Chapter 2: Waking up

It was always hard to wake up after a full moon, the body was in pain and even breathing was almost too much. But it was over for this time and he was grateful that he had survived.
He moved a bit, feeling the soft sheets of the bed that he knew was in the hospital wing. His arms felt okay, one or two broken ribs, legs felt like they had wounds, but nothing was broken there. He wondered what had happened last night, Moony usually didn't attack himself when he had company.

'Company?' he heard a confused voice in his head, a faint and older voice he nearly recognised as his own.
'Eh, yes' it felt a bit strange to talk to a voice in your own head. 'Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail, remember them?'
The voice didn't say anything more which he was very happy about. Remus knew he was a strange person but talking to himself that was just to much.

"Darling!"
Remus smiled at the voice and opened his eyes to meet Sirius grey ones.
"What have you done to me?" He growled and tried to sit up.
Sirius looked as perfect as he always did with his gorgeous black, wavy hair falling down to his shoulders. He had apparently not been in any trouble. Sirius eyes shifted nervously before he leaned closer and whispered.
"Moony was a bit angry last night, we had to run all over the forest to keep him occupied"
"James and Peter?" Remus asked, now afraid for his friends safety. Wormtail was such a small creature, Moony could have eaten him without even noticing.
"They're fine" Sirius was smiling again and decided to crawl up next to Remus in his bed. "You know what we should do, Remus?"
"Yes I know what you think we should do" Remus said with a laugh that hurt his lungs. "But you're not gay remember"
"Darnit, I always forget that" Sirius rolled his eyes.
Madam Pomfrey heard that Remus was awaken so she came over. She pushed Sirius out of the bed with a stern look and started to mend Remus broken ribs. She didn't want to do this when he was asleep because it was also important for the boy to get his rest. Every month he was in her hospital wing tired and wounded, but lately his wounds hadn't been as bad and she wondered why. She had a feeling that it had something to do with the boys friends, those who caused more children to come to her wing than anyone else had done before. Remus was such a good boy, why did he have to be friends with those, those hooligans.

At dinner Remus was able to join his friends in the Great Hall. He sat down next to James where he could have a free sight over to the Slytherin table. James was going on about his undying love for Lily Evans but Remus didn't really listen. He seldom had to listen when James was talking about Lily, just nod once in a while and if more talk had to be involved he could trust that Peter would say the right words. Peter never got lost in his own fantasies, he was always there, body and mind.

'Don't do that' the same voice from before said, startling Remus out of his staring at the table waiting for the boy of his fantasies.
'Do what?' he asked, once again starting to feel insane.
'Don't take Peter for granted, he has more worth than that'
'I know that, of course I know it because you are me thinking this. Merlin this is confusing'
Maybe he really was insane, maybe you became insane after being a werewolf for too long, just look at Greyback, he sure was a raving lunatic.

Remus refocused his eyes to his own table instead of the Slytherin one and looked at Peter. He was busy shovelling in food into his mouth at the same time as he was watching James with intense eyes. Not wanting to miss anything he said. Beside him Sirius was sitting, looking at his own reflection in a spoon. Merlin, that boy was ridiculously vain. Remus shifted his eyes back to Peter and asked, while interrupted James tale of that Lily hadn't hexed him the day before.
"How does your O.W.L studies go Pete?"
Peter looked surprised at Remus. He wasn't that good in school and he had problems with most of the classes.
"Not that great" he admitted, looking a bit sheepish.
"If you want we could study together"
Peter looked exited at that, Remus had helped him several times before but then he had always called it tutoring. Studying together was what James, Sirius and Remus did. Peter had never been included in that. He agreed to and Remus gave him that little sweet smile that he so often used against his friends and for once Peter actually felt like they where his friends and he wasn't just tagging along. Then Remus lost his focus and started to stare at the Great Hall entrance and James continued with his story like he never had been interrupted. Peter nodded towards James but lost a bit of his usual concentration. He was of course interested in James tales, even though he repeated himself several times, but instead he started to think about the O.W.L exam. He had been terrified about it before, but maybe things would work out, maybe he wouldn't fail so badly if he got help.

'He is so beautiful, why doesn't anyone see this' Remus thought when he saw the black haired boy stalk into the Great hall and towards his table. His hair fell down as a curtain around his face, almost fully hiding it, but Remus could see the dark eyes that always made his inside turn. The nose was sticking out too of course, nothing could hide that and even though Remus knew that most people thought that large hooked nose was disgusting Remus thought it was perfect. Everything was perfect with Severus Snape. His thin, cruel lips, his sharp facial structure, his glossy hair, his thin frame. The way he walked, the way he always sneered at him, even the way he hexed Remus' friends.
'I really am insane, aren't I?'
Remus sighed and watched as Severus sat down besides his friends Avery and Mulciber. Those three and Rosier was like the Slytherin version of the Marauders, though their pranks wasn't as innocent as the Gryffindors.
'How can I have fallen in love with someone like that?' Remus couldn't understand it, but he knew he couldn't stop it. It was way to late for that.

"Slytherin again?" Remus startled out if his thoughts and stared at Sirius that had turned around to see what Remus was watching. "It's not my little brother is it?"
"No" Remus rolled his eyes.
"Because if it was it would be better if you shagged me instead, we look mostly the same and I'm the good one"
"I don't usually shag heterosexual guys" Remus said, not that he had actually shagged anyone which they all knew.
"Regulus isn't gay" Sirius said and pouted.
"Merlin, I'm not interested in your little brother"

'Maybe you should tell them' The voice was back again
'Never going to happen' Remus growled and got a strange look from Sirius. The always friendly Remus didn't start to growl for no apparent reason.
Remus shook his head and excused himself, but when he started to get up he saw that Severus was watching him and those eyes burned a whole into his scull. He felt faint but he collected himself and left.