A/N: Thanks to Not That Girl for being my ONLY reviewer...
By the way, I can promise that the Cullens WILL be appearing in this story - just not yet.
Same as applies to last chapter - please review, even if you only read the first paragraph and hated it, because i can't improve if you don't tell me where I'm going wrong. Please, please do this for me - it won't take long! Love, Jude ;)
Burn Out
"Jen, honey, wake up. Wake up, Jen!"
For the third time, Jen simply batted a hand at Becca, rolled over to bury her face in Dan's shoulder. Even when she had gone to bed stone-cold sober, trying to get Jen out of bed was never easy, but Jen had been nowhere near sober since about eight the night before.
"Jen –"
"Look, Becca." Jen half lifted her head, bleary panda-eyes where she hadn't wiped off her make-up before falling into bed. "Go fuck Matt, or something, but leave me the hell alone. I'm asleep." And she dropped her head back down to the pillow.
Despairingly, Becca took a deep breath and hoped that – one day – Jen would forgive her for what she was about to do. "Jennifer Louisa Davenport! Get your ass out of bed this instant, your mom's on her way over!"
Oh, yeah. That worked.
"What?" Jen shot bolt upright with a scream. Dan, abruptly woken, propped himself up on one hand with a groan. Becca cast a triumphant glance backwards to Matt, found him watching her with a grin.
"What?" she asked.
"Yelling that their mom's on their way over does wake people up surprisingly quickly, especially if they're in bed with somebody."
"Old habits die hard," Becca replied.
"My mom? Where's my mom? Wait a minute," Jen's eyes narrowed, "Mom and Dad are vacationing in Quebec. Why would they be coming here?"
"They will be if you don't get your ass out of bed and call her," Becca told her firmly. "Apparently there's been an accident –"
"Whoa. Whoa, Becca. What's happened, are Mom and Dad okay?"
"Car accident on campus, Jen. Your parents heard about it and your mom flipped, thought it might have been you...she wants you to call her back. Now."
"Sure. Matt, get out of here and put some coffee on. And there's some Tylenol in the cupboard next to the fridge if you need it." Always cool-headed in an emergency, Jen took a deep breath, pressed her fingers to her temples. "When?"
"Early this morning." Becca's voice wavered. "That means..."
"Someone from my party. Shit." Jen slid out of bed, wincing at the thud her feet made hitting the floor, and began to dig through the piles of clothes slung over her chair for something to put on. "Do we know who? Who stayed over?"
"The whole band's here. Jack and Jamie and Chris, so Candy and probably Hannah as well."
"Good." Jen bent to brush a light kiss across her sleeping boyfriend's forehead, but Dan didn't stir and she smiled fondly. "Come on, Becca, I could really do with some coffee."
"Face first, Jen. You look like a panda." The girls' eyes met, and wordlessly they wrapped their arms around each other. "It might not be anybody we know." Becca's words were for herself as much as they were for her friend.
"It wasn't us." Jen voiced the thought of all survivors. "Thank God, Becca. I know it sounds awful, but...thank God it wasn't us."
Downstairs in the kitchen, a rather subdued huddle of people crowded around the table nursing mugs of coffee. An empty packet of Tylenol lay in the centre. Becca took a quick survey of who was there; Matt, holding out two mugs wordlessly to them; Jack Freeman – drummer – and his twin sister Hannah who was leaning sleepily into boyfriend Josh's shoulder; Jamie, bassist, with his swollen foot up on a chair.
"Hey, pretty girls," Jamie greeted them. "Got a good morning kiss for me, Ryan?"
"Hands off, Jamie." Matt handed the coffee to Jen and Becca, smoothly sliding his arm around the latter's waist. "You okay, baby?" She nodded and, because they both needed it, pressed a kiss to his lips.
"Okay, okay, I get the point." Jamie held up his hands in resignation.
"Jeez, I wonder who got laid last night," Jack muttered.
"No prizes for guessing who didn't," his sister replied pointedly. Jack shrugged, took a swig of his coffee.
"Where's Chris?" Jen asked as she dug in the cupboard for another packet of Tylenol.
Jamie rolled his eyes. "Where do you think? He and Candy laid dibs on your other spare room. Jen, have you any idea how uncomfortable your couch is?"
"There's always the floor if you don't like the couch," Jen told him.
Becca still hadn't spoken. The faces of all the people she knew – all the people who had been at the party – kept flashing in front of her eyes. She'd seen just how drunk a lot of them had been. What if any one of them had got in a car like that, tried to drive even the short distance onto the university campus? What if they'd had more people in the car with them?
"Hey, Becca. Becca, baby, stay with me." Matt's arms enfolded her as she began to tremble, pulled her onto his lap as he sat down on an empty chair. "It's all right. It's okay, baby." He stroked her dark hair gently as she clung to him, face pressed into his shoulder. "It's all right."
Several of their friends exchanged startled glances. "Would anybody like to tell us exactly what's going on?" Hannah asked.
"Didn't Matt tell you?" Jen continued studying her best friend, watching speculatively as Matt continued to comfort Becca with soft words and gentle caresses.
"No," Jack replied shortly. "What, are those two guys actually officially dating at last? Or –"
Jen seemed to suddenly spring to life. "Damn it, Jesus! I have to call my mom!"
"But what –"
"There's been an accident." Becca drew in a deep breath, calm again, although she continued to snuggle in Matt's lap. "Jen's mom called a little while ago, to check we were okay. A car crash on campus..." Her voice trailed away as Jen punched a number into her phone.
"Jen? Jen, is that you?"
"Hi Mom, it's me. You're on speaker phone. We're okay."
"Thank God." Jackie Davenport took two long, deep breaths. "When I heard...your aunt called me, it's all over the news. A blue golf, total burn out on campus, and I thought..."
There was silence in the kitchen. Jen drew one shaking hand across her eyes; she had a blue golf. "We're okay, Mom. We're all right."
Silently Jack stood up and switched on the TV, volume on mute. They watched the words scroll across the screen, not really listening as Jen's mom talked on with relief. Burned out car on the campus of Dartmouth University...probably students returning to their dorms. Cause, suspected to be driving under the influence, no other vehicles involved. Four body bags...
Four body bags. Four people dead in one night.Four people they knew. Identity withhold...no survivors, pleas for witnesses. Burned out car on the campus of Dartmouth University...
Identity withheld, or unidentifiable?
"We'll probably have cops coming over sometime today," Jen spoke quietly after her mom had hung up. "See who was here, if they were here...They'll want to talk to you, Becca. You're the only one who was sober enough to remember anything last night."
Becca nodded wordlessly, and Matt's arms clasped her even more tightly.
As they all began to clear up the debris left scattered about the house from the night before, Becca paused, watched her friends. Four body bags; it could have so easily been them. Becca, Jen, Dan and Matt. Hannah, Josh, Jack and whatever girl he was with. Chris, Candy and Jamie.
Jen had had it right before. Thank God. Thank God it hadn't been them.
"Becca, honey, can I come in?"
"Sure. I'm not doing anything." Becca swung around in her desk chair with a wan smile as Jen came into her room, softly shut the door behind her. She took one look at her best friend's face and sprung up. "I was just about to go grab a coffee from downstairs, watch a movie with some people."
"Rebecca Natasha Ryan, sit right back down and stop trying to avoid me. You and I need to talk." She sat down on the edge of the bed, crossed her legs carefully. "There's something wrong, Becca."
Becca slid slowly back down into her chair. "It's nothing. There's nothing wrong."
"I'm your best friend, Becca. I've known you since high school; we've been through everything together. Break ups, your mom and dad's divorce, my pregnancy scare…shit, Becca. Don't shut me out now." Becca could see how close to tears she was, how upset she was, and in a blink was across the room and at her side.
"Jen. Jen, I haven't been meaning to shut you out. Honestly, Jen, I swear. I didn't realize I was." Her arms were wrapped tightly around the other girl. "I didn't…jeez, Jen, I didn't realize there was anything wrong."
"You've been shutting yourself away in your room," Jen pointed out, "moping around, and you've been avoiding everybody except Matt. Then every now and again – when we do manage to drag you out so you don't putrefy in here – you've got this weird dreamy look in this eye as if you're somewhere else altogether. In my books, that means there's something up, honey."
"Sorry, Jen. I just…Matt and me, we needed to sort something out."
"Shit." Jen's eyes were massive. "You're not pregnant, are you?"
"Pregnant? No!" That elicited a laugh and a smile so much more like the normal Becca that Jen breathed an audible sigh of relief. "It's just band stuff."
"Oh, band stuff." Jen rolled her eyes. "So you're writing a new song. Why didn't you just say that, honey? I'd understand when you weird out if you told me you were writing a new song."
"I don't weird out every time we write a new song," Becca retorted, her attempt to look insulted marred by the slight smile.
"Oh, sure. And that also explains why you and Matt are spending so much time together. So much more time than normal," she corrected herself. "You're writing. Or should I say getting inspiration for a new song?"
"Shut up, Jen." Once upon a time, Becca would have blushed, but she'd been friends with Jen too long. "It's not like that."
"No, it's never just like that with you two. Why can't that boy get his act together and ask you out properly? Or are you just 'Ryan' this week?"
"We're friends, Jen. Have you any idea how much us dating would fuck everything up?"
"You know your problem, honey?" Jen hugged her friend close to her side. "You spend entirely too much time with boys. You're friends, best friends; you sleep with him, but you don't date him because it would 'screw everything up'. That is such a male outlook."
"Oh, really?" Becca cocked one eyebrow. "Just to show you how much of a girl I am, how about we go shopping tomorrow?"
"Done," Jen snapped it up. "You, me, Hannah, Candy. We can get stuff for Hamish's party next weekend."
A light seemed to go out of Becca's eyes. "Jen, I'm not sure…"
"This isn't just the song writing that's making you weird, is it?" Jen lifted Becca's chin with one finger, green eyes meeting grey ones unflinchingly. "Becca, honey, it's been three months. You can't avoid parties forever just because of what happened at the last one. It was an accident, honey, and nothing you can do will change that. I know it's hell, Becca. But it's over. It's done."
"They died, Jen. God, they died." She drew in a long, shuddering breath. "It's not just the song. I remember seeing them as they left your party, checking with Chloë if she had a lift. She said it was okay, because Cam was driving and he hadn't been drinking."
"Becca." Jen's voice was stern. "You've hardly been eating, and you haven't been sleeping. You've got purple rings under your eyes – yes, I mean purple – and you've lost weight. But get this, honey. It wasn't your fault. Whatever happened wasn't on you."
"Yeah. I know that." She closed her grey eyes. "I know."
"Chloë must have been wrong, Cam was an idiot, and it cost them their lives. It wasn't you."
"I know." Becca repeated it once more before looking up at her best friend's anxious face again. "Thanks, Jen."
"You're welcome, you silly girl." Jen hugged her tightly. "So, when do I get to see this new song of yours?"
"It's not finished yet…" Becca lowered her eyes, and Jen grinned. They went through this little dance every time.
"Please…I won't tell anyone," she coaxed.
"I don't know…only Matt's seen it so far."
"Matt won't mind." She smiled winningly, let out a little cheer when Becca reached out to pull a sheet of paper free from a pile. "Jeez, honey, not very neat is it?" They grinned at each other. Perfectionist Jen versus scribbler Becca, the same game, same tease every time. Best friends.
Jen looked back down at the paper. "'It's a burn out…'" Her voice died away as she carried on reading.
It's a burn out
Fires rise to consume your dreams
It's a break down
Flames roaring to hide your screams
And I don't know why I never let you know
And I don't know why you just let it go
Because every second's what you earn
Don't race through life with naught to learn
Slow down
Stay safe
Don't crash and burn.
"'Your road has come to an end. It's not going to start again.'" Jen's green eyes scanned the page once more before lifting to meet Becca's. "Honey, it's…"
"Not finished," Becca replied softly. "I need to change the wording, need to work on it." She took a deep breath. "I'll come to the party, Jen. But I'll drive. And I'm not drinking."
Jen continued watching her mutely, green eyes bright with tears.
"It wasn't us, Jen," Becca smiled sadly. "It wasn't us, and I'm not going to let it be."
A/N: Please review! If you do I'll come check out your profile, read and REVIEW your stories... Love, Jude ;)