Code Geass: A series of unlikely events
Story 03: The heart asks pleasure first
Writer: Asheron Karuma
Don't own
I started writing this on April 19 of 2008, I had finished about half of the main story until I found out a terrible mistake. I first thought that Lelouch wouldn't remember Suzaku either but it seemed that I was wrong and so I had to rewrite the beginning and only recently have I taken in an urge to finish it, specially after watching atonement and because that movie is so inspiring I dedicate this chapter to that movie. I hope you'll enjoy it, I felt so sad when I finished it.
This story isn't only LelouchxSuzaku, it also has hints of RoloxLelouch because Rolo it is obvious XP
"No, not there..."
He gasped at the continuous movements that were created by the flick of a finger, his hands clinging against someone's shoulders as he leaned against his chest, his breath haze and fastened as drool ran down the edges. His mouth moved but no sound came out, inaudible to his own ears and his lips moved as if saying a name, not just saying it but crying it out as tears ran down his face. He was never able to hear this person's name for some reason, but there was one thing he did know and that was when he finally looked up in the dream he looked right into a pair of green eyes that stared back at him with lust and love. They seemed of importance to him but soon after he saw those passionate and loving green eyes he lost himself again, squirming and moaning on the lap of this stranger with his face pressed against his chest while smelling the warm sweat that covered them, a smell that expressed the passion and lust there was between them. There was a pressure building in his chest, a feeling as if something was bound to explode from within and as the seconds passed this feeling continued to rise upwards, gasping and moaning he eventually stiffened and released in a sense of euphoria, in the arms of a man he carried no name and who yet seemed so gentle and passionate to him that it made him feel something he wasn't supposed to feel and it was this feeling that made him afraid.
A gasp escaped his lips as his eyes were confronted by a ceiling view, sweat dripped down his forehead as he turned his head to the side. It was nearly 3 AM in the morning and it was still dark outside, the moon was casting a long ray of light shaped in the form of his windows and he realised that he was alone. Lelouch slowly sat up and put a hand against his forehead as he set his feet on the wooden floor next to his bed. He tried to catch his breath and tried to calm himself down but this had been the seventh time that he had this dream, a dream of him doing things that he would have found vulgar in his current state of mind and every time he dreamt he saw those green eyes, the eyes of an unknown stranger. A stranger that yet looked so familiar to him that it put him on edge.
"Who are you...?"
He asked out towards the darkness in front of him and he tried to imagine his eyes and face once again, but the memory had faded and all that remained were the feelings that still ebbed in his chest, his heart pounding as he found himself lost between those memories, memories that didn't fleet back as he hoped them to do. He was unable to remember his face, his eyes and was only able to remember what they did, he could only remember the hands, touch and smell. The passion was all that remained in his chest while the rest remained unknown to him. They were never there when he thought about them, his voice had always been unheard when he said this person's voice and yet he knew that he was saying a name, but it remained unheard and somehow it was as if they were blocked out.
"Nii-san are you alright...? You look deadbeat"
He looked up from the paperwork he was working on towards his little brother who was standing next to him, leaning against the wooden table he was working on and he looked at him with worry as he asked him this, Lelouch merely smiled at him because his brother was right about that. He was very tired from the lack of sleep he received the previous night.
"I'm alright, Rolo... I guess I stayed up too long last night..."
Rolo eyed with worry as Lelouch continued his paperwork for the student council, he didn't want his little brother to be distressed about him and so he kept quiet about the dreams he had been having for the past 4 months. At first they started in a slow pace, slowly evolving to what they were now and now they had become more frequent as well. The first time span he had in between the dreams was about a week and now they were separated by less than 3 days, also in the first dreams he had it didn't come to the point where he actually released and neither to the point where he actually saw those green eyes. It was as if something was trying to get out of his head and as if this something was trying to show him something important.
The days passed by eventually and he forgot about the ordeal again and instead he occupied himself with gambling once more. Having won another chess match he returned to the parking lot without feeling victorious, he had won there was no doubt about that, but there was something that always agitated him when he played the game, it was a sort of frustration that he couldn't explain and no matter how many times he won he always found that victory came too effortless, it wasn't as pleasing as it was supposed to be. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings as he walked down the steps towards the street and because of his inattention he bumped into someone, the suitcase fell from his hand and landed on the ground and much to his dislike it opened and scattered the black and white pieces across the floor. He quickly kneeled down to get the pieces together with his hands before they could roll away or be crushed.
"Sorry, I wasn't..."
He apologized but stopped when he heard a click followed by a beeping sound next to him, his eyes looked at the person there and followed from red shoes to pink and white striped socks and eventually crossed over from her pink short dress to her face which was hiding behind a small triangular device she was holding in her hands. There was another click and he was certain now that she was making pictures of him. The device in her hands lowered and revealed a young girl's face behind it, her eyes tinned in a darker pink than her hair and with such a sense of coldness that it made him freeze for a moment.
"You..."
He managed to speak out before realising that his chess pieces were still scattered over the pavement, he continued to gather them in a hasted and panicking way to put them back in the suitcase they belonged and by the time he looked up again the girl was gone.
"Nii-san!"
"Rolo..."
He looked the other way again and saw his brother run up to him, it seemed that he had just arrived to pick him up.
"Why are you on your knees...?"
Lelouch smiled as he stood up again. He clapped the dust of his knees and secured his suitcase before walking towards the borrowed motorcycle together with Rolo.
"Bad luck I guess, I walked into someone and dropped my suitcase..."
He said as he put his suitcase in the passenger seat and grabbed the helmet and glasses next to it.
"Strange thing was, when I looked up again she was gone..."
Rolo's shoulders tensed as if it bothered him, but he didn't pay much attention to it.
"I guess she was what they call... a lolita... she was pretty young as well..."
Once he added this Rolo seemed to calm down again, he didn't see it because he was busy putting on his helmet. The younger sibling was glaring at him for some reason but eventually smiled and sat down on the machine.
Another gasp escaped his lips before their mouths connected again, he could feel everything. The hands gripping his hips as he was lowered backwards onto the covers, a tongue entwining with his own in his mouth, fighting each other violently and yet passionately. He bit the unknown man's lip as he felt pain exceeding through his lower half, soft tears ran down his cheeks and stained the fabric he was lying on but it didn't matter because he knew that beyond these borders of pain lay fields of pleasure. He released the grip on his own lip moaned loudly as the man leaned forward to whisper in his ears with a soft tone.
"Don't be too loud or..."
His eyes snapped open and he sat up abruptly, back in his bedroom and back in his bed. He rubbed his eyes and realised when he retreated them that there were tears in them for some reason, but it wasn't this that he found shocking. No, he had heard his voice for the first time since 3 months. the voice of the unknown stranger with green eyes that pleased him sexually in his dreams and the more he thought about it the more shocking his realisations became, he knew this voice and he knew it well.
"Ooh God..."
Placing one hand against his mouth he quickly ran into the bathroom, the door slamming behind him as he leaned against the sink. That voice belonged to someone he knew well and it made him confused because their relationship had never been like this, in fact it had never been different before and he hadn't seen him in months now. But why was he dreaming about him in such a vulgar way? Why was it him out of all people? Kururugi Suzaku, now also known as the Knight of Seven, serving the Emperor of Britannia as his personal guard and who previously known as Kururugi Suzaku his childhood friend that had attended school with him while being a soldier in the army. The person who had caught Zero and who was now plaguing him in his dreams, making love to him in so many different ways that he had lost track of count. The realisation that it was in fact him who had been occupying his dreams for the last 4 months made him feel sick in his stomach and it also scared him, he was scared because he didn't know why this was happening and was panicking because he didn't know what to do. These dreams had to stop somehow, he couldn't continue dreaming this. He shouldn't be dreaming of him in that way.
Several days later he noticed a new cheery atmosphere at school. From the moment his classes started everyone seemed more happy and excited than usual and rumours of an unknown guest came to him. He didn't know what was going on, he hadn't been at the council for several days now because he was trying to clear his mind, well it wasn't exactly clearing he had forbid himself to fall asleep at night and was trying to make up for it during the day on the rooftop, Rolo was worried about him and had asked him if everything was alright but it would be shameful if he actually told him that his older brother wasn't sleeping because he was dreaming about having sex with another man who also happened to be a Knight of Rounds, he was certain that if Rolo ever found out that it would break his heart for sure. Rolo was just too innocent for these kinds of things.
"Nii-san, didn't you hear... someone important is coming to our school..."
His hands split the croissant for his lunch, he decided to ask Rolo about the rumours he heard and the two were now sitting outside on a set of stairs overlooking a small green perch. He wanted to know about this unknown guest.
"What do you mean...?"
Rolo took the offered croissant and took a bite from it, Lelouch took his time to observe him for a moment, Rolo didn't seem as pleased as the other students by this news but much to his dislike did he hear that not even his younger brother knew who this person was going to be.
"Milly probably spread the rumours... but not even I know who this person is..."
Rolo answered when he was done chewing.
"It must be a very important person then..."
Lelouch now looked forward and continued to eat himself, he was curious but also uninterested. He didn't care about the guest because he figured it had to be someone of high stature, someone that was probably an adult or maybe even someone royal, either way he didn't care because his mind was set on other things.
"Are you sure you're alright nii-san...?"
He was snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his little brother, an expression of worry crossed his face and he quickly smiled at him before answering.
"Why wouldn't I be...?"
"Don't act like nothing is going on, nii-san... I've noticed too, at night you're always up, you hardly sleep..."
Rolo had always looked cute when he was acting like this and the worried look on his little brother's face had made him realise that it was actually bothering him to see his brother act this way, but Rolo didn't know why he was acting like this and he would probably never understand. His hand ruffled through the other's hair and Rolo moaned in annoyance.
"Sorry for worrying you... lately I've been having these strange dreams, that's all..."
Rolo quickly turned to him again and the smile that was on his face had quickly faded to a neutral expression.
"About what...?"
He asked in a cold and yet worried tone, but Lelouch laughed it off and got up from his seat.
"It's nothing Rolo, you shouldn't worry that much..."
He said as he stood in front of him and turned to get back to his classroom, Rolo however glared at him as he walked away.
"What are you doing? Anya"
Suzaku watched as the blonde dropped down next to his pink haired colleague who had occupied herself for the last couple of hours with her mobile phone, Suzaku never paid much attention to what she was doing with that thing, he had asked her before but she only said something about updating her diary. He watched from a distance as the two started to mingle and converse.
"Updating my diary... I took these pictures in Tokyo last week..."
The last words caught his attention but he wasn't interested in it, it brought back too many memories.
"Tokyo...?"
Gino watched over her shoulder and then turned to Suzaku with a wide grin on his face...
"Isn't that where you're from, Suzaku?"
"Yes..."
He answered in a cold tone and was about ready to get up and leave but when he got up he could feel an arm tighten around his neck, he gasped to get some air as he could feel himself being dragged backwards towards the still busy Anya. Gino didn't release him and instead forced him too watch along, probably so that Suzaku could work further on his social skills which of course the blonde thought he lacked extremely ever since the day he arrived.
"Don't run... be a nice man and socialise for a change!"
He was yelled at and he watched as the pictures flipped by one by one, a bar in the middle showing the fast upload process. Most of the pictures that zipped by were shots made in Tokyo but also random objects such as trash or people doing something. Anya was a strange girl and she made pictures of literally everything.
"Did you make these photos?"
"Yes..."
She answered short and coldly as she continued to select photos for the upload. They all zipped by one by one and for a moment it saddened him to see these things again, the things he gave up in the past and left behind. His eyes however widened when a certain black haired Prince zipped by as well, Gino noticed how Suzaku's shoulders stiffened and tabbed the girl on her shoulder...
"That guy... who is that?"
Anya looked up at the blonde and selected the photograph for viewing.
"The blind chess boy..."
She called him in a calm tone, as if it didn't bother her at all. The person was kneeled down on the ground and was looking into the camera surprised as his hand carried several lose chess pieces that were also scattered over the pavement. Gino was surprised by this given nickname.
"What...?"
"That's what I call him..."
She answered and she continued her work, the two didn't notice how quiet the Japanese had become and Gino continued to bicker to hear the story behind the picture as Suzaku walked away from them, feeling uneasy and also depressed. The last time he had actually seen Lelouch, well the real Lelouch, was when he had handed him over to the Emperor. No he hadn't given him over he had betrayed him, Lelouch had said so himself, he had betrayed his best friend, it was what he called him to the public but the truth was very different because their relationship was even closer than that. He leaned against the wall in the hallway and slowly raised his hand to his chest. Even after all these months it was still racing at the sight of him and it was a dreadful curse. Once a long time ago he had fallen in love with the Prince whose hands were stained by the blood of the fair Princess who could change the world. But this Lelouch was different and he had to remind himself of that every time, the poison named Zero had been removed from his veins and with that also the memories they shared together, their love seemed a payment for this new chance and what remained now was a reality in which nothing had happened between them. Nothing had happened.
"Thank you for helping me carry these, Rolo"
"Not a problem, nii-san"
He smiled at his younger brother's back as they both headed down to the student council room. Another day and once again more paperwork to complete for everyone's budgets. It was a lot of paperwork that had to be done and in one hand he carried a box with files that covered the last years made budgets and expenses for each club, his other hand was carrying a small pile of papers that he was reading through while walking, they contained requests made by the various clubs on what they wanted as future budgets. His younger brother carried a somewhat smaller box because he didn't find it appropriate for him to be carrying the heavier one.
He didn't notice that Rolo was keeping a close eye on him, the younger brother had been bothered by his behaviour and was afraid that something bad was going to happen, his mission was more important than anything and for that reason he had taken matters into his own hands. The previous night he had sneaked into his brother's room and had stayed at his side to try and figure out why he was acting so strangely. He was sitting on a chair next to his bed and as time progressed he had noticed how Lelouch had started to twist and turn in his sleep, his face expressing something unreadable, but when he turned around and nuzzled further into his pillow he had realised what he was dreaming, these speculations seemed correct specially after he said two words.
"No... Suzaku..."
Normally he wouldn't be worried because Suzaku wasn't something that opposed a threat to his altered memories but it was the way he was saying it that made him concerned. He wasn't just saying the name, he was moaning it in pleasure. It was so shocking that he almost forgot about getting away, this was why his geass was so handy, he could sneak out before his older brother could wake up. He was gone when Lelouch snapped back to reality and everything started to make sense now because while he was listening in on him he realised that his brother was freaked out about the ordeal and had eventually stayed up all night. The next morning he had offered to help him out with the budgets because he looked more tired than usual and he was paler as well, Rolo had noticed that he hadn't skipped his classes that day either to nap on the roof.
Both of them noticed that something was going on in the student council room as they came closer to the door, inside everyone was being pretty loud and you could hear it in the hallway. The two siblings stopped for a moment and Rolo eyed his older brother nervously, but he simply shrugged in return and urged him to move forward, the door opened and the two walked inside, however because Lelouch was still reading the papers in one hand he hadn't noticed that his younger brother had come to an abrupt stop and thus he walked into him and dropped the box he was carrying. The carton box fell on the ground and much to his dislike the maps inside fell out, spreading out the papers that were inside over the wooden floor.
"Rolo, why are y-"
He asked out as he looked at him, but he noticed how Rolo seemed to stare at someone else and when he followed his gaze his own eyes widened as well. He was surprised but also a tad scared when he saw Suzaku standing in the same room and he was now looking at him with his green eyes. He quickly tried to avert his own gaze because that look made him quite nervous, his shaking hands were proof of that.
"Lelouch!"
Milly yelled at him in an angry tone for dropping the box full of files and now looked at him with anger. Lelouch however said nothing in return because he was un able to get any sane words out of his mouth, he was stunned by the arrival of his friend and without noticing it the papers he had been holding in his other hand now slipped through his fingers on the floor, scattering and blending in with the rest of the pile.
"What's wrong with you! Don't be so rude to our guest!"
Rivalz yelled out and grabbed his arm, somewhere in the back he could hear Rolo calling his name as he was being dragged forward. Forward meant closer to Suzaku and with every step he took he became more and more uncomfortable, Suzaku was now apologizing to him and Rolo for coming by so unexpected and the sound of his voice made him flinch.
"Don't be too loud or..."
Those lips had said those exact words to him, those lips that were now apologizing to him in such a casual matter that it was hard for him to realise that now they were nothing but strangers to one another. On one side there was Suzaku who passionately touched him in places he could only dream of and on the other there was the Suzaku who stood tall and strong and who had always seemed so far away from him. Which Suzaku was which? Why was he feeling as if he was confronted by what he saw in those dreams? The feelings were tightening around his chest and it brought him to the edge of what was currently real and what had happened in his dreams. He was trying to block it out but much like a river it couldn't be stopped.
"Don't just stand there, say something!"
"No... I..."
No matter how much he tried it started to flood back to him, he didn't hear Rivalz and instead he was partly reliving everything that had happened to him in those dreams, he was darting between reality and his own paranoia. Suzaku was looking at him with worry and he gasped when their eyes met once again, those green eyes, every time he saw them it reminded him of those in his dreams.
"Nii-san... you"
Right now it seemed as if everyone was doing everything at once and because of this pressure he was unable to point his attention to anything because he didn't know what to look at. He looked over his shoulder to one side in a fastened movement and then right back over the other, his eyes meeting falling on the one person in front of him every time he did.
"No, not there..."
"Lulu just had to make a complete mess didn't he...?"
Shirley was calling his name and Rivalz was trying to get his attention by tugging him by the arm and through that touch he could almost feel himself drowning in those rough hands that had touched him in his dreams, those tanned hands that had worked down every inch of his body.
"Ooy, Lelouch!"
He aggressively pulled his arm away from Rivalz' grip because he didn't want to remember it, he passed those green eyes again and noticed how worried they looked, but Suzaku wasn't saying anything instead he observed him and because those hawk like eyes never left him he drowned further and further into this paranoia.
"What's gotten into you...?"
"You're going to sort everything out again Lulu!"
The blonde yelled as she started to pick up the papers on the floor. Rolo apologized to Milly and bend down to the ground to help her gather the papers and it was then that he noticed that something was off with his older brother.
"Nii-san...?"
"Don't be too loud or..."
With his breath fastened and his heart pounding in his throat he raised his hand to his collar as if he tried to loosen it to breathe and with Rolo's comment he now gained everyone's full attention.
"Are you alright...?"
"Lulu...?"
His fingers never made it to his collar. He saw their worried looks together with the green eyed hawk that watched his every move however before he was able to do anything a soft beep started to develop in his ears and it slowly blocked out his hearing as the corners of his eyes started to turn black and slowly dipped his vision to complete darkness. There was one line he was able to make out as he felt himself fall backwards.
"Nii-san!"
This was the cry his younger brother was giving him as the feeling in his limps disappeared and his vision turned to complete black.
The moment I lay eyes on you it felt as if all those feelings tightened around my heart as they began the squeeze out something that I couldn't bare reveal in your presence. In that moment it felt as if you whispered those words into my ears, the words that lay bare a truth that only existed within my heart and dreams. A truth formulated by our hands, lips and passion.
"I think he's coming by..."
"Lulu, can you hear us...?"
"Give him some room... back off, back off!"
He slowly regained feeling in his limps and he recognised the voices around him. The voices were still too loud though and somehow he still felt extremely tired but even so he forced his eyes open and with a dazed look stared up to the ceiling, he slowly waited as the dizziness in his head cleared and he was able to make out worried faces hanging over him. It was only then that he realised that he was lying on the floor, something was put under his head and then he finally figured out what had happened. He had passed out. Rolo was sitting at his side together with Rivalz, they both waited for him to say something and he moved his head to the side so he could see them in full view.
"Nii-san, are you alright...? Say something..."
His little brother said in such a worried tone that it made him smile, he turned his gaze upwards again and said in a quiet tone.
"I'll be alright, I'm just tired..."
"Aah, you had us worried sick! Lelouch... we thought that you needed an ambulance!"
Rivalz complained and he laughed at his comment. He placed his arm back and slowly sat up, Rolo was instantly at his side to support him and he grunted a little as he felt a soft sting in his back. Lying on the floor wasn't very comfortable and realised that he must have made a rough landing.
"I'm glad... For a moment I thought that you passed out because of me..."
That voice came to him by surprise and he flinched, the tension in his shoulders revealed to his little brother that he was on edge and Rolo looked at him before noticing how the calm eyes had been replaced by alertness and so he followed Lelouch's gaze towards the Knight of Rounds and by this confirmed his previous made speculation and was able to conclude that this was indeed Suzaku's fault, he however was only half able to understand why the former Prince was on edge.
"Suzaku..."
His voice came out like a frightened whisper and was unheard to those that stood around him all beside one person.
"Nii-san, I think we should go see the nurse..."
He nodded in return without even looking at his younger brother and eventually he was raised to his feet and left the classroom with him to the nurse's office. But they never went there and in the end the two were merely walking around through the empty hallways while one tried to clear his mind and the other was contemplating on what he should do about the situation.
"I think you should go home..."
Lelouch looked over his shoulder at his younger brother who was clinging onto his phone for some reason, the hangar swayed from left to right and he stared into his worried eyes before turning his vision forward once more, it was to look out of the window in front of him and onto the main square in front of the school.
"Thank you... Rolo"
He said in a quiet tone and there was a moment of silence and awkwardness. The unsure brother broke the silence by asking something that Lelouch didn't have an answer for and even if he knew the answer he probably wouldn't tell it to the innocent boy behind him.
"Why are you scared of Suzaku? You're friends right?"
"Yes... we're friends..."
Was his eventual answer followed by a sad sounding sigh, he was glad that Rolo couldn't see his face but didn't see that he was given a cold glare from behind. Rolo's hands tightened around his phone and he frowned as his annoyance grew.
"Could you tell everyone that I'm...?"
"Of course, nii-san"
Seeing you for the first time since months had been something that I was afraid of, as always I am still afraid to confront that which is still a part of the past and every time I have to remind myself that Zero is no longer there, Lelouch the Prince is no longer there either and all that remains now is a shell of made up lies and a mirror image of what you are supposed to be. I have to remind myself that you aren't the Lelouch I fell in love with and that this current image remains and is not replaced by my own desires. I have to put up with this charade with the weight of the world on my shoulders so that this cannot happen again. I still have to tell myself that you are not Zero and that your hands that were once stained with her blood are now clean even when I still see the blood dripping down your fingers.
"Why did you come here...?"
Came a question that expressed the hostility there was between the two soldiers. Rolo was tidying up the council room by putting the papers, which he and Lelouch had previously carried, in a nearby closet. He eyed the Knight of Rounds with a predatory glare as he walked to the closet with yet another box in his hands filled with files.
"You'll endanger the mission..."
Suzaku was standing near the window and watched as the three council members walked down the road towards the dorm area, he raised his hand and smiled when Shirley spotted him and turned around to face Rolo, who was now standing in front of the door with an attitude that demanded answers.
"My reasons... are personal"
Suzaku answered in a cold tone as he walked passed the undercover soldier, Rolo glared at him and then said in an enraged tone.
"Nii-san is suffering more than enough, with your presence you could endanger everything!"
His hands clung around the phone carrying the important hangar he was given once again.
"He's already moaning your name in his sleep! Does he really need to suffer more!"
Suzaku only listened to his words and looked over his shoulder with such a glare that it made Rolo freeze. To show that he really cared about Lelouch was something that he wasn't supposed to do and with this glare he simply shut his mouth and thought before he said anything else that could express his sympathy for the former Prince. His hands lowered and Suzaku opened the door, however before he was able to step into the hallway Rolo said one last thing to him.
"He's... dreaming of you... that's why he's on edge"
His tone revealed a taint of jealousy. Suzaku ignored this and closed the door behind him, leaving behind the boy with no past who had started to care about his target.
The next day everything seemed different, for the first time since months had he started following classes. Their classes had now been filled with strangers, no longer did they destroy his properties nor did they throw things at him or whisper behind his back for his heritage. No now it seemed that people were more afraid to talk to him because he now served the Emperor, a rank he received by doing something he still wasn't proud of, but those thoughts were left behind as he now ate his lunch with the rest of the council. Arthur was lying on the bench next to him and he was telling them now about Nina's new job and filled them in on his own new role as Knight of Rounds. He eyed Lelouch every now and then and saw that he was still estranged by his presence, it reminded him of what Rolo had told him the previous day.
"He's already moaning your name in his sleep! Does he really need to suffer more!"
It made him wonder if his presence was really getting in the way of Lelouch's new found happiness.
"Nina is doing well it seems..."
"Ne, Suzaku! What did Zero look like?"
He looked up, he had expected a question like that to be asked. It made him happy and yet sad because he couldn't be honest about it and most of all he had to answer it in the presence of the person behind the mask. It was as if he thought that it would bother the former Prince but as he quickly checked on him he realised that he was listening as well, his glance was however noticed and he could see Lelouch tense up. He ignored it and quickly laughed before answering a lie that he had implanted in his own automatism, it was the same answer he gave to every person who asked him this.
"You saw him right?! Was it an old man?"
"I did... but I'm not allowed to tell"
The excitement dropped and their lunch went on. Each talking about various subjects and having normal conversations. Normal was something uncommon to him and it was good for him to relive that because it made him feel like he was still partly human. Later that day he was wandering around the school, the hallways empty and the voices of teachings coming from the other side of the doors he passed. No one bothered to tell him what to do because he was already standing where he would still be standing in his future, there was no need for him to go to school but something had always clung to him about going.
"Stay in school, I was never able to finish it..."
These words were part of her last dying wish and he would fulfil it for her. All these memories clung to him and had made him the man who he was today. Those memories were precious to him, all of them even those he hated or those that were a mere illusion to mask the truth he hid in his heart. Memories of him and Lelouch, loving and caring for another on a degree that was so different from what it was now and as he thought about those words he found himself walking to the staircase that led him to the rooftop. The rooftop where he had uttered those three simple words.
"I love you..."
Three words that were the start of something beautiful and also the start of something deadly. It was later these three words that drove him over the edge when she lay there in front of him, her words being the last piece of kindness that he would take in his heart before turning it to stone. Three words that ended the serenity and that continued the deadliness he was about to confront. He pushed open the door towards the rooftop platform and could feel the wind passing through his hair, he closed his eyes as the sun blinded him and when he opened them again he took a deep inhale. He tried to forget those previous memories and it was only then that he noticed that he wasn't alone. He turned to his side and saw Lelouch sitting on the ground. He was looking up to him with a sense of confusion and Suzaku smiled at him before walking to the balcony's edge.
"Still skipping classes I see... you never change"
He said and tried to build up a conversation. The Lelouch here was not the Lelouch who had killed Euphemia and was not the Lelouch he had fallen in love with, even so he thought that he deserved a chance. It wasn't much that he was going to offer because he wouldn't allow himself to bond with the people around him.
"I see you are doing the same..."
Came a late reply and Lelouch got up to his feet, he grabbed his book and stood next to Suzaku to watch the view. Suzaku noticed that he was standing away from him with a fair distance and sighed quietly before asking him.
"How have you been doing...?"
"Fine, you...?"
He smiled at the awkwardness between them and turned to Lelouch before stepping closer to him. The distance between them shrunk but was still fair and Lelouch tensed up, his hands gripping the cover of his book. He tried to hide this by looking the other way, Suzaku didn't seem to notice it and merely looked out towards the scenery in front of him.
"You know I missed this view..."
Suzaku turned to him and his eyes widened at the sight of him. It was as if time was being slowed down and the Suzaku, who now looked at him, seemed different from the one he was just talking to. His face slightly flustered and his mouth revealing a sad smile before uttering three words to him. Three words that made his world crumble even if they expressed kindness and affection.
"I love you..."
"Is something wrong...?"
He blinked and in front of him was once again the Suzaku he knew and who was now looking at him with worry. His hand was raised to probably press against his forehead but he slapped it away before losing his balance. He fell backwards against the stone railing and collapsed on the floor where he tried to calm himself down.
"Don't be too loud or..."
"Lelouch..."
He put his hand against his mouth and closed his eyes as he muttered a mantra to himself in the hope that it would banish these demons.
"You're not real... you're not real... you're not real..."
But in a sense they were real. The memories in which he was lowered onto the silk bed and in which he looked up from his naked position towards the person that was about to make love to him, Kururugi Suzaku was making love to him. It was him whom he had kissed and him whom he had shared a moment with in which they had both become one. Their sweat and breath being the only sounds that revealed the passion that what was between the two. He was crying out his name as their bodies entwined and it was him who had said those small three words: I love you. Suzaku had said them on the rooftop one day. He couldn't think of anything else, he didn't know how it happened and couldn't explain why. The only thing he still knew was the face Suzaku was giving him, it bared such sadness and yet such heart.
"You're not real... you're not real...!"
"Ooy...!"
He closed his eyes further as he forced those illusions out of his mind, Suzaku was shaking him and he was trying to push him away as tears ran down his face.
"Lelouch, look at me!"
He wasn't allowing himself to drown in this euphoria of touches, not now. Not again.
"Look at me!"
The sudden seriousness in his voice made him resurface to reality. His eyes snapped open and he gasped at the Suzaku in front of him. He was close, very close but he was also being worried. Suzaku took his hand and removed it from his mouth, it was then that he noticed that Suzaku's other hand was pressed against his face and somewhere he wondered when the touches had stopped burning.
"No... I..."
He was able to mutter out as he looked into those hawk like eyes and slowly he could feel himself being drawn forward, drawn towards those eyes and lips and before realising it they kissed. At first it was nothing more than a soft peck and he was shocked by his own actions. It had started with something innocent and progressed to something passionate when the Japanese dug forward and kissed him harder and much to his own surprise did he do the same. As if something had awakened deep inside him did he kiss him back, he pushed forward passed those lips and into Suzaku's mouth where they resumed their actions, their teeth clashing and tongues entwining. His own hands rose up to touch Suzaku's chest and the Japanese had his hand leaning against the stone railing as they kissed. But realisation sunk in when Lelouch pulled the collar of his uniform open and he backed away. The two looked at each other with shock, one lying half on the ground and the other kneeling in front of him. Suzaku looked at the former Prince in front of him, his cheeks blushed and eyes flustered from what he had just done. Suzaku quickly got up his feet and tidied up his uniform. He didn't dare look down to the ground and quickly turned to leave.
"I'm sorry..."
He said before closing the door behind him, leaving the confused Prince behind.
"You do realise what you are doing, don't you?"
The Knight of Rounds remained quiet and simply sat still on one of the chairs as Villetta walked back and forth through the small room clearly enraged by his actions. They had seen him on the rooftop. The surveillance team sees everything and this for her was the last straw, the only problem still being that the person sitting there was a Knight of Rounds and so of higher rank than herself. Suzaku eyed Rolo from the corner of his eyes, the youth was sitting in the corner and was cleaning his fingernails with a knife. He looked as if he was about ready to murder him without hesitation nor regret and so Suzaku looked at Villetta again before answering her previously asked question.
"Of course I know what I'm doing..."
"Then you should know that you are endangering our mission! Suzaku you should know better than that!"
She yelled at him and now stood in front of him with her hands placed on her hips, but the young Knight wasn't intimidated by her actions and instead looked back with a cold glance before telling her.
"I think it's important for me to be close to him, since it is easier for me to recognise any change of behaviour... two eyes are better than one"
He didn't know why he answered like that, the words left his lips before he was able to think and she was shocked to hear those words. Rolo quickly got to his feet and yelled at him.
"Then what about that?!"
"About what...?"
The look that Suzaku was giving him said enough and with that he fell back on his seat. The knife hanging limply in his hands. Realisation struck him when Suzaku responded in such a tone that it seemed that this vulgar act was normal to him.
"I see..."
He realised that the relationship between must have been as lovers before Lelouch was even brainwashed. The hand around is knife tightened in anger, but went unnoticed by the other two.
"If something does happen I will be able to point out whether or not he's Zero in a flash... I know how Lelouch works after all"
"But why like this...?"
A cold stare was returned to him when he looked over his shoulder towards the so called younger brother. It was a face that hid what he was feeling inside, though he himself wasn't able to identify it because these feelings were new to him. He looked at Suzaku and asked him.
"Are you trying to get a second chance or something...?"
"I think our business here is done..."
Suzaku got up from his seat and grabbed his school bag. Rolo wouldn't have any of this and so he yelled at him now.
"What would you gain from this?!"
Suzaku stopped at the doorway and turned to Villetta, the woman was observing their behaviour carefully and decided not to interfere for her own safety. Also she was thinking about everything that had now happened and found her self rather shocked by this new discovery, it took her a while to set things right.
"If he does change to Zero, then I'll kill him... Zero will then die by my hands and I won't hesitate"
Suzaku said before walking out the door, Rolo followed swiftly and yelled at him as he stepped into the elevator.
"Answer me, Suzaku!"
The elevator doors closed, sealing out the noise from the other side and leaving the Knight on his own together with his mixed up feelings.
"Are you trying to get a second chance or something...?"
He didn't know. He didn't know why he pushed forward, he didn't know why he was feeling so revived when Lelouch looked at him with such an inviting look. He didn't even know why he had come back in the first place and why he was actually being kind to him after all that had happened.
His hands washed through his hair, draining out the remainders of foam and soap as he looked upwards, his eyes closed as water ran down his skin. This was definitely a perfect time for a long shower since they allowed him to think clearly. Rolo seemed upset about his decision, Villetta disagreed and he was certain that the other Knights of Rounds would act the same way as she did, but Lelouch. Sweet Lelouch who had once heard out his confession on the rooftop and who had accepted him in his life as a lover instead of a distant friend. However the distance between them remained as they hid their affection away in locked classrooms and late night meetings. There had always been a shield around the Prince's heart that never actually allowed him to be happy, he later found out that behind the shield lay a terrible secret labelled as Zero. It had been sweet Lelouch who had never allowed anyone to actually fall in love with him, but was this the reason why their lips had found each other once again that day on the rooftop? Was he trying to atone for a sin in which he wasn't able to bring him the happiness that he actually deserved? His eyes opened again and he sighed before turning the tap again. The water stopped flowing and he stepped out of the shower only to notice a sound coming from the main bedroom.
The room he had wasn't anything fancy, it was a standard dorm room that consisted of one spacious bedroom with windows on one side that on one end had his bed, a desk and a clothing closet and on the other side a living space area with a couch, coffee table and a small kitchen. There were three doors in this large room, one went to a small balcony, the other to the bathroom where he was currently in and this door was on the side where his bed was standing, the third was as people would call it his front door and was situated on the left side of the room where the living area was and right now there was someone knocking on his door. The stranger didn't seem to care that it was nearing 11:00 PM and that the Ashford dorm rule stated that all student were to return to their dorms at 9:30. Suzaku quickly walked over to the bed and pulled on some pants, he was glad that this room wasn't being watched with hidden cameras, because he found it rather embarrassing to walk around nude while being watched from all angles. With his pants on and a towel still in his hair he walked over to the door, he first checked through the door viewer to see who it was knocking on his door at this hour and was rather surprised when he saw Lelouch stand on the other side. He quickly opened the door with one hand and the former Prince looked up in surprise, as he hadn't expected Suzaku to open for him at all. He remained still and avoided the Knight's eyes, something that confused Suzaku but then he had to remind himself of what had happened on the rooftop. The Lelouch before him was not the Lelouch he once knew and he had to make sure that it stayed that way.
"What is it, Lelouch?"
He asked in a calm tone but the person in front of him didn't answer instead he looked down the hallway next to him and quietly asked the Knight.
"Aren't you going to let me in...?"
A tone filled with what Suzaku could describe as caution and he stepped aside to let Lelouch inside, but he didn't move and instead looked at the ground before saying.
"I'm sorry..."
It felt as if a brick was forming where his stomach was located. The former Prince folded his arms, his hands gripping onto the black uniform as he still expressed no intention to step into his dorm nor did he, as Suzaku noticed, show any form of courage to look him in the eyes.
"I'm sorry if I offended you... I... I didn't know what-"
"At leased come inside"
The tone of his voice surprised Lelouch and he finally looked up, his shoulders lost a little of the tension he was feeling and Suzaku grabbed him by the arm before dragging him inside. Less than a minute later he was sitting on the couch, his back turned towards Suzaku who was buttoning up a white shirt before getting him something to drink. A glass of water was set in front of him on the coffee table, Suzaku didn't have much to drink because he was always gone on a mission for the Emperor and because he still had no time to go shopping for goods.
"I'm sorry..."
Lelouch mumbled again as he sat down next to him, he looked at him and it was his eyes that made his heart sank. They were filled witch such confusion and he bit his lip before closing his eyes reminding himself that this couldn't become reality. He wasn't allowed to relive this happiness, he couldn't do this.
"We shouldn't do this..."
He said as he looked over his other shoulder, away from the former Prince he loved so dear. The sweet Prince he had made love to in so many ways. The Prince whom he had confessed to and whom he had kissed so passionately could never experience true love again because it wasn't allowed. It was to protect him from a shadow that followed him without being noticed. He looked at Arthur who jumped on his bed before curling up like a ball.
"I understand... Your job it could be dangerous if they knew"
His tone was like a sad melody of regret and Suzaku turned to him but remained silent. There were no words that could say in a situation like this because to him it was hard because to him it was as if he was saying goodbye to everything he gone through with the former Prince. The secret meetings, the notes, the whispers and their get-togethers on the rooftop they would only be remembered by him and no one else, they would only remind him of what he could never have.
"I promise you. This will never happen again..."
Lelouch looked at him, his eyes red and most likely ready to shed more tears. The tears came eventually and several of them dropped down to stain his uniform with small dark dots. Suzaku looked at him, his eyes lingering to Lelouch's left eye which had turned back to what it was.
"I promise, Suzaku"
Lelouch's hand was raised and pressed against his own chest, his eyes drawn to the floor as he said something that caused shivers to run down Suzaku's spine.
"I think..."
Suzaku noticed that his hand was shaking.
"We shouldn't see each other anymore... I don't know why, Suzaku. You make me feel so strange..."
His cheeks were red, it wasn't from crying and the tone of his voice as well. They reminded him of someone. They reminded him of himself.
"Lelouch... Is there anyone you like...?"
This paranoia was the cause of something that he was only now able to recognise.
"I love you..."
"Every time I hear your voice, every time that it is even mentioned it feels as if... as if I'm drowning..."
It was love.
"It feels as if I'm drowning in you... that's why when you showed up all of a sudden I..."
The paranoia and fear that was sweeping through the former Prince's veins were comparable to something he had witnessed before. Shirley Fenette was for a long period terrified of Lelouch because there was something about him that made her paranoid, her sudden change of personality and attitude towards him could only be blamed on the use of geass as he later figured out. She felt afraid because her instincts were acting up and they were telling her to be cautious. In what way could this situation be similar to that? Were the dreams Rolo had mentioned awakened by his instinct and love for him?
"I'm sorry Suzaku..."
"He's already moaning your name in his sleep! Does he really need to suffer more!"
How could he leave him like this? How could he deny something that was so similar to fate. No, this was fate.
"I just don't know what to-"
His heart was making this fate.
"I know..."
Lelouch looked at him as he leaned towards the other side. He placed his hands on the sand brown sofa and leaned forward, the former Prince remained unmoving as he came closer to him and with that closed the gab that had been between them. It had been fate, it must have been fate. Lelouch's heart was calling out to him through the memory filled seal that was placed upon him, it was calling out to him to not leave him behind.
"Lelouch... Is there anyone you like...?"
Lelouch tried to move away from him and leaned against the opposite side of the sofa, his hands rose to defend himself and they grabbed Suzaku's shoulders.
"Is that why you called me here...?"
The Knight kissed him and could feel the protest coming from the other side, he could feel that Lelouch's lips were pressed together, sealing all access from him to make any other moves and he placed one hand underneath the Britannian's chin before separating from him and looking him into his eyes.
"No, there is no one I really like here"
"Stop..."
"But Shirley?"
He said in a quiet tone, his cheeks flared red and his eyes expressing the opposite of what he had just said. They didn't say stop, instead they expressed the former Prince's deepest desire, they wanted to be loved.
"She is a fool, she doesn't know anything about me... the real me I mean..."
"Why...?"
He asked and noticed how the hands around his shoulders slowly released their grip on his uniform. They were removed an inch from his skin, floating above it as if they were holding onto something that wasn't there.
"I see..."
Leaning forward he kissed his neck. His hand pushing the chin upwards as he left a trail of kisses there, the mouth above let lose a soft moan as he pressed his mouth against he porcelain skin, letting his tongue sweep against the soft warm surface as he sucked before separating himself from the skin to repeat the action just a little lower.
"If there anyone you like then tell me. Do you want me to introduce you or do you need advice?"
He wouldn't stop, he wouldn't deny this and crop it away in some dark corner to watch his friend drown in his own paranoia. He won't make the same mistake twice.
"I..."
"Suzaku... stop"
The way his name was being called, an urging way as if he really mattered and as if he was so important that without him the world would cease to exist, he had missed that tone. He hadn't heard that tone for over a year now.
"Suzaku..."
"This will be trouble for you..."
Lelouch said to him as he leaned away. Still he was trying to deny it and still he was trying to crawl away from what was fate.
"..."
"No... I don't care"
"Why...?"
"Spit it out already!"
He was asked, but deep inside he already knew why he was being this stubborn. He wasn't going to lose him. Not twice.
"Because..."
"I love you..."
His lips moved to say those three little words. Three words that had stunned the Prince on the rooftop and now he was saying them again because no matter how cruel Lelouch had become he still loved him.
"What...?"
Lelouch looked at him and his eyes showed the confusion and surprise, for a moment he could see him again. The Suzaku who had confessed to him on the rooftop that afternoon, it was on an afternoon when it seemed that everything was in place, the yellow sky seemed to give those green eyes a somewhat distinct glow when he said those words. His face showing a remainder of sadness and yet courage for taking the chance to say these simple words.
"You heard me..."
His hands lowered down and were gently placed against the Knight's shoulders, no longer did they struggle to get him off and no longer was he being pecked at and kissed.
"You love... me?"
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His heart was beating so fat right now, it felt as if it was going to jump out of his chest if he didn't say anything.
"Yes..."
But he couldn't understand it and without realising it returned the same response in the form of a question. The same question he had asked him that afternoon on the rooftop when he heard those same three words for the first time.
"Why...?"
Suzaku wasn't moving, he wasn't planning on getting of him and his eyes stunned him. The eyes of a hawk that were not to leave his prey. The Japanese took Lelouch's hand and placed it against his chest, Lelouch was shocked to feel a same beating sensation that was so loud that he could feel it against his own hand.
"Your heart..."
He said and blinked when he felt more tears drip down his face. He laughed at the irony of it and whipped them away with his lose hand.
"But Suzaku..."
Suzaku leaned forward again, this time not to kiss him but to whisper something in his ears.
"If it is Lelouch, then everything will be alright... If it's you then I will never give up"
He wasn't sure what these words meant, but Suzaku placed another kiss behind his ear, one that was longer than the kisses he had received in his neck and he gasped softly when he felt a hand making its way up from the bottom of his uniform jacket, his fingertips running down the bare skin of his stomach.
Their mouths found one another again and the same sensation he once felt on the rooftop was returning to him. A strange need was surfacing, a need to touch, to kiss and to see what was under that mass of clothing that right now seemed in the way of everything he did. Suzaku's hands were removed from his stomach and unbuttoned the black uniform. the white shirt underneath didn't matter and was opened by force, several buttons flying across the coffee table and one of them landing in the untouched glass of water, sinking to the bottom to rest as pale hands made their way across his own shirt. Unlike his own method did they take each button one by one, the hands stopped in the middle to remove the former Prince's excessive clothing.
How can I give up on you. For over a year I had to watch from a distance and had to live with the guilt that I was never able to love you enough. This is my atonement, this is my sin. I will love you like I did then and I will protect you. I will make sure that your shadow and mask remain in their current place. I won't lose you again.
His slender back was rolled out on the white sheeted bed. His fingers still clinging onto the Knight's shoulder as he looked up at him. His eyes showed a certain discomfort, but were quickly distracted when the Japanese crawled over him like a predator and kissed him as if he was about to kill him. He allowed him access to his mouth and obeyed silently as the tanned hands ran down his chest, carefully caressing each feature he had. They ran down his hips before they unbuttoned the last garments that were ready to be disposed.
"Suzaku..."
He said in an embarrassing tone as the Knight looked him over before removing the last two borders that stood in his way. He wasn't surprised to find the former Prince in erect, he wasn't ashamed because he knew his body well. More than Lelouch would ever know. He leaned forward and trailed his tongue over the pale chest, the body below him shuddered and he ran his hand up his inner thigh. His hand took the erected member and caressed. He smiled as he felt the body underneath him squirm and looked up to see Lelouch's face.
"It's okay..."
He said before kissing him again. He had to remind himself that the Lelouch before him wasn't the Lelouch he once knew. He probably thought that this was his first time and probably never thought of having sex this way. The former Prince moaned as his hand continued, the precum getting between his fingertips as he licked his chin and as his hand sped up the pace and the moans became more frequent the former Prince came. His hand was stained with the sperm that was released and he raised it before licking it off his fingertips. After a year he wondered if it still tasted the same, it was stupid because of course the taste didn't change.
"I love you..."
I will protect you against that witch.
Story 03: The heart asks for pleasure first.
Extra chapter 01: Flashback
He remembered everything. Amongst the ruins inside the Babel Tower did he rise from the ashes like a phoenix from rebirth. He remembered everything. The two pulled triggers and missed shots, the way Suzaku had jumped him and had kicked the gun out of his hand before grabbing by the throat and pushing him back against the cold stone. The gun in his hand pointed towards the half blood behind him as he yelled out words that made him realise something.
"This is Lelouch! The man who used the Japanese and you!"
He tried to grab his hand as the small bomb on his chest was forcibly removed. Suzaku's voice was filled with anger at the time and unseen to Kallen were his eyes filled with regret.
"Do you want to protect this kind of man?!"
As the bomb clattered on the floor several feet away from them and as her footsteps started to fade away in the distance did he notice the tears in Suzaku's eyes when he stood before him. Tears of denial because this man couldn't be Zero. This was the man he loved and vowed to protect, he was the very reason why he was fighting in the first place and now he was his greatest enemy. From the moment that Euphemia was murdered had he vowed that he would defeat him, friend or lover it didn't matter and now the mask had fallen and the Prince had lost. His smile was formed out of irony, irony that things had turned out the way that he had expected it, but what had followed had always remained a shock to him. That was the night he was thrown onto the ground in front of his Father's throne.
"You ask for a reward for capturing Zero?"
His face was pressed against the ground and the hand in his hair was holding onto him so tightly that it hurt. The voice that had once cried out his name in passion had now turned into an emotionless void as he spoke.
"I told you before, Lelouch. I want to change the world from within..."
"By selling out your friend to get promoted?!"
He had yelled even as he knew that it was a lost effort, but he did it to put more salt on Suzaku's wounds.
"That's right..."
He listened as Suzaku was given the position of Knight of Rounds. There was no use to struggle, the only thing he could do was wait for the opportune moment and hope that Suzaku would make a mistake.
"Seal Zero's left eye..."
Suzaku did as he was asked and with this his chance had blown away. He struggled not to move too much, the pain in his back was still bearable but only for the moment.
"You were once a Prince, yet you started a rebellion against me... You unworthy halfwit"
At that time he was actually afraid that he was going to die.
"But I still have use for you..."
He watched as the Emperor stood before him and was surprised when he saw something he wasn't able to foresee in the past. The eyes of his Father were surrounded by the same cursed wings that he carried in his own left eye. Geass
"What...?"
"I'll rewrite your memories... About the fact that you were Zero, about Marianne, about Nunnally..."
He had started to shake at those mentions because it confirmed his fears. The man before him also had geass and he was ready to use it on him.
"Forget about everything and become a normal human..."
He was afraid.
"Stop! Are you going to take everything away from me again?! Mother and even Nunnally...?!"
His visible eye was forced open by Suzaku's fingers and he watched in terror as the man he once called Father announced the spell that had once sealed his memories.
"Charles di Britannia shall engrave your new, false memories!"
By that he had screamed and had watched as everything was shattered to pieces. His mother, Nunnally. The memories of him as Zero and the memories he had shared with Suzaku. Everything was gone up until now and only now did he realise what had happened to him afterwards.
"Suzaku... stop"
The fake lifestyle he had been living. The fake brother that was hanging around him and then the Knight who had showed up one day to mess up his entire life once again.
"It's okay..."
His cheeks burned up as he remembered how innocent he had acted that day. He was snapped back to reality when C.C. said something to him from behind.
"Did something good happen while I was gone...?"
He closed his eyes and sighed because there were more important things at hand that required his full attention.
Story 03: The heart asks for pleasure first.
Extra chapter 02: Take everything
About a week after his memories had returned Suzaku returned to school. There was something different about him because Suzaku was always looking at him like a hawk. He knew why he was looking at him, it was because Zero had returned back to the stage and the Japanese was too confused to figure out if this new Zero was the Prince or not. He wasn't about to let it go and stayed in his role, their relationship was still secret and he hated acting like someone who was completely new to relationships but he bared with it, he had to. And every time Suzaku hawked him he merely looked back and smiled before asking him if there was something wrong or if he wanted something, sometimes Suzaku would then take him apart to kiss him as if he was hawking him because he was horny or as they put it 'in the mood' but it wasn't like this and Lelouch of course knew all along and played the role that was given to him. He was more worried about Rolo, because even though he had promised that in the future it would just be the two of them, he realised that the younger brother was being quite nervous around him. The evening of the festival for Suzaku he was standing on the rooftop over seeing the dancing couples below as he talked to Xingke on the phone. He had just put the phone in his pocket when Suzaku walked up to him and he smiled.
"The main character should be on the main stage..."
He said in a friendly tone, but Suzaku said to him as he walked up. He found it strange that Suzaku wasn't making a move on him.
"No... Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves..."
Instead of walking up to stand close to him he seemed more distant, but the Prince remained quiet and decided to observe his actions. He stood away from him as he spoke in a determined manor, it reminded him of how Suzaku talked when he was going on about what was best for the world.
"And I wanted to tell you something..."
He stepped towards the stone balcony and leaned his chin on his hand as he watched the Knight who continued to talk on about becoming Knight of One. When the Japanese said that he would pick Japan as his wished area when he would receive the status Knight of One he turned to him in surprise, because he didn't know about this. He didn't care much about it either, he found the idea rather stupid because Suzaku was still too light hearted to ever get to that rank, it would take him many years to get to that point.
"I lost a great friend... and an irreplaceable woman. To prevent me from losing anyone else, I will obtain that power so that the Japanese people won't need Zero anymore..."
He know who the persons were that he was talking about, he was talking about Euphemia and himself, because he knew how suspicious Suzaku was about him and how personal he could get when it came to Euphemia. He smiled at him to show him that he would stand behind his decision and dreams before responding with words that equalled his intellect.
"An indirect rule isn't it? You aim for a protectorate?"
He watched as Suzaku took his cell phone and became confused when he responded to him.
"This person has the answer to that..."
The Japanese dialled a number and as his fingers ran over the buttons he said.
"The new governor of Area 11 who will take office next week"
Was that who he was calling?
"A mere student like me can talk to the governor...?"
Suzaku ignored him completely, he waited until the phone was handed to him and complained to Suzaku about him getting in trouble as he turned around to talk to the governor.
"Hello... Onii-sama?"
He was left in shock when the voice of his younger sister echoed through the receiver.
"It's you isn't it, onii-sama? It's me, Nunnally! I'm heading there to become the governor!"
He couldn't talk let alone breathe. If he talked then Nunnally would recognise him and he didn't want to lie to her, but with Suzaku standing behind him like a hawk what was he to do? Suzaku was testing him. Suzaku knew that if his memories were indeed restored he would know who Nunnally was. He cursed the Knight of Rounds behind him and had still found no words to say. He couldn't lie, not to her.
"You're not my brother, are you?"
He looked over his shoulder towards Suzaku and smiled before noticing that Rolo was standing behind the two of them and with that a spark of hope glowed up. The young youth put up his hand to signal him that he had five second and he saw the right eye glow up and with that he saw his chance. When Suzaku was frozen in spot did he thank him and quickly reply to his younger sister who was still calling out to him on the phone.
"Listen, Nunnally..."
"It is you, after all!"
He was happy to hear her voice, but knew that there was a time limit to how long Suzaku could be frozen.
"I must pretend to be a stranger right now... it's a necessity, please play along with me! I will come to get you, I swear it!"
He watched as the fingers slipped down one by one, he was running out of time.
"So... until then... until then... I love you, Nunnally!"
And with that his the geass had faded and Suzaku continued to hawk him as he put up another fake act. He didn't want to do it this way but there was no other chance. He turned to Suzaku with a casual expression as he said to her.
"I think you have the wrong person... yes, I'm just a student"
This caused great confusion to the Knight because he was sure that Lelouch's memories had returned. When he first saw Zero again his heart sank and he knew that somehow the old Lelouch had returned, but without any evidence he wasn't able to prove this theory and had returned to Japan to figure this out by himself. He was now using his cover to try and find any mistakes, he regretted this but he also kept to his word.
"If he does change to Zero, then I'll kill him... Zero will then die by my hands and I won't hesitate"
He would rather kill him himself than let anyone else take his head, a part of him was telling him that it would hurt less if he did it himself.
"Yes, I'm sorry..."
They continued to talk and eventually he gave the phone back to Suzaku. It was a dirty trick of him, but at leased now he knew where Nunnally was. The only thing he now needed to do was getting to her.
"Goodbye..."
He leaned against the stone balcony again and looked down at the dancing couples, his mind was thinking all sorts of things at once but he had to put up his act.
"Was that really the new governor? She sounded so young"
Suzaku still glared at him but those eyes quickly faded as his guard was slowly lowered again. He had lived through another one of his acts but this one wouldn't go unpunished.
"She was asking if I was her older brother..."
He wanted Suzaku to talk. He wanted him to tell him something that he could use but the Knight walked forward the stand next to him and together they looked down at the dancing couples.
"I'm sorry... I can't discuss these things with you, they are..."
He sighed before finishing Suzaku's lines with an annoyed tone.
"Classified, I know..."
He looked at Suzaku for a moment and smiled, the Japanese noticed this and raised an eyebrow at this action.
"What...?"
He asked and Lelouch leaned backwards, his hands still holding onto the stone railing as he answered while looking up towards the sky.
"Tonight... can I stay over at your place?"
Suzaku noticed the light blush on his cheeks and turned his vision down again to the dancing couples before responding.
"Of course..."
What followed was something he felt he needed deep inside. The door closed with a loud slam before he was being pushed against the wooden structure. Their mouths linked aggressively as both their hands removed the obnoxious clothing that stood in their way. He gasped when he was raised from the ground, his legs half wrapped around Suzaku's hips as the Knight already satisfied his erection with one hand while the other was keeping him up.
"You bastard..."
The precum was used to puncture him through with two fingers and he moaned as the hand now fingered him. It wasn't like before, it wasn't passion and beauty no this was a need, this was a combination of rage and simple hormones. It was just a role he was still playing and deep inside also enjoying because he needed this, at leased this way he could make Suzaku pay.
"Suzaku..."
"I will take everything from you..."
He moaned and his hands gripped his shoulders when he knew Suzaku was ready to penetrate him completely and yelped when it happened. His fingers rasping over the tanned skin, creating small slits that spread out blood.
"I will make you pay for taking her from me..."
He cried out when Suzaku pushed him against the wooden door again, time after time.
"I will make certain that you want to die... Suzaku"
Until finally he came.
"I will kill you..."
Story 03: The heart asks for pleasure first.
Extra chapter 03: Because we're siblings
He watched as the thick red liquid ran across the floor. His eyes filled with a haze as the person before him rose to his feet, his hands and clothes stained with the blood of the person on the floor before him. He was dead.
"Why... why can't you give me what I want?!"
It was the only place where he could yell and scream without anyone finding out. In the underground library he was, for the first time, screaming and cursing at his brother who was sitting in one of the chairs, in one of his hands he was swinging a chess piece around as he watched him walk around and responded to him in a cold tone.
"Because we're siblings"
Rolo turned to him again and screamed.
"I hate it! I hate it when you go to him and fuck him as if it is alright!"
Uncertainty hit him because these feelings were all new to him. He placed his hand against his chest as if it could calm down his still raging heart after all he had to be careful with it.
"It... hurts..."
With that Lelouch got up from his seat and walked over to him, he embraced him and sighed before trying to reassure his little brother.
"I know... but you have to pull through..."
He said with quiet words as his hand ran small circles on Rolo's back.
"Why... why can't you just break up or something!"
His eyes narrowed and his hand stopped making circles for a moment as he said in a much colder tone.
"Because I want to make him pay..."
"And yet you won't let me kill him..."
He knew what Rolo wanted, he knew it right from the start. The way he was acting and how he made himself dependable to him. But he also knew that he would never return those feelings, because like Suzaku did he hate Rolo as well. Rolo was just a mere tool he kept on his side because he was too dangerous to have as an opponent.
"Because that will cause trouble for both of us"
It was too late now though. One moment ago they were still standing, all three of them.
"I hope you don't mind Rolo..."
He almost forgot what the conversation was about because he was still angry deep inside. In an act of rage had he used his gift and had he stabbed the knife forward before ripping it out to the side. The blood spewed over him as his geass wore off and as he caught his breath he watched Kururugi Suzaku fall forward.
"Suzaku!"
Lelouch dove forward and turned the Knight, for someone who hated Suzaku's guts he seemed very shocked to see him in this condition and as he turned him around he glared at Rolo with such hate that it didn't even bother him, because Rolo knew what his response would be and was already looking at the scene before him with such a haze that it didn't even matter anymore.
"Nii-san... do you love me?"
He had asked him while he was still being embraced, Lelouch hugged him tighter and said an obvious answer.
"Yes... Rolo"
He then looked up and asked him something that caused the Prince the take one step back.
"Then will you kiss me?"
Lelouch's arms were on his shoulders and the phone with the precious hangar was in his hands. He waited for an answer and frowned slightly.
"I'm sorry..."
Before Lelouch could make another move he used his geass and stepped forward as he mentally counted the amount of seconds he had. He kissed him, it wasn't much of a kiss but it was good enough for him because he already knew, Lelouch would never love him.
"Because we're siblings, right?"
The knife dropped from his hands as Lelouch cried out his name, Suzaku smiled at him and for the first time had he seen Lelouch actually cry. The hard shield that contained the pride Lelouch always showed to those around him had now fallen and Rolo couldn't believe that the Prince was still holding onto him.
"I was right... wasn't I?"
Suzaku asked him with his last words before turning completely quiet. With that the needle in his eye was gone. Lelouch released to still warm corpse which fell back onto the ground with a thud before he got up to his feet. He looked down at the Japanese with his back turned to Rolo before saying.
"You did well... Rolo"
But his tone said enough because it wasn't enough to hide his sadness. Lelouch turned around and slowly walked away from the scene, step by step and with that left the younger brother behind who remained unmoving. Until at some point after Lelouch had left he also fell on the ground, his heart was broken and had stopped beating.
"I love you..."
He would never hear those words and that was what pained his already fragile heart. Geass had made it fragile enough to now break.
"Because we're siblings, right?"