Bella's POV

My memories of what happened after I felt his teeth pierced my skin are scattered. The pain drowned out everything; there was no room for anything else. There were other people near me, I thought – I could hear them arguing – but I wasn't sure if they were really there. The fire was unquenchable, unyielding, unrelenting. It burned me from the inside out. If I thought the bite on my hand from James was bad, it was nothing compared to this. Time had no meaning, it stretched out endlessly. Seconds became minutes, minutes became hours, hours became days. I thought it would never end.

The pain receded with the fire, and for one brief second, there was complete silence. No breathing, no heart beating, no speaking, nothing. Then, I felt the world crash down on me. Anguish, guilt, anger, regret filled me, suffocated me, but there was something else as well. Part of the fire remained. It burned unbearably in my throat. My eyes were still closed, and I made no attempt to open them. I felt like I was being buried alive. The emotions I felt held me down; paralyzed me. The fire in my throat flared again. Questions began to fill my mind. Where was I? What had happened? I tried to think about the last thing I remembered before the pain.

I remembered Jake, our fight. Not the right kind of monster for you, he'd said. Werewolf, he was a werewolf. I remembered blonde hair, jumping through my window. Jasper. Kissing Jasper, touching him, his teeth sinking into my flesh. Then fire and pain. Vampire. Was I a vampire? No, that must have been a dream. Jasper was gone. Just like the rest of them.

"Yes," a velvet-voice near me whispered. His voice.

No. It wasn't true. I shook my head and let out a strangled cry as the fire continued to ravage my throat. I must have gone off the deep-end. This was a dream, a nightmare – albeit more realistic than the others – but still. Maybe I was dead. Maybe Victoria had gotten to me, but I didn't think that would really happen. Jake and the pack were watching; they would have noticed. I definitely hadn't imagined Jasper – even in my dreams, I don't think I was that creative.

"You're not dreaming, and you are not dead. Well, technically, I suppose you are, but…" he trailed off.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, and my arm wrapped around myself involuntarily. No. It wasn't true. I couldn't be a vampire. This would kill Charlie… and Jake. Werewolves have enemies? Only one. Fate certainly wouldn't be this cruel. To take away him first and then Jake? No. An eternity alone? I didn't think I could bear it.

"No," I started to say, but stopped. That wasn't my voice, was it? It was too musical, too beautiful, too much like his.

"Bella," another voice, dripping with honey, said. I felt a hand touch my cheek. "Open your eyes."

I opened them slowly. The light was so vibrant, it was blinding. Everything was magnified, like I'd been nearly blind before and now I had 20/20 vision. I saw Jasper, his blonde hair falling in his face. He looked more beautiful now that I had remembered. Like an angel. Without thinking, my hand flew to his face and I touched his lips. They were no longer cold and hard. They felt soft. I wanted to kiss him again, like I'd done however many days before. I wondered for a second if his taste would be intensified as well. I started to lean in, but I heard a snarl behind me, and I looked around. It was him. I stared at him for a minute, taking in his perfection. His bronze hair, his thick eye lashes, his lips, his face, him.

"Edward," I breathed. I was definitely dreaming. I probably fell out of bed and sustained some sort of brain damage. Yeah, that had to be it. First imagining Jasper coming though my bedroom window and kissing me, and now Edward? Maybe I was in a coma, and I'd never wake up.

Edward chucked, the melody filling my ears. It was the most fantastic sound. "Only you would think you were in a coma. I assure you, you are not asleep," he frowned. "We can't sleep, remember?"

I looked around the room and noticed all of the Cullen's staring at me. That's when I noticed where I was. This was Alice's room. I looked back at Jasper. His red eyes were studying me intently. I flinched away from him. If he had red eyes, he must have cheated on their "diet". My eyes widened, and I felt myself start to panic. I should not be sitting this close to him if he'd slipped recently. It would be like September all over again. With a pained look on his face, Jasper moved away from me. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head in my arms. This could not be happening. This could not be real. I looked around again. Everyone was still staring at me. It was almost as if they were waiting on something, but what?

The ache in my throat was getting worse. I felt so dry. I swallowed a few times, but it didn't seem to help. In fact, it only made it worse. I felt so… thirsty. Maybe I would feel better if I had some water. Maybe I could throw some cold water on myself, and I'd wake up finally.

"Bella," Edward said, lifting my face by my chin so I was looking directly at him. "It's not water you need."

I stared at him, my mind trying desperately to understand the words he spoke, but all I could think about was the dryness in my throat, and the longing for something I could not name. Then another thought came to me. Three times now, Edward had answered my unasked questions. Almost as if… he could read my mind when I knew very well that he couldn't.

"Yes, I can," he replied.

My eyes widened as I realized… my thoughts. Edward could read my thoughts. I gasped.

He sighed. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, Bella. We aren't quite sure how it happened. I've tried blocking you, but unfortunately, your thoughts are rather loud and persistent."

"This is real, then? I'm not dreaming?" I asked, the voice coming out of my mouth too melodic to be my own.

The Cullen's looked at one another. Edward nodded. "This is real," he confirmed.

My eyes flickered over all of the Cullen's, taking in their expressions. I could feel the sadness and regret reflected in their faces. Seconds passed, maybe longer, before I spoke. I thought surely my voice would sound more like a croak than what it did with my throat as dry as it felt.

"H-how did this happen?" I asked Edward. So far he had been the one to handle the majority of the conversation.

He turned to Jasper, who lowered his head. "Perhaps you should ask Jasper that question," he said, his voice low and menacing.

I turned my attention back to Jasper and waited. He sighed. "What is the last thing you remember?"

I closed my eyes and tried to remember. I saw images of beaches, a kitchen filled to the brim with Jake and his friends. I remembered crying in my room. And Jasper. He had come through my window. The entire scene replayed in my head. I remembered the kiss. The way he looked at me, the way his lips felt against mine, the way his skin felt below my hands, the way he smelled, the way he tasted. It had been incredible. Never in my life had I ever felt anything that powerful. The hunger, the absolute need I'd felt. I remembered all of it. He had pushed me against the bed; we were kissing. He took my shirt off, and then…

My eyes flew open. "You… did this? That wasn't a dream?" I managed to say after a second.

He nodded. "I'm very sorry," he murmured softly. "I never meant to hurt you, Bella, please believe that. I let things go too far, and for that I am sorry. I should have never let myself lose control that way."

Confused. I was very confused. "So, you bit me… and I'm a vampire now? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" I asked, but really I didn't need the answer. The ache in my throat, the change in my voice, the lack of a heartbeat… well, those were all the signs I needed, really.

"Yes."

I felt like the room was spinning. This could not be happening. Not possible. I had to go home. I had to see Jake and Charlie.

"C-can I see someone's phone? I need to make a call." I said. My voice seemed so strange; it was like listening to someone else's voice.

"Bella," Edward said in a pained voice, walking closer to me. "I don't think that's a good idea."

With every step he took, every word he spoke to me, the hole in my chest ripped further, if he didn't stop, I wasn't sure what would happen.

"I don't care. I want to talk to Jake," I said, my voice growing slightly hysterical.

"No, Bella," Edward said. He clenched his jaw. I resisted the urge to yell at him. Why did he care if I talked to Jake or not?

"Because he's a werewolf!" he cried out.

"I don't care if he's a werewolf. He's my friend. I don't want him to think I've just vanished completely. He doesn't deserve that." As if I never existed, I thought.

Edward cringed. "Bella, please. Listen to reason for once."

I ignored him again and turned to face Jasper. "Do you have a phone I can use? If Edward is so against it, I wouldn't want to inconvenience him. I'm sure he is more than ready to return to his… distractions."

"I do. If you're sure that's a good idea, Bella," Jasper said, his eyes looking for any reluctance from me.

"I'm sure. Unless you guys would like a pack of adolescent werewolves out in the woods searching for me…"

"I really don't think it's a good idea, Bella," Edward said again, a growl growing in his chest.

I was surprised about the amount of anger I felt towards him. Sadness, I expected. Anger I did not. "I don't care what you think, Edward." Not anymore.

Jasper pulled out his phone reluctantly and went to hand it to me, but Edward grabbed it before I could.

"Give it to me," I hissed.

"Bella," he said, his velvet voice rough. "Bella, I know you are upset with me, and you have every right to be. What I did was terrible, unforgivable, leaving you that way. I'm not trying to keep you away from your friend. I'm trying to protect you. Jacob won't care that you're Bella. All he will care about is that you are a vampire. That's all."

I closed my eyes so that I wouldn't have to see his beautiful face. The anger filled me completely like the growing ache in my throat. It consumed every thought I had until nothing but the fire and fury remained. Jasper rubbed circles on my back, and I felt the anger dissolve somewhat, but it didn't stop the fire. When I opened my eyes, everyone but Jasper, Edward, and I had left the room.

"I think I can handle anything Jacob throws at me," I muttered.

"She needs to hunt soon," Jasper told Edward.

"No, I don't," I said stubbornly. The only thing I needed to do was talk to Jacob.

"Yes, you do, Bella. That fire in the back of your throat? You're thirsty," Edward said.

"You're just trying to distract me, so I won't call Jacob."

"You're not calling him anyway. There is no need for a distraction," he said.

"She can call Jacob if she wants to, Edward. Give her the phone."

"Bella, be reasonable," Edward said.

"Funny you should mention being reasonable. And you have no right to tell me what to do. You gave up that right, so just give me that phone."

"No," he said through his teeth.

"Fine, don't give me the phone, then." I jumped off the bed and headed for the door. Edward was in front of me before I ever reached it.

"Where do you think you're going?" he said, his nostrils flared in anger.

"You won't give me the phone, so I'm just going to the reservation to see him."

"Isabella Marie Swan, have you no sense of self-preservation at all? Do you know what he would do to you if you went to the reservation? If you stepped over the treaty line?"

"Seems to me like the treaty is already broken. You shouldn't be so concerned though, really. Jake would never hurt me. I used to spend almost every day with him."

I'd never seen Edward angrier. I thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his head.

"I thought you promised you wouldn't be reckless," he accused.

"I wasn't being reckless. If it wasn't for the pack, I would be dead now. Just because the good vampires in my life abandoned me doesn't mean the bad ones did. As for that promise, you broke yours as soon as the words were out of your mouth. I didn't want to be the only one keeping empty promises."

"What do you mean? Bad vampires?" Edward asked.

"Laurent nearly killed me. He would have if Jake and Sam hadn't shown up when they did, and then Victoria… she's been trying to get me for weeks. I just can't let him think I dropped off the face of the earth."

"Laurent…Victoria," he sputtered.

I looked into his beautiful eyes for the first time in months. This was going to kill me later, I knew that, but I had to talk to Jake. "Please, Edward." I managed to say without wincing. "I am going to talk to him one way or another. Just give me the phone."

He stared at me for several minutes as if he was trying to memorize my face before wordlessly handing me the phone. I walked back over to the bed and looked at the phone. Now what? I had no idea what I was going to say to Jake. Hey Jake, yeah, I know I sorta disappeared in the middle of the night and went missing for three days. I'm fine. What's new you ask? Oh, nothing much… except I'm a vampire now. I shook my head. Nope. That wouldn't work. How about this…Hey Jake. Can't talk, just wanted to let you know I'm a leech now. Later. Nope. That wouldn't work either. Oh, this is better. Hey Jake, sorry I just disappeared. I was making out with my ex-boyfriend's brother when he bit me, and now I'm a vampire. Just thought you'd like to know. Definitely not.

As much as I hated to admit it, Edward was probably right, but I had to talk to him. I groaned in annoyance and dialed Jake's number. I would have gone into the bathroom for a bit of privacy, but with vampire hearing and Edward being able to read my mind now, I figured that was pretty pointless. I waited anxiously until I heard Jacob answer the phone.

"Yeah?" his sounded sad and worn out. I wanted nothing more than to run to him right then and give him a hug.

"J-Jake?" I was suddenly nervous, very nervous.

"Who is this?" he demanded.

"Jake, it's me,"

"Look, I'm trying to sleep, so either tell me who this is or get off the phone," he growled.

Jasper leaned in and murmured in my ear, "You sound very different. He won't recognize your voice."

Oh. I hadn't thought about that.

"I'm hangin' up now," he threatened.

"Wait!" I cried. "Don't hang up. It's Bella."

"Bells?" I heard a crash in the background and voices talking. "Where are you? Do you have any idea how worried I've been? And Charlie? I thought that damn red-haired leech had another partner. His scent was all over your room – even in your bed. We found your shirt and blood. Damn it, Bella, you scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Its okay, Bells. Just tell me where you are and I'll come get you. Everyone's been going crazy. Embry feels terrible. It was his night to patrol. They got a lead on the red-haired leech. He thought you'd be safe."

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have called. "I can't, Jake. I've got to go."

"You're with him, aren't you? I knew you were. The minute Sam told me they were back, I knew. Damn it, Bells. I can't believe you'd just go back to him. After everything he did to you. Charlie's goin' crazy worrying about you, and you're with him," he spat out.

"It's not like that, Jake. I know Charlie must be worried. I want to see you, see him; I just can't."

"Yes, you can. You're just choosing to stay with him. Don't you see? He's no good for you," I could hear the anger in his voice and could imagine his hands shaking.

"Jake, please," I begged. "I don't want to fight with you."

"Then why did you call me, Bella? Ugh. If you don't want to see me or Charlie, why did you even bother to call me?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. You're my best friend, Jacob."

"Yeah, I was, but if you're going to be with him, Bella… I don't see how we can keep being friends."

"God, Jacob. Get it through your thick werewolf skull. I'm not with him!"

"Whatever, Bella. You think I'm stupid? He comes back, and you disappear. What else was I supposed to think?"

"Ugh! And you call me stubborn. Maybe you are stupid. Didn't we go through this already? I'm not with him. Even if I wanted to be, Jake, he doesn't want me, remember?" I started sobbing, but the tears I desperately wanted never came.

"I'm sorry, Bells. Damn it, I am stupid. Please, don't cry. Just tell me where you are, and I'll come get you. We'll do anything you want to do, I promise. And I won't mention that leech again. Please," he begged. "We haven't taken the motorcycles out in a while, or gone cliff-diving yet. You could even come to the council meeting tonight and watch Embry eat a dozen hot dogs. Just tell me where you are, and I'll come get you."

"I can't. Goodbye Jacob. Please take care of Charlie for me," I whispered between sobs.

"Wait! Bella, no! I love you, don't hang up. I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's not you, Jake. You know I love you, too. You're my best friend. If it wasn't for you, I'd be locked in a padded cell now, you know that."

"Then what is it, Bella? You don't have to do this, whatever it is, we can work it out! I know you're still in love with him, but I could make you happy Bella. You know I could."

"I know you could, Jake, but… this isn't anything we can change. We can't work this out. There's no going back. Bye Jake."

"Bella, whatever it is, we can! Don't…" I hung up before he could finish that sentence. I dropped Jasper's phone in my lap and sobbed against the bed.

I felt cold – colder than I'd ever felt before. I craved Jacob like I craved the sunlight. He'd always been my personal sun. With a smile spread on his face, he was always able to cheer me up. Make me feel human when I was more zombie than anything. But I couldn't go to him now – probably not ever. No Charlie, No Jake… and Edward might as well not even be here. How was I supposed to stay here? With him? I don't want you to come with me… you're no good for me… He was right; I wasn't good for him, for Jake, for anyone.

"Bella, I…" his voice sounded tortured. I could feel him walking closer.

"Just go, Edward, please. Just leave me alone." I said.

"Bella, please," he whispered.

Just leave, Edward. It's what you do best, after all. I told him in my head, addressing him through my thoughts for the first time.

He stood there for a minute, but then he left. I curled myself into a ball and sobbed harder when I heard his bedroom door slam shut. Jasper pulled me into his lap and stroked my hair while I sobbed.

The words I told Jacob echoed through my head. There's no going back. I was right. There was no going back. Nothing would ever be the same again, and I did not like that one bit.

Jasper's POV

I held Bella while she sobbed. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, so many things that I needed to say to her, but the words wouldn't come, so I just stroked her hair and tried to calm her down. When her sobs finally died down, Esme, Alice and Rosalie poked their heads in the room.

"Bella, why don't you come with us? You'll feel better once you take a shower. I promise no Bella Barbie, honest," Alice said. I saw the sadness in her eyes, but she was feeling hopeful. She was glad to have her friend back.

Bella didn't respond at first but her body stiffened, and I felt her sadness… the same sadness she felt all those months they were gone.

Alice, ever persistent, asked again. "Please, Bella. You'll feel better, I promise."

Bella turned to look at them. "Why didn't you call me Alice? Or write me? Or warn me? You were my friend, my sister! How could you do that? Edward said he didn't love me, that he was tired of pretending, fine! But what about you, Alice? Did you not love me either? Were you tired of pretending to be human, too?"

Tears that would never fall glistened in Alice's eyes. "Bella, I do love you. You're my sister in every sense of the word. I told Edward he was being an idiot, but he wouldn't listen. I wanted to call you! We all did. None of us wanted to leave, but he made us. He wouldn't let us say good-bye or anything."

Bella turned back around and faced me, her red eyes boring into mine. "Jasper, I want to go home. Please take me home. I want to see Charlie, I have to see Charlie."

The three women in front of me sucked in air they didn't need and glared at me. I sighed and braced myself for the emotions that were about to come. "Bella, you can't go home. You can't see Charlie. I'm so sorry."

She started sobbing again. "No! I want to go home. I want to see Charlie. He needs me!"

Esme walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Sweet Bella, why don't we get you cleaned up? Alice is right, you will feel better. Then, we can go hunt if you'd like. I'm sure you are thirsty. We will answer any questions you may have after."

"I don't want to hunt! I don't want to be a vampire! I just want to go home. Please, I have to go."

She was getting more hysterical by the second, but none of my calming waves seemed to work. "Bella, I'm so sorry. You can't go home," I murmured in her ear.

"I don't want to be here! I want to go home."

Emmett, Carlisle, and Edward showed up in the doorway. I motioned for Carlisle to walk over. He's always been the calmest.

"Bella, you cannot go to your old home right now. Perhaps in time you can, but you are welcome to stay here as long as you'd like. We would all be delighted if you would stay, you've always been welcome here. Esme can set up on of the guest rooms for you."

"I don't want to stay here. I want to go home. Why can't I just go home? I don't want this; I don't want to be a vampire anymore. Why can't I go back? I want to see Charlie, I want to see Jake!" she shrieked.

"Damn it, Jasper," Edward growled. He walked over to the bed and dropped on the floor making himself level with her. "Bella, shhh. You can't go home. You know that. Please understand, Bella. Let Alice take you and get you cleaned up."

He reached up to brush the hair out of her face, and she bolted across the bed to the other side of the room. "Don't touch me, Edward!"

He glared at me. "Can't you calm her down? This is your fault! If it wasn't for you, she wouldn't be going through this!"

"Don't you think I've tried?" I said. "It's like she's blocking me. I can feel her emotions, but I can't change them. I could before, but now I can't."

"Boys, none of this is doing any good. You're only making her more upset," Esme scolded.

"Come on, Bells. Let's go see if we can find some irritable grizzlies for you! I'll even let you wrestle if you want!" Emmett said. Rosalie was quick to smack him in the back of the head when Bella only sobbed louder. For all the arguing and name-calling Rosalie had done to Bella and about Bella in the past, she was full of remorse, regret, and sympathy. She walked over to where Bella was sitting on the floor and put her arms around her.

"Bella, why don't you come with me? I've got some clothes you can change into, and then we can talk if you want, but we should probably hunt soon. I know you must be frightened, but it will be all right, I promise."

Before we knew what was happening, Bella let Rosalie lead her out of the room and down the hall to her bathroom.