Wow, what can I say, it's good to be back.

Can I say another wow for Breaking Dawn. WOOO!

Disclaimer:
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4

"I am watching your chest rise and fall like the tides of my life,

and rest of it all and your bones have been my bed frame

and your flesh has been my pillow

I am waiting to sleep to upper up the deep

with both hands"

I guess if you really think about it, sleep is just the inactive times during the day. When you're mind isn't wondering around a topic to think about. So in a sense I was sleeping. I was in peace.

I couldn't understand why I wasn't complaining about being in Forks, like I was earlier. I don't understand any of it. Could it possible be that the cloudy gloomy town has boughten me into a calm. Was it possible that I was getting over what has happened to me in my past life?

I got lost out of my thought when a knock came from my hotel door. Three guesses who? Jacob. It confused me that even though he had the spare key to my hotel room he still knocked. It confused me but I didn't dwell on it to much.

"Good Morning, Jacob. "

"Morning." He yawned.

"It doesn't look like you slept much." I observed.

"I suppose I sleep more then you, anyway."

I nodded, not really able to find humor in his joke. In all reality, I missed sleeping very much. I remember the time, when I was with Edward and I couldn't be any happier to just never sleep. The idea of being with him all the time trilled me, but now.

Now, I didn't really care if I was a vampire or not. Surely, if I wasn't I could've moved on? I could've found a decent guy for Charlie, faked my happiness, maybe even have a child.

Jacob cleared his throat. I looked up.

"I'm going to eat, the hotel has an all you can eat buffet." He grinned, as a growling sound came from his stomach.

"Don't eat it all." I joked.

I picked up my journal, I just wanted to write down everything my mind was thinking, everything that I thought, because I was unreadable. I suddenly felt that that one journal, the paper and the binding was the only thing in existence that understood me.

Journal,

I just came to the conclusion that I am different. I have no one who fully understands me. It's scary, honestly. To live forever without a reason to live. Edward was the only one that got me on the highest level, and Emmett... He wasn't as clear as Edwards, but he could always force it out of me.

As a human, before Edward left

I cringed and continued writing

...before Edward left, I always though of Emmett as the teddy bear, the brother that would always hold everyone together, the protector. Even then, I knew he has a booming personality and hated to see anyone he cared about hurt. I guess I didn't realize like that when we where... What where we? I don't know.

I continued with my explanations as I though what Emmett and I were.

Emmett would always know when something was wrong, but he would pout, and unlike Edward he wouldn't stop! Edward would finally just give up in frustration, but Emmett, hell he gave my stubbornness a run for my money. I always caved in and told him. Though to save my dignity I edited a bit, that, like Edward, drove him insane, but was always triumph he got his way.

I scribbled down more and I figured Jacob would be back soon, so I slid the Journal back into it's hiding spot, between the mattress.

Just a moment later, Jacob knocked on the door and let himself in, nothing was out of place.

"I figured you need a break from everything?" Jacob asked carefully, making sure not to startle me.

"If you don't mind?" I asked hesitant. He sighed.

"No, You just had so much, running into me, meeting up with Charlie. You're mind must be racing with memories, and emotions." I opened my mouth to speak. "I'll go watch some TV in my room, just come over if you need me." He turned away to the door and raced up to stop him.

"I'm going to go hunting." His face turned sour. "Just for a precaution, if I'm going to be around Charlie, you know?" He closed his eyes and nodded and proceeded out of the door.

I learned quick about hunting animals and now I did it without making a mess or worrying. I killed them fast so I didn't have to hurt them. I knew I was a monster, but one thing I knew more was that Edward was a bigger monster then me, and in my brain I could handle with what I was.

I decided to just jog to a place, I felt like running and Jacob could use the car if he need to instead of breaking a sweat (quiet literally.)

I knew the area well, and decided to go over into the woods. Technically it was the same woods that were located in Forks, just farther away. The same woods that he left me at, I thought.

I crossed over the highway, and walked into the woods without being suspicious. From there, I walked swiftly, still normal in case any other humans were around. I wasn't the best tracker and since there were over 6 hundred thousand humans here; and determining if one is in the woods is difficult. Sorry. At least, I had the advantage, my ears and my eyes.

Finally, after I was satisfied that I was alone, I went into my defensive position, which was all fours, and ran. I knew it was an interesting way of running, for a vampire, but I liked it. It was a challenge, and challenges where something that I was interested in for the pasted year or so.

I caught a smell, It was a elk male, nothing too big.

I let my instincts take over and I took off in the south-east direction following the scent - ducking tree's and leaping over a creek. Then I smelled blood.

It was coming from the direction I was going in and after a few yards, I recognized the scent as animal blood. I ran faster, to the animal, I wanted warm blood not cold blood, and I didn't want whoever killed it to deattached the body. That wasn't my style.

I pulled into the small clearing where the wounded animal was, when I saw him. Righty before my eyes, wasn't a animal, wasn't a human. Instead, it was Emmett, and being the coward that I was, I took off and ran.

He followed. I had the advantage, the ability to appear human. He wouldn't be able to smell me like he could smell Alice or Carlisle. I only had my scent of my hair conditioner, which so did a quarter of the population.

I walked to the hotel, surrounded by other humans, and walked to the hotel. I knocked on Jacob's door, and yelled in that we had to go, now.

"Why?" He asked worried as I was in the hotel room rummaging to get my things together.

"Emmett's here." I stumbled over my words, though Jacob got it. We had to get out of here, fast.

In all the commotion leaving, I felt that I left something here, you know that gut feeling? Whatever it was, I could surely just buy it.

We got into the car, and took off.

Little did I know, my life would change forever, again.

Author's Note.

Sorry for the long haitus, I didn't expect to be gone for months, but I do have a life. I promise I'll update before another year passes. ;)

Also, Thank you everyone who liked this story and Bella's Diary. You people are the ones that inspired me to come back, I love all your critisms and your reviews.