Me: I don't own Naruto-kun… (cries) I hope I do!! If I use henge as Masashi-san…then maybe…I can!!!

Warning: this is my first ever fanfiction…and I've already messed up the gender of the main character!!!

Blablablah – thoughts, talking to sena-chan

Blablablah – inner Sakura, Kyuubi

Last Chapter: Anbus are on the move to search and capture Jiraiya… … and Naruto and Sasuke are in battle with Masami. Sakura's having a problem with the scroll Tsunade gave her…

Chapter Four: Masami's Downfall

Tsunade was still furious for being so obsessed with sake that she was almost having amnesia for a day!! Oh! The power of a tiny drop of sake; the more you indulge, the less you want to break free from it!

Me: Flashback-no-jutsu!!

Sakura: I did it Tsunade-sensei!!

Tsunade: Well, time for a celebration!! Oooh!! Sake time! Sake time! I can have my sake time! I can't wait to have you sake-kun!! (has this dreamy look while chanting her delight to drink her sake inside her mind!)

Shizune: Tsunade-sama, no sake for today!! Sakura is still youn—

Sakura: Shizune-san, it's ok with me…I'll drink something else. Besides, I promised I'll treat Tsunade-sensei with a bottle of sake if I can master this technique today!!

Tsunade: More than threatened her to give me sake today… It's just a bottle

Shizune. No need to worry…Besides, I'm broke today…

Shizune: You never had a lot of money! You end up losing all of it with your gambling obsession as usual. (grabs sakura close to her and kinda whispers with deadly intent) Sakura, promise me that Tsunade-sama cannot have more than one bottle of sake. She'll be intolerable if that happens!!

Sakura: Ano, Shizune-san… what will usually happen to Tsunade-sensei?

Shizune: She'll become louder and she blabbers nonsense things… and she-

Tsunade: Oi, Shizune! Where's Tonton? He needs to be fed and bathed already… it's your schedule this time!! Catch us later after that ok? Ja ne!! Now that silences her… I'm the Hokage dammit!! I can take more than one bottle! That Shizune! (talking to herself while walking away with Sakura)

Shizune: Kami-sama!! I left him in the office!! O-ok… see you later!! He usually sleeps and pees in my chair!! Noo!!!! (made a dash toward the top of the Hokage tower)

Sakura: Ahh… see you later Shizune-san! (runs toward where the 5th went)

One hour later…

Sakura: A-ano, Tsunade-sensei… you cannot have one more bottle of sake! She's already drunk! And I've given her eight bottles already…

Tsunade: SAYS WHO? (drinks another cup while glaring at her)

Sakura: B-but!!

Tsunade: Sakura, if you give me one last bottle… I'll help you with Sasuke!

Sakura: Sasuke-kun? You mean to say that I can have Sasuke-kun's heart?

Tsunade: (nods while sipping her cup) You will have the chance to know what Sasuke likes in a girl…

Sakura: But he never will talk to me… he usually ignores me…(teary-eyed)

Tsunade: Then you will force him to tell all those things to you! (fills her empty cup)

Sakura: H-how?

Tsunade: I have the scroll for that kind of thing… I'll give it to you(wipes her mouth) if you will give me one more bottle… but I guess you really want me to stop…

Sakura: I don't care if I lose all my cash… It's Sasuke-kun we're talking here… anything for him! Matte! Tsunade-sensei, it's a deal! Oh, and I'll make it two sake bottles for the scroll!! Oh! I'm going to be the most envied kunoichi, no make that the most envied girl in Konoha! Ino-pig will have the worst reaction ever!! Cha!!

Tsunade: Hell Yeah! More sake to come! (evil grin)TWO MORE SAKE'S PLEASE! Sakura, no one must know this… let's discuss this in the office. (poofed)

Sakura: Hai!!! I hope I can do that "poof" thing too. (made a super speedy run toward the office)

Little they know that a fellow kunoichi heard everything they have discussed and had made a plan to trick the Hokage in giving her the jutsu that made Tsunade look like a mid-20's woman…

Masami: (disguised as a civilian) You there! Give me ten bottles of sake!... Uh… Can I have a discount with these?

Bartender: Sorry ma'am, we don't give discounts…

Me: Kai!! Back to the present time!!

At the training grounds…

Kakashi was already at the last page of his icha icha paradise and was sad to know that in a couple of seconds, the story will end. He was so absorbed to the story that he never realized his student Sakura was changing moods from crying to grinning then suddenly left him to find the other two members of the squad. His day turned out to be boring if not for the icha icha paradise to keep him satisfied. Well, he missed having tough missions really and hoped that someone wants to disturb this peaceful day. He's a ninja for Kami's sake! A quiet and peaceful day would only cause his eyes to droop and give in to sleep, not that it's a bad thing to do but it would cause fat to build in his body and may affect his build. He doesn't despise fat people. If that happens he would have become barbequed by the Akimichi clan. He loves fat people always thinking of them as cute, but hates himself to turn out fat!! But Kami-sama seemed to be a little deaf to his wish…or not!

Not so far away he could hear faint cries of insults that sounded like "old hag", "idiot", "bitch", "ugly" and "bastard" which were thrown at each other. Looks like he has to teach his team how to have patience just like him… As he approaches the clearing, he felt an unknown chakra signature and he thanked Kami-sama for answering his wish!

Masami: Hah… I told you, you can't kill me. Your chakra are absorbed by my mist… give up kiddos and maybe I'll spare your lives!!

Naruto: No… I won't easily give up…but I can hardly move… ack!! (tried to move)

Sasuke: I can't be this weak…nooo…but the mist is eating all my chakra… (panting)

Masami: Time's up! If you can't decide on it then I'll decide for you… Farewell despicable weaklings! I'll give you my mist suffocation jutsu!

As she made her final attack, Kakashi made his scene while throwing shurikens and kunais which forced her to move three steps back.

Masami: What is this?

The mist then gradually dissipates showing Naruto clutching his bleeding shoulder and a wounded Sasuke on all fours both panting and lacking chakra to fight.

Kakashi: Messing up with a bunch of kids is not ideal for a jounin like you.

Masami: Oh the famous Copycat! What a surprise! So the rumors are really true.

Kakashi: And that is?

Masami: That you are one hot guy! Your mask adds to your sexiness. (fangirl mode) Say, what can you say about me, the beautiful Masami of the Mist?

Kakashi: Uhh… you're old… and you need a face and bust lift …

Masami: O.O I'M NOT OLD AND UGLY!! I'll show you who I truly am and you'll regret everything you had said! (lifts and opens the scroll)

Kakashi: …!! She's not going to fight?

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei, she has stolen a scroll from the Hokage tower!

Sasuke: And that scroll is the one that she has opened!

Kakashi: Hm?? But it's already an empty scroll…

Masami: (wide-eyed) NOOOO!!! THIS CAN'T BE!! THIS CAN'T BE!!! (A dark mist starts to engulf her) I'VE BEEN TRICKED BY THAT HAG! (rage meter…46%)

Kakashi: Oi, Naruto… still got chakra left? I need you to do the sexy jutsu!

Naruto and Sasuke: (wide-eyed)…

Kakashi: She used to be a fangirl before and a big pervert… The Oiroke is the only solution…and you're the only one capable of creating massive bunshins. She's a deadly opponent when outraged. We need to at least calm her down.

Naruto: Hey Kyuu, can you lend me a little chakra? [fine… but don't disturb me again…I lack sleep…Ja!] Thanks!! Here it goes! Taijuu Oiroke-no-jutsu!!

A lot of sexy women bare-naked with private parts covered in clouds appeared.

Masami: (upon seeing the naked women … rage meter rising…75%...90%…95%) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kakashi: (passed out from massive nosebleed)…icha icha world here I come!

Naruto: Ah….heheheh!! (scratches his forehead) Ow..Ow…Ow!!! Teme, that hurts!

Sasuke: You idiot! (punches Naruto on the bleeding shoulder) Now she's totally outraged!

Naruto: Kakashi-sensei hel-! Huh? He passed out too?

Sasuke: Because he's a total pervert!!

Naruto: Well, how come you're not affected teme?

Sasuke: Hn… I closed my eyes… I'm not like him!

Naruto: But why did you bought the new edition of icha icha yesterday? Don't deny it I saw you went out of the shop while I'm on my way to ichiraku

Sasuke: Shit…That masked man forced me to buy it for him. That's the one he's been reading a while ago…

Naruto: oh, ok… So, if you're not into girls then, (realization hit him)…Aaaah!!! You're a-! (points to Sasuke accusingly)

Sasuke: (glares) I'm not GAY DOBE!!

Naruto: So, you won't faint when I will do Oiroke in a male version?

Sasuke: (huffs) No… and not in a millionth time will my answer be changed..

Naruto: Really??

Sasuke: (glare intensifies) Hn…

Naruto: are you rea—

Masami: HEY, WHEN WILL YOU BRATS STOP TALKING AND FIGHT WITH ME??

A gush of wind passes by carrying debris of dirt and fallen leaves was the only reply to Masami's question. Both genins have forgotten her and were so focused on their conversation and just realized she was still there intent to kill them already when she shouted.

MASAMI: HEY!!! YOU'RE FORGETTING ME HERE!

Naruto and Sasuke: … (looks at her then glared at each other completely ignoring her murderous aura)

Naruto: Hmpf!! Then prove it!! Taijuu Oiroke-no-jutsu!!

Masami and Sasuke: hm?? (all they see is smoke covering the area and no naked men)

Naruto: looks like I'm chakra depleted already…kyuu? [zzZZZzZ!] what the?? WAKE UP KYUU!!! I'M DYING YOU HAVE TO LET ME LIVE SO YOU CAN LIVE TOO RIGHT!!KYUU??...Kami-sama help!! (drops on all fours)

Suddenly out of the bush popped up two males with bow cut hair wearing green spandex and flashy smile!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-sensei!!!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-sensei!!!

Gai: Lee!!

Lee: Gai-

The smoke gave way to the two hyperactive shinobis making it look like they were the ones summoned by Naruto.

Masami: AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? (still can't see clearly through the smoke)

Gai: SUCH A YOUTHFUL WOMAN YOU ARE!!

Masami: (rage meter falling…70%) He said I'm beautiful!!

Gai: I AM MAITO GAI, THE GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA (flashes his trademark smile)

Lee: AND I AM ROCK LEE, MAY YOUR YOUTHFULNESS SHINE! (the sun's rays added a tinge of sparkle to his shown teeth)!

Masami: Ehhhhhhh?? (Now, clearly face to face with the two shinobis smiling at her)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! (rage meter…20%...2%) (fear meter …70%...99%)

Gai: YOSH! WHY DID SHE FAINT?

Lee: GAI-SENSEI, SHE NEEDS CPR!

Naruto: Ah, what's CPR?

Sasuke: You force someone who fainted to regain their breathing and blood circulation by kind of kissing them in the process.

Naruto: kissing them? (looks at Masami) Just like when the prince charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and woke her up? And …and when Snow White was kissed by his prince too?

Sasuke: You read those things?

Naruto: What's your problem with that!!! It's better than those icha icha both you and kakashi sensei read!!

Sasuke: I don't read those things dobe!

Naruto: Ha!! As if it isn't true!

Sasuke: Hn… I just skimmed through the pages…once…just ONCE!!!

Naruto: See!! I got you now teme!!! OW!! (punched by Sasuke)

Lee: YOSH! I THOUGHT SASUKE IS G-!

Gai: WATCH CLOSELY LEE!! I WILL DO A VERY BRAVE ACT!! AND IN MERE SECONDS, THIS WOMAN WILL BREATHE!

Lee: I WILL GAI-SENSEI! (eagerly watches Gai kissing , erm… giving CPR to Masami)

Gai closed the gap between him and Masami. Kakashi was slowly regaining his senses when he saw Gai somewhat KISSING Masami… and he fainted again due to grossing out leaving his tongue out in the process.

Masami: (awaken) Hmm… is someone kissing me? (opens eyes) Uwah!!( tries to release herself from Gai's hold) YOU!!!!!YYYOOOUU!!!!

Gai: YOSH!! YOU'RE AWAKE NO--OOOOW!! (punched hard by Masami and sent to a nearby tree)

Lee: GAI-SENSEI!!!!

Masami: HENTAI!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! AAAH!!!

Kakashi: (wakes up after hearing the loud crash made by Gai) You can't get away this easily!

Masami: Shit… that ugly thing has also recovered… I must escape fast!

Gai: YOSH, MY ETERNAL RIVAL IS HERE!

Kakashi: Time to end this game right now Masami, right Gai?? (earned a thumbs up and a toothy smile from Gai)

Masami: I'm really in deep shit now…

Gai: LEE, BRING SASUKE-KUN AND NARUTO-KUN TO THE HOSPITAL! WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF HER!

Lee: HAI, GAI-SENSEI!! (thumbs up)

At the hospital…

Sakura was busy in aiding the injured people that were affected by the destroyed Hokage tower.

Sakura: Tsunade-sempai's really angry today. What did Jiraiya-san do that caused her to destroy the Hokage tower?

Medic: Sakura, I need you to attend to Uzumaki and Uchiha… they have encountered a jounin level enemy kunoichi from the Mist Village a while ago…

Sakura: What happened to Sasuke-kun?!

Medic: There's no need to worry much. They only got minor cuts and bruises. I'll take your place here. She didn't even ask on Naruto's condition.

Sakura: Domo, Arigatou! (runs toward Naruto and Sasuke's room and bumps into Lee) Ah, Lee!

Lee: SAKURA-CHAN! WHAT A YOUTHFUL DAY IT IS TO SEE YOU! NARUTO AND SASUKE ARE OVER THERE!

Sakura: Thanks Lee! Ja ne!

Lee: (grinning) NOW, TIME TO RUN 1000 LAPS!! SAKURA JUST MADE A CONVERSATION WITH ME! YOSH!

Inside room 143…

Sakura: Sasuke-kun!!! Naruto!!! What happened back there?

Sasuke: Sakura, tend to our wounds first… we're too exhausted to tell you…

Naruto: S-sakura-chan!! (gives a faint smile)

After one hour…

Sakura: You two take a rest. I'll be back later to check on you! (closes the door)

Sasuke: Dobe…

Naruto: Hm?

Sasuke: Why do you heal fast?

Me: Flashback-no-jutsu …

Naruto was currently fighting with Masami while Sasuke was regaining consciousness from his hard fall. Suddenly, Masami formed seals which will then close the chakra path gates thereby weakening Naruto. The blond tried to counter but failed miserably giving a frightening scream as his last cry. After closing the chakra path on Naruto, Masami then made her way to his heart for a fast kill but Sasuke blocked Naruto therefore receiving the hit slightly on his right arm.

Naruto: SASUKE!!

A barely moving Naruto felt the chakra all over his body burst out forcefully giving him strength to move and defend a bleeding Sasuke. He delivered a hard blow on Masami's cheek causing her to lose momentum. Masami was shocked that Naruto was able to break free from her seal but after the sudden blow, she countered it with her shurikens and he caught it then fell to the ground face first and "poofed". Naruto came out from behind her but she already sensed him and as a result, he was hit by her ice needles to which he bled all over and fell to the ground leaving Sasuke to finish her. Shurikens and kunai flew into the air. Fireballs obliterate trees and ice daggers pierce through tree trunks. Sasuke is always good in evading but his attacks and defenses are not on par with Masami's. As Sasuke was fighting her, he noticed that Naruto made a groggy attempt to stand. His wounds from her ice needles seemed to be gone and he's already standing and defending him against her blows. This made Masami angry as to how easily Naruto has overcome her attacks and made quick hand signs to create a chakra absorbing mist which made both of them numb and weak…

Me: End Flashback…

Naruto: Sasuke, I can't tell you yet…you might hate me… I don't want to lose the bond I have with you… (from a sad face then smirks) I really don't know…Heh admitting you're too slow to heal teme!!!!?

Sasuke: Hn… you're hiding something from me…Shut up!!

Naruto: Say Sasuke, tomorrow's a holiday…

Sasuke: So? What's so special about the Kyuubi's fall?

Naruto: Heh, a lot of your fangirls will annoy you for sure!!! (fangirl mode) Ooh, Sasuke-kun ! Will you go out with me to see the fireworks tonight Sasuke-kun? Will you--!! (got hit by a pillow on the head) Hey!!

Sasuke: Quit doing that! You are more annoying than them!! Plus, you look like one of them…(turns away from Naruto)

Naruto: At least I don't only receive a "Hn" from you teme!! (snickers)

Sasuke: Hn… just go to sleep dobe…

Naruto: Night teme!

Sasuke: Hn…oyasumi...

At the repaired Hokage Tower…

Shizune: Tsunade-sama , somebody has stolen a scroll a while ago. Thanks to Naruto and Sasuke she is now at Ibiki's den…

Tsunade: She??

Shizune: Her name's Masami from the Mist…

Tsunade: She seems familiar… I want to see her tomorrow.

Shizune: Hai!

Me: Dun dudu dun!! The chapter's ended!!! Whew!! It's quite long…the longest chapter I ever had written!!! But hey I'm quite satisfied writing it. Next chapter, we'll celebrate Naruto's Bday!!! Yaay!! And he receives a very precious gift!!

Naruto turning female will happen very very soon… who knows maybe next chapter? And Masami got an empty scroll!!Poor Masami!! Her interrogation will also appear next chapter!! So, is Sakura the only culprit now? Ooh!! What will Tsunade do when she finds out it's her apprentice?

Sorry for a very very late update…but good news…I'm posting the next chapter next week..or less… I got lost track on my first plot that's why I've rewritten the story… the battle scenes are quite lame…sorry for the disappointment!!! I made Kakashi faint two times!! And sorry for not elaborating Masami, Kakashi and Gai's fight. I felt it's not really needed at all. Sasuke's weak due to too much chakra exhaustion and his recovery compared to Naruto's is quite slow…

Oh, I'm writing another Femnarusasu…and I'll post it really soon… so long for now!!! ta da!!!