The Pirate Outcasts: Chapter 5
Now, I don't know if you've ever been on a pirate ship (and I doubt you have, but I don't know, maybe you've already experienced our little adventure already) but a big ship like this is boring!
Sure, we helped Jack and Will with shipply-ship stuff, but what did we do in our downtime? We sat and sat, maybe run and jump around when we would get a burst of hyperactivity, you know how that is.
We'd explored the ship more times than we could count and we had discovered the kitchen, the little prison-thing (Will explained that was the brig) and a family of rats living in the storage room. Naturally we named them all, Goob, Gomer, and the little ratlets, Kurt and Karl (twins).
Otherwise there wasn't really anything else to do. I wish I had my book bag; it had some schoolbooks, my iPod, and a leftover tuna sandwich, which was probably rotting away where ever my bag was.
Speaking of tuna, I really wish I had some or any other kind of delicious food.
There isn't really much on the ship, just some crusty, stale bread and rum, Jack really liked the rum (and I mean really liked) but we were okay with the bread.
Sometimes we would fantasize about our favorite food. 'Peanut butter and carrots with cranberry juice' Amber would say 'teriyaki chicken bowl from Costco, aw yeah' I would reply. Man, we're such losers.
Jack and will said that the trip wouldn't take long.
"Only a few days." A drunken Jack said as he swayed to the other side of the ship.
Well, a few days seemed like months! Years! Decades! But that decade was coming to a close.
In the morning as Amber and I were mermaid watching with our legs dangling over the edge ( we found none by the way, day ruined) we heard Jack in the box yell 'Land ho!' and we quickly jumped up to look.
There on the edge of the earth, we could see a little sliver of land.
"Crap!" Amber cried "It's gonna take forever until we get there"
"Wrong" Jack replied as he staggered toward us, his breath smelling heavily of rum "Not forever, just until tonight, late tonight. When you little ladies will be fast asleep, Will and I have some business to take care of."
Uh, que? Were they seriously gonna leave us here while they had all of the fun?
Yeah right!!!
I shot a quick glance over to Amber who shot a quick glace and a smile and said in a sickly innocent voice "well, alright, if that's what you truly think is best.
"After all," I added "You're the captain. Aw, yeah, we were laying it on thick.
He smiled and straightened his jacket.
"Well, ladies, I'm glad that you see it my way" and with that he turned on his heel and walked away.
I looked over at amber and mouthed the question 'sneak out?' and she nodded a yes.
Meh, unfortunately from the distance, we heard Jack yell "By the way, I'm locking your door, just in case you get any idea."
Damn it all, he knew all our tricks. Amber mumbled some profanities under her breath and kicked a nearby bucket. I could hear Hack chuckle as he walked toward the wheel.
We would have to come up with a plan B, there is no way that we would be locked in while there was a whole city to explore!
Amber and I decided to go our separate ways if we were ever going to come up with something positively brilliant.
Amber decided to go below into the room to check things out; maybe we would pick a lock with a kitchen knife or something.
I decided to stay above, the cool air might help me think, and it felt good on my skin.
After a few minutes of thinking, I came up with…absolutely nothing. Were plan b's always this hard to come up with? Not at home they weren't!
Home, I kinda missed it. Well, not all of it, some things I was glad to be rid of; the ridicule, the hope for something better outta life. But I liked it here, I can kinda start new. No one knows me here!
Wait, I shouldn't be thinking about all this, I should be thinking of our marvelous plan B.
Hm, picking the lock could work, but we would need something sharp and I don't know how sharp the knives are. Escaping out the window, possibly, I'd have to tell Amber that one later.
Maybe Will could sneak us…oh my god that could totally work!
On a side note, I've been told when I am deep in thought; I mumble what I'm thinking to myself. So what someone around me at this time would be hearing 'mhmmmhrm will could get us a key mhmmmmrhm pick the lock mmmhrm' yeah, not very attractive.
Now unfortunately for me, a certain pirate was listening intensively and a scared me from behind.
"You and your little friendy won't be leaving your room tonight! And I won't let Will get the key."
"GAH!" I yelled absolutely terrified, I ended up tripping and landed on my rump. And that jerk of a captain was just laughing is ass off at the sight.
"Creeper! You're such a creeper!" I accused and he just laughed some more.
"And I mean it, too. Tortuga is not for girls like yourselves. The men there are dangerous knaves, and they only want you for one thing.
"Okay yeah, ew, I get the picture…but what if we stay with you the whole time?"
"No"
"We won't be out of your sight"
"No"
"Aw come on!!!! We just wanna get off this dang ship and see something else besides blue water!"
"Sorry, missy" he replied "But there is no way you girls are coming!"
"But…"
"No buts. I am the captain, and what I say goes… so there."
Man, he's almost like a dad, a drunken, smelly dad.
At the corner of my eye I could see the wheel start to turn slowly. Aha, an opportunity to get back at him in a way.
I tilted my head to the side like a teapot and said sweetly "Hey, oh powerful captain…the wheels' moving."
I smiled and giggled when I saw him turn around and swear like a sailor and he erratically flew up the stairs to grab the wheel.
I started to skip back down to Amber; I've been on this ship for too long, we were so sneaking out tonight.
As the day went on, Amber and I constructed our evil genius plot and singing show tunes as we did so.
The window was open a bit for the sea breeze I loved so and to get rid of that musty man smell, yuck.
The sun was setting lower and lower into the evening sky. We could see the island and felt the ship dock.
Later into the evening we could hear the gun shots, laughter and we couldn't wait until we could get out.
"Ah, I smell adventure." Amber said with joy.
A few minutes later, we heard heavy steps and some keys jangling.
Jack opened the door and walked in, Will just popped his head in.
"Now ladies, you promise to stay in the room, no leaving, just like dear old Captain Jack told you to, right?"
Amber and I exchanged a glance, we were laughing inwardly.
"Got it chief, we'll stay in this room." I said and saluted.
"You have surely outsmarted us." Amber added. And Jack totally believed us! He just smiled, turned around and walked out of the door.
William, however, suspected something. Aw shit, busted.
"I know you two aren't going to listen to Jack, but please listen to me. Don't follow us. From what I've heard and seen of this horrid town, it's full of dangerous pirates. And even worse, drunk, sex crazed pirates. You two could really get hurt here."
Whoa, he really meant it, dang it, I feel the sense of guilt coming on!
Amber spoke up, "Will, just go and do your business with Mr. Crazy-drunk, we'll be just fine."
I could only smile.
"Thank you, just be safe." He said and he turned to leave.
Amber looked at me "Oh no, don't you dare start to get second thoughts. There is no possible way we are missing out on this. We'll have fun, cause mayhem, but YES! It will be fun. Muahahaha!"
Ah, my diabolical side was returning, evilness level slowly but surely rising… "Let's do this!" I cheered.
Let the plan commence.
Once we heard their feet fade off in the distance and saw them out the window, we put our plan into action.
Earlier that day, we had gathered some linen that we had found in a cupboard and tied them together…saving a few for ourselves of course (it gets cold sometimes).
To the end of our woman made rope, we attached a heavy hair brush.
Our plan was to throw the hair brush out the window, me sitting on the sill and Amber holding onto my knees so I don't fall over. The hair brush was supposed to go up and over the rail and loop through the other side and slowly lower it back to us, and then we would tie the brush end to the end of the rope.
Genius? I think so!
Climbing up was the hard part. We were in PE and we did have pull up bars, but we never used them.
So basically with our lack of upper body strength, we were screwed.
Grabbing the 'rope' and letting my feel dangle for a second was a bad idea, I forgot how heavy I was! Ah, crap.
Looking down, at my buddy not the water (scary heights), I saw Amber was struggling too.
"I hate climbing, I'm such a fatty!" She whispered in a loud voice. "Me too!" I responded.
Maybe we shouldn't eat so much Taco Bell… ah who are we kidding, Taco Bell is delicious!!!
Sorry, back to our fail climbing!
Once we got to the top, we could not feel our arms at all.
It's like… when you fall asleep on your arm and then you wake and you cannot move it at all .
Well, our arms felt a little better than that, but you get the point.
Making sure we had our, boots, hats, swords, and our good looks, we made our descend into the town
The first thing I noticed was the smell. This place smelled terrible!
It was like alcohol, mud, men and who knows what.
I looked at Amber and saw her covering her nose. "This place needs some serious Lysol."Luckily as we walked on, we got used to the reek.
The next thing I noticed was the noise. Sure it was loud, but it was what we were hearing that concerned us. We stayed close together as we walked. I heard yelling, which led to broken glass, which probably meant a fight with the added essence of gunshot which just was the icing on the cake. I heard laughter, which seemed to be a mix of alcohol and good times.
As we turned a corner, we saw a man and what I hoped was a woman, making out sloppily. I could feel a sarcastic remark coming on.
"And on your right, you can see the first hooker of the night!" I said in my most tour guidey voice.
"Ooh, I've always wanted to see a whore!" Amber squealed.
The 'couple' could hear us because they were too busy playing tonsil hockey. So we continued on.
"Hey, let's go in there!" Amber said and pointed in front of her. It looked like a bar, but I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be checking ID, so maybe it could be fun.
We started to walk in; I only caught a little bit of the name, something about a bride or something.
The smell only got a bit stronger, just with the added essence of man. There was drunken laughter, some kind of music, and really loud people. It was dimly lit and it took us a minute or two for our eyes to adjust.
The alcohol smell was very overpowering, I bet we could get drunk just by breathing! I looked around a bit more and….oh crap, it was Jack!
"Amber, Thunder Cats are a not go, Captain Drunky is over there!" I said as we quickly ducked to the floor.
"Great, I just had to pick the bar with the crazy guy, didn't I?" Amber said
"Yeah, you're kind of a fail."
"Shut up!"
From a distance, we could see that Jack was talking to some gray scraggly man, but we couldn't hear what they were saying. I saw Amber pointing to the left of the talking two where we saw Will staning uncomfortably as a woman (a rather larger than life woman if you know what I mean) was trying to get jiggy with William. We looked at each other and started to giggle.
It seemed safe to get up. We started walking on until I felt a tug on my shirt that made me stop. I turned around to see a man grabbing me. He didn't look old, like in his late 20's or so, and he smelled like a hobo… not that I spend my free time smelling hobos'. Oh you know what I mean.
"Hey, *hic* little lady, 'Ows 'bout I buys yous a drink." He slurred.
I tried to look for Amber, but she went off without me.
"Um, no thanks" I said trying to be polite "but I'm not old enough to drink." I tried to pull away, but for a drunken guy he was strong.
"*hic* not old enough? What *hic* nonsense is that??" he slurred again, pulling me toward him.
"Let go of my shirt, sir." I said firmly.
He 'thought' for a second. "Um, *hic* no, I haven't seen a pretty girl in a long time" and with that, he pulled me in hard until I was on his lap.
"Hey! Let me go!" I said as I kicked and struggled.
"What do you think men? Should I give her a kiss?"
Oh, shit, this was scary, maybe we shouldn't have come.
"Yeah! Do it!" his freaks of men yelled.
"Get off me!" I yelled, and with a free hand, I slapped his face. I heard a nice smack sound and palm met cheek.
"Amber help me, there's a creeper here! A CREEPER!!!!"
I couldn't see her, but I could hear her swear and start running.
The man was clutching his face; hey I must have gotten him good!
"You little bitch!" With that, I heard him unsheathe something small like a knife and then I felt a burning pain near my shoulder.
"Ow, ow, fuckity ow!" I yelled and grabbed my shoulder. I could feel warm blood seeping through my shirt. I looked up and saw that he was raising the dagger again. I shut my eyes, scared of what would happen next.
But with my eyes shut, it seems like forever until he 'finished the job'. I opened my eyes to see Jack grabbing the man's arm midair.
"That's not very nice" He said and threw a punch in his face.
Will came running toward the scene and pulled me out of the way, Amber right behind him.
"Are you alright?" he asked. I shook my head and shakily moved my hand away from the slice.
"Oh no" Will said, and Amber gave me a small hug out of worry.
"Jack!" Will yelled.
"What?! I'm a little busy!" he yelled back as he was fighting off the jerks.
"Alex is hurt, I'm getting her and Amber out of here." Hey, I'm not that helpless!
"I'm okay! I could have totally taken him out!" I yelled and pointed but, ow, that was my bad arm.
"You keep telling yourself that."
Will jerked me by the shoulder, ow, and all three of us started running.
"I told you two not to come!" he said angrily.
"I know I'm sorry" and we ran onto the ship. Finally, I felt safe.
All three of us ran into an empty cabin and will sat me onto a chair.
"Amber, go into the storage room and get me some rum, the cleanest cloth you can find, and bandages if you can find them."
"Got it chief!" and she ran out the door. Will proceeded to turn to me with a look of death in his eyes.
"Didn't I tell you not to come?" he asked.
"Um…curiosity killed the cat?" I said trying to sound as innocent as I could.
"Yes and you're going to be a dead cat soon if you're not careful."
"Hey I'm supposed to be the funny one." I said, but he was not amused.
Before our conversation could go on, Amber came in.
"I've got the goods!" She announced. "Perfect" He uncorked the run and poured some on the semi clean cloth.
"Now move your shirt a bit so I can see the wound." Will said.
"Why William I hardly know you!" I said with an evil smile.
"Well, I guess it's good that the pain didn't affect your sense of humor." Haha, I win.
I moved my shirt over a bit so he could see my owie.
"Well, Doc, give it to me straight." I said in my most dramatic voice "Am I gonna live?"
He laughed for the first time in a while "Yes, you're going to live, I doesn't look like you've lost much blood. Does it hurt?"
"It feels like the stingers of a thousand bees just aimed and faired at this one particular spot." I said with a serious face.
"I'll take that as a yes."
I know that sounded funny, but I was serious, it hurt like hell but it was getting better. That was, until Will laid the rum soak cloth on my owie. "OW!" I yelled, holy crap, that hurt "what's that supposed to do?"
"It's supposed to clean it! Just stay still and bare through it"
I shut my eyes and grinded my teeth at he started to patch me up again. And all I could think of was 'ow ow ow …'
Once he was done with the painful part, and started to literally patch me up.
"There, that should do it." He said when he was finished.
It felt a little better, it still burned a little, but it was better.
"Thank you, Doctor Turner" I said sarcastically, but gratefully.
"You're welcome" Just then, Jack walked into the room. He didn't look too beat up, it looks like he won!
"Oh, there you are, are you okay?" he asked raising an eyebrow.
"Just peachy?" I replied with a thumbs up.
"Enough about peaches, we got a crew!" he said happily.
"Yay…" I guess.
"Great, when are they coming?" Will asked.
"Tomorrow, so let's get up bright and early so we can meet them. Oh and you're welcome, missy, for taking care of your 'business' back there."
"Oh, thank you! You kinda owned their lives." Seriously, if it weren't for these guys, much worse things could have happened.
"Yes, I 'owned their lives'" he said with a quizzical look and walked away.
I stood up "Thank you Will, really, if you weren't able to help me, I could be bleeding in an alley somewhere! Goodnight."
"you're welcome again, goodnight"
I walked back to Amber and my room so we could sleep. Getting felt up and almost killed by a pirate can really exhaust a person.
And tomorrow, we meet the new crew. Ole!
We are sooooo sorry! With choir and school, we couldn't find time to update. And when summer finally came, we were just lazy, or I was at least. I really hope you all like this chapter, I worked hard on it!