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Disclaimer: Okay, we've been over this before but I think i have to do this every chapter so I'll do it: I don't (never have, never will) own the Twilight series or any of its characters.

Chapter 5

The rest of the month passed without much instance. I was fitting into La Push well, my classes were easy. Sasha quickly became my best friend. She was really nice and optimistic. Slightly self-centred but that was fine with me. She was fun to be around. The only thing bothering me was my recurring dream.

It started in this beautiful clearing with a waterfall. It was just me sitting on a picnic rug but then, suddenly he appeared. Paul. He had this look of love and adoration on his face. His smile was the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen. He came to sit down beside me and he gathered me into his arms. The dream continued on in its sappy, romantic way. Every time I woke up I was disturbed, not because it was Paul. Well, the first few times I was. But what disturbed me the most was how happy I was there. The love and happiness emanating from me were foreign. It's not like I'm depressed and don't know what happiness was but I'd just never felt the exhilarating happiness that I was in that dream. And I always felt just a tiny bit sad when I woke up, realising it's not real. I hated that because I knew Paul and I would never be together. I didn't do assholes.

Since that first day I had been curious as to why everyone had reacted so strongly. I had finally asked Sasha.

"Hey, Sash?"

"Yeah Al?" I grimaced at her unnecessary nickname.

"Why is everyone so tense about Paul?"

Sasha was silent so I pressed on "I mean the guys look like they're going to break something when anyone mentions him and Alison looks like she'll cry when she looks at him."

"Yeah, she probably does seeing as he's her ex." She mumbled softly.

"Can you please tell me? I hate feeling like I'm missing something really big." I pleaded.

She sighed. "Okay, Paul used to be our friend. We were all really close since middle school. Once we got to high school Paul became a player. One of the biggest in the school. Went out with just about every girl. Except me, Nikki, Rochelle and Alison. But in junior year they started going out. Alison and Paul." She added " She was changing him, he wasn't being such an asshole and they were together for ages. She loved him. But Sam was wary of him. Paul was always a friend but he was still an asshole. Just not to us so much. Then he disappeared for weeks. She was frantic with worry as were all of us. Anyway, he turned up again, told her it was over and that he'd never loved her and went back to his player ways. The rest of us were furious. But Sam was just about demented with anger. He went after Paul and confronted him about it. He tried to punch Paul but broke his hand in the process. Paul hasn't spoken to us since." She finished off.

I felt bad for them. To have such a long time, not to mention close friend do that must have sucked big time.

"I'm sorry" I murmured.

She looked up and smiled "Nah, we're better off without that prick."

I could see her pain through her facade though.

Since I'd heard Paul's history I hated him even more. I really liked Alison and she didn't deserve that kind of crap.

I had taken to completely ignoring his presence in English. But occasionally when he wasn't looking I'd sneak glances at him. Over the progression of the month he had gotten gradually more morose looking. Still slightly pissed but mostly morose.

Sometimes I felt guilty; like it was my fault he was sad. But I brushed it. Sheesh, Alex full of yourself aren't you? Thinking after one confrontation with Paul he's acting sad about you. The same voice came into my head every time I thought that.

So I tried my very best not to think of Paul. Let me tell you, not as easy as you think.

PPOV

I was starting to get frantic. This was definitely not how it was meant to happen. She wasn't meat to hate me while I loved her with all of my being.

Sam and the fellow imprinters told me to wait for her to come around. I grudgingly followed their advice, deciding they knew more about it than me.

But let me tell you, it was killing me not to bury my face in her gorgeous, inky black hair while I hugged her. I had to restrain myself every English lesson with her. I tried my best not to stare at her, to no avail. I spent most of time just staring at her stunning, amazing face. She was the single most beautiful person I had ever seen. Every time she smiled I was awed by the sheer magnificence of it. My heart simultaneously soared and broke when she laughed, if that was even possible. It pained me to know that at this rate I would never be the one to put that smile on her face or the one to make her laugh her exquisite laugh.

Altogether, I was pretty much a mess. The pack was becoming seriously tired of my behaviour. Like, for instance, my spontaneous outbursts at people got old very quickly. Even Jared, my best friend, was growing wearisome with my behaviour.

Running patrol with no vampires around was about the most boring and irritating thing in the world. There was nothing to focus your thoughts on so everyone doing patrol could hear your every secret, know every shame. Or, if you were on the receiving end you could listen to people moan about their problems continuously in their head.

You mean like we are about Alex? Embry thought. He was the newest, not to mention the most annoying. Stupid kid.

Hey! Did you forget we share thoughts or something idiot?

No, i just really don't care about your feelings. Or self esteem.

Now maybe this is why she won't talk to you. Oh, no. He did not just think that.

If you were in biting distance.... I thought.

Or... maybe you should just apologise? He said that in a 'duh' kind of tone.

And maybe that wouldn't work. I snapped back.

Well, dude, either you can do something about it, like apologise like a normal person would. Or you could keep up this act of self-pity which you seem to have perfected.

What would you know? You haven't even imprinted. You don't know what it's like.

What, apologising? Paul, i know you think yourself above apologising but the fact is that that's the only way you'll get her to talk to you. And you know what's funny? you know I'm right.

And with that he phased back. Little bastard. But as much as i hated to admit it (and I'm only thinking this coz no one else is here to hear) the kid was right. I wasn't gaining anything by moping. Just pissed off pack brothers and family.

I phased back, shrugging a pair of shorts on and jumped through my window and onto my bed.

The lasts thought i had were about her and my dreams followed suit, her face filling my mind. So beautiful.