Is It All Just Pretend?
Chapter 11: Bad Luck Or Just Bad Timing?
Mitchie clawed through the hotels wardrobe, her small hands moving viciously through the clothes and wrenching them out piece by piece, ramming each one uncaringly into her suitcase. She groaned loudly as she heard a coat hanger snap in half, the broken pieces of wood flying adventurously across the room. Mitchie didn't bother to stop so she could gather the splintered shards of wood, but continued on ripping each article of clothing from the wardrobe, all she could see right now was red. Red that kept her anger hurtling through her at dangerous speed. Red that kept her heart beating furiously and unstoppably against her chest. Red that had already forced her to book the first flight home.
Of course, Mitchie's streak of bad luck had once again turned sour, meaning the first flight out wasn't until tomorrow night. After a lot of pacing and the usage of various colourful vocabulary Mitchie decided upon locking herself away in another hotel room, another hotel room where she was not known, where there was no risk of running into a certain Rock star and his certain malicious, soul crushing ex-girlfriend.
So there she was, pounding her unfolded clothes into her suitcase, she didn't care about the condition of the articles, she didn't even care if she left something important behind, all she cared about was that she able to leave without seeing Shane. Mitchie prayed that despite her atrociously bad luck she was able to fulfil that one last wish.
And that really was all she wished for right now, she had given up wishing for Shane, she had given up hope, given up her dreams and her desires. Ruby had intentionally pulled apart every last shred of optimism that Mitchie had. The small ounces of confidence that remained within Mitchie were crushed and destroyed during Ruby's unwanted speech. Ruby had managed to enunciate every fear that Mitchie felt, everything that she had tried so desperately to ignore, every thought that she had locked away in the back of her mind, hoping they would never surface, much less be voiced. But they had been voiced, they had been smashed violently into Mitchies face and they were refusing to be locked away again. They refused to leave completely, assembling in her thoughts and parading through her mind, constantly reminding her of how unworthy she was.
Mitchie would never be able to compete against the high standards that Shane deserved, and that's why he didn't love her. That's why they remained friends, and that's why Mitchie had fought so hard to keep her feelings sealed within her. But she couldn't anymore, she couldn't just pretend that she only cared for him as a friend. She couldn't be with him so often and not be able to hold him and kiss him and touch him. It was torture. She didn't want to hurt anymore.
That's why she was leaving, why she was now, stalking down the corridors of the hotel, her feet walking confidently across the carpets. Her legs moving hastily, her strides large and moving with purpose. Mitchie dragged her suitcases along behind her, happy to be out of her extravagant dress. She was now wrapped in a black T-shirt, accompanied with her favourite red zip-up jumper, a jumper she did up only a little, the bottom fitting snugly around her waist, making her curves apparent. She also wore her black skinny jeans and finally, and most importantly, her red converse. This was her. She wasn't dressed up in glamorous and expensive dresses, she was comfortable and she was herself. It was a shame that herself wasn't someone that Shane could love.
Mitchie hummed to herself as she sunk down in the lift, the time presumably longer than usual. She hummed louder as the screaming in her head became almost unbearable. The shouts of inadequacy, the bellows of inequality and the roars of self-loathing. But no matter how much she hummed, or coughed, or sung the words would not leave her mind.
Well, that was until the lift doors slid open, withholding the one person she had begged not to see. The person who was able to silence her thoughts and her attempts to veil them, the person who was able to stop her limbs from moving and her eyes from blinking, the person who was able to cease her breathing and prevent her heart from beating.
Shane.
"Mitchie, are you o- Why do you have your suitcases?" Shane questioned, panic in his tone as his eyes fell upon the large red bags that Mitchie clutched tightly.
"I'm leaving" Mitchie said bluntly as her respiratory system managed to re-start. She quickly removed her gaze from the look of complete shock that seemed etched upon Shane's features and manoeuvred around him, brushing his shoulder with her own as she past him.
"What?" Shane questioned as he spun around to face her back, his feet unable to move, his body numb.
"I'm leaving" Mitchie repeated casually, taking a deep, therapeutical breath as she continued walking, her limbs desperately trying to protest, but she pushed them forward.
"Where are you going?" Shane questioned, his voice quavering as he watched her move through the lobby, becoming hurtfully close to the doors. "Where are you going?" Shane demanded, finally managing to propel himself into action, circling her hastily moving body and stopping abruptly in front of her. He slid to the side instantly as Mitchie looked away from his pleading eyes, attempting to move around him once more, but Shane was stubborn and in love. He would not just let her leave. "Where are you going?" He said for a third a final time, his voice thick with emotion.
"To another hotel, for now. Then I'm getting a flight home" Mitchie said sternly, desperately trying to keep her tears from flowing and her emotions from being revealed.
"You're actually leaving?" Shane questioned quietly after an elongated silence, franticly trying to understand what it was that was happening.
"Yes" Mitchie stated, not noticing the wince of sheer pain the flashed across Shane's face. His shoulders seemed to slack as Mitchie stepped to the side, successfully passing Shane's seemingly frozen physique.
"Wait?" Shane shouted, gaining the attention of numerous hotel employees and guests.
"What?" Mitchie snapped, turning sharply, her eyes falling upon his hunched back. "Shane, what? I have to get to my hotel"
"Where is it?" Shane asked, abruptly turning around to face her once more. "Which hotel are you going to?" He questioned, his heart twanging in agony as he watched her eyes slip to the floor, her teeth grinding over her lower lip. "You're not going to tell me?" He said rhetorically, nodding regretfully as he watched her small frame. "I don't understand, what's happened?" Shane questioned, his voice dripping in concern as he took a step forward, only to be met by Mitchie raising her hand to him, her eyes begging him not to move any closer.
"Ruby knows it's not rea,l Shane- Tess told her" Mitchie choked out, her voice quivering as she fought back tears.
"Crap." Shane cursed instantly, resentment for Tess flowing through him. His head suddenly felt hot, his mind spinning as he thought of ways to be freed of this predicament. "Damn it" Shane muttered, but quickly realised he had to take control and make Mitchie realise it wasn't worth her leaving him. "It's not the end of the world Mitch, I mean, you shouldn't leave because of it"
"I'm not leaving because of that" Mitchie whispered. "Not entirely"
"What then?" Shane asked exasperated.
"Because- " Mitchie stuttered, her feet subconsciously moving backwards, closer to the door and closer to an easy get away. She could vaguely hear the sounds of muffled screams, coupled with flashing lights. "Because I wasn't pretending, not really" She finally stated, tears beginning to slide down her face.
"You weren't?" Shane questioned, shock reverberating through his entire body, that and relief. The words fell from her mouth easily, her body suddenly feeling light. "I love you for gods sake!" Mitchie shouted, shocking numerous passers by, she inhaled deeply as the words propelled themselves into the air, the heavy weight reapplying to her body and her heart as she realised she had lost a friend.
"You do?" Shane questioned, completely stunned. He couldn't do anything, not yet, not until he was one hundred percent certain that she being truthful. "Then why are you crying?"
"Because, I know how stupid it is! I know you would never love me back. Why would you?" She questioned, looking down at herself with disgust. Shane opened his mouth suddenly to object, knowing all to well how wrong she was, but she continued, talking over and ignoring his first word. "You could have any girl in the world, I know you'd never settle for me" Mitchie continued, the tears now falling freely over her cheeks. "So, I just need some space, I can't be around you, I need to get over you" She finally choked out, wiping away the tears from her cheek, despite knowing more would soon follow.
"Mitchie" Shane said slowly, his heart one step closer to breaking with every morose word that fell from her trembling lips.
"No, Shane don't" Mitchie protested as Shane stepped forward, but he shook his head, his mind intent on striding forward, wrapping his arms lovingly around her waist and placing his lips passionately against hers. "No" Mitchie cried as she turned on her heels, sprinting the last few steps out of the hotel, leaving her bags behind as she cascaded out of the doors.
"Mitchie?" Shane yelled, as he broke into a run, jumping energetically over her fallen bags, following her out of the doors and into the brisk, cold air. But the cold air wasn't all that crashed inevitably against Shane as he ran onto the street. He was suddenly bombarded by screams, teenage girls running towards him as he watched Mitchie's red jumper disappear into the sea of people.
"Mitchie! I love you too" Shane bellowed as arms began to tug on him, ripping his clothes and pulling on his hair. "I love you!" Shane roared desperately as he stretched out his spine, his eyes glazing franticly through the crowd, hoping she would reappear, hoping she had heard him. But she hadn't.
A/n: Hey, I know that was a rather short chapter but it's really just a build up for the final chapter, which is rather long. I've already written chapter 12, it just has to be prove read and needs improvements.....blah blah blah. Anyway, when I upload it depends on the amount of reviews I get, but that's not at all a problem for you guys because a lot of you are so amazing and always review!! Thank you so much.
Did that even make sense!?! Hmmmm, oh well. Review please :) x