Title: Spiderwebs
Pairing: YukixShuichi
Rating: T. x] I don't know. All my fics are the same. There are no sex scenes, nothing mind crippling, and there is only ANGST. Ahh hahaha. =]
Warnings: …none. Of any particular description.
Disclaimer: I own nothing ;D
Summary: Shuichi wants to escape the web he is trapped in. He is not a fly willing to be captured so easily.
Author's Note: …I think we're on 33 stories. And to celebrate that lovely number we will be trying something different. Aka, gravitation. Excuse the angst, but I think Shuichi's feelings in the manga is just too… shallow.
"Yuki?" Shuichi yelled, "I'm going out now!"
Yuki grunted in reply. Good. That meant he'd have a few hours silence to try and finish this awful book, which was practically a carbon copy of all the previous novels out on sale which held his name. Just change the character's names, and voila, his stupid, gushy, female readers couldn't tell the difference.
The door slammed shut as Yuki's young lover departed, and the only noises that remained were that of Yuki's fingertips hitting the keyboard. This was the only sound that Yuki was aware of for the next few hours, and took comfort and joy in the fact it wasn't a shrill shrieking or a Nittle Grasper record.
But suddenly he stopped and studied his last sentence critically. He hit the backspace button and shook his head mumbling under his breath that he'd never written such crap before in his life. He stared at the keyboard dumbly for a moment, then retreated from his chair and went to the balcony for a cigarette.
Suddenly silence didn't seem so nice.
He thought over the last few years he'd shared with Shuichi. How he'd managed to put up with it he didn't know. With all the whining, and the crying, and the yelling and the arguing. But…
Something about Shuichi seemed to charm him. Something drew him in to Shuichi in a way which no one else, not even the most attractive female in the world, had managed to achieve so far.
Shuichi loved him. But lots of people had claimed that before in Yuki's life.
Perhaps it was the way he just moved in without permission without caring if he made Yuki mad. Everyone else had been careful and had asked permission for everything. Shuichi just went and did it, without caring about the consequences. He, Yuki supposed, was a person who dealt with what came to him when it came to him personally. He didn't linger on what could happen, on the off chance that it didn't. This was proved with his recklessness when dealing with Tohma (the most important person in freaking NG!) and it, Yuki concluded, was a very stupid way to live.
Perhaps it was the way that Shuichi didn't take no for an answer. 'No' wasn't a possibility in Shuichi's world. 'No' was something that happened to other people. Yet, so many times Yuki had said no to Shuichi, but he kept persisting, hoping, perhaps, that Yuki would change his mind. Normally Yuki complied. This was, of course, after many, many days of saying no and pain on Shuichi's part in order to make up for the pain that Yuki was about to endure.
Perhaps it was the way that Shuichi always smiled. He always brightened the room, even if he was piss annoying.
Perhaps it was that way that, though many other people could understand Yuki and his problems so much easier and quicker then Shuichi could, Shuichi tried that bit harder to be the best. To be Yuki's one-and-only. Yuki couldn't understand why Shuichi cared so much. Yuki was, and it struck a sudden chord inside him, a complete bastard to Shuichi most of the time.
Perhaps it was the way they could talk to each other. At times, that is. And normally when Yuki's doing the talking and Shuichi is silently listening. Even if the conversations were very painful to remember, the image of Shuichi listening on the floor before him, crouched in between his legs, eyes wide in worry, pink hair making the world seem brighter, was a precious one. Also a very rare one.
Perhaps it was just the sex.
Or…
Perhaps it was the way that Shuichi was just opposite to Yuki. Perhaps it was the way that they completed each other. Shuichi was Yuki's happy side, and Yuki was the serious side that Shuichi desperately lacked.
They connected.
The chemistry, as one of his heroes from his corny novels would possibly say, was correct for a perfect relationship.
Yuki smiled.
Dont Let Me Down
Itsumo Koniteru Dake
Shuichi was almost at NG, and he rubbed his eyes quickly. His sunglasses hid his red eyes to the world, but he'd have to take them off for the band. He walked in with the essence of cool and collected about himself, as he was hardly in the mood to be the jumpy, happy personality he was normally.
He smiled politely at people who said hello, and they seemed slightly confused in the personality change, but Shuichi supposed that they thought he was going through the same stage that Ryuichi had done all those years ago when out of nowhere appeared a serious and tall personality with no need of Kumagoro. It didn't scare them now, Shuichi supposed, as it had then. This time they thought they understood.
Earlier, as he walked out of the flat, he was aware that connection was being lost with Yuki desperately. Yuki had spoken to him earlier that morning, but Shuichi could hardly recall what he had said. The words had just walked right through his ears, and his mind hadn't registered what Yuki had said. The sneer on Yuki's face though, had confirmed it wasn't something particularly pleasant, or indeed anything Shuichi would have liked to have heard. Yuki sometimes thought that Shuichi liked everything he said but recently Shuichi had started to ignore him because nothing nice had come out of that pretty mouth, and Shuichi had decided he wasn't going to start listening again until something awful happened due to him closing his ears, such as the house burning down.
He stopped in the middle of the corridor, realising he was just being dragged along by Yuki, and that he had never really cared. Never. But Shuichi was in too deep now. He was stuck like a fly in the spiders trap. And the spider had long ago started to eat his insides away.
Perhaps now it was time to start struggling.
Years he'd stayed with Yuki and all through these years he thought his life couldn't get better. Then, only this morning as he'd woken up from a dream about the kindly face of Ryuichi Sakuma against the hard expression of Yuki Eiri, he had concluded that his life couldn't get worse. Now he was stuck in the middle. His life couldn't get better because they were at number one once again and he was still technically in a relationship with the gorgeous romance novelist Yuki Eiri. His life couldn't get worse because music and singing suddenly had lost his interest, and Yuki Eiri couldn't care less for him. He had lost touch with his family, he and Hiro were drifting away due to Yuki's huge intervention on Shuichi's life, and the rest of the Bad Luck team had never really been too close to him. He couldn't even turn to Sakuma-san, who he knew would help and would understand, because Shuichi was always and would always be awed by Sakuma-san, and idol-worship was a hard thing to overcome.
Years hed been with Yuki and he didn't know why he even bothered in the first place. Yuki was out of his league by miles and he almost smacked himself for thinking that there could ever be anything in their relationship, or that there was something out there that could keep them together. They shared none of the same likes or dislikes and they could hardly get through a conversation without Yuki spitting out an insult and Shuichi bursting into tears. But, of course, Shuichi wasn't listening to him anymore, so no tears had been caused before this morning. At that point, in his desperation, he had gotten halfway down the street and started crying. Nothing was right anymore. Nothing could sort them out. Nothing could sort Shuichi out.
Shuichi wasn't going to change for Yuki, in case he go wrong. Perhaps he gave off the impression he didn't care if he made a mistake because he was Shuichi Shindou and all was right in his universe regardless of his careless antics.
This, of course, wasn't true. It was really only Sakuma-san who'd picked up on this, possibly because he was in the same boat as Shuichi was, and 13 years wiser.
Years he'd stayed with Yuki and he was starting to wish that he'd listened to Yuki when, in the first meeting in the park, he told Shuichi to give it up. That way he wouldn't have meddled in all of this. He wouldn't have fallen so fast and so hard for Yuki. He wouldn't have pursued Yuki, and… Yuki wouldn't have kissed him.
Shuichi wanted to chase away the past, and Shuichi didn't want to go back to him now. Shuichi didn't want anything to do with himself anymore. For the first time ever, Shuichi Shindou did not want to be Shuichi Shindou.
End.
Author's Note: …I probably could have gone a litttttle bit deeper. . . but I couldn't be arsed ;D
Jack