Culture Clash
(Chapter Two of A Soldier Now)
By BookwormDragon

Disclaimer: Neither Transformers nor any of the Characters in Transformers belong to me. No profit is made from this story on my part. No copyright infringement is intended.

Ironhide was scheming.

Both he and the human youngling, Sam, had survived the battle at Mission City. True, they had lost Jazz and the AllSpark had been destroyed. But most of them had survived, nonetheless.

And now it was time for him to keep a little promise to himself: Sam's training as a Warrior.

Actually, he was rather puzzled that the other human warriors hadn't already begun to train the youngling. They protected him and welcomed his company, but made no move instruct him in their version of the Warrior's Way. Was he expected to figure it out for himself? Survive or Die? Ironhide sincerely hoped not. Denying young warriors the knowledge and training they needed to function at an optimal level was far too close to Decepticon training methods for his comfort.

Perhaps, in the chaos following Megatron's defeat, the humans had simply forgotten the youngling's change in status? He knew that their organic processors were prone to such errors, and it was certainly a far more palatable explanation for their behavior.

Well, just this once, he would take care of the matter for them. Training younglings was part of his job description, after all.

But before he could get started, he needed to understand what was expected of Human Warriors. Also, he needed to know the capabilities and limitations of the Human body. If Sam was an Autobot, Ironhide would have taught him how to use his built-in weaponry and how to think creatively in order to devise more weapons, no matter what the situation. But Sam wasn't an Autobot. He was a fragile human, and humans didn't come with built-in cannons, sadly.

So he conducted research. He started with the Internet, that human source of endless – although sometimes contradictory and unreliable – information.

Then, he moved on to the private databases. It was no effort at all for him to slip past their primitive security measures – most of the time, that is. There were a few data collections that he simply could not penetrate, no matter how hard he tried.

It was rather intriguing, actually. He had no trouble slipping unnoticed into their supposedly most secure military data collections, but he was unable to gain access to a data collection concerning their primitive efforts to observe the greater universe. Project Stargate, they called it. He could "sense" the data's existence, but he couldn't access it. He hadn't realized that the humans had progressed far enough to create a digital security scheme that he couldn't penetrate. And if they had, why not use it more liberally?

He sent a quick info packet on the matter to Optimus Prime. Doubtlessly, Optimus would assign it to Bumblebee, who had both far more experience with the Humans' information network and plenty of free time to work on it. That taken care of, he returned to his own data search.

Finally, after he had exhausted all secondary sources of information, he turned to a more direct source: the NEST soldiers. More specifically, he turned to his own charge, Major William Lennox. At the very least, he wanted to verify the information which he had previously gathered, as well as make sure that he hadn't overlooked any subtle cultural nuances.

This was where he ran into opposition. Oh, Will was more than willing to talk about the capabilities and limitations of the human body, and about his country's version of the Warrior's Way. He went into great detail about what his own training as a Warrior had entailed, and spoke about some of the missions which he had previously participated in. He couldn't tell Ironhide the details of some of them, due to his oaths of allegiance, but he was otherwise very forthcoming.

No, the problem came when he discovered the primary motivation for Ironhide's questions.

"Sam?! Sam's just a kid, a civilian! He has no business on the battlefield; he's far too young for that, Ironhide! He needs to be protected, not shoved into some war!"

"But I clearly heard you state that Sam was, and I quote, 'a Soldier now'. Did you speak untruthfully?"

"You mean what I said to him in Mission City? That was strictly situational, Ironhide. He was the best choice for a necessary job – he just needed a little motivation and a confidence boost. So I gave him one. But it wasn't like I drafted him into the military or something. It doesn't work like that for humans, buddy."

"It was not a permanent upgrade in status?"

"Of course not! We don't send children into battle, Ironhide."

"Your statement is erroneous. If Sam is indeed an example of 'child' status, then sending children into battle is a common practice among humans. According to the data I have collected, in some regions of this planet, children as young as 10 Earth years make up the bulk of a fighting force."

"That's, I mean, we would never…" Will sputtered angrily for a moment before forcibly calming down. "That's not what I meant, Ironhide. I know that there are some places where children are forced to become soldiers, but we consider such practices to be uncivilized and barbaric. When I said 'we', I meant the United States of America. We don't send children into battle. War is for adults."

"And Sam is not considered to be an adult."

"Right. In America, you reach provisional adult status when you turn 18.*"

"That is unfortunate."

"What? Why?"

"I was not the only being who heard your declaration of Sam's change in status, Will. There were also several Decepticons within auditory range when you made the statement."

"So?"

"When I heard your statement, I informed my comrades. The Decepticons most likely did the same. While the combatant status of humans is probably not as important to the Decepticons as it is to us, there are some among them who still retain a sense of honor. Sam's perceived change in status makes him a valid military target for all."

"I thought that Starscream was the only Decepticon there who survived?"

"But not the only Decepticon remaining on Earth. And more arrive regularly, as you know. Remember, data exchange is a simple matter for us, and doesn't require close proximity. Doubtlessly, all Decepticons are now aware of Sam's change in status."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Agreed. Sam's survival may depend upon his ability to protect himself."

"Would it really make that much difference? I mean, most of our weapons don't have any effect on you guys anyway, and it's not like we can take you in hand-to-hand combat."

"All the more reason to devise a training plan that will remedy these weaknesses. Not only for Sam, but for all the human NEST soldiers."

"Alright, I agree with the need for more training for the NEST soldiers, but I'm still not convinced that it's necessary for Sam."

"That's a very Decepticon** attitude, Major!" Ironhide was getting tired of his human's stubborn refusal to accept reality. "Placing someone in a dangerous situation while denying them the abilities needed to protect themselves. I had not realized that you were so lacking in honor!"

"Hey! That's just over the line! I have honor and I'm certainly not a Decepticon. You're the one who wants to send a kid into battle, not me! I don't have to sit here and take this kind of crap from you!" With that, the Major practically threw himself out of Ironhide's cab and stormed away, slamming the door angrily behind him.

Ironhide winced internally, but made no move to stop his human. He had regretted his words as soon as they left his vocal processor, but by then it had already been too late. As the human saying went, words could not be unsaid.

He should have had better control, shouldn't have lost his temper like that. Misunderstandings like this were bound to occur when interacting with new species and cultures. It was to be expected.

But the thought of turning Sparklings into Warriors was a very sensitive one for him, and triggered old memory files that he'd rather not review again. He had once shared the Major's views, long ago, when their civil war had been relatively new and they had still believed that peace was possible and within reach. The cost of stubbornly clinging to his naïve beliefs had been bitterly high: He could still see their spark-less, damaged little bodies…if only he had not so stubbornly refused to allow them the needed weapons upgrades, perhaps some of them would have survived. Pit-bound dishonorable Decepticons!

Almost viciously, he terminated the pit-spawned memory file and shoved it into his most secure memory archive, locking it behind several layers of additional security. Maybe it would stay there, this time. If only he could delete it. But it was designated as a pivotal personality memory, and could therefore not be deleted without a medical override. An override that Rachet would never provide, it was simply too dangerous. Like it or not, Ironhide's current personality had been deeply influenced by those long-ago events, and removing the memory file might destabilize his core identity. He was stuck with it.

Forcefully shifting his attention away from the past, he turned it back to working on the plan, at the same time monitoring the Major's vital signs. He would wait until his human had calmed down a bit, and then seek him out again. After he had apologized for his hasty and undeserved accusations, they could discuss the situation like civilized beings. In a better universe, he could have simply let the matter go, but this was not such a universe. He would not permit the past to repeat itself, even if it meant fighting with his human friend.

*I figure that Sam is seventeen at the most. Whether this is because he skipped a grade or because he started school early thanks to where his birthday landed, I'm not sure. Will hates the fact that many of the enemy combatants in Iraq were so young, and he clings rather fiercely to the idealistic view that Sam is an innocent child in need of protection. Sort of overcompensating for his experiences in Iraq. He may not have been able to change things over there, but Sam represents the quintessential American boy, and he's determined not to allow anything to tarnish that image.

**Ironhide's views of Decepticons are, naturally, almost entirely negative. Over time, the Autobots have come to ascribe all negative and immoral behavior to the Decepticons. So, while Decepticons might not actually do something like this (it would be a waste of resources, for one thing), Ironhide certainly wouldn't put it past them. And, of course, comparing anything or anyone to Decepticons is very insulting. It would be very similar to a human calling someone Hitler, or comparing them to a Nazi.

Author's Note: By popular demand, I'm expanding and continuing this story. Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging reviews – I really appreciate them.

And yes, that was a little tribute to Stargate, a show that I think could be pretty compatible with Transformers. Who knows, maybe I'll eventually expand on it and write a crossover sequel. For now, it's not really material to the plot, so it probably won't be mentioned again.