In all my Hogwarts years, I'd always kept an eye out for Amos Diggory. It didn't mean much—just that I knew and acknowledged that even at the age of 11, he was distinctly attractive. But it wasn't until Potions class during my fifth year that my feelings towards Amos amounted to more than simple eye candy.
It was the year of our OWL's. Slughorn had decided to give us year-long partners to help us prepare for the examination at the end of the year. And as I clung to Stella, hoping to be her partner, it was Amos's name Diggory called coupling my own.
Stella had slipped her arm out of my grasp and gave me a smile. "Could be worse," she whispered to me. "At least he's cute."
She giggled and waggled her fingers at me as I picked up my bursting satchel and dragged my body over to where Amos was sitting. We'd never spoken before, and, as usual, I got a little nervous. Amos was, after all, the Golden Boy of the Hufflepuff house.
It was that moment that his slow smile had first been directed at me. It felt as if the entire castle had collapsed on top of my lungs. And it felt that way the next time he smiled at me, and the next, and the next. It still did, even with him dating my best friend.
"Hi," I told him shyly, slipping quietly into the seat across from him, putting my bag on the floor.
"Hullo," he said. He pushed his hair out of his face and gestured to the cauldron in front of him. "You any good at Potions? I'm god-awful."
He was correct about that. I did all the work for that entire year because if he so much as touched one of the knives, our entire potion would go up in flames. However, it wasn't like I was a real gem at Potions either, and I barely passed my OWL at the end of the year, but to me, it was so worth it.
Except then it was February. And he turned to me, with my hair frizzy from the heat of the flames under the cauldron, my eyeliner slightly smeared, a drip of sweat working its way down my spine, and another down my forehead and he smiled at me. And although it was at me, it wasn't for me this time. He said, "So you're best friends with Stella, huh?"
And there it was. From that moment on, I was his in. He came to me to get me to introduce them, to ask me how he should ask her out, to give advice about the cryptic things Stella would say. And I cherished every moment, because who was I to complain? He was still talking to me. He was still smiling at me, even if it was for Stella. And he was still touching me, still patting me on the back after a potion well done, still placing his hand on my shoulder as he parted, still taking my hand and squeezing it in thanks as I once again helped him with his Stella problems.
I don't think he ever understood his affect on me, or maybe he was just used to girls falling all over themselves for him. But if it bothered him that I was practically ripping my clothes off for him and presenting myself to him with a bow on top while he chased after my best friend, he didn't show it.
And Stella—well, Stella had always been oblivious. And I never told her how I felt about Amos because I was scared I would jinx it, and I wanted that time I spent with Amos to just be ours. I didn't want to analyze it and over-think it and tear it apart so that all that was left were empty words that Stella and I had put meaning behind that probably wasn't intended, so that it wasn't just Amos and I, but it was Amos and I (and Stella).
It was no surprise when Amos asked her out on Valentines Day. It was no surprise she said yes. The surprise, however, was that although Sirius Black told me he knew guys like Amos didn't fall in love, was that the Hogsmeade trip that I skipped out on, the one where I slept with Sirius Black, marked their one year anniversary. And if he didn't love her, why had he stayed with her for a year now?
When I asked Sirius this question, naked in his bed while he lay next to me, not touching me, he just gave me a look like I already knew the answer to this. And while I gathered my clothes and slipped them back on, while I said goodbye but we did not touch again, while I quietly walked down the steps and returned to my dorm, I could not for the life of me figure it out. I didn't think I ever would, if Sirius was correct.
When Stella slipped back in the room, it was three AM. I knew she must have come back to the castle when all students had to be back from Hogsmeade, and I knew her and Amos had stayed in an abandoned classroom, doing things I didn't want to think about, for hours and hours and hours.
Stella, the next morning, noticed nothing new about me. No alarm went off. My girly bits were not glowing with newfound womanhood. Not that I was really expecting it, but it felt odd that something that so many girls made such a big fuss over couldn't be realized by my best friend. I had sufficiently swiped my V-card, and the day went on normally.
I sat at breakfast the next morning with Stella, Jasey, and Maria. Jasey and Maria were usually always with Stella and I, though they weren't much up for me when I was on my own. Stella was, as usual, the sunshine in the room, while I was the moon—if you wanted her, she came with me. There was no one without the other, except, of course, when it came to Amos.
Who, ironically, then made his way over to us. Although he was a Hufflepuff through and through, he sat with the Gryffindors quite often to be with Stella.
"Hey, beautiful," he said, sliding between Stella and I even though there was no seat between us. I wanted so badly for him to be referring to me, to turn his back on Stella instead of me, to sling his arm across my shoulders and kiss my cheek, but he didn't. It wasn't me he wanted.
Stella, in her usual Stella manner, blushed, her now rosy cheeks enhancing her beauty while she looked up at him with her sparkling blue eyes. "Hey there, cowboy," she said, running a hand through his hair. "How are you?"
"Wonderful," he told her, and that's when I had to tune out. I hated their gooey talk. And I meant that as not only a person in love with one of the participants, but as just a person.
My eyes scanned the hall, attempting to find something to take my mind off the two lovebirds beside me. Jasey and Maria were talking between themselves, and as I looked down the Gryffindor table, I found a pair of eyes on me.
Sirius Black.
Although his best mate, James Potter, seemed to be telling him a very animated story while Remus Lupin grinned and Peter Pettigrew nodded along, Sirius was staring my way. I met his eyes, but his smile did not pop out at me. He glanced over to Stella and Amos and looked back at me, giving me a look. I shrugged, sending him a weak smile, and that was all Jasey needed.
"Brooklyn," she said to me, "Who are you smiling at?"
I refrained from telling her to shove a fork straight up her ass and keep her gossiping nose out of other peoples business, and I said, "No one."
"Was that Sirius Black you were smiling at?" She gave me a look. Maria gave me a look. Stella pulled herself away from Amos for just long enough to give me a look as well.
All three of their faces were incredulous. It obviously didn't need to be pointed out that I don't really do boys, let alone boys of the Sirius Black variety. The three of them, all non-virgins by the age of 15, had lost hope for me when I didn't score a boyfriend after fourth year, and hadn't expressed any interest since then, what with my secret obsession with Amos Diggory and everything. So a smile at the likes of Sirius Black seemed to boggle them beyond belief.
Which, I admit, was slightly satisfying. Especially with Amos sitting next to me.
It boggled them even more when Sirius stood up, making the bench screech in protest against the floor, and walk over in our direction, not paying the slightest attention to James' calls of, "Padfoot? Padfoot, where the bloody hell are you going? I was in the middle of a story, you prat!"
He stopped behind Maria and Jasey, across the table from Stella, Amos, and I. Silence surrounded me, louder than the sound had been. Jasey and Maria wore matching looks, the kind they always got, and directed their disbelieving faces at me.
"Could I have a word, Brooke?" he asked, not once glancing at the girls around me, only sparing one look at Amos before glancing back at me, the epitome of composure.
"Sure," I said, my voice sounding foreign to my own ears, and stood up myself. I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped over the bench. "I'll catch you girls in class, yeah?"
Sirius and I walked out of the hall on opposite sides of the Gryffindor table, our strides matching. It wasn't until we were away from all of our watching peers that I looked at him.
"Thought you wouldn't mind saving," he told me, parking his ass on top of the end of the banister.
I stood in front of him, twisting the strap to my bag in my hands, and asked, "From what?"
He gave me one of his looks. For some reason, this made me angry. Not the look, but the way he thought that, now that he was in on my little secret, he needed to swoop in and save the day and I'd kiss his feet for it.
"Thanks for the thought," I said, "but I don't need saving."
Again, he looked at me funny, but I was getting used to that. "I just figured since—"
"Since what?" I asked. "Since you know my dirty little secret, you can just pull me away when you think it's hard? I've dealt with this for a year now, Black, and I think I can continue to deal with it now."
I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but there it was. He jumped off the banister and brushed past me. "Okay" was all he said, and then he was gone.
AN: Ta-da! Chapter two. Sorry for the long wait. My summer has been extremely uneventful, I have no excuse, I'm just lazy. Thank you to all my reviwers, and a special thank you to Gamble With Desire who not only got my All Time Low references, but has one of her own as her penname. They're my favorite band (: