A/N: Thank you guys for your awesome reviews! I'm constantly amazed by how incredibly nice you all are and how much you're really enjoying this story :) Ok, so I really wanted to hurry up and get this chapter out because I know that there's probably going to be a delay with the next one and that's only because I go to school in Washington, DC and of course it's inauguration weekend (yay!!!) and I'm hardly going to be at my computer to start the next chapter :) I know that with the way that this chapter is going to end, you're probably going to kill me but I promise that when I have the time, I'm going to work on the next one! Alright, happy reading and don't forget to leave another one of your lovely reviews!!

Well I remember, I remember don't worry…
How could I ever forget?
It's the first time… the last time we ever met
But I know the reason why you keep your silence up…
No, you don't fool me
The hurt doesn't show
But the pain still grows
It's no stranger to you or me…
And I can feel it coming in the air tonight…
Oh lord...

"In the Air Tonight" – Phil Collins

Chapter 9 – In the Air Tonight

Johnny was riding the heels of an enormous high. Something happened when he and Laura had come together. He couldn't remember his past or any other romantic relationships that he had ever had but he was sure that this was something different.

It was so much bigger with her.

Like everything in the universe had fallen into place.

He sighed and pressed his lips to the back of her shoulder. She shifted in her sleep, letting a soft sigh pass over her lips as they curled up together on that chaise lounge. Her hair smelled like a mixture of strawberries and rainwater and he never wanted to smell anything else. There was nothing besides them. The outside world didn't exist as far as he was concerned.

Suddenly, the room began to dissolve around him and voices echoed through his ears, jarring him from his false sense of security.

He's standing in what seems to be a dining room. It's late and the only light that is present in the room comes from two lit candles on the table. She's sitting across the table from him with her head hung and she's holding a glass of wine in her hand. The candles have almost completely melted and it dawns on him that she was waiting for him to come home. Aware of his presence, she raises her head slowly, letting him see her tearstained cheeks and a sickening feeling rushes throughout his body.

"You came…" she whispers.

"I almost didn't…" he says, putting his hands in his pockets.

He can't even look her in the eye, knowing all that she still wants him after everything that he's done. It makes him love her even more and makes him hate himself. He doesn't deserve her. He has to save her from this hell. He has to destroy her in order to free her from him. She pushes the chair back and walks over to him. He can barely make out her features in the dark room but he knows that she probably looks beautiful as always.

"It doesn't matter… you're here now…" she says, cupping his face in her hands.

He removes her hands from him, trying to stomach what he was about to do. It's killing him inside to break her like this but he has no choice. She could do so much better than him. She would do so much better than him.

"This—this doesn't change anything, Lulu…" he says. Hearing her name is hard for him.

"But you're here! I know that you still love me, Johnny!" she cries.

"I'm here to—to make you stop fighting the divorce…" he says through gritted teeth.

"Nothing you can say or do will ever make me stop loving you…" she says, holding his hand.

She shouldn't have said that. He knows that she's wrong and that even though she's forgiven him for a lot over the years, there was no going back from this. He swallows hard, knowing that he has to shatter her heart. He looks her square in the eye and says those five words that he knows will destroy his marriage forever.

"I slept with someone else…" he says.

Her head snaps up to his and he can see a myriad of emotions running though her eyes. He hates how it's come to this and he immediately wants to fall to her feet, apologizing and begging her for forgiveness but he remains unmoved, despite the sadness in her eyes.

"I don't believe you… you're just trying to push me away because of what happened to Au—" she begins but he shakes his head violently.

"It's the truth, Lulu… I slept with someone else… I've—I've been sleeping with her for a while now…" he says, no longer able to look at her. He's too ashamed of himself.

"How—how could you do this to me, Johnny? I gave you my heart! My life! I gave you everything that I had!" she cries.

She covers her mouth with her hands and sobs. He shuts his eyes and clenches his fist. He's fighting back the urge to go to her. All he wants to do is to wrap his arms around her and tell her that it didn't mean anything to him. He wants to tell her that there's no one else for him but her but he can't. He's already done enough to hurt her and to try and make things work would just destroy her even more than she already is. She turns away from him and begins to walk back over to her chair.

"Lulu…" he starts but she raises her hand to silence him.

"No… don't even say another word. I can only take so much, Johnny… I can take your silence, I can take how you won't look me in the eye anymore… I can understand that… after everything that we've been through… I can understand that you're hurting… but—but the fact that you went to someone else… the fact that you found comfort in someone that wasn't me… I—I cannot forgive you for that…" she says.

He swallows hard as her voice breaks. Her back is still facing him and another wave of sobs take over her body. He wants to leave. He needs to leave. Seeing what he's done to her makes him want to die on the inside. He knows that he's a coward because he can wreck destruction like this but cannot stomach the aftermath. She exhales deeply and turns around to face him.

"You want me to stop fighting the divorce? Fine… because I'm done… I'm so done, Johnny… I'm not going to put anymore energy into something that you obviously don't want to save…" she says.

"I'm sor—" he starts.

"No… don't you dare tell me you're sorry! No more lies, Johnny… because you're not sorry… you're not sorry at all…" she cries.

"Lu…" he says and her fury rises as he mutters her pet name.

"Get out! Get the hell out of my house!" she screams.

Her words drive him backwards, knowing that he was successful in his attempts to drive her away. He expects to feel relieved that she's finally free of him but it doesn't make him feel better. He feels as if he's swallowed a fifty pound weight. He ducks into the hallway and closes his eyes as he hears her crying in the next room along with glass shattering against the wall. He winces at the sound of her destroying the china that they received for their wedding and he clenches his fist.

He was sorry. He was sorry that it had to come to this and it broke his heart that the one time he was telling the truth, she didn't want to hear it.

Suddenly, he felt a warm hand come to his face and his eyes shot open. The room was hazy as his eyes focused and his breathing slowed to a normal pace. Laura was holding his face in her hands and her eyes were worried.

"Johnny? Johnny, are you alright?" she asked, gently caressing his cheek.

"Laura?" he asked as his eyes struggled to focus.

She nodded and pressed her lips to his forehead. The tension in his body was slowly diffusing from his body and he began to relax in her arms. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply as she ran her slim fingers through his hair.

"What happened?" he asked.

"You were tossing and turning in your sleep… and muttering something… is everything ok?" she asked softly and he shook his head.

"I'm—I'm scared, Laura…" he confessed.

"Why?" she asked, turning his face towards her.

He sighed heavily and he wrapped his arms around her lower waist as she curled against him. Her eyes were bright, beautiful and full of concern. All he could think about was what she would think if she knew the truth. Her husband had cheated on her and left her and she was just starting to open up to him.

How could he tell her that he did the same thing to someone else?

Surely she would never look at him in the same way ever again. He didn't want to know anything else about his past, afraid of what kind of a monster he was before his accident. He didn't want to know what he was capable of. He didn't want to know what he could do to Laura, who only deserved the best.

"I'm—I'm so sorry, Laura…" he whispered.

"For what?" she asked.

"For your husband…" he said and she sat up quickly, clearly surprised that he would bring up her ex-husband at this point.

"W—What?" she stammered as he sat up to meet her.

"He betrayed you and I'm sorry… you—you deserve so much better… better than me even…" he said, shaking his head.

She tilted his head up to her and smiled slightly. Her hand then fell to his chest and she kissed him sweetly on the lips. His insides felt like they could melt at her touch. He knew that he didn't deserve her but as long as she wanted him, he would fight like hell to have her.

"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you…" she whispered, scooting closer to him.

"When I told you that I found out some information last night… I—I found out that I was married and cheated on my wife…" he said.

"Oh… I'm—I'm sorry that you had to hear it like that…" she said softly.

"And I know that your husband cheated on you and I just want—I want you to know that I would never do that to you… hurting you is the last thing I want to do…" he said, meeting her eyes. She pressed her forehead to his and smiled slightly.

"I believe you…" she breathed, raising her head to look at him.

He exhaled deeply at her words, like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. The fact that she believed him meant more to him than she could even imagine. She trusted him when she absolutely had no reason to and he wasn't about to break her faith in him.

"I love you…" he whispered, tracing the outline of her lips with his thumb.

"I—I know…" she said before pressing her lips to his again.

After another round of excruciatingly passionate lovemaking, Lulu turned to Johnny and told him that she needed to go. Although it was the last thing he wanted, Johnny just nodded his head. They both dressed in virtual silence, slipping back into their damp clothes from the night before. She knew that he still felt ashamed of what he had done and a part of her let him make love to her again to ease his fears that she would think less of him.

If only he knew…

She picked up her coat off the floor and turned back around towards him. His gaze was focused to the window, looking out at the clear skies above, mind absorbed in thought. She put her hand on the cold doorknob and started to open the door but she suddenly felt a warm hand grasp her free hand.

"Wait…" he exhaled.

He pulled her to him, catching her slender frame in his muscular arms, and caught her mouth in a heated kiss. His hands came to her back and pressed her hard against his chest, making her gasp against his lips.

"I don't want you to go…" he muttered against her skin.

"I don't either… but it's almost noon and I really should get going…" she said, running her fingers over his lips.

"I'll come by later… how's that? I'll take you on a 'proper' date…" he said, smirking.

"Sounds perfect…" she said.

He kissed her again and then released her from his embrace. They didn't say goodbye because they both knew that this was the start of something beautiful and there wasn't any way that they would ever want things to end now. As she pulled away from the Zacchara mansion and headed down that road back home, all she could think about was that night that she spent with him. She felt tears come to her eyes as she remembered. He had been so gentle with her… like he always had been when they were together. She pulled her car into her driveway and turned off the ignition.

"Oh god… what have I done?" she whispered.

That small little speck of the man that she knew had grown and the Johnny that she knew and had fallen in love with had come back to her. She could see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. He had come back and she was in love with him again. She placed her hand over her aching heart and exhaled shakily.

It couldn't last.

She loved him with all of her heart and soul and now she knew that nothing could ever change that. No matter how hard she tried to deny her feelings or how fast she tried to run away from them. Her heart would always belong to Johnny. She wiped the tears that were falling from her eyes.

It wouldn't last.

How could it? She was lying to him in the worst way possible. She knew that he was close to finding out the truth about their past. How much longer could she keep this charade going without slipping up? She had already had one too many close calls and it was only a matter of time until he found out the truth or remembered their past. Then that would be the end. He wouldn't be able to forgive her for lying to him about their past. If there was one thing that she knew about Johnny, it was his inability to trust the people around him. It was an innate defense mechanism that he had to develop when he was growing up with his sadistic father. He let her in and she had betrayed that trust by lying to him. She had justified it before with wanting to protect herself from him but now she knew better. There simply wasn't a force that could ever stop her from falling in love with Johnny again… and now she was stuck. If they spent more time together, he was bound to remember something and then he would know the truth, and if she told him the truth, she knew that he wouldn't be that understanding, no matter how much she tried to make him believe her.

Either way… she knew that she was going to lose him forever.

Johnny's mind was moving at a million miles per second as he drove down the main highway. He had to keep his hands from trembling as he gripped the steering wheel, heading towards the unknown. He had swallowed hard and resolved to face what he had done. He looked over to the empty passenger seat and saw the file that his private investigator had given him. The sheet of paper with Lulu Spencer's contact information sat on top of the tan folder, staring dauntingly at him. He probably should've called her first but he figured that he should be brave and rip the band-aid off quickly instead of peeling it back slowly and painfully.

"You can do this…" he muttered to himself.

He turned the wheel, taking his car off the highway, and things seemed familiar to him but it was different this time. He recognized some of the small stores along the street as he passed them by but he knew that it wasn't like before. These memories didn't seem dormant but fresh in his mind. He made another turn and headed into a quaint residential area and the feeling just got stronger and stronger.

"1601… 1603… ok, there's 1605…" he mumbled as he read the address numbers on the mailboxes.

He pulled up to the house and turned off the ignition. He looked up at the house and like a train, it hit him. The house that he was parked in front of was Laura's house… or looked exactly like it. His stomach did an uneasy flip at the eeriness of the situation. He shook his head, thinking that his realization was completely ridiculous and headed towards the house. His hands shook violently as he headed up the steps to the porch. What was he going to say to her? Would she even talk to him? Hesitantly, he raised his hand and pushed the doorbell, submitting to his fate.

"Hold on! I'll be right there!"

Johnny felt the earth drop below his feet at the sound of her voice. This had to be a mistake. He heard footsteps from inside the house grow louder and the front door quickly swung open, revealing Laura.

"Johnny? What are you doing here? I thought that you were going to stop by later…" she said, smiling as she leaned against the doorway.

"I—I must have the wrong address…" he said, completely shocked to see her standing before him.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"My private investigator gave me this information on my ex-wife…" he began and he handed her the folder. The smile that she had immediately faded and all of the color drained from her face.

"Johnny…" she whispered as she began leafing through the file.

"He said that she lived here… 1605 Maple Grove Drive… he obviously—he obviously made a mistake… Lulu Spencer can't live here…" he said, trying to make sense of this situation.

She looked up at him and she was already crying. His heart clenched in his chest and he knew that something huge had just happened. Laura closed the file and held it close to her chest. She put a hand over her mouth in order to calm herself down and Johnny began to brace himself for whatever was next.

"It's not—it's not a mistake, Johnny…" she finally said.

"Wh—What do you mean?" he asked.

She exhaled sharply and took his hands in hers, in a beseeching kind of way and he knew that whatever she had to say was serious. What she had to say would change everything.

"My name… my name isn't Laura Webber… it's Lulu Spencer…"