Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye
A/N: So…I know that I promised that the next posting I did would be a happy one. I know. But…after rereading the last chapter I felt that it was only fair to show Beast Boy's point of view. I mean after all he is the one who would be dying. So, even though I promised a happy chapter, I unfortunately have to renege on that promise and post this sad, weepy follow-up to chapter 3. I really do want to write a happy chapter…but they just won't be written for some reason. I'm trying for chapter 5, really I am.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or anything like that. Nor the title, which comes from a song by Chantal Kreviazuk, who is amazing.All I own are my increasingly hot dreams of Daniel Radcliffe. Come on, you all know he's hot. Anyway the TT belongs to DC Comics. Lucky them.
She didn't think he'd thought of this before now. Didn't think that he'd have planned for this, anticipated this outcome to their time together. Didn't expect him to have planned for his own death.
He always did love surprising her.
He'd taken care of all the little things ages ago, before he'd gotten too frail and fragile to leave his room. Taken care of their home, his will and all of the other terribly depressing, seemingly small and yet important, responsibilities that came with the knowledge that you were dying, that your life was truly reaching its end. That for the first time in decades you weren't going to wake up. You weren't going to see the face of the most important person in your world ever again.
That's what worried him. That's what made him want to hold on a little longer, go on a little longer. That's what made him want to ask Death to stay his hand a moment more, just so he could spend that moment with her.
He didn't want to leave her.
He wasn't afraid of dying. They knew each other quite well him and Death, had met multiple times through out his long life. Besides he'd lived a dozen lives in his lifetime, had seen more than he cared to see, knew more than he cared to know. What he was afraid of was leaving her alone, afraid of having to say goodbye.
He wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to have their story end, wasn't ready for that last chapter to be written, wasn't ready for the book to close. He wanted more time. For them, for her he wanted, needed more time.
He'd apologized once. When he was feeling particularly weak, and ready to let go, he'd told her how sorry he was for so many things, but especially for this. For growing so frail, so delicate, for promising her forever and not being able to see it through. She had sighed that day, gently, softly, valiantly ignoring the tears gathering in her eyes and told him not to apologize. He was only human. She'd known that this was coming from the day she married him. It didn't matter. She loved him, that's all that mattered. Beside she found him cute in his fragility. And she didn't need forever. The decades they'd had were more than enough, more than she felt she deserved. Forever was overrated anyway.
She had sighed again; broken and gasping, tears slowly making trails down her ivory cheeks, before she'd gently placed her small smooth pale moon hand in his jade wizened, wrinkly, reedy one. Before she leaned over and dropped a gentle chaste kiss on his paper-thin lips.
He didn't tell her that he knew. Knew that she was planning on following him into the dark. That she was planning on letting go when he finally said goodbye to the world. They had never spoken of it, but he knew her well enough to know that such thoughts had passed through her pretty little indigo head more often then not. She'd follow him. Maybe not right away, but definitely sooner than was normal for a half-demon.
He wanted to stop her. Wanted to tell her that she needed to go on when he slipped he away that she needed to keep living. He wanted to tell her that she deserved a chance to live, to truly continue experiencing life, the way she had with him. He wanted to tell her not to worry, that he would be okay wherever he ended up, be that in the Cimmerian darkness of the river Styx (she'd been so surprised to learn that he loved mythology), the luminescent pearly gates of Shangri-la, or the everlasting emptiness of limbo. But he didn't. He knew her as well as he knew himself and he knew that nothing he said or did would sway her from her decision. She would join him whether he wanted her to or not. She couldn't be without him (and he knew he couldn't be without her) and was willing to do anything to keep them together.
They would say goodnight, when his time came. Because for them there would be no goodbye.
A/N: So…yeah. It's gloomy. I know, but I just had to write it. It wouldn't go away and was beating all the other plot bunnies up. I'm not sure if I like the ending. I was tempted to continue rambling but I could the darkness getting increasingly worse and figured I didn't want to depress you all too much. So please review and tell me what you think, okay? Thank you in advance.