Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Many thanks to her for allowing their use by others.
A/N: Many many thanks to Mbs Tnuccio for her amazing tolerance of my formatting changes and forgetting to use spell and grammar check before sending the document. Also for the amazing ability to know exactly what word I need when I, myself, do not. I'm so glad you're back!
Also thanks to Ava Sinclair for pointing out a few rough spots...and pointedly asking the questions: What Would Alice Do?...are you sure?
Finally for a little background on Alice's hobby read The Original by Mandi1. Her little one-shot was initially my inspiration for trying this story from Alice's POV. Reading it isn't necessary to understand this chapter, but it's an ah-hah thing. C.J. Rae used with permission.
Dissension
Independent thoughts and unsought premonitions battled for my mind as I struggled to focus solely on running. A moment's peace, I thought to myself, I just need a moment's peace. The onslaught would occur the minute I relaxed, I was sure. I kept my eyes unnecessarily on the path and anticipated where each foot should fall. The snowy forest yawned; my refuge rose in the clearing as white and pure as the snow itself. My footsteps were light on the wooden stairs, but Esme was already waiting in the open doorway.
"Alice! What's wrong?" Worry creased Esme's perfect brow. Intuition flashed in her amber eyes and she sagged against the doorframe. "What did he do now?" I could see that she struggled to keep the edge of anguish from her voice. Oh why was he doing this to us? I wailed internally It has to be love…any other reason and I will kill him myself.
"He prevented Bella Swan from being killed in a car accident in the school parking lot."
"That doesn't sound like- wait, did you say prevented? You're making it sound as if it was supposed to happen, Alice." Esme sounded shocked and disappointed.
"It's not that I wanted it to happen, Esme…I –I need to talk to you please." I felt myself losing control over my mind and my emotions, so I rushed to complete my explanation.
Esme must have sensed my impending breakdown. "Goodness, Alice, lets sit down."
In the second it took to get to the couch, I wondered, bizarrely, if my human mother had been anything like Esme. Carlisle may have provided the threads, but it was Esme who wove us into this tapestry of a family. We sat, face to face, and she took my hands in hers. Her face was anxious, but I could tell she was trying to be patient to put me at ease. I took a deep breath, and attempted to fill her in as quickly as possible.
"He's not leaving again; at least I haven't seen that he is." I knew what must have been plaguing her thoughts, especially after the first incident with Bella Swan.
I continued after some of the tension drained from her beautiful face. "I'm sorry Esme. I never intended to cause any additional discord in our family due to Bella Swan. It all started yesterday when Edward broke his promise to avoid contact with her. He said he only spoke to her to assure her that he was indeed civil."
Esme's somber face belied the sudden softness in her eyes hearing of Edward's chivalrous act. She was more concerned about his manners than his promise. I knew Edward and I would have an ally in her.
"From the moment that he decided to break his promise, I've had reoccurring premonitions of Bella Swan's death. Edward's intentional contact with her set the wheels of fate in motion. Even when he said he wouldn't speak to her again, she still kept showing up dead. Worst of all, he shrugged off my insistence that he doomed her. He then justified his actions by promising to protect her."
Esme gasped and looked horrified. I slowly shook my head, reliving the conversation with Edward.
"I promised that I'd try to help him, that I wouldn't tell the others what he had done. I couldn't handle the fighting again; Jasper has only just gotten over his irritation with my support of Edward's return to school. It was a bad decision, Esme, and I'm sorry. This is more my fault than Edward's, I should have told you or Carlisle."
"Alice, honey, I'm not looking to point the finger at anyone. I just want to know if the situation, as it is now, can be salvaged. What happened this morning?"
"She was going to be crushed between her truck and a runaway van. I didn't foresee the accident, but I did have a vision when Edward decided to save her. I tried to stop him, but he anticipated my grab. He did things that humans should notice, Esme. Thank goodness the humans in the parking lot didn't seem aware anything was amiss. Bella Swan on the other hand, was, and still is suspicious."
As the words tumbled from my mouth, the hospital flickered into my mind. Edward and Bella Swan are standing in a hallway, both frustrated. She is questioning him, and he is attempting to turn her observations into nonsense. Amazingly, she will agree to lie, only wanting to know why she must. The stubborn set to her jaw illustrates her continued suspicion. The scene jumps to the sunny-yellow kitchen and a prime opportunity to confide in her father. She will stick to her decision to tell no one what she thinks.
I became aware of Esme patting my leg and softly calling my name. I could feel my face contorted into a puzzled frown. Why will she choose to tell no one? I looked at Esme's concerned expression and immediately began to explain what I had seen.
"She's confronting him, and he's denying everything. She has decided not to tell anyone what she thinks happened. It's such an unusual human reaction, I don't understand her motivation. It's almost like she's not a human. I do, however, think I understand his now."
Esme raised a delicate eyebrow.
"I think he cares for her, for Bella Swan." The eyebrow rose almost to her hairline. I continued, hurriedly, it was all starting to fall into place, "He was worried she thought him uncivil…he insisted on protecting her from a fate he believed he caused…he was distraught every time he saw my vision 0f her dead. But, she wouldn't have been the first dead person he's ever seench…" I hesitated, and then decided I would wait until after I talked with Edward to tell Esme about seeing Bella and her newborn eyes.
Esme looked confused with my sudden change in mood as I hopped up from the couch. The shock of my realization made me want to be alone with my thoughts and Edward had decided to stop at home before going to school. "Esme, he's coming home. He'll be here in a few minutes. I'm going to go upstairs to sketch for awhile."
I needed to get away from both of them to calm my racing mind before he could hear it. I needed to draw, to bury myself in coats and hats, wool and silk. What kind of power did this girl possess to make him hide from me? Why hadn't he confided in me his feelings for her? Why was I still thinking about this? Some of Edward's obsessive over-thinking must be rubbing off on me.
I climbed the winding staircase two stairs at a time and traipsed down the hall into my sanctuary. The bed would be finished by tomorrow, and according to a recent vision, I would be receiving Emmett's apology silks this afternoon. Tucked away in the corner of the room was an antique drafting table, a gift from Jasper when I had decided to start my first designer line four years ago. I had always loved fashion, and had channeled most of my passion into appreciation and buying. Jasper and Edward had encouraged me to try my hand at creation. Jazz had bought me the table and high stool; Edward had trademarked a name made from initials of our family members and created a beautiful and unique logo. C.J. Rae had been an almost immediate success. It was the most fun I had experienced in ages. Prototypes were created; Rosalie and Edward had modeled for still shots, and the line was picked up by Saks Fifth Avenue, Barney's, and Bloomingdales. It became popular enough to be in Vogue by the time we'd moved to Forks, with knock-offs found in the little touristy towns nearby. I stopped designing a year after moving here; I was too busy to give the line the attention it needed. It was high time to start something new.
I settled onto the stool and threw all of my nervous energy into the graphite and paper. Winter line…something appropriate for the dismal weather here. Overcoats…perfect.
I heard Edward greet Esme, then silence. Footsteps sounded on the stairs and down the hall, hesitating in front of my door. I slipped quickly from my perch and opened the door before he could knock, knowing already that he would. His forbidding eyes burned in his grim façade.
"Go on Alice, just say it."
I turned without a word and walked back to my table. I don't want to say it Edward. I'm not getting an ounce of pleasure from this. Do you want to talk?
"I was going to go back to school; I wasn't expecting you to be here. Are you staying?"
My eyes didn't move from the paper. I can't go back today. I had to sob my concern about you to Mrs. Cope to get the old bat to excuse me. I'm sure her thoughts were fascinating. My hand moved the stick of graphite smoothly across the paper and an overcoat appeared from the scattered lines. New Zealand merino wool for the outer…
"Alice, I'm not going if you aren't. I can't face the three of them alone." His shoulders drooped and he pressed his fingers to the bridge of this nose. "I don't even know if I want to be here tonight when they come home…"
"Yeah, they're pretty angry. Jasper didn't even kiss me goodbye before he went to class. Rest assured, I'm sure I'm in the doghouse with you." The overcoat grew oversized lapels and a wide belt under my pencil. I stopped the motion of my hand and rested my forehead lightly against my forearm. Edward, I really want to talk to you, can we go to our rock?
He walked up behind me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "I'll meet you there, Alice. I've got a few things to explain to Esme first." He gave my shoulder a little squeeze then was gone. I stared at the coat willing my thoughts to remain focused on the design. Surprise was my best weapon at getting an honest response from my brother, champion prevaricator. Silk lining, double-breasted front…I'm going to need a new name, I can't bring C.J. back after two years. Edward, help me with a name please.
I dropped the pencil into the engraved groove at the bottom of the desk and slipped off the stool to land on my toes.I escaped into my cavernous closet to further divert my thoughts and ease my sudden nervousness at confronting Edward about his intentions with this human girl. Something casual…jeans and sweater, cashmere of course… A vision pulled at the back of my mind and I ignored it, concentrating more on the bars of clothing in my closet. I occasionally regretted the inability to screen the vision before having it. I had no idea if Edward was listening or not, and I couldn't afford for him to see anything yet.
"Alice! You're beautiful enough, there's no need to change for a casual stroll through the snowy forest." His voice was filled with faux annoyance; I could almost see the small smile on his face as he said it. I smiled as I pulled my mind to Esme to see her immediate plans. I was rewarded with a single image of her sitting with Carlisle in his office at the hospital. I was afraid to lower my controls and look harder; I didn't want anything unwanted to creep in.
"Alice Cullen! I'll come up there and get you myself. She already left for the hospital, quit being nosey!"
Smiling, I skipped down the stairs. As my feet hit the bottom step I brazenly called out a challenge. I'll race you there. If I win you have to promise to answer all of my questions! As I leapt the porch stairs I heard the back door slam. I had enough of a head start that I knew I would win. I didn't even need to look ahead to know. The biting wind whistled in my ears as "our" rock loomed into my line of sight. Edward's footfalls pounded just slightly behind me; I could feel him pushing to get close enough to grab the back of my sweater. Almost there…
"Beat you!" I jumped to land on top of the rock and laughed as he crashed against it, shards of rock flying into the surrounding forest. "So you have to answer me honestly Edward Anthony Cullen." I gleefully bounced around on my perch, hoping he would actually acquiesce.
He leaned his stomach against the rock and rested his chin on his palms. Raised eyebrows and expectant eyes met my eager gaze. No holding back, there was no making this easier for him. I was tired of tiptoeing around Edward for fear of sending him into a full-blown brood. I want to know why.
I refused to lower my eyes from his angry glare; I would not look away first. Be honest, no quibbling. Leave nothing out. He sighed and the anger faded from his golden eyes.
"I don't know why Alice." I pursed my lips in disbelief. "I just know that I would have felt guilty if she would have died. It's my fault that she's in danger now, and my responsibility to keep her safe." It sounded as if he was trying to convince both of us that responsibility was his motivation.
My eyebrow rose of its own accord. Right... What did you say before you ran to her?
He looked at me, puzzled. I could see him running through all the events in his mind trying to figure out what I was asking.
I held his gaze and pulled the memory into my mind. I was standing on the other side of the car. You looked horrified and you whispered something. It was short, quiet, and quick so I didn't hear you. As I explained I recalled his lips swiftly muttering those two short words. "Not here", maybe? That's kind of what it looked like, made sense to me. If she had been anywhere less conspicuous I would have saved her myself.
I saw recognition change to guilt in his eyes before he broke eye contact and looked out over my head to the frigid river. He hesitated, and I knew he was going to try to avoid the question. Answer it, boyo. I have committed to stick by you Edward; I, at the very least, deserve your honesty. He nodded, but continued to gaze at where the overcast sky met the sluggish water.
"Not her." He murmured, eyes far away, and again I almost missed it.
"Not her?! Oh Edward…I'm only going to ask you one more question, and you don't have to answer it, actually I'd prefer if you don't answer it, at least not right now." I took a deep breath, "Are you in love with Bella Swan?"
He jumped as if I'd bitten him and his eyes flew to mine. He backed away from the rock, arms up and palms out shaking his head frantically. "Preposterous! Alice, how can you even say that? She's human, I fight the urge to kill her every moment I'm near her, I've destined her to an early death…Is that how one treats the one they love…"
"Enough! I said I didn't want your answer now." I cut him off before his emotional state could escalate further. "I just thought I would give you something else to brood about. Now I'll believe you justified to mope." I finished with a smirk, and neatly dodged a foreseen grab at my arm. My words and tone had the desired effect. It may have sounded like a joke, but I had given him something to think about.
We continued to talk for the rest of the morning through to the afternoon, working initials in to various arrangements trying to come up with a new name for my new company. It was like old times; Edward was lighthearted and joking throwing out hideous letter combinations and words. Before we could think of anything that I actually wanted to use, the approaching Volvo appeared in my mind. The stony faces of the three passengers brought on another vision, this one more sobering than the last. A fight, the worst we've had, is on the horizon. The future of our family is cloudy at best. There were too many missing decisions for me to see the outcome.
"I'm behind you Edward. I know about the confrontation in the hospital with Bella, and I've seen she won't discuss her suspicions with anyone."
He frowned and turned to walk back to the house. I slipped from my perch on the rock and skipped to catch up. He was back to pinching the bridge of his nose.
"It will all work out ok."
"You can't say that Alice. I just saw that vision too, there is no happy ending. They'll cast me out. Oh I know, Esme would protest, but she would be outnumbered. Rosalie was ready to disown me today in the parking lot."
I took his hand and pulled him to a stop. "I told you, I'm behind you Edward. No one is going to make you leave. We aren't a family without you."
He pulled his hand from mine and placed them gently on my shoulders. "Lets be honest little sister." His small smile was heartrending and his golden eyes were distressed. "When the lines are drawn you'll be in a rough place. I know you will support me as long as you can, but what if you have to make a choice?"
I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I didn't trust myself to speak. It wouldn't come to that. Jasper would never make me choose. Are you saying you would?
"Never." His voice was rough and his hands tightened on my shoulders. "You, Carlisle, and Esme are all I have. I don't want any of you to ever have to choose me over someone else you love."
My lips curved into a sad smile. Edward, eventually you are going to be in a situation where you will make people choose. They may not be happy with you for it, but it will be necessary. Just make sure it's worth it.
His hands squeezed once more before dropping to his sides. He nodded belatedly to my internal comments and reflected my sad smile with one of his own. We turned together and ran to the house. I could feel the apprehension and anger radiating from the house as we approached. My poor Jasper, he must be in agony with the crushing waves of emotion rolling off of everyone. Edward didn't acknowledge my thought; he must have been immersed in the coming altercation. The air around the house smelled like conflict. My nose wrinkled at the stink; it made my pure white refuge seem like a menacing ghost house. Ready or not here we come…
I threw my arm out to stop Edward as I hesitated on the porch. He waited patiently as I closed my eyes and focused on Rosalie, Jasper, and Emmett. It would be easier to diffuse any violence before it actually happened.
The vision washed over me, vivid and loud. Emmett's ham-sized hands grab Edward as we open the door and pin him to the wall. Rosalie's ebony eyes flash fire as she shouts accusations and ultimatums. Most heartbreaking for me is Jasper's vehement silence; he says nothing aloud, but the rage radiates from him feeding Rosalie and Emmett's anger. The thoughts he must be hurling at Edward would be much more painful than Emmett's physical intimidation. Esme and Carlisle are nowhere to be seen; they must not be back from the hospital yet. I can see the Mercedes flying down the secluded road about 5 miles from the house.
When awareness of the present returned, I found myself crouched on the wooden stoop. Edward's hand rested lightly on the back of my neck as he knelt next to me.
"We're going to have to reevaluate the situation I think." He said grimly.
I nodded soundlessly as I tried to bring myself back to now. I'll go in first and talk to them. Carlisle and Esme should be here in a couple of minutes. Come in with them. He nodded and slipped noiselessly from the porch and melted into the woods. I took a deep breath and uttered a warning.
"Emmett, I am coming in there. I saw what you were going to do. Do not touch me, understand?"
"Our fight isn't with you, Alice…although Rosalie believes you had a hand in today's events." I heard Jasper growl and I imagined Emmett backing from the door hands up in mock surrender.
"What Rosalie believes and what is the truth are usually two different things. I'm coming in to talk about said events."
I crossed the threshold and walked past Emmett's raised hands and a hostile Rosalie to Jasper, stooped on one knee against the far wall. I put my hands on either side of his face and kissed him lightly.
"Jasper," I murmured softly, "He is your brother…He is our brother. This type of ambush is disrespect personified. I'm so disappointed."
His posture stiffened at my words, but he left his face in my hands and closed his eyes. I raised my hand to push his golden hair from his eyes, tracing a scar that curved from the corner of his eye to his temple. Muscle by muscle, he relaxed under my light touch, an impressive feat considering the wrath that Rosalie projected into the room. He trembled with the effort to remain calm in this room of rage. I leaned forward and brushed his trembling lips with my own.
"I love you Jazz, thank you." I whispered our daily invocation, which had been lost this morning in the chaos and discontent. It was a bit of a low blow to remind him now of how much I appreciated his commitment and self-sacrifice.
"For you, my Alice….anything." The minute hesitation was heartbreaking. I could feel how torn he was by the words, how his promise both liberated and trapped him. Then the tension was back and no amount of tenderness on my part took it away.
I trailed my fingers down Jasper's arm as I stepped into the center of the room. Here we go Edward. Carlisle and Esme will be here in two minutes. See you in a few.
"I'm here now to ask the three of you: What were you thinking?!" I looked Emmett right in the eye, and he dropped his gaze, chagrined. "Edward is our brother. We are not nomads. We are not wild ones or newborns who kill our own. We are a family."
I turned into Rosalie's wrathful glare. "Don't you remember what it means to be family?" I looked pointedly at her until she dropped her eyes from mine. "This is the only family I've ever known and that alone was enough to make me realize I should listen to Edward before I curse him. I don't have human memories to guide me, yet, in this moment, I am more human than you who do."
I could hear Esme, Carlisle, and Edward as they approached the house. The tension had dissipated somewhat. Shame could be a useful tool. I hoped, now, that we could start a civil discussion. Emmett had moved to Rosalie's side. He looked somewhat ashamed, but Rosalie's eyes still burned despite my little speech. Jasper hadn't moved, so I walked over to lean against him. His arm slid around my waist and I relaxed with a sigh.
The door opened and Carlisle entered the room first, followed by Esme then Edward. Carlisle's eyebrows rose in surprise at the silent gathering and tense atmosphere. Edward must not have told him what I had seen. Always protecting someone, aren't you? I closed my eyes and relaxed further as I slid down the wall to sit with my chin on my bent knees, hand in Jasper's hand.
Bella appeared before I could stop the vision. She was so beautiful. This time a small smile curved her full lips, her eyes circled with familiar purple smudges. One hand lay peacefully between her breasts, the other clasped by long, piano-players fingers. Her eyelids fluttered open and the shocking ruby irises seem to stare into my soul. I was jerked from the vision by Edward's guttural shout.
"NO!"