I will follow you into the Dark
A/N: So I know it's been awhile since I've updated. Between temporarily being homeless and the Harry Potter obsession I deal with, my own writing has been a bit lax. Anyway this is the third chapter of Small Doses. This one is…sad. I was feeling particularly low when I wrote this and I think the subject matter shows that. It deals with Raven and Beast Boy and some terribly depressing thoughts. I promise the next one will be happy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. All rights belong to DC Comics…which suck since they decided to kill Bart Allen as the Flash. Bastards. Title of the story belongs to Death Cab for Cutie. All I own is the computer I wrote this on and the final Harry Potter book, which is by far the best.
She was going to be alone. Maybe not now, not tomorrow, maybe not even for a few decades more but eventually she'd be alone. He'd be gone. He'd leave her behind.
It was a sobering, depressing morbid thought. It wasn't the kind of thought a girl should be thinking of while cuddling with her newly married husband, who lay besides her snoring softly. But Raven had never been one to completely allow herself to completely ignore those dark thoughts. It was her wedding night and she'd brood all her heart desired.
She hadn't thought about this when she'd said yes. Hadn't considered this before, during or after the "I do's", even though she was sure that the clergyman had mentioned something about them being together till death parted them. She blamed it on all the excitement that came with realizing that she was married. Realizing that he loved her, flaws and all. She blamed it on their love, which she could feel so strongly that she was sure that she could taste its clover honey flavor even now hours after the festivities.
Now though, hours after all the pomp and circumstance that she maintained she'd only done for him, (which wasn't entirely true). Only now after they had sweetly, softly, clumsily memorized the planes and contours of one another did she allow herself to think about all that could go wrong between them. Only now did she allow herself to let the dark and dreadful thoughts in. Her first thoughts were of how he would die long before she would.
She didn't share her thoughts. She knew he would try to reassure her, try to wipe the thoughts away, try to ease her fears, all the while letting her fears sleep deep inside him, hurting him a little more every day. She knew he would try to ease her pain, tell her she didn't know if her fears were unfounded or not, that maybe his animal genes would help to extend his life, extend their time with one another. And she'd sigh and argue if only to please him. But all the while her heart would know the truth.
He was going to be gone long before her.
It was inevitable. He was a shape shifter, not a god. Not a demon or even half of one. Not alien with an extended life span. Not an android. He wasn't even a metahuman with powers that gave him even a little more time. Essentially he was human. His death would be swifter because he was human. She one the other hand was not,
Not for the first time did she curse the part of her that wasn't human. Normally she cursed the tether it put on her emotions. Now she cursed the lifetimes alone that her heritage would damn her to spend alone.
She couldn't do it. She knew that much. She knew that when the time came for him to leave her, when his hair was gray and hers still vibrantly indigo, when his body frail and bones turning to dust, while hers were still strong and whole, that she would go with him. She would not let him head into the darkness alone. Hands clasped together, she would follow his soul wherever it led her; be it a deep empty oblivion, the glorious pearly-gated Heaven, some sparkly afterlife, everlasting purgatory or even the heated shadowy depths of Hell. Wherever his soul went she would follow.
He was her heart. Her soul. Her home. She knew that without him she had nothing, no one. She couldn't, she wouldn't let him leave her. She would follow him into the dark.
A/N: So…I hope I didn't depress anyone too much. Any questions or comments, you all know how to reach me. Now please excuse me while I go and wipe the tears off my face. And go re-re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.