A/N: Thank you guys for all of your awesome reviews! I've been getting the NICEST reviews ever and I'm just so glad that you guys are enjoying this story. You are the reason why I sit at my laptop, furiously typing away, and racking my brain for new/interesting ideas for Johnny and Lulu. I'm just really glad that you guys aren't bored yet! I'm trying to keep things interesting and moving along story wise because the last thing I want is for you guys not to enjoy the story… but this chapter was sooooo much fun to write and you'll see why… I think that you'll like it ;) Happy reading and don't forget to review!!
They say if you love something let it go
And if it comes back then that's how you know…
I got to the stop light then I made four rights
Now I'm back where I started
And you're back in my life…
The further I go the closer I get back to you
I say I moved on till I'm reminded of you
Can somebody help me?
Help me get out of this circle?
Out of this circle…
"Circle" – Marques Houston
Chapter 6 – Circle
Johnny looked up from his newspaper to catch Brook staring intently at him as she drank her morning coffee. He was sitting at one end of the kitchen island and she was leaning forward on the island directly across from him. This was the third time he caught her staring this morning.
"What's on your mind?" he finally asked, setting down his newspaper, and she smiled.
"You just look so cute when you're all focused…" she said, walking over to him.
She hoisted herself on top of the kitchen island and set her coffee mug on top of his discarded newspaper. She reached over, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, and pulled him close to her. Her chocolate colored hair was in soft waves that went past her shoulders and her eyes were dark and sultry. He had made a promise to make more of an effort with her and he was attracted to her. How could he not be?
Especially since she was still in her black silk pajamas that snugly sat at her hips along with a matching camisole…
He swallowed hard and her lips met his. His body responded and his hands wandered up her thighs and wrapped around her waist. She arched her back and gasped. He never thought about how long it had been since they had been intimate. Surely it had have been a while because she was very eager. He felt her fingertips run down his chest towards the bottom of his t-shirt.
That was when he had his second flashback.
"I need you…"
He looks down and it's her again, his beautiful blond muse. Her face is a bit clearer now but the dim lights from the numerous candles in the room prevent him from being able to make out distinct features. Her golden hair is spread everywhere on the bed and her eyes are focused on him… loving him… adoring him. She looks at him as if he's the only person in the world. He's never felt this much love in his entire life. Her voice is soft, almost like a whimper. She slides her hands up his arms and then to his face, brushing over his eyebrows, nose and then his lips. Her fingers are so warm and so soft against his skin.
"Please…"
She's practically begging him now and he can't hold back much longer. She rises and kisses him and he's completely gone. All he can think about is how much he needs to be inside of her. He wants her so badly that he thinks that he just might die. Her body is like a drug and he is an addict that can't get enough. They're just about tearing at each other's clothes now, needing to feel skin upon skin. He can hear her panting against his skin as he kisses her neck and he knows immediately that it's his favorite spot on her because she easily comes undone when he's there.
"Oh god… oh god…"
Her breathing is labored and her nails dig deep into his flesh but he's too turned on by her to feel any pain. She wraps one of her legs around his waist, closing what little space there was between their bodies and he groans against her neck. He grabs her legs and pulls her to him roughly and before she can make a sound, he's already pressed into her. Her arms are above her head, gripping a nearby pillow, and she arches her back and lets out the most toe-curling moan he's ever heard and he's sure that he's about to lose it. She's so beautiful when he sees her coming apart beneath him… moaning, yelling and then crying out in pleasure until he's struggling to hang on. He wraps his arms around her and presses his lips to his. Her lips part and she's panting into his mouth now. Suddenly, she throws her head back, screaming now, and then collapses in his arms.
"Johnny…"
Johnny's eyes shot open and he immediately recoiled from Brook's grasp, almost falling out of his chair. He pressed his shaking fingertips to his eyes, trying to process what just occurred.
"Johnny? Johnny! Are you alright?" Brook asked, sliding off the surface of the kitchen island.
His eyes met hers and he managed to get control of his breathing. She pressed her cool palm against his slightly sweaty forehead and her brow furrowed into a confused expression.
"Oh my god, Johnny… you're really warm… what happened? Did you remember something?" she asked, not being able to hide the excitement in her voice.
Surely it wasn't cheating if he remembered having probably the best sex of his life with another woman while he was with his fiancée, right?
"Yeah…" he said, sheepishly.
"Oh my god! What did you remember? Was it about me?" she cried, grasping at his hand and he grimaced.
"Uh…" he muttered and her face fell.
"It—it wasn't about me, was it?" she asked.
He looked up at her and shook his head. Brook immediately flushed bright pink, obviously embarrassed that she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. She quickly turned around and left the kitchen, never looking back up at him. Johnny sighed heavily and cursed the day that he had ever gotten into that stupid car and lost his memory. He didn't like hurting her by remembering someone else. He wished that he could be the man that she needed but he couldn't. And this mystery woman was back… with a new dream to haunt him with.
Lulu loved sitting on the waterfront, looking out at the piers, watching ships come and go. It was soothing to hear the horns in the distance and the waves crash against the harbor. She often went down to the waterfront to think and she had a lot of things on her mind to mull over. She failed miserably in her attempt to tell Johnny the truth about their relationship because of Brook. A part of her was glad that she had shown up with Johnny so that she wouldn't be able to tell the truth. Since that awkward meeting in the park, Lulu successfully avoided meeting Johnny like the plague, not that he had come into Port Charles since then. Perhaps he and Brook were busy "bonding" at the Zacchara mansion. Lulu's stomach did an uneasy flip as she thought of the possibilities. Just then, a speedboat noisily zipped by and Lulu smiled, thinking about how she and Johnny used to love taking the boats out on the water, driving fast and reckless. They were so young and free back then. Lulu remembered how they would take his car out for a drive, pull into a deserted lot and look at the stars for hours. Those were the times when she thought that she and Johnny would be forever. She had no idea that it wouldn't last.
"Hey,"
Lulu turned around and saw Johnny standing behind her. He smiled at her and joined her on the bench. She didn't say anything, just looked back down at her hands, avoiding his eyes.
"So, did I miss the part where we had a huge fight and you're not speaking to me?" he chuckled and she shook her head.
"You shouldn't be here…" she finally said.
"Why?" he asked, turning towards her.
"Because…" she said quietly.
"Because what?" he implored.
"Because you're going to upset Brook… she's already worried about you pulling away from her…" she said.
"She's just… frustrated that I haven't had any memories of her… just of this other woman… the same one from last time…" he said and Lulu felt her face turn red.
"You had another memory?" she asked.
"Yeah…" he said wistfully.
"What about?" she asked.
"Does that mean I can stay?" he asked, smiling, and she laughed.
"I'm going to regret this but sure… you can stay…" she said.
"I was with Brook when it happened… we were… we were about to…" he said, clearly struggling to phrase his thought in the right way and she giggled.
"You and Brook were about to have sex when it happened…" she chuckled.
"And I remembered… being in the same… situation… with the woman from before…" he said.
She felt something in her stomach turn. She couldn't believe that he had a memory of the two of them having sex while he was with Brook. The irony would've been something that would've had Lulu on the floor laughing but she was too mortified to be amused.
"Oh…" she muttered.
"Of course, I couldn't tell Brook exactly what I remembered because then she would've been even more upset… so I left the house again… I just—I just needed some air…" he exhaled, looking up at the sky.
"Yeah… having your amnesiac fiancé remember having sex with another woman while she's the one you're supposed to be having sex with is not every girl's dream…" she mumbled.
"You know… I feel bad… I always tell you about my problems… do you have problems of your own that you'd like to share?" he joked and she couldn't help but to laugh.
"Oh, there isn't enough time in the day to tell you all of my problems…" she chuckled.
"Well, since my memory's shot, I've got nothing but time… tell me about Laura Webber…" he said, putting his hands behind his head.
Her eyes fell to him and he was staring right back at her, one of his killer smirks on his face and a glimmer of sincerity that she hadn't seen out of him in years. She exhaled deeply and nodded.
"Alright… well, I grew up here… my parents were… adventure junkies… they travelled all over the world with my older brother before they came back here to settle down. My mom… got sick when I was little. She was in a mental institution for most of my life, in a catatonic state… but she recovered and she's living in Europe now… and my dad wasn't really a homebody… he drifted in and out of my life until I got older… so I was raised by my grandmother here… I went through a bit of a rebellious streak… got into a lot of trouble as a kid…" she began.
"Nothing serious I hope…" he said.
"Some more serious than others…" she said.
"What about your husband? I mean… your ex-husband?" he asked.
Her gaze snapped back to Johnny, hoping that she didn't hear him ask about her husband. What was she supposed to say? Was this her sign to tell him the truth? Could she really bring herself to tell Johnny the truth?
"What—What about him?" she stammered.
"How'd you meet?" he asked and she felt a small smile creep across her lips.
"Hitchhiking…" she chuckled.
"Hitchhiking?" he asked and she nodded.
"I had just found out that my boyfriend at the time had cheated on me… and I was understandably furious so I stormed out of his apartment and just started walking… I just needed to get the hell out of Port Charles… away from Logan… that was my boyfriend's name… and I heard a car coming down the road so I decided to try and hitch a ride and there he was… in the most gorgeous yellow vintage Mustang I had ever seen…" she said, smiling as she remembered the first time that she had met Johnny.
"So, you got into a car with a complete stranger?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah..." she said, looking back at him.
"You know what's funny? I should be mortified that you got into a car with a stranger… that's just asking for trouble… but for some strange reason, I'm glad you did get in that car…" he laughed and she blushed.
"Yeah… I just—I just knew that when I got in the car with him… I was safe… it was like I could breathe again and I couldn't—I couldn't understand how that was possible, you know? I never believed in love at first sight but… now that I look back at it, it seems that it was that way…" she said, looking up at the sky.
"So, you just jumped in the car and went into your happily ever after?" he asked and she laughed.
"If only… but no, it was a little bit more complicated than that…" she chuckled.
"How so?" he asked.
"I spent the next few months going between him and Logan… I knew that I wanted him… more than anyone that I've ever known and it scared me… so I hid behind Logan because I knew that what I had with him was safe and manageable…" she went on.
"But you just couldn't stay away…" he muttered, almost if he remembered.
He was staring at her like he used to, like she was the only person in the world. She noticed that he had scooted closer to her and his arm was resting behind her on the bench. Her heart fluttered in her chest and she exhaled shakily. A part of her wanted him to remember. She thought that she didn't want him to remember her so that they could both move on with their lives but now she couldn't help but to be saddened that he didn't remember her.
"Something like that…" she sighed.
"So, what changed? What made you ditch Logan for good?" he asked.
"I don't think it was a specific thing… I just knew that I couldn't push my feelings aside anymore… it was a bit more complicated than that but I'd hate to bore you with the details… but I finally owned up to how I felt and after a little bit more of back and forth, we finally got together…" she said.
"And then that's when the happiness started?" he asked, smiling.
"Relatively… I—I started getting sick… like my mom and he was there, loving me through it… as much as he could… he was going through some legal troubles at the time and people were telling the both of us to stay away from each other… everyone thought that he was the one making me sick but you know how people judge even though they don't know the entire story…" she explained.
"Legal troubles?" Johnny asked.
"He was on trial for murder… but he was acquitted…" she said and his eyes widened.
"Wow… what happened next?" he asked and she smiled.
"Things calmed down… thankfully… and we were just able to be a normal couple… I actually thought that he was going to get bored without the constant drama…" she mused.
"I can't see how you'd ever bore him…" he laughed and she blushed.
"Life was definitely never boring… well… to continue on with the story, we got married that next fall… and then Aura came a year and a half later…" she said and she could feel her face fall.
"Things went bad after Aura died, didn't they?" he asked quietly and she nodded.
"It devastated him… it devastated the both of us but he just shut down after she passed… and I couldn't do anything to help him… I tried so hard to reach out to him so we could mourn together and realize that we couldn't—we couldn't forget how hard we fought for her and for each other but he wouldn't listen… and he just changed… he became this person that I couldn't even recognize anymore…" she said.
She felt the tears come and they slid down her face slowly as she looked out on the water, unable to look at him. It was just too much to sit there and tell Johnny about the life that they had together that he didn't remember. She closed her eyes and covered her mouth with one of her hands. This just wasn't fair. Why couldn't she just let go? Why couldn't she just let all this pain go? Surely if she could, she wouldn't have to lie to Johnny about their life together.
He felt like dying on the inside.
Watching her like this made him want to die.
She had been hurt so much in her life and all he wanted to do was take all of her pain away. This story that she told tugged at his soul, like he had heard it before. He reached over to her and held her in his arms and gently stroked her back as she cried.
"Shhh… it's ok… I'm here for you…" he whispered as he stroked her blond curls.
"I'm—I'm sorry…" she sniffed, rising from his embrace, and he shook his head.
"Don't be…" he said, curling a piece of hair around her ear.
"Why are you being so nice?" she asked.
"Because you deserve it… you deserve so much better…" he said.
Her eyes met his and he trailed a finger along her cheek, reveling in how smooth her skin was. Her nose was red and her eyes were watery and puffy from crying and her hair was slightly disheveled from lying on his shoulder but she looked beautiful to him. His face inched towards hers and he could hear her breath speed up. Her lips were hesitant at first but after that first kiss, the entire world melted away. There was only her in his world and only him in hers. She ran her fingers through his hair and grasped at the collar of his jacket as his hands pulled her waist closer to him. He could feel the wetness from her tears dribble onto his face and he immediately began to wipe them away as his lips attempted to make her pain go away. He knew he couldn't kiss away all of her problems and her bad memories but he wanted to try.
"Johnny…" she gasped, pulling away from him. Her voice sent a chill down his spine.
It was so familiar… like he had heard it in a dream…
"Please don't tell me to stop…" he whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers.
She exhaled and his fingertips brushed over her lips. He wanted her and it dawned on him that he's wanted her for a while. He wanted to be with her more than it was humanly possible. His hand slid up her neck and tilted her face up towards his. He could see that she was trying to fight it but her resolve was slowly beginning to crumble. His lips grazed hers but she quickly turned her face away from his.
"I can't…" she exhaled.
She quickly stood up and walked towards the edge of the docks. He rose to his feet and reached out to her, turning her around to face him. Her eyes were closed shut so that she couldn't look at him. He lifted her chin up to him and she squeezed her eyelids tighter.
"Laura…" he coaxed and she shook her head.
"No… this is wrong… you're—you're engaged and I'm—" she started but he pressed a finger to her lips to silence her.
"So what?" he asked, holding her face in his hands, as if Laura saying that he was engaged to Brook was the most absurd statement in the world.
"It's not fair! To me or to Brook!" she cried.
"I don't care… I don't care that I'm engaged to Brook… I want you…" he said.
"How can you say that, Johnny? How can you say that about the woman that you love?" she sobbed.
"I don't love Brook! And I don't think I ever did! Even before the accident!" he cried.
He didn't mean to blurt his true feelings towards Brook out loud but he just had to do everything possible to make Laura see that he wanted her. He hoped that it would convince her but instead, it just made her furious. She shoved him away from her and began to walk towards the alleyway that led to the main street but he lunged for her arm and stopped her.
"Don't touch me!" she shrieked.
"What's wrong with you? Why are you being like this?" he asked.
"I can't believe you! You threw away everything for a woman that you never felt anything for!" she screamed.
Those words made him freeze and it took him a few moments to process what she had just said. Apparently, he had been out of the loop as far as Brook was concerned and what exactly did Laura know about his past with Brook?
"Wha—What's that supposed to mean? Do you know something about Brook that I don't?" he asked, pulling her close to her.
She obviously didn't mean to blurt out that bit of information because her eyes were filled with fear as he held her.
"If you know something about my past with Brook, you need to tell me, Laura…" he said.
"I—I have to go…" she said, immediately escaping his grasp and heading down the alleyway. He didn't try to follow her because he was too rattled by her admission to run after her.
You threw away everything for a woman that you never felt anything for…
Laura's words sent a shiver down his spine, almost telling him that he didn't want to remember what had really happened. Brook had said that they were complicated at first and she was mum on the details about the beginning of their relationship. It never occurred to him that Brook would want to keep something a secret from him when she was the one who wanted him to regain his memory so badly. He sighed heavily and looked out onto the water. And how would Laura know about his relationship with Brook? According to her, they had dated only briefly before he had even met Brook but now she knew a huge secret about his past with Brook. How could she possibly know something this huge?
Someone was lying to him… and he needed to know why.