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MINOR SPOILER WARNING FOR EPISODE 3 AND EPISODES 50-51!

Wings of Wax

Equivalent Exchange

Equivalent Exchange. Two simple words to describe such a complex law. You can not gain without sacrifice. There is nothing to create without equal exchange.

Something to complicated for me to grasp.

I knew the laws. I knew everything about them. For hours I could talk about them. But I could not comprehend their meaning as is apparent. It all came so easy to me… like breathing. I could transmute in my sleep if I wanted to, calculate the input and output of the transmutation in a second. No one could best me. I was a prodigy!

But I was too full of myself.

I thought we could do it. I honestly thought we could surpass the laws, spit in God's face and proudly display our longest finger(1).

But we were wrong, so very wrong.

We had assembled all the ingredients, spent months on the formula, set up the perfect time. It was textbook up to that point. We each gave a drop of blood; out exchange for her soul. Our mother's soul!

I still have nightmares from that day.

I was taken before the gate of truth. Surrounded by white light. The truth was inside… everything I could possibly want or look for was inside… the secret to bringing mom back was inside… Al was inside.

I needed back in that gate.

I beat the doors. Surely the gate would open again for me, to share with me the rest of the knowledge I needed. The real secret to human transmutation…

But that's where my wing's of wax melted.

It demanded payment. Payment for what it had shown me. I didn't understand. What could I possibly have that the gate would want? What could I possibly offer do for it? What could I pay it?

I found out really fast.

The pain was nauseating. My stomach never stopped turning. I could feel myself growing faint… my vision tunneling with the loss of blood. But I was the big brother. I had to check on Al. He mattered more than anything else. I looked up.

He was gone.

But the terror of losing my only brother… the last of my family… was temporally drowned out by the ghost of hope. Then horror.

That wasn't our mother.

I knew then the mistake that I had made. I also knew how to fix my gravest of errors. I was the only one who could rectify this situation.

I had to.

I knocked over the old suit of armor in the corner, removing the head and then dipping my fingers in the blood that flowed freely from my leg. I drew the symbol on the inside of the armor… on my arms… my forehead… my heart. Screaming, I activated the circles…

And bought him back to me… I'm so selfish.

By this point in the process, I was so high off the endorphins(2) that my body was releasing to dull the pain in what was left of my right arm and left leg that I was half crazed. I was giggling ruefully at the mess I had made, tears pooling in my eyes. I felt Al pick me up. I spoke to him… but I can't remember what I said.

All became a blur.

I can remember, vaguely, in the back of my mind the cool drops of rain on my face. Al had hurriedly bandaged my arm and leg (I could feel the dizzying pressure from the wraps) and was actually trying to save me.

He should have let me die for what I did.

I recall Winry… and Aunt Pinako. The cool sting of the sedative as it would it's way through my bloodstream, effectively knocking me out.

I survived.

The next few months meant nothing. I had no fight left in me after what I had caused. I had given up ever being normal again. Given up on life. Given up on Alchemy. Given up on Al.

I became a shell.

But, through it all, Al never gave up on me. He even tried to encourage me. He tried to force me to fight… to live… to not give up on myself.

But soon, he too, started to break.

For months I sat in that empty state of awareness. Never talking. Never thinking. A ghost of my former self.

Until he came.

He changed my perspective. Put the fight back in me, the spark in my eye. Gave me the hope that one day I would be able to return what I had taken from Al. He forced me to actually think.

And I did.

Years I spent looking for that cursed stone with Al. Years of traveling, hoping, laughing, crying, pain, fighting, worrying, and loving.

And I set things right.

I'm here now. I'm bringing him back, returning him. He saved me, it's only right I returned the favor. Equivalent Exchange.

I think I finally understand.

(1)- I'm hoping that this matches Ed's character well enough. I tried to really capture his condescending anger that he had when he was younger and his feeling of invincibility.

(2)- Endorphins are basically your bodies natural painkillers. They're ten times better than morphine in some cases. They can numb all pain to the point that you could have a broken leg and walk normally in the right conditions.

A/N: This was basically a character-development practice writing thing for me. I also tried to apply some of the writing styles I learned in English class. Overall, I think it came over pretty well. It's one of the stories that you kinda have to delve into to glen every bit of information, I hope you enjoy it!

FYI, I'm going to hold a writing contest soon, but it'll be slightly different than most and it won't be fanfiction writing mostly. It'll be more like an essay in which you use examples from whichever fandom you want to use. It'll be difficult to, just to warn some of you. If you want to be included, PM me and I'll add you!

Happy reading!
EdElricFan1001