A/N: Okay! I finally finished it! I have had writers block all week, like no joke I have written this chapter 10 times. I am still not satisfied with the finished product. :P Edward seems kinda girly in this chapter. But I cried while writing it. ha! I know it's not that good, but please don't stop reading and reviewing! Speaking of reviews... WOW! You guys reviewed so much! Thank you so much! I want 10 reviews if you want chapter 4! In your review answer my question... What did you get for Christmas? Enjoy!

Disclaimer- Okay, I currently do not own Twilight, or any of it's characters, BUT Stephenie and I are talking and... Just Kidding. I promise I don't own it. *tear*

3. Torture

Was last night real or just a dream? The cold fingers slowly brushing my cheek pretty much answered that question.

The only sound in the room was Edward humming, and I recognized my lullaby instantly. His voice wasn't as velvety and smooth as usual; it was rough, and it broke every now and then- as if he'd been crying. I couldn't even bare to imagine his face if this was how he sounded…

I turned so my body was facing his, but kept my eyes closed. His body automatically shifted with mine, making no spaces between us. I wrapped my arm around him waist and hugged him even closer to me.

"Bella," he sighed my name. There was too much pain, even in his little whisper. Not only was there pain in his voice, but there was pain everywhere! My heart, Edward's heart, his voice, my whole room was a place of agony! If Jasper where here, he would probably start sobbing the second he stepped foot in my house.

"Edward, I-"

"Oh Bella!" he pulled me even closer to him. My head fit perfectly against the side of his neck. "Love, I am so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I asked, even though I was sure I knew the answer. Surprisingly, he understood my muffled question.

"Sorry for everything I have done to cause you pain. Last night was almost impossible for me to live through. You cried all night in your sleep. You didn't say a single word! I've seen you cry, Bella. But never like last night! You were having trouble breathing and you were shaking so violently, and, and." His sobs became more of his voice until they eventually took over. Having Edward this broken was only making the hole in my chest burn.

Although I wanted to keep my head on his shoulder forever, I had to pull it up to look at his face. Seeing his expression for the first time this morning was absolute torture. I have never seen Edward so... out of control with his emotions. His golden eyes were the worst thing to look at. Seeing him in such agony sent daggers into my heart. No matter how hard I tried, the tears were overflowing down my cheeks.

"Why do you blame yourself for everything? Okay, yeah Edward it hurt when you left. You left me here, and I honestly believed you didn't love me anymore. Any other person would have been hurt too." My trembling voice broke and cracked on every other word,

"But Bella, I'm not in love with any other person. I'm in love with you. And I just left, without a trace. I'm so sorry."

My heart was hammering in my chest, and breathing was getting harder every second. Being with Edward used to be so easy, natural. Now I can't even look at him without shedding a million tears. I miss the way we used to be.

"Edward, what's wrong with us? You have a million reasons to smile right now, and all your doing is crying. You have your family, your knowledge, and everything else that makes you, you."

"But I am missing two things- one my heart, and two your love.

"Edward I loved you so much-"

"Loved," he sighed and looked away from me.

"Yes, loved." I turned his face to look at me again. "But then you left me and I couldn't make myself believe that you still loved me. Then, you show up here and tell me you never stopped loving me. You broke me in ways that might never heal! I don't have enough of my heart to handle getting hurt again. I already gave all of it to you." My heart stuttered on a few beats, emphasizing my statement well."

"Bella," his voice broke, "I love you so much. Always believe that.

"Edward, I-" Why would he leave me if he loved me? I just can't comprehend why you leave the one you love. Could I even handle his love?

"Don't worry. I'll gain your trust again soon."

A/N: Please Please Please don't stop reading because of this awful chapter! Hmmm... I have noticed when I try to write my pen name on here, it only comes as "123". 123 ... did it work?

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