AN: Sorry this is a few days late, was on vacation last week. Enjoy.
Chapter 5
EPOV
Bella's webcam turned on and she was looking off to the side of the screen and refused to make "eye" contact with me. I barely knew this girl but it was obvious something was bothering her. She kept biting at her lower lip and fidgeting with her hands.
Edward C: Bella what's wrong?
She glanced up at me momentarily quickly averting her eyes down while she typed a response.
Bella S: Nothing, I'm fine.
Edward C: You don't look fine.
She quickly looked up with a hurt expression on her face and her webcam went black.
Bella S: Then I guess I don't need to be looked at.
Edward C: Bella, that's not what I meant.
Bella S: I have to go Edward. I can't talk to you right now.
Edward C: Then when can we talk?
Bella S: I don't know. I just can't do this right now. Bye.
Before I could type a response she had signed off and she was gone. I felt a dull ache start in my chest. Something was bothering Bella and something I said had set her off. Only I had no idea what it was. I didn't yet know this girl but I knew I didn't like seeing her upset and I wanted to fix what was wrong. So I did the only thing I could right now I left her an offline message hoping that when she got it she would feel the sincerity and she would write me back.
BPOV
I shut my laptop forcefully as tears stung my eyes. I walked to my bedroom door and locked it, switching the light off. I didn't want my mom bouncing in at 7am. I just wanted to be left alone.
I curled up in bed and hugged my pillow tight. Staring up into the clear Arizona sky I let the tears fall. Edward probably though that I was some kind of nutcase. Hell, I thought that at times. I hated that I let James get to me like he did, just when I thought I was over the crap he had done to me he would show up and open up the wound again. A shutter ran through my body as I wondered what would have happened if my mom wouldn't have come home when she did. I couldn't wait to get out of here and away from him.
If my mother knew that James was a big part of the reason I had decided to leave Phoenix and move in with my dad she would have had nothing to do with it. She had told me time and time again to never let a man control me and be a strong independent woman. I felt like anything but that right now. I was a scared girl that had no one to turn to about any of this, no one that I could talk to about my true feelings and what had happened. And no matter where I was living I would always be alone because I would never be able to truly open up to anyone.
I had convinced myself that Edward was just another good looking guy out for one thing. I was convinced after my stunt tonight he would never want to talk to me again. By the time I got to Forks I would already have the reputation as a nutcase. I glanced over at my alarm clock realizing I had been laying here crying and feeling sorry for myself for hours. I knew sleep wouldn't come easy tonight because of my encounter with James so I flipped open my laptop to see if there was anyone around worth talking to.
I did not expect to be greeted by a message from Edward but there it was. I took a deep breath and read what he had written.
Edward C: Bella I'm truly sorry if something I said upset you. I didn't intend to do that at all. I know this will sound crazy because we don't even know one another but I want to make you happy and it hurts me to know that you are feeling otherwise. I sincerely hope you talk to me again and give me a chance. I hope to talk to you again soon. Truly yours, Edward.
I felt the tears form in my eyes again. I felt guilt for thinking that Edward was the same kind of slime bag James was. If that were the case he wouldn't take the effort he was with me. I'm sure Edward Cullen had no difficulty in finding a girl around Forks. So why was it that he was so fascinated with me? Every part of me told me to just walk away from this situation and not respond to his message. To just show up in Forks and try to blend in as much as possible and avoid Edward Cullen at all costs. Get through my last year and few months of school virtually un-noticed and go to college where I could start over. But there was a small part of me that was drawn to Edward. There was just something about him that made me feel like he was different, this boy was special. And it was that small part that won out over the rest of me tonight. I would respond, and I would test him at the same time.
Bella S: I'm sorry that I freaked out on you earlier. I just had a really bad night. I had a rather unwelcomed visitor stop by right before I logged on and he just put me in a very foul mood. I'm not going to lie, I'm eager to leave Phoenix, not just to be with my dad and let my mom have some freedom, but I'm eager to run away from some people I'd rather not see on a daily basis. I appreciate you wanting to make me happy but I just don't know if that's possible. I guess you could say I have a lot of baggage and I don't wish to burden you with any of that. I'm sure you'd be better off just leaving me be and not having to deal with it.
I hit send and let out the breath I had been holding. I hadn't told him anything too private, but he was the first person I had admitted to that I was basically running from Phoenix. I was about to shut down my chat program when I saw his reply pop up on my screen. I hadn't even realized he was still online.
Edward C: Bella you're not a burden to me. And the last thing I want is to just leave you be.
I stared at my screen having absolutely no idea what I wanted to write back.
Edward C: Bella? I know you're there, please talk to me.
Why was he still up? It was hours later he should be asleep I didn't intend to have to deal with all this right now.
Edward C: Bella please just say something; don't make me feel like the crazy guy talking to himself here.
I smiled slightly at his comment, out of the two of us he was not the crazy one I was sure.
Bella S: I'm sorry.
Edward C: You have nothing to be sorry for Bella. I'm sorry if I upset you earlier, like I said that was not my intention.
Bella S: No it's okay Edward. I just have my issues. That's why I think it's better if you just walk away now.
Edward C: Bella we all have issues, even I do. I think its better that you have a friend here, and I'd really like to be that friend.
Bella S: I guess we could try to be friends.
Edward C: Good. Now do you want to talk about this person that had you so upset earlier?
Bella S: No not really.
Edward C: Bella it isn't healthy to keep something upsetting trapped inside.
I rolled my eyes at his last sentence. Like I didn't know that, like I didn't realize that living with the secret I had for two years wasn't good for my mental health. But just what was I supposed to do, gush all the sordid horrible details to some boy I hadn't even met. He'd probably end up thinking I was some slutty teenage bimbo and either want nothing to do with me, or think he'd be able to have his way with me once I arrived. No thanks; I'd rather just keep things to myself.
Bella S: It's nothing Edward. Just some jerk from school that likes to get under my skin. I guess you could call him a bully.
EPOV
I had a feeling that this guy was more of a bully but I didn't want to push Bella, especially not tonight. She was already upset because of whatever this jerk had said or done to her, and I'm sure she felt at this point that I had no business prying into her life. I still wasn't sure why I felt as though I had the business to pry. There was just something about this girl that compelled me to want to protect her from everything. She seemed quiet and shy, which threw me off because she was the most beautiful creature I had seen. It was almost as if she didn't realize her own beauty. I wanted to help her see who she was, and help her be happy, even though she didn't think she could be.
Edward C: Okay Bella. I won't pry, but just know I'm always here if you want to talk to me.
I decided to change the subject before upsetting her more. I knew it was late and I didn't want to keep her up, but I also didn't want to let her go.
Edward C: So how was your day of shopping?
Bella S: It was ok. It accomplished what it was meant to. But I absolutely hate shopping.
Edward C: LOL don't let my sister Alice hear you say that she may have a coronary.
Bella S: Why's that? And you have a sister?
Edward C: Because she's a shopaholic. And yes I have a sister that is one year younger than me and a brother Emmett who is one year older. What about you?
Bella S: Well then maybe I'll let your sister do any shopping I need while I'm there. And I'm an only child.
Edward C: I'm sure Alice would love to shop for you. She already shops for the entire family.
Bella S: You and your siblings must be very close. I mean being so close in age.
I knew this subject would eventually come up. Having 3 children only one year apart was a little extreme for most people and a lot of people usually questioned it in some shape or form. After my parents passed away in a car wreck when I was eight my dad's brother Carlisle adopted me. We had all been in the car heading out of town on a small family getaway for a few days when our car was struck by another. My parents died at the scene and I was rushed to the nearest hospital where I was in critical condition for several days. A few weeks later I was released from the hospital and I had lived here with my aunt and uncle since. They helped ease my transition and treated me as their own son, and my cousins had done well to accept me as well. I just referred to them as mom and dad and my siblings because it just made things so much easier.
Edward C: Well technically they aren't my brother and sister.
Bella S: What do you mean technically?
I went on to explain everything to Bella. I had never really opened up to a peer about my past let alone a girl. It felt good to be able to be honest with Bella. Somehow I knew that she would show my empathy and not feel sorry for me.
Bella S: Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. That's great that your family was able to take you in like that.
Edward C: Thanks Bella. Like I said earlier we all have our issues. Even me.
Bella S: Yes, I guess we all do.
I was hoping by me opening up to her that it would make it easier for her to tell me what her story was. I stared at the screen a few minutes waiting for her to tell me something, anything about what was bothering her. But as the seconds past nothing else came from her. I was starting to wonder if she had fallen asleep.
Bella S: Unfortunately not all of us are able to get the support they need for their issues.
Edward C: Maybe some of us just aren't looking in the right place.
Bella S: Maybe some of us are afraid of what others will think of them and would rather suffer in silence.
My heart ached knowing that she thought I would judge her. Whatever was bothering her was obviously something she felt guilty about and thought was her fault.
Edward C: Bella I will never ever judge you based on your past or anything that is bothering you. You can talk to me and trust me.
Bella S: How am I supposed to believe you Edward? I don't even know you!
Edward C: You're right you don't know me. Not yet. But you will. And I'll do whatever I have to do to prove to you that you deserve to be happy, and that you can trust me.
Bella S: Yeah well you might be waiting awhile.
Edward C: I don't mind waiting if it's for something I want.
BPOV
What did he mean something he wants? What could I possibly have that he would want? Edward had opened up to me about his past and I had to admit that it was definitely not something I was expecting to hear from him. Sometimes I got to feeling so down on myself that I forgot that some people had dealt with things far worse than I had. I still had both of my parents; I could see and talk to them whenever I wanted to. Edward didn't have that luxury, I mean yeah it sounded like his family had accepted him fully but I'm sure he still had times that he just wished he had his parents back.
I shouldn't trust this boy I barely knew. Hell, we had only spoken three times now and earlier tonight shouldn't have even counted. Any normal person would think I was crazy for falling for this boy the way I was. But there was just something about him that made me feel like I could trust him with everything. That he would never hurt me.
Bella S: And just what is it that you want Edward?
Edward C: I told you Bella. I want to make you happy and help you overcome whatever it is that is bothering you.
Bella S: And what if it takes more effort than I'm worth?
Edward C: Bella, you are worth any effort I have to put forth.
I fought back the tears. I had cried enough in one day and I wasn't going to let them flow anymore.
Bella S: Just how do you know what I'm worth Edward Cullen? You have no idea about anything to do with me. You don't know me. What are you trying to gain?
I hadn't meant to snap at him but I just had to know what his motive was. He had to want something from me. Something that I probably wasn't willing to give. And if this were the case I had to get rid of him now. I could already feel myself falling for him, and I refused to get hurt again.
Edward C: I am trying to gain the friendship and companionship of a beautiful woman. That is what I am trying to gain. Contrary to whatever you may think Bella I do not have any hidden motives here. I am not trying to lure you into some trap, and I definitely do not want to hurt you in any way. I don't know what it is but something about you captivates me, and I just want to be in your life. So you're worth a lot to me Bella. And if you aren't okay with letting me in that's fine, but I'm not going to be scared away. I will be here now and tomorrow, and every day after so when you do decide you can open up to me, I'll be waiting for you. Because you are worth it to me.
I couldn't hold the tears back anymore and I let them fall down my face. I had never met this boy but somehow we were connected. When he talked to me everything felt right, and I couldn't help but put my trust in him. His words were sincere; he didn't talk like most 17 year old boys I knew. He spoke like a man, he was a boy that was mature for his age, and I was sure it was because of the sobering reality of losing his parents at a young age. I couldn't deny anymore that I was in over my head with Edward Cullen, and I thought if there was any way I could choose to go down, it would be drowning in him.
Bella S: James.
There, I said his name. That was the hard part. Now Edward could ask the questions and I could try to give him the answers.
Edward C: Who is James Bella?
Bella S: My visitor from earlier tonight.
Edward C: Ok. What did he do to upset you?
Bella S: He's been upsetting me for over two years.
Edward C: What did he do to you Bella?
I had to tell him now. I couldn't go back, I didn't know if I'd ever get to this point again to be brave enough. Edward had opened up to me about his parents, it was my turn. That was fair. So I told him everything, absolutely everything, including the taunting at school. The way James and his friends looked at me, and grabbed at me, the things they said to me. I told Edward everything, and when I was done I waited for him to disappear, or call me a slut, I waited for him to do anything but what he actually did.
Edward C: Bella that guy is an absolute scum bag. And so are his friends. You didn't do anything wrong and he took advantage of you then and he continues to do so now.
You leaving there is a good idea I don't think you should be around this guy alone.
Bella S: Edward I don't have anyone. You're the only person I ever said anything to. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything.
Edward C: You have me Bella.
Bella S: I do?
Edward C: Nothing you could tell me would change that. I'm not going anywhere.
I wiped away the tears from my cheeks and gently pressed my fingertips against my laptop screen as if that brought me closer to him. In just a few weeks I would be out of here, I could leave James behind and I could start over. Edward might not be able to be here with me to protect him from James but at least I had told someone, I had someone I could confide in now. I had Edward.
EPOV
I couldn't believe what she had just told me. I wanted to fly down to Phoenix on the first flight and just pummel this James guy. I'm sure even Emmett would enjoy the trip with me; he hated scum bags that pulled that kind of crap on girls. His girlfriend Rosalie had dealt with a few in her time and Emmett had a zero tolerance policy for guys like that. And although I knew doing something like that would be overreacting and probably on the side of crazy I had to still talk myself down.
No wonder Bella was so hesitant with me. This creep had made her thing that all guys were assholes like him and that we were all out to get one thing from her. Bella deserved better than that. She deserved to be treated with respect, and if I was afforded the chance, she deserved to be touched with a loving hand. This James had left her broken and afraid; I was now more determined than ever to make her better. Bella deserved to smile and be happy, not to cry and be afraid to even go to school.
Bella S: I'll try Edward.
Edward C: Try what?
Bella S: I'll try to put my trust in you and not be so crazy.
Edward C: You're not crazy Bella. You've just had to deal with a lot of garbage.
It tore me up inside that she felt so lowly of herself. This creep had completely ruined her self esteem to the point that she barely had any. I planned to change that.
Edward C: You're a beautiful young woman Bella and I plan to prove that to you.
Bella S: Good luck with that one.
Edward C: I've always enjoyed a challenge. ;)
BPOV
I laughed softly to myself; he had no idea what kind of challenge I was going to be. I had a feeling that if I was in over my head, he was about to be as well.
Bella S: I should really get to sleep.
Edward C: Yes, it's late; you've had a draining night. When can we talk again?
Bella S: Well I'm usually always around. I think I'm going to one of Phil's spring training games in the afternoon but I should be around at night.
Edward C: Okay well I will look for you then.
Bella S: Sounds like a plan.
Edward C: Sweet dreams Bella. Talk to you soon!
Bella S: Goodnight Edward.
I closed my laptop up and curled up under my covers once again staring up at the night sky. My burden felt a little lighter having shared it with Edward and I wasn't worried about having any nightmares now. Instead as I drifted off to sleep it was Edward's green eyes and tousled bronze hair that showed up in my dreams. That was something I could handle.
AN: So there you go, review please. And don't be too mean, it's late and I pushed myself to get it finished so I could get it up. May not be the best, but it is what it is.