Say Anything Else

Mello came into our room and sat down. It was the day they put the test results on the board that showed who was number one. Usually Mello would storm in kicking and screaming that the sheep had beat him once again and how unfair it was.

That isn't the case today. This is the third week in a row where Mello would come in upset and sit down before muttering that he had to study harder and slip off to the library. I had gone by the board already today and say that Mello was still in second place.

It was tearing me apart. Each day Mello torn himself from life a little bit more. He was stepping in line with L and Near. Each week he came into the room a little less upset and each week he hit the books harder than the last.

Mello was wearing himself down. Anyone could see that. He was cracking under the pressure and nothing I say can help him. As always I baby him. I can't be a bully to that beautiful blond boy. Seeing him erode to fall in line for the spot of succeeding L is starting to wear me down.

Late at night when Mello cries I try to slip into his bed like I always have, to calm him down. Lately he pushes me out of bed and mumbles something about L and Near not needing anybody. With a sigh I leave the room and shuffle to the closet where I first met Mello. I slid inside and crouch down in the darkness, falling against the wall in a ball and let the sobs wreck my frame.

Mello isn't himself anymore. He's not the one I fell in love with. I cry, I cry for my pains, I cry for losing Mello, I cry for Mello, all the tears he fights to keep hidden, the pain he hides. This isn't Mello. I can't deal with what he's become. It's this place, this disgusting place. It forces us to bend under the pressure until we break. They don't care about us, they want to make the perfect monster. They want the next L.

None of them care what happens to us. There was no mourning when A killed himself. There was no worry when B ran away. There wont be any problems when the next letter goes missing or is found dead, of either murder or suicide. They just get rid of the bodies and slip the mess under the rug.

I don't want Mello to end up like that. He is either going to snap like A and kill himself or like B and become a murderer. All because of L. They are creating monsters in this house. If we aren't good enough to become the next L then we are swept aside. Those who can't take being pushed aside fight to regain their position though it rarely ever works.

Mello is going to become another statistic of this horrible house. I can't let that happen, but I have no way to help him. If I try to confront him he pushes me aside. He doesn't have time for me anymore. All he does is study in hopes of becoming better so he can beat Near.

I can't take it anymore. I won't live like this. I won't leave with out a fight either. I will leave and I will bring Mello with me. I refuse to let him crack and break. Not him, not my Mello. He is the only beauty left in this world and I refuse to let them pull the light out of him anymore.

I regain myself and wipe my eyes, my goggles left in the room. This is how Mello found me all those years ago. The golden boy who I thought was an angel. No, not the religious angels that carries you to god. The angels that walk the earth and save those who can't go on anymore. Mello is my angel.

I stood and shuffle out of the closet. It is nearly dawn and Mello is sleeping when I enter the room so I just lay down and hope that I can convince Mello to leave this all behind and elope with me. I have no clue what to say where to start but that can wait until morning, can't it. We don't have to go right away.

SayAnythingElseSayAnythignElseSayAnythingElseSayAnythingElseSayAnythingElseCARTEL

I woke up to the sound of books hitting Mello's desk. He had slammed down a pile of 10 or so large books. He huffed from exertion. He sat down to study. I examined him while he worked. He really was growing into himself quite well. He was a true beauty, like always.

His golden locks glowed in the light of the lamp. He looked like true royalty. With a huff I sat up and noticed how avidly he was working. Just seeing him study was stressing ME out!

I slid off the bed in nothing but my sweat pants and walked over to him, pressing my head over his work and pushing the papers off the desk, "Baby, don't follow their lead. We don't know how the story ends or how the story goes so lets make it ours."

Mello glared at me like he used to before all of this started. I grinned at this minor change back to his normal self. "I need that to beat Near you asshole!"

"Please, say anything else. Not that. Enough about that." I squeezed my eyes shut. If I heard Near or L again I might go homicidal.

"Matt, you know that I need to succeed L!" The golden boy turned to face me, seething.

"Don't follow their lead. It's time for you to understand. Who you are is not up to them, stop getting up for the let down. You can change yourself so you are like them and you can succeed L but you won't be happy." That cost me a slap across the face. Fine, if that is what it takes to get my Mello back then that's how I'll play the game.

"You used to be about something. You wanted to help people, to be yourself. But now you just want to be a machine and you're breaking yourself for nothing. You promised me that you would never leave me but that's exactly what you're doing. I'm going. Tonight. I'm leaving this place forever and never coming back." If this is what it takes then I'll do it.

Tears welled in Mello's azure pools. "You're leaving me? But, you're all I have left. I was going to beat Near then we would succeed L together." Tears streamed down Mello's face in betrayal.

"Shut up, that was your dream, not mine. You're saying anything to get you by. Well, that's not going to get you by. I refuse to stay here and watch you break yourself apart and you made it obvious that I'm not the one that you want. I've asked you time and time again to stop, but you push me away. If I try to hug you you slap my hand. I can't deal with being second to Near. Maybe all the hatred you say you have for him is just sexual tension. Well once I'm gone you can fuck him all you want." I don't mean this and you know it Mello. Please, just see that. See through it. See what I'm really trying to say. Please, for me. If you really love me-

His fist collided with my face and I fell back onto the floor. "You think I want this!" Mello was screaming at the top of his lungs. "You think I want to tear myself apart? Well news flash Mail! I don't! I just want to get better! I need to beat him! Once I do that everything will be fine again! Then we can go back to normal. I know I have been ignoring you a lot lately and I'm sorry but some things are more important then-"

"Then me? Then us? Well at least it's out in the open isn't it Mihael." I spat out his real name. He crossed a boundary there. This was no longer just about trying to save Mello. This was revenge for everything he put me through. "Well here is a tip for you Mello, I knew that already but it stings a lot more when you come right out and say it. Thank you, now I have all the more incentive to leave. You just packed my bags for me. Fuck, why wait until tonight? I'll go right now. It's not like they will even care when yet another letter leaves this condemned place."

I picked up a bag and started to throw clothes into it. This was no longer a salvage mission. I was done being pushed around. He had struck too many cords. If I don't matter then I am not sticking around! "I was going to ask you, to plead for you to go with me but apparently you rather destroy yourself, then I can pick up the pieces. Isn't that what you're saying? That's not the life I want. I want to be loved; I want to be more then just a pet to someone. I am not just a dog that you can kick around. Not anymore. Don't even think of calling me when you do finally break and need someone to fix you."

"You don't mean that." Mello's blue orbs followed my every move. I saw his chest start to heave but I ignored it. I had come into this with every motive to save him and leave with him but he made it clear to me that he didn't want me. Now my only motive was to go. To move as far as possible away from this damn place. "Stop it!"

Mello caught my hand as I went to stuff my games into the bag. I looked up at him in shock. Tears trailed down his face and it stabbed into my heart. I still loved him, no matter what awful things I said. I would always love him. He is my everything.

"Mail, Stop!" He grabbed the bag and dumped everything on the floor. "You aren't going, I won't allow it! You are going to stay here; you are going to stay here with me. You have always been there for me and It's time that I make it up to you. How do you expect me to do that if you aren't here?"

"Come with me," I looked into his blue eyes, my green eyes dripped with tears. I grabbed him and pulled him a little closer to me. "Please, leave with me. Leave all of this behind. You are breaking yourself,"

Mello leaned into my chest, clutching my shirt and sobbing. "Matt, you know I can't do that. If I do that then they will think I'm weak and Near will always gloat how he beat me because I was weak. My, my pride can't handle that. Please, just stay here with me, at least until we find out whom succeeds L. After that we will leave. Even if I do ever beat Near and got picked I will give it up to be with you. I promise."

"Mello," I am so confused. "What al I suppose to say? I am so confused; you have always been smarter." I wrapped my arms around the blonde and rested my chin on his head. Salty tears still ran down his cheeks and landed on my shirt.

"Stay with me. Accept the compromise. I won't give myself up to be like them, but succeed in my own way and once L chooses who will succeed him we leave. No goodbye or anything, We'll just elope in the night." He peaked up at me with pleading eyes.

"You saw through me." He knew it was a set up in the beginning, he played along to see how I would react. To see the truth about me. Do the results show that I'm a horrible person?

"Not at first. Mail Jeevas, how dare you hurt me like that. You got me so worked up for nothing. Then you really were going to leave me!" Outrage flared across his face.

I replied sheepishly, "You said you didn't care and hit me."

Mello scowled and pressed his lips to mine. "You're lucky you are so good looking Matt, or else I would have kicked you out the door with out any of your shit."

I followed his kiss with another. "You would do no such thing; you love me way too much for that. You would have followed me out."

"Like Hell!"

"Face it, you would!"

"I would not! I don't care how much you love me, you don't leave me!"

"But you knew I didn't want to leave!"

"So? You have still left me!"

"This is pointless, I hope you know that. I would never leave you. I would have dragged you out of the door by you hair if need be." I smirked at Mello's scowl. My Mello was back. The emotional, off the handle blonde that would kick you ass just for giving him an odd glance.

"Yeah well, you better pick my papers back up dog." Mello let o of me pushed me over to his papers. I placed them on his desk and glared at him. The asshole patted my head saying "Good puppy. I think my bad ass uke needs a treat." He grabbed my collar and pulled me to him.

Mello leaned in and ran his teeth over the junction of my neck and shoulder. I shuddered as his tongue flicked out and wet the grazed spot. Mello twirled us around and pushed me down on his bed. I sat up on my elbows and watched with growing arousal as he slid of his leather vest. No matter how much he changed him self he couldn't give up the leather.

Mello curled his finger at me, motioning for me to come closer. I sat up and did as commanded as Mello growled out orders. "Pants, untie them, now!" I quickly unlaced his pants. It is a skill I had picked up over the course of the relationship.

Mello slid the leather pants down his legs and stepped out of them. He is already hard. Neither of us had been touched in a while and so we are both easily aroused. "Off with the clothes." I didn't comply. I wanted to see what Mello would do, I told him I wasn't a dog he could kick around anymore and I mean it!

Mello growled and commanded me to strip once again but I just stared at his defiantly. "Oh? My uke doesn't want to listen? The I shall teach him a lesson." Mello forced me onto my back and crawled over me. As he tore my pants off he trailed kisses up my chest. When he reached my nipples he clamped down on one and sucked while rolling the other one in between his fingers.

I arched up into him, mewing from his touches. Mello bit down hard on my hardened nub and removed his mouth, a line of spit connecting to his lip to my chest. The line broke and Mello moved further down. As he reached my unclothed member he blew on it. Warm air splashed against me and had me bucking up into Mello for release.

Both of us had learned not to wear underwear a while ago. It just got in a way and took longer to undress. We laid together completely naked, Mello on top. He had come back up to face me. "Are you going to follow my orders now?" I shook my head and he reached down between us, grabbing onto my fully erect member. It has been too long since we had been together. I cried out and bucked up into his hand.

I panted out underneath Mello as he worked me up and down. "P-Please Mel-Mello! I will listen, just f-FUCK ME!" Mello smiled wickedly and let go of me. I huffed and tried to regain my breath while he reached over to the side of the bed and patted the floor looking for out bottle of lube.

He reappeared over me with a small bottle of KY touch warm sensation. Flipping open the can with a pop Mello spread the goo over his fingers and handed me the bottle. I grabbed it in wonder then gasped as he lifted my lips up and jabbed two fingers into my entrance. It had been forever since we had fucked so it hurt, a lot. As Mello scissored my insides with his fingers I clamped my eyes shut and bit my lip. Mello bent down over me and kissed along my jaw. It was his way of apologizing for the pain. He should have thought about that before shoving two fingers into me unexpectedly.

I relaxed as best as I could and waited while Mello added a third finger. When h removed all of his fingers I peeked out and he looked at me expectantly. I stared at him confused. "Well, Matty, I don't think you want me entering you with out lube. It will hurt you a lot more then it will me." His voice was a mixture of lust and mocking.

Well, that explains why he handed me the lube. He wanted me to work him real quick then let him fuck him. How typical. My don't fuck with me seme is a perv. I poured lube across Mello's erection and rubbed it with my fingers, spreading the goo. Mello moaned as I grasped his completely and yanked him up and down, not hard enough to hurt him but enough where he fell against me and moaned until his throat was burning. I let go of Mello and moved so it would be easier for him to position himself.

Mello grabbed my hips and lifted them; I wrapped my pale legs around his golden body. Mello pushed into me with a grunt while I ground my teeth, trying to make the pain go away. Had it really been that long? Relax. Relax. Relax.

Mello pushed all the way in and slumped over me, the ends of this golden hair tickling my cheeks and neck. Mello pulled out and slammed back in. With a few trusts he had worked up an off beat rhythm and I was panting under his as he slammed into those nerves over and over again. I wrapped my arms around my golden angel, my fingers winding in his hair.

"M-Matt!" Mello called out with his thrusts. I was no better off as I screamed his name for all of Wammy's to hear. We were out of practice so Mello didn't even have to work me before I was ready to blow, him along with me. With a hard thrust Mello let loose his searing hot seed inside of me. He rode out his orgasm while getting hit in the chest with my own load.

I lay panting as Mello pulled out and flopped down beside me.

"That was going to be my bargaining tool to keep you here if need be," Mello panted out beside me. I lightly punched him in the gut and snuggled into his side as his arm wrapped around me.

RAWRZ!
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