She pulled me into the bathroom and shut the door behind us. She then gently took my clothes off. It wasn't in a sexual manner at all, it was more mother-like. When she took off my pants I could tell when she sees the cum on my thighs, and the bruises, Shes so easy to read, her eyes narrow and she quickly looks away. She then strips herself and pulls me into the shower with her, quickly turning on the hot water, and lathering up a washrag. When she turns to me her face is kind, but she can't hide the pain in her eyes. While she washes me I close my eyes, I'm not sure what else to do, and I don't want to watch her. But I can't help feeling her. As her hands move around my body, I feel every wound, and the memory that goes with each one. When she reaches my lower half she stops, and I open my eyes to look at her. Shes just gently tracing the marks on my thighs with her fingertips. I reach down and cup her check in my hand trying to put the best smile I can on my face, and I take the rag from her. I then turn and start scrubbing myself, not caring about how much it hurts, just wanting the feel of them off my skin forever. While I'm washing myself Holl decides to shampoo my hair. And as her fingertips massage my scalp my scrubbing becomes less intense and I feel myself slip into unconsciousness.
When I open my eyes I find myself in that room, tied to that bed, and a scream bubbles up from deep in my chest when I see him. The driver just standing there, shooting picture after picture. Then I feel it, Jimmy pounding away inside of me. I scream again, and Mike appears next to me, playing with his pocket knife. I try to get away, to push him off, but I can't move, I'm frozen in place and all I can feel is him inside me. Then they're laughter starts, and I wake up screaming.
"Cece! Cece calm down! Your ok... your ok, I'm here." Holl reaches for me and I flinch away from her, "Don't touch me!" I scream and curl into a ball on the bed. "Don't hurt me... please!" Then the tears take over again, and I feel her next to me, holding me. This time I don't flinch away and I wrap my arms around her, and she squeezes me to her chest, trying helplessly to quiet my sobs. "They wont leave me alone... every time I close my eyes I see them." I feel her nod and she begins to rock me. "Its like they're still inside me..." She nods again, harder this time, stiffly. "Do you want to talk about it? Your dream I mean?" Oh Holland, you always know whats going on. I shake my head, "It doesn't matter." Her eyes tighten but she lets it go.
Then the smell of eggs and coffee hit me, I look up at the direction of the kitchen and I hear her sigh, so I turn my gaze back to her. "I didn't know if you'd be hungry or not, but I knew you'd at least want a cup of coffee." She smiles timidly and I smile back, although I'm not sure how convincing it was. Then we both get up and go to the kitchen where she has two plates set up with scrambled eggs, toast, and of course a tall cup of coffee for me. We both sit down and awkwardly begin to eat, me taking a long swig of coffee first and her a bite of eggs. But as I take a bite of my own eggs I remember the taste of him in my mouth and I gag and run to the bathroom toilet just in time to throw up. Right away Holland is at my side holding my hair out of my face as I empty the contents of my stomach. When i finish i hear her scolding herself, "...So stupid, I shouldn't have done that, of course shes not gonna want to eat, who would... So stupid!" I spit and grab the toilet paper to wipe my mouth off. "Holl, don't worry about it, I didn't even know it would bother me so how would you know?" I turn to look at her and shes crying. "No, Holl, seriously, don't worry about it, I'm fine see?" She looks at me with tearful eyes and I can't help but hold her. "Please don't cry love. Not for something like this."
The rest of the weekend was awkward. Neither of us knew what to do or what to say, and the only physical contact we had was comforting. What would we do now? How can you have a relationship when every time your touched you remember something like "that"... Neither of us mentioned it, but I know both of us were thinking it.