What did the dog look like?" Hawkeye demanded.

"Chocolate brown, medium sized, pointy ears," was the answer after some thought.

Hawkeye burst into Radar's office, making him yelp and clutch his chest. "Do you know what dog is chocolate colored with pointy ears?" Hawkeye demanded.

"That's Ernest. Why?" Radar asked, annoyed, with his hand still over his heart.

"Because I think he has Amazon."

"Has Amazon? What would-oh no." Radar was on his feet and out the door, calling the dog to no avail. Hawkeye added a few of his own shouts, to both animals, but none showed up. It took a while but finally they gave up and went back to the Swamp.

"I'm sorry, Hawkeye." Radar told him.

"Yeah."

The door opened and BJ came in. "What was all the commotion?"

"A dog got Amazon." Radar said quietly.

"Hawk, when?"

"She was gone when I got back from duty and somebody said they saw a dog running off with something in its mouth." He paused and gave BJ a hard look. "Where were you?"

"I took a shower, came back and got dressed, and then went to the mess tent for coffee. Father Mulcahy just got a joke book from his sister and I stayed to listen."

"Well was she here when you were?"

"On your bed."

"Did you see anything?"

"No, Hawkeye, I didn't. I'm sorry." BJ poured Hawkeye a drink and handed it to him.

"No, it's fine," He said abruptly. He downed the drink, grimaced and held out his glass for a refill. "She was Radar's anyway."

Wordlessly, BJ kept them coming.

An hour later, Hawkeye was so drunk he would have been falling down, had he tried to stand up. He raised his glass and said, "To Amazon, Wild Cat of Korea. Rest in Peace."

* * *

The next morning Hawkeye lay on his bunk shading his eyes with his forearm. The door opened and Frank came in, slamming the door behind him-on purpose, Hawkeye suspected.

"Tone it down a little, will ya'?" He asked.

"Just because you got liquored up last night doesn't mean I'm going to walk around on egg shells today." Frank answered.

Hawkeye called him a name that made Frank's mouth open and close several times then turn away in a huff.

Hawkeye heard Frank scrabbling around, and then the chair scrape out. He winced and said again, "Quiet," as the sound assailed his hung-over senses.

"Pierce, get over here."

"Frank, I swear-"

"No, Pierce, get over here."

With a growl, Hawkeye sat up and looked to where Frank was gazing.

Hawkeye let out a whoop and made it across the room and onto his knees in three strides.

Amazon lay on several shirts, with four kittens nursing hungrily.

"She's alive," Hawkeye whispered. "Look what you did."

"She's on my shirt." Frank said.

"I don't care! She's alive!"

"She's on my shirt."

"She's gonna stay on there, too, because if you touch her I'll permanently attach you to your shirt." And he bounded out to give Radar and BJ the news.

They moved the kittens into the same crate Amazon had stayed in, and placed it in the quietest corner of the Swamp, all under the proud mama's watchful eye, of course.

"What are you going to call them?"

"I don't know. But I'm so glad she's alive." Hawkeye was staring down at them. "I do know one thing. She's getting fixed as soon as she's recovered a bit. I'm not going through that again." Suddenly he was uncomfortable, so he put on a goofy grin. "The hangover alone was murder."

BJ and Radar just smiled.

The End

Well that does it for another M*A*S*H fic for me. I started another last night, nearly finished it already, and should have it posted by the end of the week (in full) if I can get online long enough. It's my answer to what would happen if Radar socked Hawkeye. Y'all come and read it. Don't forget to review and I love getting messages too.