Well, here it is. Sorry it took so long.
Dib opened his eyes, and looked around.
He was in a perfectly white, spherical room, seated on a oddly comfortable crescent shaped metal chair.
He tried to collect his thoughts. He had been in Zim's living room, Skoodge had yelled at him, he had heard voices, two enormous, black, beetley looking things had appeared, and now he was sitting in this white room.
A noise roused Dib from his thoughts.
A voice, seemingly inside the wall opposite him, said "Ziri y'vizigs'zyov."
A panel slid open in the wall, and an alien stepped out of it.
Dib trembled in his seat: Some enormous reptile with claws and fangs was advancing towards him, some awful look on it's face.
In reality, Scly was smiling at him friendly.
"Twiwip!" He said, smiling wider, and exposing curving serrated teeth.
Dib trembled furiously. He would have wet his trench coat, if he hadn't gone to the bathroom before chasing Tak.
Scly arched an eyebrow and leaned in closer, and Dib backed up as closes as he could to his chair.
Scly realized what was going on, and walked back through the entry.
Dib sighed, thinking the alien had spared him.
His relief vanished when the alien came back with a syringe full of some black fluid, and was so stunned by this that he didn't struggle when it was stuck in his arm stuck it in his arm.
He looked down at it, briefly wondered why it didn't hurt, and concluded that he was dreaming and that it obviously wouldn't hurt. He considered pinching himself, but decided not to, as he couldn't move his arms.
A weird tingling sensation spread up his arm, and into his head, defying his blood flow. Suddenly his head started stinging like crazy, and he realized he wasn't asleep.
He began to struggle, fighting the alien, "Aaack! Get off me! HELP!"
"H'gilik h'gifittov'rimit!" Scly snapped back, trying to pin Dib down.
Abruptly, the pain in Dib's head vanished, and Scly froze, dropping him.
Dib leapt to his feet, and flattened himself against the wall, breathing heavily.
Scly remained frozen there for a second, before snapping back to reality, and looking at Dib again.
"P-Please don't eat me." Dib pleaded.
A look of severe annoyance crossed Scly's face, "Eat you! Why on Introa would I want to eat you!? Every species we come across thinks we're going to eat them! It's ridiculous! Like… the Hydustar! Enormous, blue things with spikes, and they begged us not to kill them! I was worried they were going to eat me!"
Dib really had nothing to say to this.
Scly, seeing Dib was too confused to ask questions, cleared his throat, and said, "Well, let me bring you up to speed. You are our example of the human race, currently aboard the N.A.S. Victory for evaluation. Everything you say or do will be compiled as typical human behavior, unless our field agents were right, and you are atypical. So far, I've determined that humans are afraid of large reptilian carnivores. Would you agree with this statement?"
"Uh, y-yes." Dib stuttered, "But, how can you speak English? And why didn't you before?"
"Well, that tube full of stuff actually contained several million microscopic robots that attached themselves to your memory centers, ran a copy of your language, sent it to my microscopic robots, and are now floating through your bloodstream." Scly said, as if all this was perfectly normal. "Incidentally," he continued, "did you know there are three spots on your brain that have been magnetized clean?"
Dib nodded.
"Who did that?"
"Zim… and Gaz the other two times."
"Is Gaz the green one with the red eyes?"
"No, that's Zim. Gaz is my sister:"
"Your sister passed high levels of electric current through your brain?" Said Scly, arching an eyebrow.
"Yeah. The first time she was getting revenge on me testing my cure for Alzheimer's disease on her. The second time she was just angry." Dib said plaintively.
"What is Alzheimer's disease?" Scly continued, a little nervous about her interview.
"A mental disorder that causes memory loss."
"You'd think she'd be happy about you trying to cure her."
"Well, yeah… and it did work… 'course I don't remember it now… but I had to give it to her to test it…" Dib said, trailing off.
"You gave your sister a mental disease?"
"That was back when I had stopped fighting Zim, and I was working with my dad for the sake of 'real' science." Dib responded indignantly, putting enormous amounts of regret and self loathing into the word 'real'.
"…And you fight Zim?"
"Yes. He wants to do something evil to the earth."
"Something evil?"
"It varies from day to day. See, he's an invading life form. Usually he wants to enslave mankind, but it varies. He's tried to exterminate humanity, destroy the earth and enslave humanity, destroy the earth and humanity, suck humanity's brains out, drown humanity with an enormous fishbowl, poison our meat supply,
destroy the surface of the earth with a nuclear hammering machine, destroy the earth in a nuclear explosion, destroy the earth by having it hugged--- or was that his fault? I can't remember exactly."
"Uh-huh. And don't your fellow humans try to stop him?"
"I'm the only one who notices him. Well, Gaz knows, but she doesn't care."
"He sounds fairly incompetent."
"He is. GIR doesn't help either. If I didn't fight him, he might be able to do it, which is why I give him the effort."
"And what about the other green one?"
"Irkens, they're called Irkens. Tak is pretty smart. I couldn't do a thing against her without Zim screwing up her plans."
"But if they're both Irkens, why don't they work together to conquer the earth?"
"Zim ruined her life or something. I don't remember the details… he was her janitor, or something like that. I only snuck a quick look at her flashback."
"Her fl--- never mind. If Zim is so stupid, why doesn't everyone notice him."
"Utter lack of common sense. They just can't cope with anything outside of their world view, unless it's blatantly obvious. I have hope for my species, but sometimes they just make me wonder. We've done some of the smartest and dumbest things imaginable. Like ignoring me! Zim's standing there without a nose and everyone calls me crazy! Oh but they'll see. One day, I'll be famous, and then they'll be the ones who get teased, and get wedgies and I'll be there, rich and famous, and I'll rub it in their faces!" Dib screamed, jumping on his chair and punching at the ceiling. Realizing that he had an audience, he blushed, and sank back into his chair.
"Is the desire for revenge common amongst humans?" Scly asked, after a moment.
"…Yes."
Scly paused for a moment, "Why did you notice Zim?"
"Well I… don't know. I think it comes from my dad. We want to know, to discover. To see and do what nobody else has ever done. I probably would have been an explorer if I had been born earlier."
"Poetic."
"Thank you."
"Well, their's just one more thing. The environment we're sitting in is completely moldable to your thought's. I want you to picture an idyllic environment for yourself."
Dib closed his eyes, and did what he was told.
The stark white room transformed into a gently sloping hill with a small pond at it's foot, surrounded by similar hills and ponds. Small clusters of trees stood up in the landscape, the air was a comfortable seventy degrees, and poofy white clouds floated up in a blue sky.
Dib sighed and leaned against a tree.
"Nice meeting you."
"Likewise."
Scly steeped out of existence, leaving Dib to relax.
Whoo, my first author's notes! Anyways, I want a minimum of three reviews before the next chapter. So Review. DO IT. The review button tempts you...