It's four in the morning at the Swan household and I am bored mixed with heartsick. It's an unpleasant, empty feeling that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I hear a howl in the distance and I cringe into Bella's sleeping body. The howl triggers thoughts of Jacob, and I don't need any more of those. I've already been thinking about him enough yesterday and today. It almost gives me a headache, the angst I feel. On one hand, I have Bella. She's beautiful and shy and polite. On the other hand, there is Jacob. He is ruggedly handsome, hilarious and in love with me. What's a vampire to do?

Edward.

I jolt at the familiar voice thinking my name. I slide away from Bella and check out the window. There's no sign of Jacob. I must be going insane. Can my kind go insane? I have no idea.

In the woods; meet me in the woods.

I start to climb out of the window, obeying the thought, but I stop and snigger to myself. This is ridiculous. I am not looking like a burglar in order to blindly follow someone's thoughts. Even to me that sounds ludicrous, and I have a sister who sees the future. I shake my head, as if that will bring back my logic, and start to slide into bed. But the thoughts I'd been hearing turn angry.

I am getting into so much trouble right now, so look out your damn window! Please, Edward?!

I reluctantly stroll to the window, unsure of where my head is right now. What I see waiting for me at the base of Bella's house makes my heart leap… figuratively, of course. There is a big, red-brown wolf staring up at me. I hold up one finger and whip over to Bella. "Bella?" I whisper in her ear. Her eyes flutter open and she takes in a large inhale.

"Edward," she mumbles.

"Emmett and Jasper are outside," I lie. "They say they found a rather large grizzly bear. They were saying- well, thinking, that they would come and drag the both of us out if I didn't go… you know Emmett."

Bella mumbles a goodbye and nods off again. I rush back over to the window and jump out of it, eager to find out what Jacob was doing. "Hey, Jake," I say nonchalantly.

Hi there. Woods?

"Woods."

We have a race of sorts to the middle of the woods and I say, "Alright. Why did you drag me here?"

I haven't phased in a long time, but since nobody's a wolf right now, I'm enjoying some freedom and I thought I'd enjoy it more with you here. How are you tonight? he asks, laying down and whines quietly to tell me to join him. I take a seat beside him and absentmindedly stroke the top of his head.

"I'm alright," I murmur, contentment sweeping over me. "And you?"

Fantastic now, he says in the same happy purr. Free.

"Freedom is always good."

Always.

"Hey, Jacob?" I ask a little uneasily.

Mm?

"I just wanted to say that I love you. And I need you. I need you like the stars need the sky that needs the Earth that needs the sun that needs the universe that needs you and me."

A tiny tear makes its way from the corner of Jacob's eye and he turns away. I feel awful for making him cry, so I say, "Sorry. It's just how I feel."

I know… I just… I just wish I had something that amazing to say back. You, Edward Cullen, are completely and totally the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you like… augh, it's useless. No words can try to describe it.

"I'd say that was a spectacular reply," I say with less emotion than I wanted. That upsets me a little.

Thanks. God, why can't this be right?!

"I haven't the foggiest, Jake. The best things in existence are usually wrong. But… can we not talk about this tonight?"

Jacob's head nods under my hand and we watch straight ahead, both unthinking but totally content. We don't need to think or say anything, because we're that in tune with each other by this point. Neither feels the compulsion to start a conversation; Jacob's got the sunrise painted in his thoughts, and all I'm thinking about is how complete I feel. Like he's some vital resource to me. I don't mind that I'm thirsty and that I can smell grizzly a few miles off, I just care about Jacob and his contented sighs he gives every few minutes.

I don't know how long we've been sitting here before Jacob has a thought directed at me, so it startles me. Hey, Edward? Woah, sorry. It's just me. Don't get all jumpy. But I was just wondering when you have to be back. Like, back to Bella.

I mull it over. I have to at least hunt one animal to make my story plausible, and I suppose Bella will start to worry if I'm not back by solar noon. "What time is it?"

Umm… from where the sun is, I'd say seven, seven thirty. No later than eight. You gotta go?

I nod sadly. "I have to hunt, because that was my excuse, and I need to get back to her before she starts to worry. I am truly sorry, Jacob. This was…" I struggle for words. "This was… this was spectacular."

Jacob runs in the opposite direction, but I don't fret because I knew what he was about to do before he did it. He phases to human and walks over to me, unabashed by his nakedness and humanlike vulnerability, he pulls me into him and kisses me. I succumb to the slight faintness that takes me over and I go a little limp in his arms. He slowly pulls away and grins at me. "See you later, parasite."

"In a while, mongrel."

He laughs and we head in opposite directions; me towards the grizzly bear, and him towards his home, I assume. I take off in a run once I've got a clear, fresh trail of the bear's scent and catch it in literally two seconds. It's obviously no match for me, and I feel a slight satiation as I head back to Bella's.

She's still asleep, snoring lightly. I slide onto her bed without waking her, and I remain there until she turns over to face me, relief washing over her drowsy face. She kisses me lightly, and I purr, "Good morning."

"Good morning indeed. When did you get back?"

"Oh, around eight-ish. What time is it now?"

"Ten. How was that grizzly bear?"

"Delicious," I say as creepy as I can. I enjoy messing with Bella about my diet. I wish at these moments more than ever that I could read her mind and see her initial reaction, before she filters it for my sake.

"Oh. Well, if you don't mind, I've got to take a human minute."

I nod. That's what she calls her morning routine in the bathroom. I sit on her bed with my hands folded in my lap and twiddle my thumbs. This is a bad sign, because rarely do vampires fidget. We can always find something to focus on, but I'm nervous. I smell like dog, I haven't changed my clothes since I was with Jacob and my mind is on him so much that I can't speak with any form of coherency, and I am fidgeting. This isn't good.

Bella comes back in after some amount of time and sits on my lap, kissing my cheek. I lean into the kiss because I know she likes how I taste. "Edward…" she says tentatively, "what's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing. Just… feeling a little out of it today."

"Why's that?"

Inquisitive Bella. I love that about her, but I don't like it right now. Can't she leave it alone? "I don't know. Probably because I had to leave you alone all night with that filthy mutt roaming around."

"Jacob? Edward. You need to accept that he is my best friend and-"

"Shhh. I know. I didn't say I didn't like it, I just said it threw me a little off balance."

Bella nods silently and leans her head against my shoulder. I do hate to break the moment up, but I feel the absolute need to. "I should get home. You know, shower, change my clothes and things like that."

Her face falls, but she lets me go. I mutter a quick goodbye and jump out the window. On the drive back to my house, though, I can't help but feel a burning in my throat. Not a thirsty burn. A sad burn. I try and make a noise to clear it, but all I can manage is a sob. That sad, pathetic sob of a tearless body.