New Chapter finally, hopefully I'll be updating faster, but with...uh...9(?) stories its slow going. :)

Charlie looked at me and I could tell he was still holding out hope for a miracle. It made me sad for him, because I'd already had my fair share of miracles. I wouldn't be getting any more.

"I'm going to take some time off work Bella," Charlie said gruffly.

I shook my head, "Not yet Dad…Jake is helping me with some stuff for the next few days. You should go to work while you can. And Dad? Don't tell Mom yet please." Charlie started to protest but I shook my head again, "Not yet. We'll tell her before…before it gets bad."

Charlie nodded and gave me a half hearted smile. "After you left the doctor gave me some information. He said eating healthy, taking vitamins and relaxing will make things easier on you." He handed me a few pamphlets and I said goodnight so I could make my way upstairs.

I flipped on my light and started slightly. Jake was sitting on the edge of my bed. He looked up at me and I could see tears streaming down his face. It threw me for a minute. It was easy to forget that even though Jake looked like he was in his twenties, he was really barely seventeen.

"Oh, Jakey!" I settled myself in his lap and wrapped my arms around him. "It's going to be okay Jake."

Jake grabbed my shoulders roughly and pushed me away so he could look in my eyes. "It's not going to be okay Bells. You're nineteen. You are not supposed to die!"

"You think I don't know that Jake? A year ago I was expecting to, well, if not live, exist forever. And now I won't live to see twenty. So you're right Jake. It's not okay. But it is what it is. I'm not going to waste what little time I have sulking." I took a breath. "Jake, I need to know that you'll be okay when I'm gone."

Jake sighed and nodded sullenly, pulling me back against him. I didn't protest when he started kissing my neck or when he laid me down on the bed. He covered my body with his and trailed kisses down my neck. He was murmuring in Quileute in my ear.

"English Jake, English," I moaned softly.

"I love you Bella. Will you marry me?" He continued kissing me, soft pecks on my cheeks and forehead while he looked into my eyes. I didn't say anything right away and so he continued on, "I know what you're thinking Bells. You're too young, I'm too young. But that doesn't matter anymore Bella. It's on your list Bells."

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Please," I answer. "Soon." It has to be soon, there is no other option at this point.

"Saturday? We can go get rings and take care of paperwork tomorrow," Jake offered. I nodded and Jake settled next to me and wrapped me in his hot arms.

When I woke up it was to Charlie scowling at Jake and I. Jake was snoring loudly and I raised my eyebrow at Charlie. I doubted he wanted to make an issue of this now. I elbowed Jake in the ribs gently and he sat up suddenly. "WHAT?!" He looked around, "Oh sorry. Hey Charlie. Morning Bells. What's for breakfast?"

I giggled and even Charlie chuckled, "I'm leaving for work, you two gonna be okay?" Translation: Bella, you're not going to die or have sex right?

"Yeah, we're going to do some errands today," I said. No need to tell him that they involved ring shopping and getting a marriage license. I needed to call Renee. That was one call I wasn't at all looking forward to. She was going to break down and freak out.

Charlie nodded and kissed me on the forehead before leaving. I sighed and laid back down, facing Jake. I let my hands run idly over the muscles of his stomach, and felt him tense underneath my touch. I spent a few minutes tracing the outline of his abs with my fingers and then tongue.

"Bells…not nice to tease," Jake said through clenched teeth.

I smiled and bit his hip gently, "Not teasing Jake." He let out a light moan and pulled me on top of him.

"We've waited this long Bella, we can last another few days," he said and kissed me gently. I could feel him hard in between my thighs along with the wetness that was pooling there.

"Damn virtuous men." I mumbled and rolled off of him. I stalked to the shower with the sound of Jake's throaty laugh following me. I showered quickly, knowing that I needed to call Renee as soon as possible so she could get plane tickets. Should I tell her over the phone? Or wait until she gets here? Both seemed cruel and too hard. How do you tell your mother that she's going to outlive you?

I got out and went back into my room. Jake was on the laptop I'd gotten for Christmas and glanced up, "You're mom called your cell phone three times. I answered on the third time to tell her you were in the shower. She said to call her back ASAP," Jake said.

"Okay. Watcha looking at?" I asked.

Jake looked up and frowned at me, "It's a surprise. No peeking."

A surprise? Hmm, that was only slightly worrisome. A few weeks ago it would have totally freaked me out, but after yesterday I was less easily rattled. I picked up my phone and called my mom back.

"Bella? Honey?" My mom's voice was filled with excitement and I could practically see her buzzing around the house. Crap. I didn't want to ruin her good day.

"Hi Mom, what's up?"

"I'm going to have a baby!" I dropped my phone, Jake's arm shot out and he caught it and gave it back to me without looking up from the laptop.

"You're pregnant?" I asked. I thought I couldn't be surprised anymore. I was wrong. I was glad. My mom wouldn't lose her only child. I didn't let her respond, "Mom that's great! I'm so happy for you! And Phil!"

She babbled happily at me while Jake gave me stern looks. "Mom do you think you could fly here by Saturday?" I interjected.

"Why Bella?"

"Jake and I are getting married. And I need to talk to you about something," I tried to make my tone as happy and un-alarming as possible. And I was happy to be marrying Jake, it was the other part that ruined it.

"Isabella Marie Swan, are you pregnant?" My mom asked.

I groaned, "No Mom, I'm not pregnant."

"Then why are you getting married? And what do you need to talk to me about?" Crap. She would never let up on this now.

"Mom, I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm sick." I heard her breath hitch but she didn't say anything. "I have Leukemia Mom."

"So you have to have Chemotherapy?" She asked.

I sighed, "we're doing everything we can Mom." It was a small fib, but one I thought would help.

"Bella what are you saying?" Her voice was shaky now, all of her excitement gone.

"I'm saying I'd like you and Phil to be here when I get married on Saturday."

I heard her typing and knew she was looking at plane tickets. "There's a flight getting into Sea-Tac tomorrow at 4pm. We'll rent a car and drive to Forks."

"No, Jake and I will pick you up. I need to do some stuff in Seattle anyway. Call me when you land. I love you mom."

"Bella should I be worried?"

Another lie? "No Mom, I don't want you to be worried." And that was the truth. We said our goodbyes and I snapped my phone shut and looked at Jake with a smile, "My Mom's having a baby."

"I heard, congrats big sister." Jake plopped a kiss on my head and I finished getting ready. I didn't say anything but the chances of me actually meeting my sister or brother weren't very good.

I grabbed my birth certificate to take with me to the county office where we would get our marriage certificate. "I hope your Dad is home." I said to Jake and he looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Your Dad has to go with us to Port Angeles, Jake. He'll need to sign something to say you can get married. You're only seventeen." I didn't say that I'd knew this because I'd looked it up when I was seventeen. "I'll tell Billy if you tell Charlie," I said to Jake as I walked down the stairs.

"Not a chance in hell," Jake said with a smile. "So…the wedding…?"

"Small? On the cliffs? Bon fire after? Angela's Dad could marry us?" I made it all a question. I wanted Jake's input.

"If that's what you want Bells. I'll even wear a tux for you."

"We might have to start the honeymoon early if I get to see you in a tux." I teased.

My truck was still at Jake's, and he'd run here last night so Jake climbed onto my bike and settled behind him, my hands splayed on his bare stomach, my body pressed to his. He took off and I pressed my face against his back so I would be partially shielded from the wind.

The drive to La Push was short and we were greeted by Jake's pack. They, of course, knew everything and I was given a round of hugs. Billy wheeled himself out onto the porch, Sue and Leah walking out behind him.

Jake and I joined them, Jake grinning like an idiot. "Dad could you come with Bella and I to Port Angeles now?" He asked.

"Well that would depend why we're going?" Billy said with a grin.

"Bella and I are getting married, Saturday," Jake said quietly. Apparently not quietly enough because a cheer went up behind us and there was another round of hugs, this time accompanied with congratulations.

"We really need to get a move on Jake." I said with a grin.

Jake nodded and we got Billy into the truck. I sat in the middle and Jake slid into the driver's seat again. He'd done some work on the truck and it drove at sixty fairly easily now, although seventy was pushing it. Jake liked to push it.

"We need to stop at the Cullen's house." I said without looking at either Jake or Billy.

Jake let out a little growl, "Why?" I shook my head but smiled. It would be easier to explain when I had what I needed to get. I heard a low rumble in Jake's throat. He didn't know that once I month I went to the Cullen's house.

I directed Jake to the house but held up my hand when he started to follow me inside.

I walked into the Cullen's house and breathed in the musty air. It always hurt me to come here. To see that they no longer lived here. Somehow I always hoped to find one of them, or all of them back and happy. Usually I was dropping something off when I stopped here. Today I was both dropping off and picking up. I went upstairs to Carlisle's office and found it much the same; only the books and paintings were gone.

I sat in the desk chair and found a pen and some stationary.

Edward,

In the end it wasn't being around a monster that killed me, it was being without one.

I'm not blaming you. Exactly the opposite. See you were always afraid that my being with you would get me killed, instead it was being without you.

So I think you're wrong about you going to hell too. I'll be waiting for you wherever I am Edward. Don't follow too soon. I love you.

Bella

I sealed the letter in an envelope and printed Edward's name on the front. I grabbed the box containing all of the scholarship money and dropped the envelope on Edwards's piano. Eventually, maybe years from now or maybe decades or centuries, he would find it and he would know that I loved him.

Jake jogged over to take the heavy box from me. It was a fireproof lock box and it contained 650 one hundred dollar bills. It was all 65,000 dollars that had been sent in the name of the "scholarship" fund that I knew Edward had set up. It wasn't even a good cover story.

I sighed and hopped into the truck, Jake helped Billy in and then went to his side. He took the box from me and I didn't object when he popped the lid. He looked at me wide eyed. "What the hell is this?"

"Our future." He didn't seem convinced by this answer. "It's money that Edward has sent to me every month." I hadn't been planning to use it, but it would come in handy now. Jake didn't say anything more about it and the rest of our drive was quiet.

The marriage license was easy to get, now we had a three days waiting period. Jake had an address written down but wouldn't tell me where we were going. He pulled into a space in front of a tattoo parlor and I looked up at him, "Are you sure? tattoos are permanent…and I'm not…"

I heard the familiar unhappy rumbling in Jake's throat as he hopped out of the truck. "I love you Bells. If you don't want to do this you don't have too…"

"No! I do!" I said quickly. I just didn't want him stuck with a reminder of me forever when I wouldn't be around for even a year. Still this was his decision so I followed him into the tattoo shop and smiled. Anything for Jake to be happy.

Are we still liking it?