Yet Another Kigo Fic! – Chapter 13
By Ken-Zero
Disclaimer: Kim and everyone else in this story (with a small number of exceptions) belong to Disney. Isabel and Kane belong to StarvingLunatic, used with permission, of course. If I owned these guys, this wouldn't be fanfiction, it'd be real episodes!
Pre-story author note: I notice I've been wildly inconsistent with Shego's history. My fault; I really ought to have kept track of that. My "official" line is that she's 23 now (5 years older than Kim's good, you think?), was part of Team Go until sixteen-ish, finished her stint at Go University in two and a half years (with her criminal side coming to light around then), and thus met Kim when Shego was approximately 19, maybe 20 years old. I'll be going back to re-edit mentions of all this in earlier chapters so it stays consistent. Sorry.
Shego, in her twenty-three years, had had a lot of strange things happen around her. After all, her parents were…her parents, and every kid thinks their parents are strange in some way. Of course, it helped that Shego's were strange, but that would be another story.
Then there was the comet. That should have always topped the list of strange occurrences, but over time she'd become accustomed to it and its effects.
That Kim had been able to fight her to a standstill from a time not much after they first met was another bizarre happening. Next was finding Kim attractive…then finding Kim found her attractive. Not that Shego found either of those exactly distasteful…
With all these weird things going on around her, she should have been prepared for this.
Sadly, she wasn't.
None of those times was as shocking as finding a certain Dr. Betty Director sitting in the office with Shego's father, Kane. From Shego's perspective, Kane sat to the left, the one-eyed agent of the law on the right. The various security monitors glowed softly behind her father, showing a complete lack of activity in the entire area viewed by his systems. The two of them were even having coffee.
"Rheann," Kane said, smiling as she appeared in the door, duffel bag still on her shoulder, staring at the two with an absolutely vacant expression. "We were just talking about you before you came home."
Shego's brain finally rebooted. "Oh, really," she said, her tone a mix of sarcasm and wariness. "Nothing bad, I hope?"
Dr. Director eyed her steadily; because her eye-patch was over her left eye, she had to turn to fully face Shego. "Actually, yes," she said bluntly.
Shego rolled her eyes, her mouth falling into its natural scowl. "What's the matter, GJ? Getting scared 'cause you hadn't heard anything on me in a while?"
"Actually, yes," Dr. Director replied again, which made Shego blink in confusion. The leader of Global Justice smiled thinly. "Didn't expect that? Neither did we expect you to just…vanish."
"Yeah, well," Shego fought to regain her mental footing, "I'll bet you didn't expect me to tell you this: just leave me the hell alone. I'm done with all that garbage. I'm sure you know by now that I told Dr. D off a while ago."
"Indeed," was all that Betty said. It kind of unnerved Shego; she was expecting more.
"Rheann," Kane began, "the good Doctor came in simply to—"
"I don't give a flying fuck why she came in to see you, Daddy," she interrupted. "And stop calling me that." Her temper was starting to rise, not that it needed much provocation. She wasn't stupid enough to think her father had invited the director over, but he could have at least turned her away at the door.
"Shego," Betty put in, and Shego felt just a tad better since the name was familiar, "to be perfectly blunt, we need your assistance."
Shego was starting to wonder if her system could take repeated shocks so close together. Thankfully, though, she didn't have a heart attack or a stroke. Her elevating anger vanished instantly, though. "My assistance."
"Yes."
"Let me get this straight. GJ wants my help?"
"That would be incorrect," Betty assured her. "I want your help. Whether you choose to see it as Global Justice or not, the fact remains, I'm here unofficially."
Shego took a few seconds to think things out. If Betty Director, the head of GJ, the global crime-fighting organization, came to her personally for help, that meant she couldn't really be there in any sort of official capacity. After all, Shego still had dozens of warrants out for her arrest. That meant that if Betty were to be "official," she'd have to come with backup and some method of arresting Shego. Otherwise Betty herself could be guilty of criminal negligence in letting such a dangerous target escape the law.
The fact remained, however, that she was there, claiming to be seeking Shego's help…which meant whatever GJ was dealing with was taxing Betty's resources more than she cared to admit.
Shego put her hands on her hips. "So what would I be doing, unofficially, for your one-eyed ass?"
Betty nodded slowly. "For one, I'll want you to work with one of our agents." She held up a hand to forestall what she figured would be Shego's forthcoming objections. "I know you claim to work better alone, but in spite of your having ditched Drakken, I can't trust that you'll agree and then not walk away."
Hah! She don't know me very well, do she? Outwardly, she said, "Look, Bets—can I call you Bets? Don't say no—that's all well and good of you to be so cautious, but…haven't you watched the news recently?" She wore a soft smirk. I think today's shaping up to be pretty good already. One-upping cops in general is fun...doing it to Cyclops here would make my day any day of the week.
Betty raised an eyebrow and looked back at Kane, who was actually mirroring his daughter's expression to an extent. "Er, no," she admitted. "Frankly, it's been extremely busy at headquarters. Most of my agents have had barely the time to sleep."
"I see," Shego said slyly. She shot a look at Kane. "Daddy, if you'd be so kind."
After a second he nodded, swiveled in his chair, and typed up a few commands on his security system console. One of the monitors—a larger one, thankfully—flickered as its signal changed; now it displayed footage of Shego and Kim combating the first set of GMKCRs.
Betty watched the fight with some internal surprise, but outwardly she remained calm. Interested, perhaps, but calm just the same. Working together? Those two?
When the feed ended, Shego spoke again. "Yeah, see, I don't think you have to worry about me running away, what with Kimmie being my girlfriend and all."
Thatone got an outward reaction—from Betty and Kane both. Kane full-out grinned, the smile growing from the small one he wore earlier to its current size. Betty, though, looked like it took a second to penetrate—which it did. A statement like that certainly qualified as Out of Left Field. "Girlfriend?" she echoed after a second. It just…didn't compute. Anything else, she might have expected, and been properly skeptical about, but…wow. The sheer illogic of it derailed her higher thought processes.
"Yeah, you know. Main squeeze. Paramour. Lady-love. Sweetheart. Princess. Significant other. Better half. I can keep going…"
"No, no…I get the picture…" Betty said weakly. She could feel something of a headache coming on. "This is just…unexpected."
Shego laughed. "You're not the only one to think so."
After a minute of uneasy silence, Betty spoke again. "So be it. Now, about your assistance—"
"You still haven't told me what you want me to help with," Shego reminded her.
"I would if I wouldn't get interrupted," Betty returned. Her eye narrowed slightly at Shego.
"I suppose you're right about that," Shego granted her. "It's just so much fun."
"I know it—"
Shego made some strange noise. It sounded something like a small strangled mammal.
"Now, what was—"
There was that noise again.
"Come on, let me—"
Shego uttered a nonsensical word. It sounded like "Phuhbizbit!"
Betty just gave up for a second, glaring silently at the green-skinned ex-villainess.
Shego giggled a few seconds into the staredown. "Okay, I'm done for real," she announced.
Betty waited to see if Shego was going to do anything. When it was apparent that she wasn't, she started to speak again, still watching Shego, who was grinning like a devil. "Anyway," she grated, "I would like you to help because of who we suspect is behind this."
"Drakken, DNAmy, and Dementor," Shego stated instantly and matter-of-factly.
Betty opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. She shook her head. "You two are already way ahead of me, aren't you?" she asked ruefully.
"Eh," Shego hedged. "We've dealt with those things a couple of times now. How do you know about them without reading or watching the news?"
"Police after-action reports, mostly," the doctor replied. "As you are no doubt aware, there are not many happenings involving law enforcement of any kind that escape our notice. Sadly, that means there are a lot of happenings that we notice...and some that fall under the radar, so to speak."
"So you hack in to police nets and read over their shoulders, and sometimes they get smart and shut it off before you can read enough."
Betty glared at her again in silence, and Shego settled for her small semantic victory with a lazy grin.
"We are not above the occasional usage of vigilante methodology," Betty finally answered.
"So…thereal reason you want Princess to work for you is because she does what you do, only better."
Again Betty glared at Shego, and again Shego smirked smugly—more so than usual.
"The reason for my visit," Betty finally ground out, and Shego could see her temples pulse as the doctor spoke through gritted teeth, "was to request your assistance in any way you see fit to provide against your…former…employer and his cohorts."
"There, was that so hard?" Shego teased. She was going to pay for this later, she knew, but for right now it was so much fun! Even Kim didn't usually respond like this to this kind of teasing.
Betty took a deep breath and released it slowly before speaking. "No," she replied primly once again, her expression collected. "No, it was not."
Shego decided it was time to be serious, which in her mind was very sad because she so enjoyed keeping the other woman off balance. Probably because she feels like she runs the world…she thought. "I'll tell you what we do know. A few days ago, when they first tried these…these…oh, fuck, I'm going to gut both of you like fish if you laugh…giant mutant killer cyborg rats"—she paused, and sent up a brief prayer of thanks to whomever was listening that they at least managed to keep straight faces—"they kind of…surprised me while I was out. Kimmie swooped in after Mommy arranged a ride for her through her little hacker friend. We fought, the rats almost won, then Princess gets it in her head to climb the rats and fry their brains by letting her hacker plug in and scramble the cyborg parts."
She paused to let Betty assimilate the news. It didn't take long before the one-eyed woman motioned for her to continue, which Shego was thankful for; she was still standing, bag still on her shoulder, and she really really wanted to just leave.
"Anyway, a couple days later they try again, and this time they greased the rats and hid the cyborg parts—which means they're probably watching their creations, though I couldn't tell you if that was from inside the rats themselves or some hidden, external cameras. Probably the latter; Dr. D loves to show off, and if it really is those three, then Dementor probably tries to one-up him at every turn." She snorted a laugh. "Non-capitalist competition? Or maybe it is capitalist since they're both striving to rule the world and all. Maybe capitolist, with an 'o'...
"But that's off-topic. Anyway, so they greased the rats and hid the cyborg parts. Kimmie and I tried to repeat the same tactic and that's how we found out about the grease. I guess it looks like rosin, so it's not all drippy, but it's certainly slippery."
Betty held up a hand. "Rosin? Don't you mean resin?"
Shego stared at her. "Haven't you ever heard of a violin before?"
"Of course I have," Betty replied, looking a bit indignant.
"Okay…how do you think they keep the bows from sticking to the strings, since the bow is pretty much just hair?"
After a silent moment Betty said, "Continue."
"Right," Shego said, eyeing her strangely before doing as requested. "Princess was flying down one rat's back and I tripped it by blasting a hole in the ground so she could slide off it closer to the ground. Then, through our wonderfully thought-out and methodical approach to the problem…"
"Meaning, seat-of-your-pants quick thinking," Kane put in, with his most charming grin.
"Shove it, Daddy. With our approach to the problem, Kimmie got onto its head again and gave it a frontal lobotomy with her little laser thingy."
Betty winced slightly, and Shego caught it, nodding. "Yeah, not so great. Then, the weirdest part: the rat started to shrink."
"It shrank," Betty repeated in a deadpan tone.
"It shrank," Shego confirmed. "What, you think they showed up Godzilla-style and rampaged Go City like it was Tokyo? Nah, Kimmie and I think our Terrible Trio released the rats and zapped 'em with a growth ray or something to make 'em that big. So then she had me shoot the rats in the forehead with my plasma, and…she's such a geek…she figured out that it interfered with the cyborg parts again and shut them off, so the rest of the rats shrank, too."
Betty blinked. "That's…a pretty incredible story."
"I know it is," Shego agreed. "I was there and I still think I'm making it up. But Daddy ought to have all the news stuff on tape, if you want confirmation. Or you could just ask Kimmie."
Betty considered the idea for a moment. "No, actually, strange as it sounds, it fits with what we know of those three. Especially," she added with a wry grin, "the fact that whatever their plan is, it's likely not working, since you two seemed to handle these things pretty easily."
Shego snorted. "Easy? If we couldn't handle them they'd have rampaged through my home in a couple of hours and I wasn't about to have that, but it was a near thing. I think one building still has a me-shaped dent in it, and Kimmie almost went splat a few times."
"Very well, drop 'easily' from my description. You two still handled the situation admirably."
Shego shrugged, which had the added effect of banging the duffel bag against her side, reminding her again of its presence. "Like I said, we handled it." With nothing more to say, she wisely said nothing more.
Betty watched her for a few more moments. "So are you agreeing?"
Shego frowned. "Not to sound selfish"—here her father snorted—"but what's in it for me?"
Betty smiled thinly. "I was wondering when we were getting to that. In return for your cooperation," she went on, all business again, "I will agree to drop all outstanding federal warrants for your arrest, and arrange for those at state and local levels to close. In addition, we will allow you access to your various accounts—at least, those that we know of," she added, that thin smile back in place. "We will, however, be monitoring their usage. As well, we will require occasional updates on your whereabouts—something like reporting to a parole officer, but without the stigma."
"In other words, you're going to call Kimmie every so often to see if I'm being good," Shego responded. Privately, she was a bit shocked—well, okay, she was completely shocked—that GJ was offering her such a generous offer. Or that Bets was offering her that much. They were practically allowing her to get off scot-free, even if she did have to have Kim act like the occasional babysitter. It was…an extraordinarily tempting offer.
"In other words, you're exactly right," Betty said unashamedly. She paused for a moment. "It certainly sounds like Miss Possible has managed to tame you," she finally remarked.
"Tamed me?" Shego echoed incredulously. "Look, Bets, you know she's the only reason I'm even agreeing to you right now. I may have nixed my contract with Drakken without her help, but I certainly wouldn't be behaving like I gave a rat's ass—oh, dammit," she groaned. "Daddy, shut those off, please."
Kane chuckled as he reached behind him and ended the television footage of the fight with the GMKCRs with a single keystroke.
"As I was saying," Shego resumed, "just ask Kimmie. She'll tell you I'm hardly 'tamed.' I'm just behaving myself for her sake. I don't belly-up to anyone but her."
"That sounds like the definition of 'tamed' to me," Betty smirked.
"No, there's a difference," Shego said, a smirk of her own making an appearance. "Kimmie may have me on a short leash, but that leash only applies to her. With anyone else I'm as much of a bitch as ever before." When Betty only raised an eyebrow, Shego said, "You want an example? What if I told you no, right here, right now, to your little request, dangling carrots and all?"
"I'd be shocked," Betty remarked. "Remember, this is under the table. There will be no mention of you around HQ. As much as I may have mentioned 'we' before, this agreement will remain unknown to most of Global Justice, until the task is taken care of, at which point your terms will come to fruition, quickly and quietly. No fanfare, just a discrete set of orders."
"Drop all the flowery talk," Shego sniped. "Plain old English. You're saying this stays between you, me, and the flower pot that's been carefully swept for bugs not thirty seconds ago?"
"And, I should think, three others, yes," Betty agreed.
"Who?"
"Miss Possible, obviously. Also, my assistant, Will Du. And finally, one person at headquarters of your choosing."
"Okay, but why those last two?"
"Agent Du will know because he, at least, can be trusted to keep his mouth shut, and if we tell him he will not need to pry. Despite his flaws, he is quite observant, and could probably deduce something strange was going on. The one person of your choosing is to show you that I intend to honor this deal. I will not know who this one person is—only you."
Shego was still, to put it mildly, taken aback at that. Betty Director, the cyclopean leader of the largest underground law enforcement agency in the world, was essentially letting Shego, arch-thief, criminal sidekick and warrior of high renown, off the hook for good, all in return for helping them stop this current menace.
Somehow Shego knew she'd get roped into more, and she absolutely hated that fact. She knew they'd be able to use Kimmie to get at her, and that almost made her refuse the offer outright.
The prospect, though, of being able to walk in the open everywhere, not just Go City, with Kim was far too tempting to pass up, though…and for so little in return! Find the lair, beat the bad guys, go home and take Kimmie on the kitchen counter…it sounded like the kind of daily schedule that Shego could get used to, especially since it involved some of her favorite things—namely, travel, fighting, and Kim (well, and sex with the cheerleader, too—they may only have done it once, but that once was fantastic).
Finally she nodded. "You've got yourself a deal," she said, and quirked an eyebrow when Betty actually wilted a fraction of an inch in relief. "What's the matter, didn't think you'd get your way?"
"Frankly, no," Betty answered, running a hand through her short brown hair. Shego was beginning to suspect her two favorite words were "frankly" and "actually." "I thought this would be a much tougher battle…until you mentioned Miss Possible."
"Yeah, Princess has that effect on people," Shego grinned. "She's a good kid, though. Great in bed. You should see her when she…"
The other two occupants in the room winced, and Shego nearly cackled.
"Aww, too much for you?"
"Frankly," Betty said again, "yes. Far too much."
"And so that's about the time Betty turned six different shades of red," Shego finished.
It was much later, and she and Kim were sitting together in the student center on Go University's campus, sharing a giggle over Shego's description of the director's reaction. The space was large, easily enough to fit several hundred bodies, and that was only in the portion of the building they were in. Tables and chairs dominated the scene, as the food court was just around the corner. One of the walls was made almost entirely of glass panels, and a wide, slowly-winding staircase followed one wall to the upper floor's banquet rooms. Large, comfortable chairs lined those walls and the dividing wall between their section and the next. Kim, in one of said chairs, had one of her books open on its arm and a notebook in her lap and had been studiously working on a homework assignment for her composition class—at least, until Shego came in and found her.
Kim had asked how Shego knew where to find her, to which the older woman replied, in total seriousness, that she'd known Kim would be there instead of in her room. Mystified, Kim wondered how that was possible. Shego told her it was because of her own past experiences, those of doing the same exact routine as Kim herself, and because the Go University Recreational and Personal Study-site, or GURPS for short (a nickname that some pencil-necked geeks got good sniggers over to this very day), was an excellent place for doing any homework, with easy access to computers and classmates alike.
After watching Kim work for a while, Shego had gotten bored and decided Kim was done for the night. She notified Kim of the decision by snatching the pencil away and flipping the notebook closed, and all that was a notion the slender heroine readily agreed with. Her pencil lay in the open spine of the textbook, unused for the last hour or so as Shego relayed the details of her impromptu meeting with Dr. Betty Director.
"The best part," Shego continued, "and that last bit was good, but the best part, was when Mommy came home as Bets was leaving. Apparently they passed by each other as Mommy was walking in, 'cause when she walked in the house she asked, 'What was Dr. Director doing here, and why did she fall into the sidewalk?' That really shouldn't be that funny, but I just about died laughing. I didn't even think to bother to ask how she knew who Bets was." She chuckled a bit right then. It was as she said; the situation wasn't all that entertaining, but there was just something about it that tickled her.
"You're right," Kim said, eyeing her strangely. "It's not all that amusing." She wasn't quite sure what Shego was trying to get at.
"Yeah, I know, Kimmie, but I think it was the fact that Bets wasn't quite prepared to learn we were a couple, and then her guys took the sidewalk out from under her. You know how they do that crazy tunnel thing with you and the buffoon?"
"His name is Ron, and yes."
"Fine, with you and Ron. Geez, sometimes I think you like him more than me." She faked a pout and crossed her arms.
Kim smiled. "I've only known him since pre-K. He's been my best friend for ever and ever, but you're my one and only."
That last bit made her blush slightly, a reaction that Shego still, after a whopping five days, found amazingly adorable. She secretly hoped she always would.
"Anyway, you were saying?" Kim prodded.
"Yeah, I was. It sounds like Bets took a step and the sidewalk just wasn't there anymore. That's why Mommy said she 'fell' into the sidewalk, instead of just disappeared into it, I think." She giggled.
Now Kim could find the sitch amusing. To make the GJ leader flounder with Shego's little bombshell revelation, then to have her be so shaken as to not expect her return trip…that was a scene that would have been worthy of the record books. Or at least something like The Funniest Home Videos Middleton's Ever Seen.
Kim sighed mentally. She used to adore that show; then she'd grown up.
She brought herself back to reality. "So Dr. Director offered you, basically, amnesty for secret help with bringing the Big Three down?"
"Sounded like it," Shego agreed. She still couldn't quite believe it herself, but either Bets was desperate, or didn't consider Shego that big a threat…which was actually somewhat insulting. "But notice what she really said; it sounds like I better watch my step outside the country."
Kim blinked. "You're right, I didn't notice that until you said it. So you'll still have your warrants in the other thirteen countries."
"You got it." Shego sighed. "I accepted it, but…I'm not sure it was such a good idea."
"Why not?" Kim asked, genuinely curious.
"Well, it means they know where I am, for one," Shego replied. "And the law and I haven't really been on the greatest of terms for a lot of years now."
"What about now?" Kim asked with a grin. She even batted her eyelashes.
Shego rolled her eyes. "Still not."
"Aww," Kim pouted. "You don't like me?"
"You don't count, Pumpkin," Shego answered. "You're not the law. You're good. There's a difference."
"What do you mean?" Kim was curious. She'd always pictured herself as law-abiding enough.
"When you're on the other side, you learn to see the difference pretty quick. You fought me—well, us…"
"Mostly you, unless you're referring to the other villains, too."
"Kinda. Anyway, you fought me to stop Dr. D, sure, and all the other villains, and your goal was to save the world…but let's face it: you were mostly a vigilante."
Kim wasn't sure why, but that word stung a bit. "What makes you say that?"
"The fact that you weren't a police officer, or military, maybe?" Shego offered, her usual sarcasm making its return.
"Hey, I usually had Global Justice's backing." Kim folded her arms across her chest defensively.
"Which doesn't count for much," Shego retorted. "Let's face it, Kimmie: Aside from us—meaning, the super-Bad Guys and super-Good Guys—knowing about it, GJ's a secret. A secret police agency doesn't have much credibility with the public, you know. And since you like being lawful, you know that that means, almost by definition, being accountable to that public."
Kim blinked and lowered her arms. "Wow. Since when did you get so smart?"
Shego grinned slyly. "Fashion magazines weren't the only things I read to pass the time in Dr. D's lairs or jail cells."
"Kids these days," Kim said, shaking her head. She was grinning, too, though.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and so you know, I have no problem with you being all vigilante. It's cool. Hell, I think it shows your individuality better than working for GJ does. And you know how much I like unique."
Kim wondered, as her cheeks reddened, if there would ever come a day when Shego wouldn't be able to make her blush any more. She seriously doubted it.
"And that's why, I think, I can stomach fighting with you," Shego went on. "Oh, don't get me wrong—I'd like you either way, but if you were just gonna be a bitch for GJ then no way in hell would any amount of convincing or pouting get me to sign on."
"Well, you've got a few years before I have to make that kind of decision…but you know, you kind of have something with the whole villainy angle." Kim was surprised the second the words left her mouth; that kind of thing she'd been thinking about a lot lately, but she figured she had it well and truly under control. Apparently not, though, if blabbing it to Shego was any indication.
The ex-Bad Guy just blinked in silence for a few seconds. "…What?" Shego wasn't quite sure she'd heard that right.
"Um…nothing?" Kim offered, a sheepish grin on her face.
"Kimmie, you did not just say you wanted to be a bad guy," Shego began.
"What? No! Why would I say something like that?"
"I don't know, because if you did I'd have to fucking knock you over and beat some fucking sense into you because you would have then fucking lost your fucking mind."
Kim blinked. Sure, Shego swore, but that amount of profanity, especially in one sentence and practically every other word, meant she was really angry. And she knew from experience that an angry Shego was an intimidating Shego. Usually she could deal with that…but they weren't on a mission, and apparently Shego was personally mad at her, not professionally so. "Um…I'm sorry," she mumbled, trying to meet Shego's gaze but not quite able to lift her eyes that far. Her own gaze remained stuck at about the other girl's elbows. "I just meant it in the sense you tried to give that one time you explained it…freedom, you know?"
Sadly, Shego appeared only somewhat mollified. "You're lucky I do know, Princess," she grumped.
"Aw, you know you love me," Kim returned, grinning a little shit-eating grin. She planned on bringing out the full-force Puppy-Dog Pout if push came to...well, pout.
"You're lucky I do," Shego repeated, though a bit more of her anger had dissipated, which kind of amazed Kim even as it amused her. Shego'd always had a quick temper, being notorious for having a fuse shorter than Mego could shrink even on her days with Team Go. She also apparently could nurture a grudge for a long, long time, which made Kim relieved that she was letting it go…and a bit amazed that she could.
"I'm sorry," Kim apologized again, making her face serious again. "I really didn't mean to make you mad."
"I know, Princess," Shego sighed. "And I'm sorry I reacted like that." She wondered if they were going to stop apologizing to each other any time soon. "It's just, if you even made it close to being bad, I don't think I could take it. Then I really would have to thrash you, because that would be a really really stupid idea on your part."
"So are you saying you made a really really stupid decision when you left your brothers?"
"Hell no," Shego snorted right away. "Smartest thing I ever did. It messed me up, sure…but otherwise, would I have met you?"
Kim blushed again. The previous one had barely faded away by then.
"Besides, if you turned into a villain, what was the point of my deciding to abandon that life? I…"
She didn't get a chance to continue; the happy-minor-third trill of Kim's link to Wade interrupted her. Kim, still looking apologetic, glanced at Shego, silently asking with her eyes, "May I?"
Shego huffed and rolled her own eyes, a sure sign, if Kim had ever seen one, of "Go ahead."
Kim rotated her wrist device until the screen faced her. "What's the sitch, Wade?" she asked when her tech guru appeared on the small screen. She was thankful that the time of day meant the GURPS was far less populated than usual; she really didn't feel like dealing with fans—of which she'd discovered she had several, even on the campus of her college—hearing the distinctive tone and her normal response.
"Hey, Kim," the boy said. He looked different, somehow, to her, but she couldn't put her finger on it—not that he gave her a chance, since he continued almost right away. "Got a prelim analysis on those rats you sent over, and let me tell you, they're a piece of work, all right."
Kim beckoned Shego over to watch. "It's about the rats."
Wade, to his credit, didn't flinch when he saw the other girl's face appear on his own screen; he'd seen the footage from the last fight enough times to note that they weren't exactly on opposing sides anymore. Not that that made him feel better about her presence, but Kim could take care of herself, especially since he still rarely ventured outside his room.
Making sure he kept his voice steady, he went on. "You two were right about who's behind this; the technology involved is signature to both Dr. Drakken and Professor Dementor, and there's not another villain out there with the gene-splicing skills of DNAmy. She's got the rats engineered to be stronger, tougher, and more violent, along with the nasty stuff their skin secreted to make them slippery."
Kim frowned. "Crisco rats."
"Cratsco," Shego offered, straight-faced. Kim elbowed her.
Wade went on; he was focused on another screen as he read and so could only pay them a small sliver of attention. "Dementor's cyber-tech was used to make sure they stayed obedient, at least to them, and it also made sure they stayed large. By frying the circuits you caused the rats to lose the energy keeping them giant, and so they returned to normal."
"How'd that work?" Kim wondered. In spite of her indecisiveness for choosing a major, science-y stuff still fascinated her. Of course, so did math, and history, and languages, and…
Wade interrupted her mental list. "Whatever the ray was Drakken developed, it caused…interesting stuff to happen to the rats. I analyzed the remaining energy signatures left over after the plasma interference and found that the Growth Ray works by multiplying the number of molecules in the target, as well as expanding the amount of empty space in each atom. The net result, even on a factor of two each—that is, doubling the molecules and doubling the empty space—means the target gets sixteen times larger in all respects. And from the size of those in the videos, they're capable of a factor far higher than just two."
Shego let out a low whistle. "That's the first plan Blue Boy's come up with that's really been…well-thought out."
Wade winced slightly at the sound of her voice. "You got it. Dementor's cybernetics held the energy field in place that kept the rats expanded like that. When the energy was lost, the rats returned to their normal state, a sort of size-based equilibrium."
"Awesome, Wade," Kim said, grinning at him. "You so rock. Did you get anything else off of them?"
"Actually, two things. One, they had a sort of uplink installed in the circuitry, but I haven't figured out what it's for yet. It doesn't look like an interface to receive commands, since it wasn't connected in a transmission pattern. And two, there was this." He held up a pair of tweezers with a very small red cylinder that featured two thin, blue-plastic-coated wires coming out of it at each end. He slid a magnifying glass—no tech was too old-fashioned for good old Wade—over it, and adjusted its distance until Kim and Shego could see it clearly.
"What is it?" the two asked, almost in unison.
"It's a small, but extremely powerful, self-destruct device." Wade waggled the tweezers with which he held the cylinder. "It's just the last bit of evidence, circumstantial as it may seem, that this is actually Drakken involved with the other two."
"Makes sense," Shego reasoned. "I don't think there was ever a single lair that didn't have one of those."
"Exactly," Wade concurred.
"But…if that was in there, why didn't it go off?" Kim asked.
"Still trying to figure out the exact reasons," Wade said. "I think, though, that because you fried the uplink, it couldn't receive the command. And it wasn't wired as a deadman switch, either, which also points to Drakken."
Kim snorted. "Of course. If it blows itself up, it has to have a button. It can't just trip itself after it stops receiving a signal."
"Nope, because that would make sense," Shego agreed with a grin.
"Yeah…except we only found three of the four, and one made this nasty, godawful squishing noise…you think that one actually worked?"
"More than likely," Wade put in. "This isn't an explosive; it actually causes the rats to mildly implode. That's probably why you thought it sounded like it got stepped on."
Just bringing back the memory of the sound made Kim somewhat queasy. "Okay, that's enough of that talk," she said. "Did you get anything else out of it, Wade?"
The boy genius shook his head. "Sorry, Kim. With the electronics shorted out like this, I couldn't get anything else about it. About all there is left to get is the type of signal used to connect to the uplink, and its frequency. If I had those I could backtrack it to a lair no-problem."
"Hey, Wade, this was huge. And at least, if we see these things again, we'll know what we're dealing with inside and out."
"Right."
Kim signed off and turned to Shego, who was still crouching down with her face right next to Kim's. The younger girl placed a quick kiss on her cheek before packing her stuff into her backpack and unfolding herself from the large chair. "D'you want to grab something to eat, or just go back home to the dorm?"
Shego cocked a black eyebrow up. "Kimmie, you sound like I live there."
Motioning to the duffel bag she'd seen Shego bring in, Kim asked, "Don't you? Or rather, won't you soon?"
The greenish woman affected a totally innocent countenance. "What makes you think that I have anything resembling the supplies for a prolonged stay in here?"
"The fact that you're making that face, for one," Kim giggled. "If you'd looked angry or devious I might have bought it."
"You're too observant for your own good," Shego grumbled. "But you're absolutely right. Already parked my bike there and walked back here. That is, of course," she hazarded, suddenly and inexplicably nervous, "if it's okay."
Slightly taken aback, Kim was silent for a second. Since when does Shego do timid? she wondered. No answer came to her, though…and she belatedly realized she'd left her significant other hanging. "Sorry!" she rushed out. "Yes, yes it's fine. Please."
"'Please?' Ah, Princess, getting desperate, are we?"
"But you take such good care of me…"
That bizarre nervous expression was totally gone now from Shego's face. Instead it was replaced by full-on mischief. "Is that an invitation?"
The poor heroine, for all her world travel, still had a fair amount of naïveté—yes, even still, after the influence of the much-more-world-savvy Shego. This explained why she replied, "Um, yes?"
That look of mischief was on in full force now. Shego stood up and ran her finger along the underside of Kim's jaw. "Good. I like taking care of you."
Finally Shego's double entendre registered to Kim. She made a noise—sounding something like "Ghrk!"—and her eyes went wide. Because of Shego's proximity, though, she really didn't have any venue for escape, so she just stood there. "Shego!" she hissed, finding her voice. "Behave."
"You know you like me bad," Shego teased, but she did relent—at least, with the physical contact. "There's just something about goody-goodies being attracted to the dark side." Kim only giggled.
The two finally began the short trek back to Kim's dorm room. Along the way, they chatted about inconsequential things—Shego's college days (some more), Kim's classes, what she might major in, and so on. It was actually refreshing to both—and more revealing than either expected. They had known they already had quite a bit in common, what with their similar approaches to problems, innate stubbornness, general can-do attitudes, and mastery of physical fighting, among other things.
Finding out, though, that they shared similar tastes in movies and clothing, and some in music, weirded Kim out a bit. She'd known they got along famously before, when Shego had had her brief tenure as Miss Go, but when Shego returned to normal after Ron zapped her again, Kim figured all that was by the wayside.
Then Shego dropped a past-revealing bomb that left Kim reeling, grasping for a way to cope with this most recent revelation. It was…difficult, to say the least. The mental image she had of the other woman took a severe beating, though it barely managed to stay intact, even if only by the thinnest of margins. In fact, Kim herself barely managed to stay standing up, even if only by the thinnest of margins.
Shego looked askance at her. "Melodramatic, much?" she quipped.
Kim shook her head slowly. "Never, in all my life, would I ever have suspected such a thing of you," she said, her voice a strange mixture of awe and something else akin to fear.
"Princess, is it really so hard to believe that I used to do something like that? I mean, look at what I did until just recently. I think your little family motto"—she held up two fingers in air quotes—"could apply to just about anyone, including me, you know."
"Well, okay, but…still, Shego, don't you think you could have prepared me a bit more for something like that?"
"I'm a big believer in spontaneity," the green girl replied sardonically.
"Whatever," Kim replied, brushing it off. They resumed their walk.
Half a block later, Kim muttered, "Comic books…"
Shego sighed. "Yes, Kimmie, again, I used to collect comic books. I was akid. Kids do that. Look at you and your stuffed-animal thingies."
"Cuddle Buddies," the redhead added automatically.
"Yeah, those. You've probably got more than a reasonable amount of them. Hell, from what I've seen, DNAmy's your only rival in collection size." Kim blushed, which Shego noticed, but decided not to tease her further on it. "So why's it such a big deal that I did what I did?"
"Because," Kim retorted. "You're supposed to be a bad girl! Bad girls don't collect comics!"
Shego shook her head, an amused smile gracing her features. They were making slow time back to the dorm, which she didn't mind. It was a nice night outside, after all. "This was even before the comet, Kimmie. Although," she continued, tapping her chin as she stared up at the night sky, "I didn't really stop until Hego started the team."
"And you call me a geek."
"Youare a geek," Shego replied good-naturedly. "I never said I wasn't. I just never said I was, either."
By now they were near Kim's complex. "Are you going to go up the outside again?" Kim asked.
"I might," Shego shrugged. She was actually thinking about it; preferring not to get Kim in trouble, it really would be the safest means of entering, at least tonight, given that it meant she could easily evade even the most vigilant dorm leaders. Besides, it's not like my bag's going to make it any harder.
Kim shrugged. Somehow, she'd actually expected that answer. It would be a cold day in Hell, she figured, before Shego gave her a straight answer to a non-serious question.
She was just about to bid Shego farewell for the next seven or eight minutes when a familiar voice exploded out of the darkness.
"KP!" it shouted. "Watch out! Shego's right behind you!"
Kim didn't see anything, though the warning shout had almost gotten her into a defensive posture. Sadly, she was carrying her backpack; though she'd brought one on missions before, that was back in high school. For whatever reason, books at college were exponentially larger and heavier, and so the best she could manage now was to kind of stare while keeping her balance and avoiding falling from shifting herself so suddenly. Surprise—and a healthy amount of disbelief—kept her in one spot instead of kicking in her trademark maneuverability.
Shego was under no such load—the duffel bag was light enough, and she was far stronger than Kim anyway—and surprises tended not to surprise her very much, so she crouched into her own stance and scanned the area for the source of the noise.
She didn't have to wait long. A black-clad, blonde-haired blur zipped across the yard separating the girls from the dormitory. Shego watched it approach her, and felt an ounce of grudging respect shift into place. Definitely got his game on today.
However good Ron Stoppable's game might have gotten, though, it was still in a different league from Shego's, a fact that he discovered quickly and thoroughly.
The ex-villainess grabbed one of Ron's arms when he reached out to try and tackle her. With a twist and pull she had him even more off-balance than he'd been from his charge, and by swinging that arm down and back she took him with it, flipping him onto his back with little apparent effort. Unceremoniously she flopped down, sitting on his torso while keeping his hands pinned.
"KP! Help!" he wailed, trying in vain to throw Shego off of him.
Shego yawned mightily, even going so far as to release one of his arms to cover her mouth. He tried to take advantage of the temporary freedom, but the second he flailed the arm toward her to try and knock her off, she caught his fist in her own hand, her grip vise-like.
Kim was trying really hard not to giggle her head off.
"Ah! Scary lady with glowing green hands of fiery doom is gonna squish me to death!" Ron went on, in his usual over-the-top fashion, after his hand was caught.
Shego maintained her air of boredom. She stared off into space while Ron writhed and flexed underneath her, her eyes half-lidded and her mouth turned down in a completely disinterested half-frown.
"Kim!" Ron protested. He couldn't see her; she was standing behind his head a good ten feet back, both hands clapped over her mouth since she dared not make any noise.
Finally she sighed, able to maintain a straight face for more than two seconds. "Amp down, Ron. You'll be fine." She walked over to his side. "C'mon, Shego, off," she ordered, giving her a light push on her shoulder.
Shego grudgingly climbed off the sidekick boy. "Aww, buzzkill," she whined.
Ron blinked several times as Kim helped him to his feet, whereupon he assumed his trademark semi-hunched posture. If it hadn't been for his almost-ninja-styled uniform, Kim was sure he'd have his hands in his pockets. Regardless of how relaxed he looked, though, his face showed he was anything but; he was eyeing Kim with more than a little suspicion. "Ooookaaay…I don't see any mind control chips or anything…so who are you and what have you done with KP?"
"Me?" Kim protested. "What makes you think I'm not me?"
"'Cause she's the only one acting like normal," Ron replied, jerking a thumb back towards Shego, who ignited her hands and smiled menacingly. Ron paled and hid behind Kim.
Kim sighed again. "And you're acting like normal, too, I see."
Ron looked up at her indignantly from about the level of her waist. "I'm better! Before I'd have lost my pants, or it would have taken me five or six seconds to get back here, not two!"
This time a giggle did escape the teen hero; he had a point. "Yeah, I suppose," she offered. Then she turned back to Shego. "And as for you, can't you see he's not used to this?"
"All the better," the black-haired woman said, stalking towards Kim. Ron 'eep'ed and crouched even lower behind her.
"Just what do I have to do to get you to behave?" Kim wondered aloud. In her mind, though, she already had the perfect plan.
"Oh, I don't know, Princess," Shego said, her tone clearly gloating. "Maybe…get out of my way?"
"You'll just have to move me…Cassie."
That stopped Shego short. "What did you just call me?" she asked dangerously.
"Your name. Or would you rather I call—"
She never got the chance to finish; Shego interrupted her too quickly. "Don't say it."
"Don't say what?"
"Don't play innocent, Possible. I know what you were about to say."
"I was only going to say your name!"
Ron could only watch the goings-on in a mix of fear for his life and…utter curiosity. Oh, sure, he knew those two bantered in their fights, but this was a bit more…intimate? Eww eww eww eww wrongsick! he howled in his mind as the word conjured up things he'd really rather not think about. He had to hold himself back from physically bashing the mental images from his skull.
"Exactly. So don't!" Shego continued, snapping Ron back to the ongoing argument.
"But—"
"No!"
"But you--!"
"No!"
"Rheann!" Kim whined, her voice as pathetic-sounding as possible. It was even accompanied by one of her feet stomping and her hands, such as they could, given her backpack, forming into impotent fists.
Shego snarled, but her glowing fists went out. "That's it!" she bellowed. "No sex for a week!"
Kim gaped.
Ron…fainted.
A/N: Well. This was certainly a long one. I figured I'd have to make stuff up to get to 10 pages. Instead it just broke 16. Yay for rambling, I suppose.
Ah, and Wade. Wade, Wade, Wade. Wade, the Deus ex Machina of Dei ex Machinae (that there's the plural form). Yeah, when you want to explain something, have Wade do it, because he makes it sound plausible, and only he can use cheat codes to get the ideas straight out of the author's head and into Kim's ears. (All of that's to say that Wade serves as a really cheap way to get in some godawful explanation of these giant rats I came up with as a gag all those chapters ago…)
Anyway, hope you enjoy. Review, so I know what to do better next time. And look forward (pretty please?) to the next chapter!
P.S.: GURPS Generic Universal Role-Playing System. Look it up on Wikipedia if you don't know what it is. Also, I based the description of the university center they're in off the Oakland Center at my college. Sorry that it's not too original.