Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers. I love you dearly!

luna-tonks- Well, as you see I did slash in this chapter and I just don't think I could stand to do anymore of it. I don't have a problem with homosexuality but I don't like to see/read/write about it. But thank you for the suggestion and please keep suggesting things. I'm glad you heart this story.

Jessibelle- Yes, it is Vandross not Vandrose. And I knew that. But twas a typo. Ah, well…

I don't read slash so this was difficult to write. But I had a friend tell me some of the clichés. I thank her very much. I don't think this chapter was that funny. But tell me what you think. I understand if you want to skip this chapter because of the fact that it deals with homosexuality but I do recommend that you at least read the last paragraph because you may be a little confused in later chapters if you don't. Those of you who do read slash please tell me how I did. Thanks.

Chapter 3: The Gay Chapter

"You're gay!" Ron and Hermione gasped in unison to their friend.

"Maybe," Harry mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. "I'm so very confused."

"What do you mean maybe?" Ron burst. "Either you are or you're not! You don't like…fancy me do you?" He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Harry gave a small laugh at the way his best friend was acting. "No, Ron. If I am gay, I don't think redheads are my type."

"Homosexuality can be a very difficult and complex thing," Hermione started smartly. "There are some who are completely gay, while others are bisexual. And some like to be on the receiving end of sex because they feel that since they aren't the ones inserting the penis"

"No more of that!" Ron shouted whilst covering his ears with his hands.

"Oh, come on Ron," Hermione continued. "In this day and age talking about male on male sexual relations should be no problem. I mean most men have had situations where they've thought about what it would be like to have sex with another man and"

"Do you want me to hurl?" Ron interrupted. "'Cause I'll do it. Right here."

Hermione rolled her eyes. She looked back at Harry and said, "Have you experimented with anyone yet?"

Harry shook his head.

"Well, I think you should go to a gay bar. You can meet someone and maybe it'll help you find out if you're really gay or not."

Harry nodded.

"And we'll go with you," Hermione added.

"We will?" Ron said in a high-pitched voice.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron entered the club called "Tickle My Fancy" and sat down at the bar. Hermione ordered a whiskey, Ron ordered a straight Jack Daniels, and Harry ordered a white wine spritzer. He looked around the room to see if anything would prove that he was gay. Ron chugged his liquor, winced, slammed the glass down and said, "Hit me again Charlie."

The bartender smiled and commented, "My name is actually Ted. But I can be Charlie if you'd like." He winked and blew a kiss towards Ron.

Ron vomited on the floor. Harry was about to say something when the lights dimmed and a bright spot-light shined on the stage in the front of the club. Music began to softly play and someone with glittery blond hair and the body of a god walked out. He was wearing tight leather pants and see through purple long-sleeved shirt. He paused in the spot-light for dramatic effect and then raised a microphone to his beautiful lips. Harry quivered.

Ron looked up and gazed in amazement. "Hermione! Is that girl checking you out?"

"Oh yes," Hermione answered. "I suppose she is." She smiled at the girl.

"Doesn't that disturb you?"

"No," she answered. "It's flattering."

The music got louder and the blond began to move his hips backward and forwards in a thrusting motion. Harry began to convulse slightly at the sight of the movements. He gripped his rainbow colored napkin and stared with his mouth wide open at the sight. The blonde began walking a belted out the chorus of the song he was singing.

"It's rainin' men! Hallelujah! It's rainin' men!"

Harry fell from his seat. His penis was pounding with blood as his erection was growing like balloon being inflated. Hermione looked from Harry on the floor beside Ron's vomit, to the singing blond, to Ron's weeping figure. She gasped and leaned down to Harry.

"Do you know who that is?" she whispered.

Harry weakly shook his head.

"That's Malfoy!" she squealed.

Harry's eyes got huge as he stared at the blond. She was right. The singing gay sex god was none other than Draco Malfoy.

When the song was done he sauntered over to the bar and sat next to Harry. "Ah, someone hear has a skeleton in their closet," he sang happily. "And that skeleton is male, fabulously dressed, and very cultured."

"How did you"

"Gay-dar, Granger," Draco said to Hermione. "Most of us have it. Now, to see whom is the queer and whom is just plain not all there…" He examined Ron and Harry up and down. "Ah, well, I can see by the lack of blood in your face Weasley that you're basically repulsed by this whole scene. And by the lack of blood in your face, Potter, I can tell that you're absolutely elated by it." He smirked and motioned for the bartender to come over.

"I'd like a tequila with lime," he said. "Put it on the rocks, too." He turned back to the three friends. "So, why are we here then? Searching for a partner?"

"No," Harry replied. "Trying to figure out whether or no I want a…partner. And since when are you gay?"

"Ah, in denial are we," he said. "Well, let me help you out a little here Potter. If you're even here, then most like you want a partner. And I've always been gay. As gay as the day is long. Couldn't you tell?"

Harry averted his eyes and shook his head.

"Ooh, ooh!" Hermione squealed. "Look at him Harry. He's got a firm ass that's squeezable. You like him?"

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed.

"Ah," Draco commented sipping on his tequila with lime. "His ass is nice. But his penis is the size of my pinky finger."

Harry, who was still on the floor because the author had forgotten he was down there, gaped at Draco. "You've had sex with him?"

"I've had sex with most of the men in here," he said. "Not only am I gay, I'm a slut. I'm a gay slut."

"How does you father feel about this?" Harry asked.

"Which part?" Draco questioned. "Me being gay, or me being a slut?"

"Both."

"Well, the gay part he could live without," he said. "He practically disowned me. But all Malfoys are sluts so that didn't bother him any. My mother was incredibly pleased with it. I think her exact words were: 'I always wanted a daughter.'"

Harry sighed.

Draco leaned over and kissed Harry right on the lips. Ron passed out and Hermione smiled and cooed, "Aaaww!"

She pulled Ron through the vomit that the author had forgotten existed and out the door. Draco and Harry kissed passionately at the bar. Draco's hand moved it's way onto Harry's knee and crept up his thigh. Harry moaned as it reached the place of no return.

"We should go to a room," Draco said as he pulled away.

"They have rooms?" Harry asked.

"Of course."

They walked up to the room that Draco was staying in and entered it. On the bed was a Star Wars blanket.

"You like Star Wars?" Harry asked confused. "But that's a Muggle…"

Draco quickly stripped his clothes off. Harry gasped at the girth of the sausage. He took one from the plate on the table and nibbled on it while Draco unclothed him. When he'd finished his sausage he then realized he was completely naked. Draco came towards him and began to kiss him again. After a few minutes he moved back a step and said, "Turn around."

Harry gulped. "Why?"

"I think you know why…"

Harry slowly turned around so that his back and other things were accessible to Draco.

"Now, bend over," Draco commanded.

"Oh, that's okay," Harry replied. "I can see the floor fine from here, thanks."

Draco placed one hand on Harry's warm back and another on his hip and gently pushed him so that he was bent over.

"Oh look, a sickle," Harry said as he stared at the floor. "And it's face up, you know what that meeeeeeeeeeans!"

The camera cut away to the fireplace where a fire burned warmly. On the cue "Let's Get It On" began to play softly in the background. A little while later Draco could be heard moaning, "The foooorce is with meeeee!"

Harry lay wrapped in the Star Wars covers looking at the ceiling as Draco puffed on a cigarette.

Harry awoke sweating and screaming. He reached under the covers and was very thankful that he didn't have an erection and that the sheets were completely dry. He sighed and worriedly glanced around the room. Everyone was asleep. No one would ever know that he had a dream that he was gay and he'd slept with Draco Malfoy.

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