A/N: Alright! Requiem is back!! Yay! Thank you guys for being so patient and awesome with me and my technical difficulties… you guys are the best! So, I'm pretty sure that after this chapter, you're going to have a LOT of questions but I purposely made things really vague… so I urge patience again :) I promise not to leave you guys high and dry… there's always a method to my madness :) Alright, enough chatter and on with the story… as always, happy reading and don't forget to leave a review!!

And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase…

"My Immortal" – Evanescence

Chapter 1 – Time

Johnny woke up in a cold sweat. His heart was pounding and his was completely out of breath.

Another nightmare.

He put his hand on his chest and took a few long breaths, thankful that he hadn't woken up screaming like he had last weekend. He had been having the same dream for weeks now and as hard as he tried to shake them, they just wouldn't go away. He managed to calm himself down and he looked over at the sleeping brunette beside him. At least he hadn't woken Brook up.

He quickly slipped out of bed and walked to the window, running his long fingers through his dark brown hair. He knew why he was having nightmares. He knew why he couldn't stop thinking of the worst day of his life. Tomorrow would mark the four year anniversary of the darkest day of his life.

"Johnny?"

He quickly turned towards the sound of his fiancée's voice. She was sitting up on the bed with the sheets gathered up to her chest and her weary eyes were filled with worry. Most men would've died for a chance to be with Brook Lynn Ashton. She was the music industry's golden child with her numerous multi-platinum CDs and she was the new face of Federico Cabrero, the hottest fashion designer of the moment. Her hair was mostly brown with some blond streaks that went along with her hard edge image. Naturally the tabloids had a field day when she was photographed with the enormous Tiffany's engagement ring at the Grammys last February and Johnny was told every single day that he was "very lucky" to have her. He managed to slap a smile on his face as he walked back over towards the bed. He reached out and curled a lock of her hair around her ear and she put her hand on his.

"Another nightmare?" she asked.

"Don't worry about it…" he muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed, and Brook let out an exasperated sigh.

"Don't do this to me, Johnny… don't shut down on me…" she said.

"I don't want you to worry about me, Brook…" he said.

"Johnny… I want to help you…" she said, putting her hand on his cheek.

"You can help me by dropping this…" he said, holding her hand.

"Johnny… I know what tomorrow is… it's been four years since Au—" she started but he shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about it…" he said quickly, cutting her off.

He couldn't allow himself to go there. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to remember how it felt to have his heart ripped from his chest. He had spent the last four years trying to numb the pain of such an insurmountable loss and he never wanted to reopen that wound ever again.

"Johnny, I love you… I love you more than I can possibly say… and I know that as hard as you try not to show it, you're in pain." Brook said.

"I'm fine… I promise…" he said, attempting to silence her with a kiss but she knew better.

"Alright, I'll drop it… for now… but if you have another nightmare…" Brook started.

"I won't… now go back to sleep…" he said, kissing her hand sweetly.

She sighed, knowing how stubborn Johnny was, and nodded. She snuggled back underneath the covers and Johnny watched her as she closed her eyes. Why was this happening now? It had been four years and he still was an emotional wreck. He pressed his fingertips to his temple and exhaled deeply. And the fact that he couldn't talk about it was killing Brook. He looked back over to her, fast asleep once again, and sighed heavily. Sometimes he didn't know what he was doing, like he was living a life that wasn't his, and he knew that she sensed that but she loved him anyway.

He had a habit of making women fall in love with him despite his blatant personality flaws.

And he loved Brook too… as much as he could. His life had turned into complete chaos and it had taken him this long to find some sense of normalcy and Brook was a huge part of that. She was his chance of reclaiming something inside of him that broke so long ago.

She was supposed to fix him.

But the wound was so deep and profound that not even the allure of the love of a beautiful woman could pull him out of this hole that he was in. Maybe that was his punishment. Maybe this was all just karma coming back to him, poetic justice for all of the unforgivable things that he had done. Brook muttered something in her sleep and Johnny looked back down at her and smiled sadly. She wanted him to open himself up to her so badly but he couldn't… not about this.

He had hurt enough women to last a lifetime and he didn't want to dump his deepest and darkest secrets and regrets onto her lap… especially these which hit so close to home for both of them.

He stood up and walked over to the window. The wind gently rolled over the curtains and Johnny shivered, thinking back to his dream. It had been so vivid. The screams were just as earsplitting as they were four years ago and the agony that ripped through his heart was just as real as if it had just happened. No, he hadn't woken up from his nightmare… he was still living it.

Lulu Spencer walked to the curb of the arrivals terminal at the small Port Charles airport, bag in hand, waiting for Carly to come and pick her up. She had spent the last year in France living with her mother, helping her with her recovery. Carly was the one who suggested the move in the first place and it helped. The first year and a half back in Port Charles after the divorce was hard. This was the place where she and Johnny had fallen in love. Every spot in town held a memory. The overlook, the Quartermaine boathouse, Kelly's, Jake's…

The first time she walked onto the Haunted Star after the divorce, she cried for thirty minutes straight and Luke had to call Carly to come and calm her down.

He broke her.

Johnny Zacchara broke her.

Everyone said that things would get better in time but they didn't. She felt like she was drowning… drowning in her own failures and then there she was… back at the beginning. Tracy first thought that she was being overly melodramatic but soon saw how quickly Lulu's state deteriorated and she quickly suggested committing her to Shadybrook again for depression but both Luke and Carly were vocally against that. Nikolas, who was living in Europe with Claudia, his new wife, suggested that Lulu take an extended vacation to France to visit Laura.

That visit ended up lasting a year.

The trip worked out to be exactly what Lulu needed. With her mother, Lulu was able to excise many of her inner demons that she had been hiding since the divorce and she felt stronger than she had ever been in her entire life.

"It's time for you to go home and reclaim your life…" Lulu remembered her mother saying.

Lulu shivered as a gust of wind brushed past her as she waited for the familiar green Volvo sedan that belonged to Carly to pull up to the curb. As if on cue, said Volvo turned the corner and pulled up next to Lulu. Inside were Morgan, Carly and a fully awake Michael. Carly was still ecstatic about Michael's recovery from his gunshot wound despite the fact that it had happened over nine months ago.

"Come here, you!" Carly said, immediately outstretching her arms to embrace her little cousin.

Lulu smiled and went to her cousin's arms. She missed Carly so much while she was in France. There were just some things that she couldn't tell her mother but she could tell Carly and Carly would completely understand.

"Where's Jax?" Lulu asked.

"Caught up in a conference call with some Dutch investment banking firm… he sends his regards though…" Carly said.

"Tell him I said thanks… so are you going to help me with this bag?" Lulu asked, smiling, and Carly immediately smiled too. Lulu hadn't smiled a lot when she returned to Port Charles four years ago.

"I missed you so much…" Carly said.

"I missed you too… but can we get out of here? The food on the plane was absolutely disgusting and I'm craving some French fries from Kelly's…" Lulu said and Carly laughed.

"It's so good to see you like this, Lulu… you know, back to your old self…" Carly said.

"Yeah… I feel a lot better… I'm just glad that I didn't have to go back to Shadybrook… once is enough…" Lulu said and Carly chuckled.

"Oh I definitely know the feeling… Roselawn wasn't a picnic either…" Carly said, taking Lulu's bag by the handle.

"God, Lulu… how much stuff did you buy in France to pack this bag so heavily?" Carly asked as she struggled to put her overstuffed suitcase in the trunk of the car.

"I was only supposed to stay a month… I had to buy some stuff…" Lulu said sheepishly.

Lulu and Carly managed to stuff the suitcase into the trunk of the car and Lulu climbed into the front seat of the car. As Carly drove, Lulu managed to catch up on everything that Michael and Morgan had been up to in the past year. Morgan was starting middle school now and was up to a red belt in his karate class. Michael was almost eighteen and was looking at colleges. Of course Carly wanted him to go to PCU, to stay close to home but Jax was adamant on getting Michael into the best college that money could buy. Michael was leaning towards Wesleyan because it had a good drama department and it was close enough so that Carly could take a two hour train to visit but far enough away for it to be a college experience but Jax was pushing the Ivy League and was already planning on inviting some of the board members from Yale and Princeton to the next charity event at the MetroCourt. Soon enough, Carly pulled up to the familiar house that she shared with her husband and Michael and Morgan quickly jumped out of the car.

"It's so good to have you home…" Carly said, walking with Lulu into the house.

"It's good to be back home… I really missed being here… being away from you and Aunt Bobbie… I even missed Tracy…" Lulu joked.

"What really made you come home?" Carly asked, sitting on her coffee colored couch, and Lulu sat beside her and sighed.

"It was time… and—and I feel closer to her when I'm here…" Lulu said, looking down at her hands.

Carly put her hand on top of her cousin's and smiled.

"Well, I'm glad you're here… and I think that Bobbie will be too… she's still hoping that you'll take over Kelly's for her…" Carly said.

"Yeah… I think I will take her up on her offer to run Kelly's… I'm ready to start over… but can I ask you a favor?" Lulu asked.

"Sure… what is it?" Carly asked.

"Can you come with me to visit her? I—I don't think I can do it alone yet…" Lulu asked.

Lulu almost didn't notice that she had started crying again and Carly immediately grasped her hand and nodded. Carly then took her in her arms and held her. Laura had told Lulu that coming back was not going to be easy but she had to be strong. She was strong. After everything that had happened, she was still standing and that had to count for something.

"You didn't even have to ask, Lulu…" Carly whispered.

"Thank you…" Lulu said.

Johnny couldn't stand to be alone in that penthouse. It felt cold and impersonal… like a hotel… nothing like his old brownstone where there was warmth and felt like his own safe haven when the outside world had gone crazy. Brook had left that morning for Barcelona to promote Federico Cabrero's new flagship store there and would be back in a few days. He had hated being alone. It was probably the reason why he quickly attached himself to her after the divorce even though it was the last thing that he wanted to do. He quickly grabbed his keys and punched the elevator button to go downstairs to the garage.

He needed to get away from this.

His nightmares crept into his daytime thoughts now. Maybe Brook was right and it was just residual guilt. He sighed heavily and leaned against the elevator wall. He needed to do something before he completely lost his grip on reality. The elevator doors opened to the garage and he immediately went to his black BMW. His mind was in a fog as he made his way out of Manhattan. He knew where he was heading but he couldn't understand why he felt that it was necessary to head into Port Charles. There was nothing for him there, just reminders of how his life had gone so horribly wrong. The roads were winding, narrow and slick from the pouring rain.

Why did this have to happen? He had done some horrible things in his life but was this appropriate punishment? Why did they have to take her away from them?

Burning tears sprang to his eyes. Surely he was meant to suffer for the rest of his life and he knew that he would. There was no coming back from this. He wiped his eyes and tried to contain himself but when he opened his eyes again, he saw that he was staring a large truck. He quickly veered to the right but the rain had gotten rid of all the traction between the road and his tires and he began to skid and the blaring horn from the truck slowly faded into the darkness.