Scly checked on the status of his 'guests' as he walked down the hall.
Dib was still resting, he didn't want to look at Gaz, Zim was still attacking his door, and Tak was trying to find a blind spot on her guard's sensor sweep.
Chuckling as the machine delivered a mild shock into Tak's torso after she tried to get a laser blast through it, Scly advanced towards door number five.
He stepped into the antechamber as the computer searched the room for threats. Something odd was happening, but nothing dangerous, so the computer let him through.
The lights had been turned off, and replaced by a multi-faceted metallic sphere situated on a small dancing robot. The robot was wearing an enormous sombrero (with a hole for his antenna), a white leather jacket, a plaid kilt, and high heels. At the same time, he was riding a small furry creature that smelled bad, while singing a song about some bologna he owned to the tune of the Peanuts theme song. To summarize it: Utter randomness.
Scly just stood there, completely undecided about how to respond to this rather disturbing scene, while the robot continued his dance.
Eventually the robot noticed Scly, and stuffed all the stuff into his head rather embarrassedly. He was quiet for a few seconds, then pleaded; "Please don't tell Zim. The last time I danced he got REEAAL mad."
"Y-You're a robot?" Scly said, deciding that he didn't want to know anything about what he was doing.
"Yep! My name's GIR! What's you're name?"
"Uh, Scly. What does GIR mean?"
"SIR stands for standard issue-information-retrieval unit. What does Scly mean?" GIR asked brightly.
"Well, it's a Cumethi name meaning 'one who possesses long wings'. But, what does the G stand for?" Scly responded awkwardly.
"Ohh, it's a secret. I only told Mr. Monkey, and then his head blew up!"
"What?"
"And then we found out he was actually an emu, and he migrated to Peru, and he met his one true love, and she was an ostrich, and then they tunneled through the center of the earth to Australia, and then they became the first members of a species of Emostritches!"
"Okay…"
"You wanna see my chicken dance?"
"No thank you…"
"Aww, come on!"
"Please. No."
"Fine mister albino tortoise."
"What off Introa is that supposed to mean!?"
"It means you're grumpy! Mister grumpy tortoise…"
"I don't understand the non-marine turtle reference."
"You like peanut butter?"
"What is a peanut? And how do you milk it?"
"I don't know… do brown cows make grape juice?"
"I doubt it."
"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…" GIR lamented.
"Do you have a mouth? And a tongue?" Scly said leaning forward with interest.
"Yeah."
"But you're a robot! And you're made of metal! How can metal bend like that?"
"I don't know."
"Why don't you know anything?"
"'Cuz."
"'Cuz why?"
"SHUT UP AND BRING A BOX OF CHOCOLATE!"
"Give me a straight answer first!"
"GIMME A SHOVEL! I WANNA MAKE MASHED POTATOES!"
"NO!"
GIR leapt up on his chair, and started to spout some obscene language. His auto-censor kicked in, but Scly could pick out the words through lip reading.
"You are the most annoying thing I've ever met!" Scly yelled.
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
"No!"
"Why not!?"
"I already have a girlfriend!"
"Really?" GIR asked piteously.
"Well… not really."
GIR fell off of his seat shrieking in obscenely loud laughter.
Scly stood up, and turned to leave the room, seething in anger.
"Wait! Don't go yet!" GIR said.
"What could you possibly interest me with enough to keep me in this room?!"
As an answer, a very dirty Speedo flew in his face.
Well, I'm just gonna leave it at that.