I like to thank Skweek-Chan, for without her help this chapter wouldn't be here. She has to put up with me.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. This is your Holiday Gift.

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Chapter 3
Jacob seemed to be busy during the next week which gave me more time to think about going to Forks. Part of my mind wanted to forget about my life there, while the other side didn't. I didn't want to forget about the Cullens', but I wasn't sure I could keep intact. Inside my head was a huge debate that lasted an entire week.

I had the pros and cons written down, and the pounds were adding onto the 'pros'. I just was going to call Jacob to tell him that I, in fact, wasn't going, when he told me he already bought the tickets.

"I can't Jacob, I have to work. Besides, I can't just barge back in. It'll be awkward enough. I can't, I'm sorry."

"Please, Bella?" Jacob pouted. "Charlie will love to see you, just do it for him."

"Fine."

I packed in a small suitcase. I didn't go because I wanted to, but more of a calming effect for myself, I knew that I couldn't be with the Cullens'. They left. They moved on. Emmett probably is with Rosalie, and Edward, he'll be fine in the end. He's strong. Plus, I wanted Charlie to know that he was a good father to me. That I love him and nothing will change that.

I tried to convince myself that I wasn't going because I wanted too while packing, but I didn't actually believe it.

Jacob drove us to the city airport, he made me pull over the car when I was driving. He said I was driving to fast. That's surprising. None the less, we got there in time for Jacob to have a king breakfast from the fast food place and quickly boarded onto the plane.

I pulled out a copy of Hamlet that I just recently got re-acquainted with, and read the first two acts. I stopped when Jacob was waking up, restless right beside me.

"Morning" Jacob mumbled, it came out out slurred and hard to comprehend, but do to my vampire hearing, I could make it out.

"Good Morning," I returned, my voice was over joyful and didn't match my sad eyes at all.

Jacob stretched and yawned a few more times until he was finally awake, and then he waved down the trolley boy and got a bunch of snacks.

"Mmmhmmm. This is delicious." He smiled wickedly. It smelled horrible, I wanted to vomit.

"Sure you don't want any, here come on." Jacob tried stuffing the cookie into my mouth.

"Very funny." I muttered under my breathe. I didn't think Jacob heard me but when he dropped the cookie from my face, I guessed he did.

When we arrived at the airport, Jacob rented a car so we could drive down to Forks. I tried to protest, saying we could just run, due to our non-human characteristics, but he protested.

He drove in silence, and I was thinking deeply on what I should say to my father. Everything I came up with didn't work. What could you say to your father that you ran from? The battle nearly gave me a headache.

Soon enough, to my dismay, we were in the driveway to my old home, Charlie's house.

Jacob turned off the engine and opened the door to step outside. I didn't budge. He noticed my hesitance so he walked over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. He put on a small encouraging smile to motivate me. I was thankful, but it didn't work. I can't do this!

When Jacob noticed I wasn't going to budge he pulled my hand (Which pulled it out of the socket) and pushed me to the door.

"Stop," I snarled. I was truly upset; I couldn't do this.

Instead of being upset, Jacob simply laughed at my evil expression, which I had to admit wasn't that mean looking. He gave a short knock on the front door, and Charlie opened it.

His face turned pale, and his eyes were bulging out of his head. I couldn't make out if he was angry that I left or glad I'm back. I hoped for the second.

"Come in."

Jacob and I walked into the old house that brought back too many memories. I tried to turn around and run back out, but Jacob was behind me. He wouldn't let me.

I looked at the odds. I'm not very coordinated, still.

I don't trip, I'm graceful, but I can't physically fight. Well, not against wolves. My vampire power is supposed to confuse other vampires, leaving them drained and vulnerable. That's when I can pounce. For all that matters it could have been 'Bella the human' against 'Jacob the werewolf'. I was stuck being with my dad.

"Bella, where have you been?" Charlie's voice was gently yet with a powerful demand behind it.

I didn't know what to tell him. I haven't seem him in a little under 3 years since I ran away after Edward, I lost my thought and shivered.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, again.

"Edward cheated on me." My voice cracked.

"WHAT THE HELL. I'M GOING TO KICK EDWARD'S ASS!" Charlie bellowed. Beside me, Jacob was grinning, happy that Charlie wanted to kill Edward.

"DON'T!" I yelled, back. He couldn't just shot Edward, how would we explain bullets repeatedly bouncing off his chest?

"And why shouldn't I?" he asked powerfully; he was truly pissed.

I could see Jacob finally understand after I elbowed him in the gut.

I though for a reason without giving his secret away, but Jacob chimed in.

"Because he walked in on Bella and I kissing."

Charlie's face reddened. "Well then, that changes everything."

Charlie and I talked all day, and filled ourselves in with our life. After talking to him, I almost instantly felt guilty for not wanting to see my own father. When the sun began to set, Jacob and I took it as our signal to leave.

Since I 'behaved' Jacob gave me permission to drive back to the hotel, that we'd be staying in. I made sure to get two rooms.

When I got settled, I grabbed my journal.


Dear Journal,

Jacob and I are in Forks, again. It seems sorta odd to be back. I feel as if it's bring back unwanted memories. When I try to fight them away, I feel weak. It's just... I'm not sure if I want to forget, or just move on. I want to remember who they are, but I wish the feelings would go away. I don't want to care about Emmett or Edward, or Alice, or Esme, or any of them.

I tapped my pen against the nightstand.

I suppose I could find friendship, but that's it. I don't want to tear up thinking about them, or what I've caused them or what they caused me. Even though what happened has changed me as a person, I don't want to bring in the unwanted memories, that I just decided are unwanted. Hurtful memories should not be stuck inside a human, being a vampire for the rest of their existence. It isn't fair to anyone.

I shouldn't be rash, but I hope you understand about all I'm feeling. I'm just so unsure, of myself and even other things.

Until next time,

Bella.