The Infiltration
Sweet Bishies
By Musiqua (changed name)
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Part III
Day Two
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TIP: View stories in 3/4 format. It's more pleasing to the eye =]
Itachi scrutinized the Japanese Teen magazine; the edges of his mouth were adamantly turned down.
"So, what do you think, Miss-Model?" Deidara teased.
Itachi growled in reply.
"I think this could solve our little dilemma." Deidara then pointed at an innocent and ridiculous dress lying on the bed.
They were sitting in Deidara's room, and had successfully stolen--conveniently borrowed-- the SFACS passes which had belonged to the original designer and model. Said people were now safely sleeping in the Akatsuki's Hostage Room.
On Deidara's fluffy cloud blankets was an elaborate, black, Victorian styled dress, complete with little bows and lace. Along with it came a bonnet, a parasol, long velvet laced gloves, fishnet tights, and gothic pumps.
Upon looking at the monstrosity, Itachi's face warped once more.
"It's not too bad, yeah." Deidara continued. "Whatever this 'Bishie' thing is in Japan, it's pretty popular…"
"I repeat. I. Am. NOT. Going. To. Be. A. 'Bishounen'." Itachi grounded his teeth.
"Face it. It's the only way…unless you have a sudden sex change in the next hour."
"Hn."
"Bishounen are just 'beautiful boys'. At least it's not like you're going to be a transvestite…or a drag queen." Deidara explained, shuddering at his last words.
"…fine. But we're scrapping the heels. "
They gazed upon the horror on the bed.
"…Want to take it for a spin?" Deidara broke the tense atmosphere hesitantly, with a tone not unlike that of suggesting driving a car without brakes. Ouch.
Itachi could only massage his temples.
***
"So firstly, we need to you to be shaved, un." Deidara declared.
"What do you mean?" Itachi reached for his clean-shaven jaw.
"Err…arms…and legs."
"That is not necessary; I'm wearing tights and gloves."
"Firstly, the tights are tinted, not opaque. Secondly, those gloves are made of sheer lace."
"…"
"So, arms or legs first?"
"…"
Come one, Bishie-chan. Choose one."
"…!"
"Or would you prefer waxing?"
"Legs." Itachi replied all too quickly.
"I knew we would come to an agreement." Deidara beamed with a creepy smile.
Deidara was not exactly a beautician, nor had he shaved legs before. However, there was a first time for everything.
Itachi only grimaced as he watched his masculine pride fall to the bathroom ground in clumps.
"Next are the arms! I'm getting good at this, un!" Deidara chirped, only to be met by an icy glare from the emotionally wounded Uchiha.
Itachi felt like he had just lost a part of him within 30 seconds flat.
***
As the two strode into the backstage dressing rooms, they were met with the calculating stares of the other designers and models of the fashion show. Deidara gulped, and Itachi glared back intensely.
"It seems as though this is not just a show…" Deidara whispered to Itachi.
"Did you not know that it is a competition between the entrants?" Itachi replied evenly, rolling his eyes at Deidara's naivety.
Deidara shivered as he met predatory glares from the other designers, who surrounded them like vultures.
"So what is your design concept?" A calculating designer questioned.
"Um…uh…beautiful...boys…"Deidara said the first thing that came to mind, as he looked at Itachi.
A vicious tic formed under the Uchiha's left eye.
The other designers raised their eyebrows and left.
"What? Did I say the wrong thing?" Deidara panicked as he looked around for Itachi, who had also left him.
Alone. All alone. Out of nowhere, a tumbleweed bounced past Deidara.
***
Just as Deidara wondered where Itachi had went, loud squeals were heard from a group of female models.
Curious, Deidara found the ear-piercing, overwhelming mob of perpetrators. As he peered closer, to his amusement, he found his darling model standing stiffly in the centre.
"Oh My GOSH! A BISHIEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
"MARRY ME! YOU'RE SO CUTEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
"Kawaiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Prettyful pretty boy!"
Deidara stifled a snort of laughter as he saw a horrified expression flit past his partner in crime's usually stoic face for a brief second.
The Uchiha was used to being a lady-killer, however, the words 'cute' and 'Itachi' was highly disturbing combination.
'Handsome, gorgeous, breath-taking and hot" were all words he could understand. But 'cute' and 'pretty' he could not. Not even with his high tolerance of torture. This was certainly pushing his limits.
***
As the music and lights came on, Deidara could see the murmur of the immense crowd die down. Bright beams of spotlights roamed the catwalk, and the host of the Spring Fling walked on.
"Good evening to you all, Ladies and Gentlemen. And welcome to the Spring Fling Annual Catwalk!"
Immediately, fireworks were set off, dazzling the audience who erupted into screams again.
Overkill much? Deidara thought as he looked at the fireworks.
"Tonight, we will see our top fashion designers battle all out with this years most outrageous clothing!"
Hm. 'Outrageous' could be an understatement. Deidara chuckled.
.
The music came boomed as the first model came on, strutting in what seemed to be a piece of thread. In Deidara's point of view of course.
"This is the first piece in Misotaki's brilliantly simple 'One String' collection!" The host introduced.
.
The second model came out in a pink metallic dress, with a pink metallic hat, pink metallic shoes, and pink metallic accessories. Heck, even her eyeshadow was pink and metallic. She very much resembled a ripe strawberry.
"Mr. Pink's blushing collection 'PINK'! Because pink is the new black!"
Deidara promptly twitched and spasmodically tried to scratch of his pink nail polish.
.
The third model was a male. Deidara breathed out a sigh of relief…which then turned into a full blown gag-cough dilemma as he saw what the model was showcasing.
A bright, lime green, lycra, jumpsuit.
"Maito Gai once again stuns us with his bright and loud fashion statements! The first piece in his 'jumpsuits of youth' collection!"
.
Deidara blanched. He decided he had enough with watching the ludicrous show, and retreated to find his partner in crime.
Itachi was a picture of serenity~
But Deidara knew better than that. They do say that it is calm before a storm. In Itachi's case, a full-blown, tornado-hurricane hybrid.
"Itachi. I forgot to tell you. Our codenames are Deidei and Chichi..."
Red eyes flashed open with murder intent, as Deidara flinched and backed away.
"CHICHI-CHAN! YOU'RE UP!!!" a blushing organiser cooed. Shuddering, Itachi took faltering steps towards the dreaded stage. Deidara regained his wits, and followed Itachi, calling out cheekily:
"It's okay Chichi-chan. You can do it! I believe in y-"
A hand immediately shot out and secured itself around Deidara's pale neck, intent on performing 'accidental' asphyxiation.
.
Music suddenly came on, saving Deidara from premature death, and signalling the start of Itachi's catwalk…and impending doom.
.
Author Notes:
RIP to Itachi's manliness and male pride