AN: I'm sorry! I know I said I'd update sooner, but then everything got a little too hectic. But the next chapter's here now. I'm sorry to leave you on the cliff edge...

This chapter was quite hard to write – the characters all decided to be awkward and wouldn't get in the right place at the right time! But hopefully it'll work, and some of your questions will begin to be answered. Thanks for the reviews, they always make me smile! I also heard that someone's started a thread on Twilighted for this story – thank you so much! My friend will be over there, so if you've got any questions she'll pass them on to me (I refuse to get an account over there, because I'd never get any actual writing done lol!)

Love, Jude ;) x

Although it's not necessary, I would recommend just quickly re-reading the last bit of the previous chapter so you can remember exactly what was going on.

She screamed once.

Her blood warmed his mouth as it flowed between them, and just as abruptly his face was gone. "I told you," he breathed. "I warned you."

"But..." ...you promised, she began weakly, and then realized that he hadn't. His only reply to her laughing request had been, you shouldn't be here.

A vibration of breath on her fingers which might have been the chill breeze:

"Becca, I'm so sorry."

Losing You

Matt hurried through the darkness towards the lake. There was a growing sense of urgency in him which he couldn't quite name a reason for; sure, Becca might have found her soda boy by now, but she'd still talk to him, right? Besides, they were playing soon. She'd have to come with him then.

Maybe he could talk to the guys, show them the new song he'd written. He'd originally started it for Sari, because that was the sort of thing a guy did for his girlfriend, right? But then it had changed, changed until it didn't sound like her at all, didn't seem to be written for Sarifina. At the time it had confused him, and because he didn't like being confused, he'd stopped.

He could finish it now, though. He could already hear the bassline beating itself out in his mind, wanted to get back to his dorm to set it all down. He'd talk to Becca first, though. That couldn't wait.

So what if it was cheesy? She'd call him out on that, but it was just the sort of thing he knew that would make her laugh, make her understand. Matt wanted to see her smile again. Wanted to be the one she was smiling for.

He had to slow down as the ground sloped, catching hold of branch protruding from a bush to steady himself and scraping his palm in the process. With a wince, he straightened, glancing around. Why would Becca have come down here? The earth underfoot was damp and slippery, and it was bloody cold.

Maybe she hadn't found her soda boy after all – maybe she'd been heading back to the dorms when Hamish saw her leaving through the back door. But why would she have done that if they were meant to be playing again tonight? Of course – she'd be back inside with the rest of the band, checking that everything was organised. There'd be some strange looks from the others when they saw her wearing his shirt, but they'd save their comments for him – then they'd give him hell over it.

Not that he blamed them. He'd been such an ass. But he was going to change that now – he was going to treat her the way in which he should have before, tell her what he realised the others already knew.

His shoes slipped slightly in the damp earth and he fell down biting back a curse; froze as he heard Becca's voice call out. Matt hadn't heard exactly what it was she said, but he knew it was her, and his heart leapt. She was nearby; but where?

Scrambling up, he glanced around in the darkness to find her; followed in the direction which he thought her voice had come from, a little further up away from the lake.

His suspicion was confirmed as a slight scream split the silence up ahead.

Becca's hurt. The thought slammed into him like a fist. Becca was hurt and he couldn't find her, wasn't there to look after her. His pace quickened, heart thudding in his throat as his searching eyes caught a glimpse of movement; two figures. He knew one of them was Becca, but then he stopped.

The low murmur of voices reached his ears; the pair was standing very close, intimately so. Matt didn't even see who Becca was with, but he could see their linked hands, the total lack of fear in the girl's face. He could see when their lips met; could see that Becca certainly wasn't resisting.

How could she have chosen this stranger over him?

It blazed like white fire through his chest, a sudden agony so acute that it left him breathless. She couldn't, she couldn't, but as he turned away blindly and began to run, he realised that he'd made the choice for her. It was his own fault, and god – god – knowing that only made the pain worse, until the choking sobs that wrenched the breath from his lungs forced him to stop and stand half bent over, hands on his knees.

They were supposed to be playing soon. Matt didn't want to have to face Becca, didn't want to stand behind her on stage while she sang songs they'd written together, smiled out at the boy she had kissed. So he straightened and continued to walk numbly back towards the dorms, the music fading with every footstep he took further away until his own ragged breathing was the only sound in the chill night air.

Every step took him further away from the agony of what he'd seen, of having to face Becca, and yet the distance made him strangely uneasy. Be careful, Jamie had warned Becca, but his eyes had said more to Matt; they'd told him to make sure she was, told him to look after her.

Well screw that. She had her soda boy to look after her now.

"Where the fuck have they got to?"

Jack and Jamie exchanged a nervous glance as Chris paced angrily back and forth, but didn't say anything. Attempting to placate him wouldn't do any good until Becca and Matt turned up; any words now would simply get the speaker's head bitten off.

"They should be here! We're meant to be playing," Chris fumed. "Why the fuck do they think –"

"Hey, aren't you s'posed to be playing again, dude?" Dan called up to his brother, one arm holding an obviously intoxicated Jen close as she giggled. "Where are Matt and Becca?"

"They've fucking disappeared!" Chris growled. "Matt's probably off with that bitch, and god only knows where Ryan's got to." He glowered down at Dan. "You haven't seen them, have you? They need to get their asses over here so we can start."

"I haven't. Jen, babe, have you any idea where Becca's gone?"

"Becca?" Jen blinked blearily, gave another giggle. "Soda."

"You're looking for Becca?" Aubrey appeared just behind her brother. "I've just been over there, she wasn't getting a drink. Sorry," she added apologetically as Chris turned his glare on her. Jamie placed a protective arm about his little sister's shoulders, scowled right back. "She and Matt were arguing earlier, though, so..."

"You don't know that they were arguing, Aub," Jamie interrupted. "And they wouldn't blow off this to fight. Ryan had hurt her hand, though," he remembered abruptly.

"Matt would've told us if he was taking her back home." Jack shook his head.

"So where –"

"– the fuck is Matt?" Candy stormed up, her face like thunder to match her boyfriend's. "I've just found that girl of his out back, crying. I don't know what the hell's wrong with her, and she's been sobbing on my shoulder. I don't even like the girl! Where is he?"

"Matt's not with Sarifina?" Jamie's face showed his surprise.

"I just said that, didn't I?"

"Well, shit." Jack glanced at the others. "Have we tried calling either of them?"

"Ryan always keeps her cell in her bag. I don't have any signal in here. I'll go outside," Jamie added quickly as Chris turned on him angrily. "Aub, you go find Hannah and see if she's seen them, okay?" The girl nodded, hurrying off into the crowd.

"I was thinking of taking Jen home," Dan murmured. "But if you can't find them..."

"No, go on. They'll be around somewhere. If Sarifina's crying, they might've broken up which means Matt and Ryan'll have probably hooked up. Asshole."

None of them needed to ask to know which one Candy was condemning.

"They should still fucking be here," Chris raged.

"I'm going out to call Matt." Jamie hastily backed away. "You coming this way, Dan?"

Aubrey reappeared beside them as they fought their way through the noisy, drunken crush to the door. "Hannah hasn't seen them," she reported. "But Hamish overheard, and said that Matt was looking for Becca a little while ago, thinks that he followed her out the back."

"Great," Jamie groaned. "Where've they gone, if not back to a dorm to fu–" He cut himself off quickly, glancing at his little sister, but Aubrey just rolled her eyes.

"You're as bad as mom, Jay. I do know how swear, you know."

"Whatever," he shrugged as they made their way out of the front entrance, a blast of cool air hitting them and causing Jen to complain loudly.

"Why are we outside? I want to go back in, Danny. Where's Becca? I want to know if she got her soda yet."

"Sure she did," Dan soothed her, shooting a warning glare at Jamie who had already opened his mouth to mock Danny.

The other boy gave a lopsided grin, and Dan groaned to know that it was something that would definitely be brought up later. For now, though, Jamie merely pulled his cellphone from his pocket to scroll down to Matt's number, taking a few steps further from the building so that they music was a little quieter. Aubrey followed, shivering in her thin shirt, and he drew her automatically closer with one arm.

Matt picked up after the fourth ring, his voice oddly gravelly. "What?"

"Matt, where the hell are you? We're meant to be playing, and Chris is having a total pissing fit 'cause you're not here."

"I don't feel too great. I was going to head back home." His voice was flat, and there was no booming music in the background, which told Jamie that Matt had already gone. He scowled, and Aubrey shot him a worried look which he ignored.

"Well fuck, dude, couldn't you have told us this before you decided to go awol on our asses?"

"Sorry." He didn't sound sorry, he sounded pissed.

"Thanks. Nice of you to bail on us. Are you okay, though? You sound kinda off." The speaker was fuzzy, but there was a muffled background sound that could have been a sort of strangled laugh. "Dude, is Ryan there?"

A short pause. Then –

"No," Matt replied.

"Do you know where she is, then? And is she okay, her hand –"

"Why the fuck would I know?" he exploded through the cell. "I'm not her keeper."

"I was just –"

"Well don't."

Another pause, as Jamie wasn't quite sure what to say in return. Matt didn't sound right, his lack of concern for Ryan – when clearly she couldn't be found, and the others were worried enough to be calling him to find out – was utterly uncharacteristic. It was Matt who broke the quiet at last. "Does Jen know?"

"Jen doesn't know anything, she's completely pissed. Still thinks Ryan's gone off to get a soda."

No reply.

An uncomfortable quiet.

"I'd better get back to the others. By the way, Matt, Sarifina –" But the other boy had already hung up.

"He so knows where she is," Aubrey murmured as Jamie stared speechlessly at the phone in his hand. "Seriously, why are you friends with him? He's a complete dick."

"He's not," Jamie defended him. "Well, not completely."

Aubrey's lack of reply was rather pointed.

"Did you get hold of him?" Dan was still waiting by the building when they got back to him; he was gently holding up a very pale Jen. "Where is he?"

"Gone home."

"Asshole. Where's Ryan?"

Jamie shrugged. "She –"

A scream rung out, and they froze.

It cut through the night air in chilling agony, making the three – Jen was still staring blearily at the ground – turn to scan the darkness. Aubrey clung to her brother, abruptly terrified, and Jamie's fingers were tight around her arm in return.

"What the fuck?"

"That isn't good." Dan shook his head, drawing Jen even closer in automatic defence. "That didn't sound good."

"Someone's hurt, Jamie." Aubrey turned massive eyes on Jamie. "Someone's –"

"Why is Becca screaming?"

The boys' heads snapped up, eyes meeting in a mutual terror. They hadn't recognised the voice, hadn't thought who it could be, until Jen voiced the thought.

"Why is Becca screaming?" she repeated insistently.

"Shit. Shit, fuck. That's Ryan."

They stared at one another in frozen silence for a moment longer; the scream didn't come again, and somehow that was worse.

Another moment passed, and then they swung into action. Jamie pushed Aubrey back towards the building, turning to stride out into the darkness, but his sister clung to his arm. "Jay, you can't go out by yourself!" she cried.

"It's Ryan!"

"It could be you. I'm coming with you."

"You're not coming with me, Aub!" he roared.

"Aubrey, get the hell inside and get the others," Dan ordered. "Jamie, I'm getting Jen inside and then I'm coming with you. Wait for me!" But Jamie had already taken off at a run towards the lake, in the direction from which the scream had come.

"Where's Becca?" Jen's voice was plaintive. "Where is she?" And then she begun to cry.

Matt hung up, turning his cell off straight away so Jamie couldn't call back.

He arrived back at his dorm, shrugging out of his shirt and flinging it angrily into the corner before falling face down on the bed, only to jerk back up as if startled. His pillow smelt of Sarifina. With a curse, he flipped it over and lay back down.

He was tired, and his head ached from the alcohol high which was beginning to wear off, and his eyes were stinging as if he was about to cry. But Matt wasn't going to cry. He wouldn't.

He fell asleep fighting tears, and if there was a salty trail on his cheek when he woke, nobody saw it.

He dreamt that he had gone back to the party, and Becca had come to find him. She had slipped her arms around him, and neither said anything because there was nothing to say. People were running around them in confusion, searching for Becca, but they couldn't see her because she was dancing with him. When the sirens began, because Jamie had called the cops, Matt took a step back to tell them that Becca was all right, that she was here – but all at once she was too far away, falling backwards, and the sirens were getting louder. "Becca," he tried to say, "I love – "

But then he woke up, and the sirens were still screaming outside, and Becca was gone.

Please review! Let me know what you think, any theories about what's going to happen, and where the Cullens will fit in – because I think they're going to appear soon... J ;) x