Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight, or Edward. Sadness.

A/N

Robs: So this is a highly anticipated chaser. Edward's POV. I honestly love him and yes, there is more to his story than even what I wrote here. I just wanted everyone to have a little sneak into the head of the jackass who beat the crap out of Jasper.

Believe me when I say Edward has a reason for everything.

Kristin: Hopefully this clears up some concerns that ya'll had in regards to Mr. Cullen as well as his relationship with Ms, Swan :D Oh and get this, I was totally 'fuck Ed in his pretentious ass' until Robs showed me this…

Ghost of the past

EPOV

June 1st 1999:

A week ago our chief of police was killed in the line of duty. Killed by a crack head, in our town? Seriously stuff like that happens here? I swear to you time stands still here.

Welcome to Forks, Washington, population three grand plus one crack head.

Now because of said crack head the one person in this town I actually want to deal with other than my family has to leave. Isabella Swan. My one and only true friend in this going down the shitter town. And she's thirteen, how fucking pathetic is that?

I hated most of the people in this town, they were all narrow minded and fake. Save for a few souls, and one was now lying in a casket, having his eulogy read. Fantastic. I felt like smoking. That probably isn't appropriate at a funeral though. I turn sixteen in nineteen days, Chief Swan could've given me my first speeding ticket, I was looking forward to that. Alas, everything gets fucked up. I hate this town.

I looked over at my little sister, Mary Alice or Ali, the only other person in this town besides Isabella that I liked. She was staring at her feet. Her black sack like dress covered her body like I knew she wanted, she wanted to hide from the world. The kids in this town like so many others are ruthless, cruel and superficial. Ali was going through a phase, but I knew in my heart that she would grow out of it, and then those boys that so mercilessly picked on her would be eating their hearts out. I smirked a little, trying to find my sister's face behind the curtain of thick black hair that she was hiding behind, I knew she was watching.

I looked to the other side of the funeral, towards the casket, I saw a tall blond woman weeping and hugging Isabella, who was also crying, to her side. On the other side of the woman was a girl who I was assuming was her daughter, she was blond as well, and although she was not currently crying there were tears running down her cheeks. Obviously the family, those must be that people taking her away. To Texas I am told. I resented them for taking her away, but I really couldn't blame them, they were her only family and families stick together.

I noticed Ali move out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head slightly to watch her. Where the fuck are you going? I thought. Her head was raised and she was definitely moving towards something, no scratch that, someone. A boy, I shook my head knowing about the boys around here, what the hell was Ali thinking?

I looked at the boy then, trying to see if I recognized him. I didn't, which didn't really surprise me any, I could care less about most of the spawn in this Podunk town. He looked unhappy though, maybe he and his family was close with the Chief.

My heart kinda went out to the kid, that was until my sister walked up to him, she had opened her mouth and he turned on her, I could tell by the look of anger on his face and the increasing look of anguish on hers that his words were not so nice and then Ali ran away from us into the woods. Fuck! I felt like strangling the boy, but now was not the time, thankfully the funeral was wrapping up so I ran over and said a hurried goodbye to Bella, or as hurried as I could ever be with her, before running to look for my sister.

September 20th 2003

"Edward, do you know where Mary ran off to today?" I heard my mother holler from the kitchen.

"No Mom, but I can find out. You want me to go get her?" I looked at the clock it was almost dinnertime, and it was the weekend, the rule since I had gone to college, dinner with the family on weekends. If I had to follow it, so did she.

"Yes, please." She called back. I walked up the stairs to her attic bedroom, opened the door and looked on her desk for any notes I knew she would leave for me. She didn't let me down.

DD-

Went ghost hunting with Jess. Be back by 3.

If I'm not than I am either being eaten alive by zombies or roped into a double date.

Either way, save my ass.

Love you-

MA

I chuckled lightly at the zombie reference and opened my phone, finding the Stanley's number and dialed it, praying that I wouldn't have to listen to Jessica's irritating voice for too long.

"Hello?" And there was the nasal rasping now.

"Hello Jessica, is Mary with you?" I asked politely.

"Hey Edward." She purred in what I was assuming was supposed to be a seductive voice, please god never let Ali do that shit. I prayed silently.

"Hello Jessica, do you know where my sister is?" I asked again a little more hurried.

"No, she left me to talk to some boy by Chief Swan's old house." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes over the phone, but it pissed me off to no end.

"So you just left her?" I spat angrily into the phone, after hearing no response I forgot all proper manners and hung up on the bitch. God the fucking shit for brains people in this town, Ali needs out before they consume her brain.

I got into my beat up 1992 Volvo and started to drive to the last place my sister was seen, and then it started to pour. What? Is the entire world against me today? I thought bitterly, desperately trying to get my windshield wipers to work. The only thing that kept me going through the rain, and eventually hail, was the thought of Ali being out there somewhere definitely cold and possibly… I shook my head. No, don't go there Ed.

As I approached the Swan house I saw her, standing under the willow tree that stood on the side of the house, being held by a man. My heart raced in my chest as the anger pumped fire through my blood. He didn't even have the decency to get her out of the fucking cold! I pulled up and they were oblivious to me, I watched as his hands slid down her back into her jeans pockets and I took a really good look at him.

Oh. My. Fucking. God. The kid from the funeral, what fuckery is this? He was older, taller, and his hair was longer, but there was no mistaking it. They were very much one in the same. How the fuck did he find my sister again? I suppressed the urge to jump out of my car and beat him till I knew what color his blood was, settling instead on yelling her name right as it looked like they were about to kiss. They both looked at me, her expression startled, his a combination of sadness and resentment at my cock-blocking. Ha ha motherfucker.

September 21st 2003

Church was as Church usually is. I was going to hell for having premarital sex, for disobeying my parents, probably for all the smoking and drinking I had been doing as well. Well, as long as I am going, I might as well do it thoroughly. I took Ali home since the folks were going to their ritual lunch with the other old fogies from the church.

As soon as we got to the house she ran in through the front door and checked our phone messages. Her face dropped when there wasn't any, she was waiting for him to call. She didn't even know his name and yet somehow they had exchanged phone numbers? I guess it would be easy for him to get ours, he had heard her name and there is only one Mary under 50 in this town.

"I'm gonna take a shower." She looked at me sadly. I nodded at her statement as she trudged slowly up the stairs. How the fuck did that guy get to her so fast? It made my head spin, this was not a good thing. Not at all.

I pulled a beanie on my head and went outside to smoke, trying to clear my head and relax before my mom came home to nag me about how much sleep I was getting and if I was eating properly at school. I snubbed out my cigarette and rubbed my face pushing my glasses off the bridge of my nose some. When I looked up again I noticed a Mercedes Benz SL65 pull up to the curb. My fucking god that car is hot. A fucking panty dropper car, I smirked and wondered if the single mother who lived next door found herself a bed buddy. That was until the driver got out.

Christ! This kid really needs to stay the fuck away from my sister. I knew what he wanted and there was no fucking way I was gonna let him have it. I watched him as he got out of the car and tossed the hat he was wearing inside and fixed his hair some. I straightened up from my position leaning against the house and looked at him as he made his way through our front gate and up the path.

"Can I help you?"

He stopped and looked at me nervously. Yeah kid your panty dropper car isn't gonna save your ass this time. "Hey, is Mary home?" I could tell he was trying to be polite so I decided against punching him being my next course of action and went down a completely different path.

"Yeah, she's in the shower." I nodded a bit to him watching his reaction, he shoved his hands in his pockets. I know why I shove my hands in my pockets, stop thinking about fucking my baby sister fucker.

"Oh cool. So uh.. are you like her brother or something?" I realized what he was afraid of and leapt on it.

"Do I look like her brother?" I asked shaking my head at myself and trying to keep the queasiness I was suddenly feeling from becoming actual vomit. "Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck do you want with my girlfriend?" His eyes grew wide.

"Girlfriend? Sorry man, I just wanted to thank her... She," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Helped me out yesterday with some shit. So I wanted to thank her before I left." Sure she helped you. Fucking A this kid is a jackass. Thank her my ass. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Listen, I'm sorry if you think I was hitting on your girl. I meant no disrespect. But can you let her know that J.T. said thanks? And I'm sorry about the rain…" He trailed off. I know why you're sorry about the rain asshole, it was taking everything in my power to not lay him out on the pavement.

"I'll tell her." Eventually, I amended to myself. He smiled at me a little and nodded.

"Thanks, you're a lucky man." He said as he turned to walk away his shoulders slumped forward. Why did I feel bad all of a sudden?

October 3rd 2003.

I dropped my car keys in the bowl on the entry table looking for any sign of life at my parents house, usually Ali would be sitting at the kitchen table doing homework or painting her toenails on the couch watching Gilmore Girls at this time. Mom was more than likely still at the shelter and Dad was probably having his Friday night poker game with his old navy buddies, but where the fuck was Ali?

I walked up to her bedroom hoping she left a note, and heard the sound of the shower running from what used to be our joint bathroom. I nodded to myself and went back downstairs to wait for her, turning on the TV for a little background noise. After awhile of listening to the mind numbing prattle I looked at the clock, shit it had been an hour, Ali never takes showers for this long.

My heart started to race in my chest and I ran up the stairs to the bathroom door and threw it open. The bathroom was thick with steam, but I could hear a wheezing sound coming from behind the plastic curtain.

"M.A.?" I asked from the doorway, no answer. I inched my way closer to the tub. "Ali? Are you ok?" I asked as my heart started to hammer in my chest louder. I reached forward, closed my eyes just in case she was fine and pulled the curtain open. I waited for a scream that I was sure to happen any moment now. My heart hammered harder as I heard the wheezing stop and I opened my eyes, looking straight forward. Where the fu- I looked down and saw her passed out on the floor of the tub.

HOLYCOCKSUCKINGSONOFABITCH!

I turned off the cold water quickly and ran to get towels, scooping her up into a bundle and carried her to her room. She shivered uncontrollably and I watched as beads of sweat developed on her forehead. I ran around finding her a pair of really warm socks, pajama pants and a hoodie, trying to dress her without disturbing her too much.

I rubbed her arms through her clothes to try to register to her body that she was warm, but her teeth chattered away. Then she started to cough so hard she sounded like a wounded seal, what the fuck? I could see her lips turning purple from the intensity of her coughing fit. Holy shit! I gotta get her to the hospital!

I picked her up and wrapped her in a blanket for good measure and carried her out to the Volvo and positioned her in the front seat carefully, making sure to buckle her in. On our way to the hospital she stopped coughing, and visibly breathing altogether, I stepped on the gas harder and made it to the hospital in less than three minutes. I jumped out of the car and pulled her out of the passenger side door by the emergency room without even caring to park my damn car.

Once inside I think I startled the good doctors and nurses that were meandering along when I brought her in, they pulled her away from me and started to work on getting her breathing again as I watched with held breath, the tears starting to form at the base of my eyelids.

One of the doctors came to me and asked her symptoms and all the other necessities. I answered his queries feeling as if I was in a fog, watching as my baby sister slipped slowly away from the world, from me. I could literally feel my heart breaking as they kept working their hardest to get her to breath.

And then it happened, the wheezing sound came back and they carried her back into a room. I almost cried with relief. I called our parents and parked the car while they did what they needed to do.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pneumonia. She had fucking pneumonia, and it nearly fucking killed her, she was now lying in a hospital bed while the antibiotics and medications worked their way through her system.

They said that she probably caught a cold and something must've happened to aggravate it, they weren't sure exactly what occurred and asked if anything had transpired about two weeks ago.

My mom and dad shook their head, I stayed quiet.

J.T. is a fucking pencil dick who better hope I never run into him again.

June 20th 2005

I smiled pulling up to the condo I had recently purchased. I loved everything about this place, it was fucking home to me now. I had just gotten a promotion and Ali had moved in with me.

Her modeling was going well for her, but I could tell she was getting sick of doing it.

About a year ago she changed her name, she was no longer Mary Alice, she was now just Alice, which took some getting used to.

She even had a boyfriend, he seemed like he was just using her for sex, but I wasn't about to start telling her what to do with her life. I almost had a heart attack as it was when she wanted me to take care of her 'financial stuff' as she termed it.

I walked in to the smell of paint. "Ali?" I asked timidly, walking over to a latter.

"Up here!" She called from the top, I looked up to her and watched at she rolled a tan colored paint on the walls. I smiled at her beaming face and waited for her to come back down off the latter.

"I picked up some catalogs of furniture stores so you could help me pick stuff out." I smiled warmly at her and she returned the smile.

"Ok so before I paint, you absolutely sure that you don't want the first floor master?" She asked raising an eyebrow at me, I thought about the walk in, she loved shoes and that closet definitely had enough space for them.

Besides the bathroom that was attached to the room I had chose had an LCD TV, what could be better than that? I shook my head at her and she hugged me.

February 21st 2009

I took Alice over to Sue's bar, a place I go to occasionally when I need a bottle of something strong. It's a pretty classy joint, in my opinion, I saw they had open mic night and since Ali had stopped modeling I needed to get her out of the house. Her mopping was not a good thing, for either of us.

So I tried to get her excited about it. She seemed to be into it, originally she told me she was going to wear the shit she wore to school, uh no. Fuck, she hardly ever leaves the condo, she needs to fucking dress up. Maybe if she gets a little male attention, she'll quit being such a cock-blocker.

She got up and sang her song, noticeably eyefucking the guy next to me. I quelled the urge to fucking punch him with the thought of if she gets some, you get some.

Yeah keep thinking that.

So I struck up a conversation, I first thing I noticed was the black hair, she had a thing for blonds. Always. I've never seen her go for someone with another hair color, but that didn't seem to matter as I watched her come towards us, his eyes were only for her and vice versa.

Well, shit, this is going to be easier than I thought.

That thought and hope lasted for about 5 seconds, some Jackass ran into the cool guy with black hair and he spilled his jack and coke on Ali, she blew up at him when he laughed and I was suddenly very grateful that she didn't noticing me laughing too.

Shit stopped being funny the minute he talked some shit about having our "daddy" buy her new shoes. Fuck you. I thought in my head, wrapped my arm around Ali's shaking shoulders and dragged her over to the bar.

Knowing I was definitely not getting some that night, I looked at Jake who acknowledged me and informed him that it was Ali's 21st. Suddenly it seemed that every guy at the bar was buying her a drink. Save for the jerk with the black hair, who knocked back a couple of drinks with a look of lust, want and anger on his face as he eyed her.

You did that shit yourself. I directed my thought at him, pissed that he ruined my night as well.

That's when I saw her. Isabella Swan, and she had definitely grown up. I watched her dance as if she were in slow motion. Fuck me, when the hell did she get curves? I felt like smacking my head repeatedly against the table just looking at her. I was so fucking screwed, I had been trying to replace her for far too long and I knew that if she rejected me now I was probably going to crawl in a hole somewhere and fucking die.

I figured out some time ago that way back in Forks I had fallen in love with her, and never fell out of love with her. I only hoped that she would give me the chance to make her feel the same for me. Go talk to her dumb shit! I got up and moved without really thinking about it, trying to appear casual as I made my way to her and whispered in her ear.

"Bella?"

She whipped around and looked at me studying my face carefully. Please remember me, please remember me. I chanted in my head.

"Edward?"

I was jumping, whooping and hollering then. On the inside. Outside I am sure I seemed cool, calm and collected. I worked really hard to achieve that façade, there was no way I would let anyone crumble it.

"How have you been? It's been what? Ten or so years?" I asked trying to make conversation and distract myself from the thoughts of her writhing under me as we made love. I shoved my hands in my pockets. Down boy.

"It's has.." I watched her bite her lip. Fuck. Please for the love of all that is holy stop biting you lip! I could feel me loosing my self control a little. This girl, no woman will be the key to my undoing I can feel it. "Far too long actually." I noticed as she checked me out and her cheeks went rosy. Well that's promising. "You look good…" She trailed off slightly suggestive. Why the fuck did I not try to find her sooner? I looked her up and down, drinking in every curve of her body with my eyes, before meeting her big, luscious, brown eyes.

"You've definitely grown up." She smirked at me. Fucking smirked. What the hell happened to the shy little Bella that I knew from back home. She leaned forward and acted like she was brushing the lint off my shoulder and inadvertently gave me the most perfect view of the swell of her breasts. Fuck me.

"Oh, in more ways then you can imagine Edward." She purred. I smirked back at her and fought the urge to kiss her. Feel her lips against mine again. It's been too long Ed, you can't just kiss her anymore dumb shit. I held out my hand.

"Care to dance with me?"

She laughed and took my hand. I watched her eyes sparkle. My beautiful Bella. "Did you forget that I can't dance?"

I laughed and shook my head. At least some things never change. "It's all in how you lead." I smiled knowingly at her as she rolled her eyes.

"Wow you're still using that line?" She quipped, smiling at me. I live for her smile and that twinkle in her eye. And to make her moan, that too, I am only a man after all.

"Ouch. I'm hurt, that isn't a line." I kissed her hand to let her know that I was joking, and to feel her silky skin against my lips. The pink on her cheeks reddened. I live for that blush as well.

"Well it works…"

------------------------------------------------------------------

I did get to feel Bella under me, her body against mine. I felt so great to be inside her, more so than I had ever imagined, I was thanking every god I could think of for this night.

Until I remembered Ali and leaving her at the bar like the pompous, inconsiderate jerk I was. I checked her room hoping that maybe she had gotten a taxi back or something. When I realized she wasn't there I panicked.

Where the fuck is she?

April 12th 2009

I was working on an print ad for Pepsi. A pretty big project, so I was working on the weekend, when I would much rather be relaxing and going to concerts with my lady love, Bella.

I decided after I stared at my computer for about 20 minutes that I should take a break. I noticed that my love had called me so I checked the message.

"Edward, please if you love me you will go and get him to come home. I will take care of Alice for you. It's on your way here anyway…" She didn't need to speak his name I knew who she was talking about, I listened as she gave me directions to where he most likely was.

Fuck. How many times a day do I have to fight the urge to kill my lady love's brain-less cousin?

My anger at him faded the moment I saw him however. He looked defeated and lost. What the fuck happened? I found myself wondering.

Somehow in our conversation everything flipped and I found myself trying to help him stay with my sister. Because it hit me just how much she loved the shit-head, and I was honest when I said that he was a better man than James.

That wasn't hard though.

April 15th 2009

I lit up my marbolo menthol and sucked it. Fuck, Jasper's a blond. Just when I thought Alice had moved away from her usual type she actually didn't. What the fuck did Bella call him? J.T.? Why is that name so familiar to me?

Alice lying on the floor of the tub, shivering, pale as a ghost, her lips growing blue. The image that haunted my nightmares for years. "Tell her J.T. says thanks." No it can't be him. No. No. No. Please God do not do this, that shit isn't even right. I promised I would fucking murder him when I saw him next, but I can't kill my lady love's cousin.

Maybe it isn't him. I tried to relax myself, but I was on edge the rest of the night.

April 16th 2009.

Fucking rat bastard.

JT is Jasper Thomas Whitlock. My sister is in love with him and he is the love of my life's cousin.

God is laughing his ass off at me now.