Chapter Two

I couldn't stay in the Mission house once she left. I need to walk and clear my thoughts. Or so I told myself. I was really avoiding David. Oh, why did I tell him I would talk to him after? I'm not ready yet. I thought about what Fairlight asked me. Who did I share my deepest secrets with? I didn't need to ask myself. Not really. I already knew the answer. I shared them with the one man who shared just as much with me. The one who let me know his two best kept secrets: his laboratory and his river. David never did share…not like that. He wanted kisses and a family. I wonder if he truly understood either. I took a deep breath and kept walking. My feet had somehow taken me to the river. At least they were smart enough to take me a mile upstream from Neil's cabin. I found a patch of moss and sank down—all motivation lost. With my back against a tree I let my emotions flow through me. Love, pain, anger, disappointment. After awhile I noticed that one emotion was missing—confusion. Knowing what needed to be done, I slowly rose and began the journey back to the Mission.

"Lordamercy, Preacher, thar she is!" I could hear Ruby Mae squeak in relief and excitement, though still hundreds of yards away. David appeared in the doorframe. Dark and brooding. He tried to smile.

"There you are, Christy. We were beginning to worry—wondered if we should start a search party."

I attempted to smile in return. It was feeble.

"Ruby Mae? Won't you start dinner? I'm starved."

"Yes, Miz Christy." She smiled knowingly, reading the sign that I need to talk to David alone.

"David, let's walk." He peered at me questioningly through the side of his eyes. We walked in silence until we reached the gazebo. He sat down, but I remained standing, with my hands on the rails and my face turned towards the lake.

"David…why is it that you want to marry me?" Clearly I had startled him, but I kept my gaze level until he answered.

"Because Christy…we're right for each other. Can't you see that? I thought we had an understanding and didn't need words at this point."

He was looking at me like a father berating a young, disobedient child. "Then you thought wrong." Too harsh. "David, what I mean is, you never want to talk."

Suddenly, his face lightened—now he thought he understood. He tried to take me in his arms.

"No, David. David!" I shoved him away. "I'm serious. I don't know anything about you, except perhaps that you like holding me." I held out the ring. Warm trickles fell down my face. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

"You know I won't ask again?" His voice was calm, too calm. I nodded.

"And you know you can't have MacNeill?" I nodded again.

"Then I don't understand you, Christy. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Smart enough to know the truth in your words—you don't understand me."

I turned and fled back to the Mission house. Again, the same old emotions coursed through me, but I began to notice a new one: relief.

"Why Miz Christy, what happened? Yer face is all wet." I quickly dabbed my eyes and looked at Ruby Mae.

"Is Miss Alice back yet?"

"No ma'am. But I heerd from Rob Allen that folks seen her heading up God's Fist a-ways. Reckon she's done gone on another retreat?"

"It seems likely." I sighed and prayed she would return soon. I noticed Ruby Mae's eyes widening as she looked into the yard. I turned to follow her gaze. David had returned and was storming off to his bunkhouse.

"Miz Christy."

"Yes, Ruby Mae?" I sighed louder than I had meant to.

"You ain't gotta say nuttin', but I notice you ain't wearin' that fancy ring of Preacher's. I jus' wanna say I'm sorry fer yah is all. Plain as day that yer hurtin'."

I hugged her. As exasperating as she could be, I found a lot of hope and solace in this red-headed wonder before me.

"Thank you dear. I'm sorry for not eating, but I think I just need to go to bed."

The next few days dragged out slowly. I kept looking for Miss Alice's return, but in vain. David and I did not exchange more than a few words this entire time. He would wake up early to eat alone, and came up with various tasks to do away from the Mission. Today was the first time in almost a week that he stayed close by to do work. He did not have much choice, however, as our fence had been broken and the horses kept escaping. At the rate he was going, it looked like he would be done by lunch. Overall, it was a very lonely week for me. I did not catch a single glimpse of Neil this whole time, but my mind told me it was for the best. I was about to start cooking lunch when I saw Jeb approaching.

"Mornin' Miz Christy!"

"Good morning, Jeb!" I couldn't repress a large smile from forming on my face. Finally, some company!

"Jeb." David tipped his hat and continued working.

"I jus' want to let you know Fairlight and me are having a workin' tomorrah. Clearin' out part of the south forest for John."

John Spencer and Bessie Colburn—two of my brightest pupils—were getting married this winter. "A Christmas Wedding" they called it. I could not approve, but after many fruitless conversations, I realized I could not stop them.

"Of course I'll be there, Jeb! How's Fairlight?" I missed my friend. Zady had been sick, so I hadn't seen she had asked me all those penetrating questions.

"Fine, Miz Christy, fine. She be right tickled to know you're comin!"

"Then I suppose we'll be seeing you tomorrow, Jeb."

My heart lightened a little knowing that David would go. I had begun to fear that he would ignore his duties, and perhaps even leave the Cove.

"Walh, until tomorrah."