(A/N): First I would like to thank immzw4 again for making this more enjoyable for my readers.

I will deliver a friendly warning right from the start, for good or bad there is a certainty that I will be more brutal then SM with her characters

Hope you enjoy this third chapter.

'One cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war' – Albert Einstein

Chapter III

Bella's POV

There I was , lying in my bed, clutching my cell phone in my right hand and mindlessly chewing a corner of it, trying without much effort to distract myself.

But it didn't help; I was staring at Jake's shirt resting on the back of my chair. No matter which way I tried to look at it, I felt it was judging me.

Stupid shirt.

I could see Jacob's face when he picked up the second phone call and broke our more-then-friends-but-less-then-he-thought-it-meant kiss. Why did we always end up in this stupid grey area? I knew he would never let this go.

While he was talking to Sam half-heartedly, he was trying to decipher my reaction, I think. But I was keeping busy, taking my stuff out of the dryer and putting my pants back on and looking around for my shoes.

Both were still damp, especially the shoes, but it didn't matter. I had to get out of there, away from him as fast as I could.

He caught up with me just as I closed the door of my truck. I wanted to run away from him, put my truck in gear and speed away from him and the hurt I could see in his eyes, but I lowered the glass separating us.

Most of what we exchanged was a jumble in my head, but the hurt and the incomprehension on his face were engraved into the back of my skull like a painful reminder that I should think before I acted.

That my actions could have very powerful reactions, especially when Jacob, my lips, his lips were in the equation.

ARGH!

I tried to turn to the side and bury my head into my pillow to block everything out, but my hands betrayed me a moment later when I angled my pillow just enough to catch a glimpse of black fabric lying on my chair.

Why did I do this? I knew for a fact that defining my relationship with Jacob would result in my brain hemorrhaging. I didn't want to go there. Simply put, I would have to sort out a lot of my emotions and feelings for Jacob and Edward.

There, I could say his name. Weird. Usually I would feel my body implode toward my chest when I even thought his name.

Anyway, now was not the time, I needed to be strong for Charlie.

With frustration, I threw my pillow away from and glimpsed at the clock on the night table.

Three hours before I needed to go and join Charlie and the rest of them to pay my respects to Sue and the kids. I felt so sad, they were so young to be without a father, and in that moment I felt glad to have my grumpy, yet loving father in my life.

I could head out sooner and grab something on the way for Charlie to eat, but that would mean facing Jake sooner then I wasn't ready for him.

Well, time to take action and clear my mind, I knew I had messages waiting for me from Renee on my dinosaur, also known as my slow computer. I needed to let her know the terrible news. She knew the Clearwaters from her time in Forks.

As I quickly went through her last message, I learn that Phil is doing great, his "kids" are on a winning streak and the team is doing a lot better since he took over. The house is great, again I would love it. Sunny, hot and dry, why did she have to brag?

I quickly wrote back, my heart and mind half into it, no matter what I tried to do with my hands to distract myself; my mind was running back to the events back at Jake's place. After letting Renee know about Harry, the remaining content of my message was pretty generic, and before making a fool of myself I signed it and sent it away.

A loud knock on the door broke my short reverie as I was staring blankly at my screen, still mulling over my thoughts.

Distractedly I headed downstairs to answer the door, and with all the grace of an elephant in combat boots I manage to miss the last step and while my freefall lasted less then a second, it was enough to ensure that I managed to bite my lower lips with enough force to split it open and I could feel the tangy-metallic taste of my own blood in my mouth.

Pausing a second to let my still racing heart return to its rightful position in my chest, I was graced with another very loud knock on the door.

"Bella, it's me", I heard Jacob say trough the door.

Damn, not him, not now.

My lower lip felt like it was expanding as I ran my tongue over it and I had to take hold of the ramp as I felt a rush of vertigo hit me as I tasted another mouthful of my own blood.

Holding my hand over my mouth, I opened the door and I took in the sight of Jacob, filling the whole frame of the door, his muscular russet body blocking most of the light coming from outside.

I looked up at him, still holding my hand over my mouth, and there he was staring down at me with a mix of frustration and incomprehension in his eyes.

"Hey Jake", I muttered through my hand, still in front of my mouth, trying to sound matter-of-factly, but failing pathetically as my voice broke.

As he entered, he forced me to retreat a couple of steps, and reflexively I obliged, like a couple dancing, well trying to dance I should say, as it wasn't very graceful on my part.

He closed the door behind him with a loud thud and I can see anger taking over, he seemed to be on the verge of exploding, his hands shaking a little.

"What happened back there Bells, you can just kiss and run on a guy!", he spat angrily throwing his arms out wide to accentuate his frustration.

Taken aback and feeling frustrated at being backed into a corner, I cross my arms over my chest and take a step back toward him but I stop short as his eyes completely changed from frustration, to shock and finally to concern in a moment.

"What happened to your lip?", he asked, gently grabbing my chin with two of his fingers and lowering down to take a better look at it.

'I missed a step coming down to answer some Cro-Magnon battering my front door' I snapped back, still a bit peeved at how he barged in.

I turn my head away from him and force myself to look at him as once again, he stood barely clothed in my living room. No matter how much I was trying to stay mad at him, just looking into his face was melting my own anger away. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew he had every right to be.

"Let me take a look at it", he said after a short moment, leading me toward the kitchen gently by the arm.

As much as I was putting on a brave façade, it was starting to make my head spin a little; maybe I did bite down a lot harder then I first thought.

Without asking, he lifted me effortlessly by the waist and made me sit on the counter beside the sink like I was a kid being treated by my parents.

"Jake, we need to discuss the simple basic laws of personal space!", I chastised as he smirked back, turning on the cold water, grabbing a clean towel, and wetting it.

I tried to look away as I could feel his warm breath on my face and I suddenly became aware once again of my proximity to his warm, toned body.

Nope, so not going there right now. Remember, mad, personal space, grrrr.

"Ok, look Ja…", but before I can finish my sentence, he starts cleaning my lower lip with the damp cloth with a gentleness that someone would think impossible from someone his size.

Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes as he was tenderly cleaning my wound with the damp cold cloth, forcing my lip down to take a better look. He was being gentle, but he did smirk again when he saw a couple of tears run down my cheek.

"Stop being such a baby Bella, it's just a small cut"' he commented while returning the cloth under the running water to wash some of the blood away and rewet it with cooler water.

I just stared at him defiantly and with the back of my sleeve, I wiped the tears away.

He carefully pressed the damp cloth against the gash, and takes my hand up to it to hold it while he headed toward the refrigerator. He opened it and grabbed the ice cube tray. He walked back toward me with a mischievous grin, mildly amused by all of this.

I glared at him while he turned the faucet to stop the water, and took a couple of cubes out of the tray. I took the damp cloth away from my lips and unfolded it and he puts the ice inside of it. I folded it back up and with a grimace, I put the cloth back to my wound.

We stared at each other in silence for a long moment. Well, what now, I was trying to really see him, see what I did yesterday.

"Look Bella, I don't know what happened this morning, but something did happen. We kissed", he stated, more calmly then I expected.

I could really see it now, my Jacob. Behind the new body, the small kid was there, insecure, terrified. And it broke my heart a little more, because I didn't think I have it in me to give him what he wanted from me.

"Jacob, I am sorry. I never meant for it to happen. You seemed so distressed, so fragile this morning. I only wanted to comfort you," I started, but he interrupted me with a heavy sigh.

"I know you have a lot going on Bella, but I am here and I am not going anywhere. I felt something in that kiss this morning. You can't deny it," he said back, still sounding insecure.

"Jacob, it was a mistake, I don't have it in me to open up that way to anyone else right now. I don't even know if I will be able to open myself up to anybody else that way," I whispered, holding his eyes with mine.

I could see the doubts, the hurt in his and I heard another faint crack from my chest. Anything I did would end up hurting him right now.

He shook his head lightly, and to my astonishment he smiled back at me. I could see his eyes were not totally into it, but he seemed to have come to a sort of conclusion.

He gently took my other hand, the one not holding the damp bloody makeshift ice pack.

"Okay Bells, I'll make a deal with you. I will not kiss you again until you ask me to," he says smiling proudly.

My heart sinks a bit and I let out a sigh of desperation but he lifts a hand to interrupt my reply.

"Just think about it. For now, we will just be Bella and Jacob, best friends." He nods to emphasize his statement and raises our joined hands to emphasize his words.

I couldn't help but smile back at him, a genuine smile that also happens to turn into a grimace as the barely coagulated wound on my lips seemed to crack open again as it sent a little tremor of pain through my lower lip.

I can see in his eyes that he won't let it go, but he seemed content to keep the status-quo and I needed the time to sort all the broken pieces of my heart. I knew he had a special place in it, but right now I just needed time.