A/N: I have absolutely no explanation for the part about the Mercedes at the end, except for that the entire concept really made us laugh.

Once we got my blood up off the pavement, everyone went back to their respective homes.

And then some stuff happened, and I went into unnecessary details about what people eat for breakfast. BO-RING.

So... yeah.

When we went to the movies, we tried climbing the fence, since it was a drive-in and stuff. Near doesn't like being legal, even though he's first in line to become L's successor. I have no idea how that works out, but it really pisses Mello off. Which is fine by me. He's more fun when he's extremely angry.

The only problem was, it was a very tall fence. They built it especially for Near so he couldn't climb over it.

So we crawled under it. Coming from the detective plant for genius kids, we could easily outsmart those dipshits.

We sat down behind these two dudes, and Near tried hitting on the one with glasses because he thought it was a girl. But it wasn't.

"SAJUKO!11!!11!!!" the guy yelled, and Near fell backwards in his chair, before crawling away in fear.

Mello and I were rather frightened.

"Oh, don't mind him," the old one said. I recognized him; he was the uber-epic Watari, AKA Quillsh Wammy, who set up our lovely prodigy farm. "He's schizophrenic."

"...oh. Well, that would explain some stuff," Mello muttered.

Randomly snapping back into a normal person, the bloke with glasses asked, "so, what're your names?"

"Mihael Keehl," Mello answered. "...I don't know what it means either."

I muttered, "Mail Jeevas," hoping he wouldn't hear me. But he did.

"That's original."

"Yeah, my hamster was a pretty original.... hamster."

You see, my hamster named me. Because I was born an orphan.

"Yeah, well, I'm Teru Mikami. All my friends call me Mikami, since that's what my parents named me. They're, you know, human."

"HEY!" Mello yelled. "DON'T BE HATIN' ON MATT'S HAMSTER!!"

"YEAH!" I agreed. "WANNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE, BEYOTCH?"

"Um, we are outside," Mister Wammy pointed out.

"So we are! So... umm... WANNA TAKE IT INSIDE?!"

"I'd rather not... I HATE FIGHTS. I JUST CAN'T STAND 'EM!" Mikami freaked out. He sounded strangely like a teenage girl from Oklahoma with red hair. Then, he began to give a speech about how things are rough all over, and something about sunsets and bunnies and happy things like that. And, for some reason, Micky Dolenz was sitting behind us and singing Sometime In The Morning as background music. So Mello punched a hole in his afro and he cried.

Thankfully, Miss Takada from some Japanese news show strolled up and asked if anyone had seen Near. "He slashed my engine again!"

I've always kind of wondered how you can slash an engine, because Near did that a lot.

We told her that we hadn't seen him, and she walked off in a huff. And if that interruption wasn't enough, a very plastered Roger appeared from nowhere and pantsed some guy. Then he ran through the screen cackling wildly, and we had to go home.

Mister Wammy thought we should all walk home together, so we did, and everything went perfectly smooth. Until some random blokes on Carpet Sliders began trailing us. Before we knew it, they were right beside us. It was the guy who jumped me and his unicorn.

I leapt into Mello's arms in fear.

"ARE YOU TRYIN' TO PICK UP OUR WOMEN?! I mean... uhh... MEN?!"

"No way!" Mello told him. "I've already got a manwhore, thanks! And he's way sexier than that guy!"

Mikami flipped him off.

"Marcia!" The unicorn in the Madras shirt screamed, grabbing Mister Wammy. "I mean... QUILLSH! Let's GO!"

And, with that, they sped off on their Carpet Sliders, leaving me clinging onto Mello in the middle of the deserted street. I guess he just got irritated with the silence, because he ended up heaving me to the unvacant lot where Donald Trump keeps his Mercedes. Where, upon arrival, much snogging ensued. Because snogging is better than just making-out. And on the hood of The Donald's Mercedes, no less.