Authors notes:
Hello again, this is the second instalment. This instalment is the same as the first, but in reversed perspective, hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks all you guys that have review or added this as one of your favourites and so on. It was a nice experience, it was fun writing it, mostly, and I really enjoyed your support!
Love B
So be it – 2nd instalment
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Remus didn't know how he got himself into this position. He didn't know when these feelings, which were now enveloping his entire senses, had started to wrap themselves like Deathly Snares around his heart. He couldn't explain why he hadn't pushed him away, why he hadn't punched him or at least tried to joke about it. Saying that he wasn't serious. Except, he was serious. He was Sirius. And not only was it Sirius who was pushing him hard against their dormitory wall, not only did he have his lips against his, but it was Sirius that was caressing Remus' face with such tenderness that it made Remus loose his balance, and in the process loose himself into the embrace.
He was kissing his best mate, a boy, and not only was it a great kiss, a mind-blowing kiss, that made his legs turn into jelly and forced him to wrap his arms around Sirius neck to support himself, but it didn't disturb him. He was kissing his best friend, who he up until this very moment, had never even thought of kissing, had never even thought of in another way that pure friendship, but from that moment on he couldn't imagine ever wanting to stop thinking of him in that way. As their tongues battled as he gripped him and moaned, and Merlin knows what else, it made such perfect sense to him that he couldn't let his mind catch up with him. For would he, he would step away. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. Sirius, fun loving, beautiful Sirius. How couldn't he have known, how come it had taken him 7 years knowing him, before he could know himself? And why, oh sweet Merlin why, hadn't he thought of kissing Sirius earlier? Now as he stood there, 7 years since the first time they met, being pushed into the wall with a growing urgency from his friend, he let himself feel what he'd probably always felt, and it blew him away. He felt such love, such love for him.
Suddenly Sirius grabbed his head with one hand, enabling him to kiss him more passionately, while gripping Remus' hands in his other. Remus gasped into the kiss wanting to wrap his hands around the wonderful boy, push himself against the boy. But Sirius gripped his hands and trapped Remus in his embrace by forcing his hands above his head, and Remus wasn't bothered about it at all. In fact, Remus could think of no other thing he'd rather be doing at that time. He was becoming more and more out of breath as Sirius became more and more aggressive. Still, even though Sirius was kissing him hard, the grip on his hands was not. Remus could've easily removed them from their position above his head, but he didn't.
When Sirius finally let go of his hands, he squeezed them and pushed them further into the wall before releasing them. Remus understood the message, even though Sirius hand wasn't trapping them, they should stay put. Sirius let go of his neck as well and let both of his hands run down Remus' chest. Remus was embarrassed to hear himself whimper and gasp as hands explored his chest and stomach. He felt Sirius grin against his lips and groaned when the latter bit his lower lip playfully. He had never been so filled with feelings for another before. He'd rarely gotten the chance to get close enough to someone to actually allow them anything other then just kissing, if even that. Funny how he was letting Sirius do all these things he'd never done before, although he wasn't quite sure what he felt about it.
But then Sirius slipped his hand inside Remus' shirt and he didn't care that he'd never thought of Sirius as anything other than a friend before, just as long as he continued to touch him like that.
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Remus had started to touch him, hesitant at first, as if to make sure he wouldn't push him away, but Sirius longed to feel Remus' hands on him. So when the werewolf brushed his hands over Sirius' arms he had to hold the moans in, he had to force himself not to come from simple touching, he don't think he could've stood the shame. But then again, he'd waited for this moment for years, no, not waiting, waiting implied that he'd known that this was going to happen; he surely didn't know that this was going to happen. Had he known that he'd be kissing, touching and hearing all these things from Remus, his addiction for the past couple of years, had he known that on the 19th of December 1977 he would be kissing Remus John Lupin, he... He would've thought he'd gone mad, for why would Remus, the smartest, the most beautiful, the best person he knew, why on earth would he kiss him? He couldn't explain that.
But Remus was touching him, he had trailed his hands down Sirius' back and suddenly he'd pressed Sirius close, crushed him against him, and kissed him with more passion that Sirius had thought possible. He groaned and slipped his thigh between Remus' just to get a little bit closer, just a little bit nearer the most precious thing he'd ever had. He had been hard since Remus had fallen on top of his during the snowball fight earlier that evening, but when he ground his hips into Remus' he felt, for the first time, that Remus was in a similar state. His eyes widened, Remus was excited because of him and it made him want him even more.
He ground his hips into the boy breaking the kissing they'd been enveloped in for the past minutes, making Remus groan at the loss but them he started to whimper as Sirius started to kiss his way down his throat. Nibbling, kissing, trailing Remus' scars until he came across a barrier, oh how he hated the fact that Remus always wore all of the school uniform. He growled as he tugged the material, stupid prick who'd invented these tools of evil. He might've laughed at the thought that vests were tools of evil, if he hadn't been so damn frustrated with it at that moment. He was interrupted from his strange thoughts when Remus raised his arms above his head. Oh, clever, smart, wonderful boy. Sirius came close to ripping the clothes of his head, just to get the garment out of the way. And then he was kissing Remus' neck again and that time he didn't stop at the neckline, no, he proceeded with unbuttoning all his shirt buttons while kissing his way over Remus' chest, he followed a particularly harsh scar from his right chest up until he reached the end of it, up by Remus' right ear. There he lingered to nibble his earlobe making Remus moan. Merlin how he loved the noises he made.
And then before he knew what he was doing he'd moved his head back to Remus' chest and wrapped his lips against one of his nipples.
"Ah!" Sirius felt Remus arch against him, felt his knees weaken and he held the boy close, supporting his weight as he continued to bite and kiss it, brushing his teeth against it making Remus cry out. Sirius was positively sure that he would be able to find release in just hearing Remus' replies to his exploring, but this wasn't the time to find out. Suddenly he felt a hand beneath his chin and he was pulled away, pulled away from the intense pleasure he'd had in torturing the werewolf. He was pulled up to look into Remus' face. Merlin, he was a sight to behold. His lips were bruised from his hard treatment; his cheeks were red with pleasure. But the thing that amazed Sirius the most was, as always, his eyes. It was still a week until the full moon but Remus' eyes were starting to adopt the colour of the wolf's eyes. They grew more and more yellow as the moon drew closer, but at this moment they were still more brown then yellow and darker than usual. Sirius thought that one of Remus' most beautiful features was his eyes. And he realized that he loved the fact that Remus was a werewolf too, he hated how it hurt him, he hated the fact that he'd have a hard time after graduating from Hogwarts because of it, but Remus would never have been Remus, if he hadn't been a werewolf. So, in conclusion, Sirius loved the wolf too. Oh, Merlin he loved Remus.
His head was being held gently in Remus' hands. It was a loving gesture, and then Remus leaned in and kissed both of his eyelids before brushing his lips against his. Sirius wanted to give him the same treatment. So, naturally, he did. He took his face into his hands and kissed Remus' eyelids in the same fashion as Remus had earlier. Remus turned his face into Sirius' palm, brushing his lips against it before looking back at him.
"You just might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" The words escaped him on their own will but at Remus reaction he wanted to say them all over again. He turned scarlet all over and gave him a look that made his stomach do flip flops. He couldn't quite believe that Remus was looking at him like that. So wanton. "You don't know what you do to me"
Sirius didn't understand how those words could've affected Remus that much but the moment he'd said it Remus immediately touched him, really touched him, not the hesitant ghosts of touching he'd been doing since Sirius had kissed him. The hands moved from his lower back to the front, Sirius moaned appreciatively when Remus kissed his neck and started to unbutton his shirt. He gasped at Remus' persisting touches. And to his surprise Remus grew more and more urgent in his kisses and he couldn't help letting whimpers escape him at the abuse. He let his hands fall to his sides; it was a submissive act on his. He just couldn't focus when Remus was touching him like this, he could hardly breathe.
And then to his immense surprise Remus, the kindest most loving person in the world, snarled. Snarled? Like a wolf¸ he'd never heard anything like it escape Remus' lips before and Sirius looked up in surprise, slightly worried. And then he was pushed roughly in the chest and had to take several stumbling steps away, he couldn't help but be hurt, was he pushing him away now? But then Remus put a hand against his naked chest and pushed him backwards until his knees hit his bed and suddenly it was another sort of feeling that was enveloping him. He had just awoken the wolf. He couldn't be sure how he'd done it but all the same, the look that Remus gave him when he'd fallen onto the bed, was a look of outmost hunger, a look that said that Sirius had just presented himself as omega male while Remus had taken the position of Alpha. The thought made him burn. He looked up from his position in the bed and suddenly he was pinned down, his hands above his head and Remus' knee deliciously positioned between his legs. And it was Sirius time to be embarrassed by the noises he was making. He'd never imagined that Remus could be an alpha wolf; he certainly wished that he was, but never thought. And now, oh sweet, sweet Merlin, he was being kissed and bitten and nibbled until all rational thoughts flew out the window.
"Mine..." Sirius thought that he'd imagined it, the whisper of a word against his throat but then Remus pulled back and stared wide-eyed at him. And Sirius realized that Remus had said it, and was now ashamed of the words. Remus pulled back and avoided his eyes.
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He couldn't look at him. He'd never been so embarrassed, so petrified. "I'm sorry" it was whispered and he was suddenly terrified at what Sirius might think, might say. Remus had never ever done anything alpha in his entire life, and then... Now? Why now? Remus was twisting his thoughts over and over, trying to make sense into the comment. He'd always thought he'd be an omega wolf, submissive, he was as a person. And then he thought of Sirius and he just wanted to... pounce.
"Sorry for what?" Remus looked over at Sirius in surprise. He had sat up too and was frowning at him tilting his head to the side, looking very much like a dog at the time.
"I... You heard what I said..." Remus blushed, and avoided his eyes. He heard Sirius shift on the bed and started when he felt arms wrap around his waist and a raven-haired head against his shoulder.
"And you thought I would be upset about you being an alpha male?" Sirius whispered against his skin, kissing his collar bone holding him close. Remus closed his eyes, how could he understand so perfectly?
"I..ye-...are you?" He had to force himself to say it, to admit that he was worried, that he was vulnerable. Even as his subconscious told him that he was alpha, when it came to... sex.
"No. I'm not upset." Sirius said, and Remus was sure he could hear the smile on his face. Why was he smiling? "If I was surprised?" he was whispering in his ear. "Yes." Hands were moving against his abdomen pulling the shirt apart and off. "Disappointed?" He threw the shirt away, slipping hands over erect nipples, making Remus sigh deeply. "Merlin no. No, no, no" It was spoken with such feeling that Remus suddenly got the idea that Sirius liked him being alpha male...
"You're not?" He knew that he wasn't. He'd heard it in his voice, the complete honesty it spoke, but... he had to know, he had to hear it. Sirius was kissing his neck slowly, deliberately. He'd stopped for a second when he'd asked the question and Remus was frightened that he'd pushed him too far, but then he slipped his arms around him, encircled him, held him close.
"I'm not..." Remus looked over his shoulder to look the boy in the face. Sirius was looking at him, but not like he usually looked at him. This gaze adored, loved, caressed. Remus shivered. To think that Sirius was capable of looking at him like that... It was unbelievable. "Merlin Remus. Don't you know?" Remus looked at him, slightly confused. What didn't he know? That he didn't have a problem with his sexual nature? He hoped not, he wanted them to explore it further.
"I've dreamt about this, I've dreamt about this for years, I've imagined touching you" He caressed his face. "I've imagined telling you how I feel. But I never actually thought that this might happen." Remus couldn't believe what he was saying. Sirius? Sirius had dreamt about this? For years? "I love you" Remus frowned at him, what? Loved? Sirius Black, the player? He loved him? He loved him? He loved him? "I've been in love with you for years... Since... Merlin I don't know"
Remus was having the must peculiar thoughts, he kept thinking about a moment the year before. Sirius had been snogging a 7th year girl, Remus had been sitting in the couch across from theirs and he'd been doing his potions essay. He'd been annoyed, and he'd had the feeling that he was being watched, he kept looking up and seeing that Sirius was looking at him only to look away and redouble his kissing of the girl. At the time he couldn't understand Sirius' behaviour or why it had made him feel so upset...
"You still don't believe me?" Sirius said slowly, smiling at him. Suddenly Remus found himself pushed against the bed in the very similar position that Sirius had been minutes before. "Let me prove it to you" Remus shivered at the promise those words held. Sirius caressed his abdomen and kissed his neck "Let me show you how I feel." Remus groaned and arched into his touch, thankful that Sirius had some knowledge of these sorts of things before, because Remus couldn't summon a single comprehensible thought at the moment.
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