Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! All eight of you! LOL. I hope I get some more! I love you and appreciate it very much!

HBP- LOL. No, I'm a horny 17 year old girl whose sex life has been put on hold. But that's not why I write this. LOL. Love ya!

Falros- I don't know. Quidditch could maybe build some muscles, especially for the beaters and the keeper. The reason I put it in there was because so many people use it and it gets on my nerves. Glad you like the story!

Jessibelle- I have put in your request. I hope it is to your liking. LOL. I do think you're over-analyzing the anatomy thing. Yes, I did already know that but I assumed that more of the readers would get the joke if I said vagina instead because it is true that a lot of people don't know that. I actually re-wrote that sentence many times before I got to that sentence. I wanted the readers to realize what I meant. LOL.

Chapter 2: The Green and Gold Chapter

Hermione stirred awake and looked around. She felt silk under her body and satin under her head. She pulled herself up and got a better look at her surroundings. The walls were painted green with silver trim and the bed she was in matched it. Everything in the room seemed to be either green or sliver and there were snakes carved in everything that was could be carved. Hermione almost threw up all over the neat bed.

"Good Lord," she said to herself. "I've died and gone to hell."

She jumped a little when Draco entered the room carrying a basin of water and a washcloth. He knelt beside her and dipped the green washcloth in the silver basin. He rung it out and dabbed her forehead gently.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked as she slapped his hand away.

"I'm being sensitive," he answered, he moved to dab her forehead again.

She squirmed backwards on the bed and gave him a confused look. Though his voice was the same one that should have been making her grab the blankets on the bed and bite her bottom lip to keep from yelping, it did not have the same effect as before.

Draco sighed and placed the washcloth in the basin and put it on his bedside table. "I've overcome my mean, evilness and am now on the Light side and completely kind and generous and loving."

"Oh," was all Hermione could say. Her heart was melting at the kind wonderfulness that was the new Draco Malfoy. Sparkling butterflies flew into the window as soft angelic harp music fluttered about their ears and a rainbow became visible over the beautiful glow that was Draco's face.

Hermione snapped out of her trance brutally and yelled, "Hold it!" The butterflies scurried out of the window, the rainbow evaporated, the music disappeared, and Draco's face dulled. "I can deal with you being drop dead gorgeous. I can even deal with you being unbelievably and unnaturally sexy. And I can probably deal with your voice having the sexual grace of one Luther Vandrose but I cannot deal with you being…" she paused as her face contorted into a disfigured look of disgust, "…nice."

Draco stood and began walk out of the room. Before he got even a centimeter out of the room when he turned around again and said, "Why?"

"Because," she replied, "you being horrible is part of your appeal. If you're nice then everything is taken down a notch and then you're just Oliver Wood."

Draco turned as green as his walls. His entire demeanor changed in just that one second and he looked at her in disgrace. "What are you doing in my room on my bed you disgusting, dreadful, despicable Mudblood? Get off my bed! Now I'm going to have to burn those beddings!"

Hermione smiled in contentment. Her body's reactions to his voice were now back to their old habits. "That was a lot shorter than your usual nasty insults," she stated.

"I ran out of mean words that start with D," he answered. "Now get out!" He pointed to his bedroom door.

Hermione pushed herself off the bed and stood. "Goodbye," he said coldly. Hermione's knees buckled and she fell to the floor. "NOW!" Draco insisted.

Hermione lay facedown on the green carpet. "Well, if you'd quit talking maybe I could!"

Draco said nothing as she took her hands and pulled herself out of the room. She lay on the floor trying to regain control of her orgasmic urges. When she finally did she got up and wobbled to her room. She pushed the door open slowly and was blinded by the shine of gold that bombarded her eyes. She fought her way through the extremity of the brightness and was able to reach her bed when her pupils had adjusted to the illuminating brightness of the gold paint.

She looked around her room when she was finally able to make out the objects that were amidst the gold glare. It looked pretty much like Draco's room except instead of being a pompous green and arrogant silver it was a brave scarlet and heroic gold. She had a dresser and a closet. The bed was soft, gold and scarlet, and of course heart-shaped. It would also vibrate if you bounced on it. She sighed as she looked over at her school books that lay neatly on her desk. Even though she'd changed in almost every other way, she was still very much into her school work and books because the authors feel that changing that particular characteristic would be too far from canon.

She rolled over and looked at her beautiful model-thin reflection. Soft sappy music began to play as she stared at herself. She raised her arms slowly as she began her interpretive dance but there was a knock on the door and the music screeched to a halt. She climbed off her organ-shaped bed and went to open the door. Ron stood there with a bowl of assorted fruits and a large banner saying "Welcome Back Kotter."

"Kotter?" Hermione asked confused. "What the…?"

"I didn't have any money for a new banner," Ron began, "because I'm sad and poor and lonely because I'm sad and poor." He pouted and she hugged him tightly whilst pushing her breasts into him, exactly what he'd planned. Ron made a mental note to put his pinky finger by his mouth and laugh evilly later. He entered Hermione's room and placed the banner on her bed.

"So how is it here in pit of hell with Satan himself?" Ron asked as he sat on her bed.

"Eh, not so bad," she replied sitting down beside him.

"Hermione?" Ron said calmly.

Soft, romantic piano music began to play in the background.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know if it's because your wearing skimpy clothes, or your smooth hair, or your huge breasts, but I'm think in love with you."

Hermione paused at these words. She trembled as she turned to look at her best friend. Her friend that saved her from a troll. Her friend that protected her from Draco's mean name-calling. Her friend that she followed into the Whomping Willow to help when what they then thought to be an evil dog attacked him. Her friend that got jealous because she was with another guy. Her friend that helped her fight Death Eaters. Oh, and Harry was there too. The author just felt she should mention these things to show that she had in fact read the books.

Ron leaned in slowly and their lips were so close that she could've seen the metal particles on his braces, if he had braces and she had eyes on her lips. Hermione gasped and turned around. "I can't, Ron," she said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm afraid it would ruin our friendship," she answered. "I don't want to loose you." Tears welled up in her eyes but her face remained completely beautiful. "I…just…can't…do…it…Ron!"

"Okay."

"No!" she yelled. "Don't try to change my mind. It's made up and there's nothing that you can say or do that will make me feel differently."

"Alright."

"Quit begging!" she screamed. "I'm sorry Ron but I can't ruin what we have."

"I understand."

"Oh, Ron!" Hermione blubbered. "Why do you have to be so persistent? I said no and I mean no!"

"Okay," Ron said, looking at his friend like she was a chicken with her head cut off.

"Ron!" Hermione yelped shrilly. She flung herself on the redhead and sobbed into his muscular shoulder. "I love you, too, Ron. But I just don't know what I would do if we broke up. So…so I think you should probably go." She pulled away and sniffled.

Ron got up and took one last glance at her. She fell to the floor and gasped for breath as she cried and sobbed into her scarlet carpet. He shook his head and left the room. She remained crying on the floor for a few minutes until she got up and looked at her bed. She burst into more extreme tears and hurled herself onto it. The impact of her body triggered the vibration sequence.

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