Dear Diary,

Apparently, Sarge dislikes Grif intensely because he is insubordinate and hates work. Big surprise. Any way, Sarge is ordering me to train the rookie while he continues his insane experiments. I swear, sometimes I think I should be leader and reform this base to make it more efficient. Well, I've got to go. Grif's training starts in a few minutes.

Love,

Dick Simmons.

Training

Day 1

"Grif, as of right now, I am you training officer."

"Whoopdi-Fuckin-Doo. Hey Simmons, were cool right?"

"Right?"

"So, how bout you tell Sarge I finished training instead of going through all this trouble, just to re-teach me everything I learned in basic."

I couldn't believe this rookie, he wanted to skip training. Normally, I would tell Sarge and have him demoted to some crap job, but he is the only one in this canyon who isn't a blue, or a disturbingly erratic sergeant. I had to think of my own sanity.

"Grif, training is an important thing in the military. What if we didn't train for WWI?"

"The British would've used their air force to destroy the forward artillery of the German front line and then had Russia come in with the tanks and blow the hell out of them."

This guy is as smart as me! I better not let Sarge find out; otherwise my talent will be wasted trying to compete with this guy.

"Grif that's stupid. Where would you get such a ridiculous idea?"

"From the internet."

"Wha- Where did you get internet from? Were on an alien planet"

"I've got Verizon. Can yo-"

"Don't finish that sentence please. We should be getting your training done anyway."

And so, after another twenty minutes of argument, we finally finished training.

He was right though, Sarge just makes us do the exact same stuff that we did in basic.

"Ladies, front and center on the double!"

"Yes sir" cried the soldiers in union.

"I thought you were insubordinate?"

"I like my knee capes too much to lose them again."

"Now as you know, our annual attacking of the blues is tomorrow. So I feel it is important to acknowledge the fact that we now have dead weight on our side."

"Hey!"
"So, with that in mind, Simmons, I want you to use Grif as a shield while I…"

Meanwhile……….

Along the ridge, two Spartans standing side by side are using the best surveillance tech on the blue team, using there acute sense of hearing, and being the perfect spies.

"How come I never get the damn sniper!?"

Or maybe not…