AN: Here's the next chapter. Thanks for all the reviews. Hope things are interesting in this chapter and that you enjoy it. ~safarigirl
Night Rain
Chapter 7
Her hands were covered in blood. The rich color filled her vision until there was nothing but the blood. She couldn't tear her eyes away even as a scream ripped from her throat. She tried frantically to wipe the blood away on the dirt she was kneeling in, but it only spread to the ground, seeping outward and engulfing everything.
"Very good, Amaya. I had my doubts, but it seems you did it," a woman called. Amaya scrambled to her feet and spun around. A figure, faceless and shrouded in shadow, stood behind her. Behind the figure, concealed by the shadows, were four shapes lying on the ground. Amaya's heart dropped into her stomach as she took a step forward.
"Did what?" she asked, not sure if she really wanted the answer. Her entire body shook.
"You killed the Sanzo Party," the shrouded woman replied. With a cackle of laugher, she stepped back, revealing the lumps in the dirt.
Amaya dropped to her hands and knees as bile rose in her throat. Gojyo. Hakkai. Goku. Each lay in a pool of blood. She couldn't stop the trembling that overtook her as her eyes hesitantly shifted to the last body. Sanzo. Blood spilled from the chest wound. Vacant purple eyes glared at her accusingly.
Amaya tried to scramble backwards, tried to get away from those dead eyes, but her body was rooted in place. She couldn't tear her blue eyes, filling with tears, away from Sanzo's. The woman laughed.
"They all need to die."
"No," Amaya yelled. "I didn't do this."
"Really? Are you so sure about that? Look down."
The spell that was keeping the girl in place broke and Amaya looked down. Her sai were clutched in her fists, each blade dripping with the life force of the four men.
"No!" she screamed again as she threw her weapons to the ground.
"Now bring me the Maten Sutra," the voice commanded. Amaya felt her body respond against her will. She struggled, fighting as she rose and took awkward steps toward Sanzo. His dead eyes seemed to follow her every move as she walked closer and bent down to remove the stained parchment from his cold shoulders.
"That's right, Amaya. Bring me the sacred scriptures carried by Genjo Sanzo. Good Amaya. Bring it to me, Amaya."
"Amaya."
She shot upright, her head swimming with images of blood and death and a wicked voice that sounded familiar. Oh Gods, they were all dead. She killed them. It was all her fault. They were dead because of her. She cradled her head in her blood-soaked hands, willing the images to go away.
"Amaya," the voice repeated. A hand settled on her shoulder. Amaya jerked her head up and found purple eyes veiled with concern looking back at her. "We're not dead. It was just a nightmare." She looked at him dumbfounded before the words registered into her sleep and horror fogged brain. She hadn't realized she spoken her thoughts aloud.
Unable to hold back, Amaya launched herself at the man sitting next to her, wrapping her arms around his neck in a fierce hug. It took a second for strong arms to wrap around her back as Sanzo awkwardly returned the hug. Amaya felt new tears in her eyes as she held his warm body against hers, willing away images of the cold stiff that still plagued her mind.
"It felt so real. I though you were all dead. She said I killed you, that I had to bring her the scripture. I didn't want to. I didn't want to kill you, but there was so much blood and I couldn't stop myself and-" the girl babbled as she cried into the black silk of his shirt.
Sanzo awkwardly patted her back. "Well, we're not dead. Stop crying. It was just a – she? Who is she, Amaya? The one who told you to kill us?" he asked, disentangling her from him and holding her out at arms length. He stared down at her, and she felt as if he suddenly towered over her even though he was only half a head taller than her.
Wanting anything else to look at, her eyes darted around the area, taking it in for the first time since she awoke. It was dark out, the stars offering little illumination against the black of night, but enough for her to clearly see the forms of Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai sprawled on the ground around the remains of a burnt out campfire. Images of her nightmare bounced in Amaya's head, but she forcefully pushed them back. They were asleep, not dead.
"Amaya, answer the question," Sanzo's voice darted in, interrupting the girl's thoughts. She jerked her head around, finding his hard eyes once more.
"I…I don't know," she replied truthfully. There was suddenly something incredibly interesting on the ground next to her knee where she knelt, and her gaze stayed locked on that spot.
"Amaya, why did you want to come with us so badly?" His question sounded accusing and harsh. She risked a glance up and found his expression matched his voice. A frown marred his features and his eyes were hard twin amethysts staring back at her. Amaya dropped her crystalline gaze back to her knee
"I don't know. I just didn't want you to leave me," she replied, her voice small.
"What are you hiding from us?" he whispered. Amaya wondered if he meant to say it out loud at all. When she didn't immediately respond, he sighed and stood, his hands sliding from her shoulders as he did. On impulse, Amaya reached out and grabbed his wrist, stilling him. He glanced over his shoulder at her, his gaze impatient.
"I'm starting to remember things. Just bits really, a flash here and there, a smell that triggers something. And mostly, in my dreams," she finally blurted out as she dropped his wrist. "And I'm not really sure I want to remember. This isn't the first nightmare I've had. And it's not the worst, either. Sanzo," she paused, not sure how to go on. It must have showed on her face.
"Just spit it out already."
"I think I did terrible things before, hurting people for reasons I don't remember. What if I'll do more terrible things?" Her dream flashed before her eyes. She shifted so she was sitting, her back leaning against a log. Amaya sighed as she drew denim-clad knees to her chest and wrapped thin arms around her legs. Caramel hair cascaded over dark blue fabric as she rested her forehead against her knee. She took a few deep breaths, steadying her nerves before she continued.
"I feel like I was sent here for a purpose, like I'm someone's puppet in a play I don't want to act in. I don't want to hurt anyone." Her voice was barely more than a whisper. Silence followed, punctuated only by Goku's soft snores and the chirps of crickets. The smell of Marlboros drifted toward her and Amaya glanced up. Sanzo was still in front of her, a cigarette pressed between his thin lips. Elegant fingers drew it from his mouth as he blew the spent smoke out. His eyes were turned away, toward the dark night that surrounded the group.
He didn't speak when he finally looked back at Amaya, his cigarette halfway smoked. He wordlessly fished out his pack and tossed it to the girl still sitting at his feet. His lighter followed. Amaya caught both and lit up, inhaling deeply. Her gaze shifted to the night, following Sanzo's earlier line of sight. It was calming, staring into the nothingness. She allowed her mind to relax, to clear of the chaos that filled it. For a moment, she could forget about everything.
"That's bullshit, you know," Sanzo finally remarked, startling Amaya from her reverie. The girl shifted ice blue eyes back to the monk. He wasn't looking at her. He was looking at his friends.
"You have a choice," he elaborated. He turned his head and looked her in the eyes. "If you don't want to play, don't. If you don't want to hurt anybody, don't. It's that simple."
"That simple, huh?"
He didn't respond. His cigarette finished, he turned from her, returning to his bedroll and laying down to sleep. Amaya watched him for a moment, smoking her cigarette to the end. When it was finished, she lay back down, her hands folded under her head, and stared at the stars above.
She never considered that she had a choice. She thought back to the hazy images of her past, most of them filled with blood and death and pain. She thought back to her dreams, also filled with blood and death and pain. Maybe that's just what her life was: nothing but blood and death and pain. But Sanzo said she had a choice. Maybe losing her memory wasn't so bad after all. Maybe she could walk away from the blood and death and pain and start a new trek into the sun.