Title: Silent Desperation

Pairing: Tomoyo/Yukito

Canon: manga

"I'm fading."

He delivered the words simply, their sound absorbed by the rain that surrounded them. A simple fact made simpler by the morose surroundings.

"How soon?"

"Very."

He smiled down at her and she was struck again by how much he had come to look like his magical counterpart. Everyone attributed it to age, but she had always wondered if that was true. If it weren't for the still warm eyes and as yet short hair, there would be no difference. It wasn't age. It was bleeding through.

"Does she know?"

"No. Nor does Toya. I don't want to tell them now that…."

"Do you think it's because of Fujitaka-sensei died?"

"Yes."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

She said it simply. Two words. Yet, in them he felt the reverberation of regret and sorrow. He looked down at her where she stood beside him. She had grown even more beautiful in the past decade. Her skin had grown more snowy, her hair more lustrous. She could easily have been a star but had instead chosen to take a step back in deference to her friend.

That was her way. She did everything in deference to everyone else. All of them had turned to her for comfort at one point or another. She was an ever-ready sympathetic ear. When advice was needed, she offered it. When encouragement was silently pleaded for, she gave it. When words weren't enough, she offered a shoulder to cry on.

Often he had mentally compared his counterpart to her. Both of them chose to leave the important things, the love, unsaid. They were silent pillars of support. Of sorrow.

"I know."

* * *

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Take care of them. My other self is one thing but…."

"I know."

…

"It will be too much for her. Two losses so close together."

"She's strong. It will hurt and she will feel guilt, but she will get by."

"Because she has you."

"And others."

"You are the important one, though. You are the one that supports us all."

"I tried."

"Thank you."

"What can I do for you?"

* * *

"Let me hold you."

She nodded in silent assent and, for the first time since they met more than a decade before, he held her in his arms. She wrapped her own around him, leaning her head on his chest as he bent his over hers. She was trembling and at long last he got confirmation that she wasn't as calm as she seemed. Her tremors triggered his own and his breath caught in his throat. When it finally escaped, it was ragged and sharp.

He was going to die.

For the first time, the thought truly struck home. He was going to die and leave no trace of himself behind. There would be no body to bury, no ashes to scatter. He would simply cease to exist. In the end, the only proof of his existence would be held in the memories of those who and known him. Even then, those would fade. How long before even the girl in his arms right then forgot what he looked like, how his voice sounded? How long before every memory was absorbed into his other self just as he was about to be?

There was no rational thought in his mind as he pulled back and bent his head to press his lips to hers. He didn't stop when she stiffened in surprise and sighed in relief when she relaxed, accepting his embrace. She let him kiss her as he'd only kissed Toya before. There was a passion, a desperation, in him that needed to be filled as he convinced her to open her mouth to him and he crushed her slight form to his chest.

Rain poured around them and there was only the moment.

Hours, minutes, seconds later, he withdrew, his breath uneven. One breath and then another before the pants became gasps and sobs. The ground gave way beneath his feet and he was on his knees, unstoppable tears matching the ragged sobs as he pressed his face into her stomach.

* * *

Silent, she ran her fingers through his hair, giving what comfort she could to a broken man. She tipped her face back and let the rain mix with her own tears as they rolled down her cheek and onto the hair of the desolate man who clung to her.

"I'm so sorry."

A/N: I found the sheet of paper that all these were originally done on. Funny what happens when you clean your room. So I'm picking back up the thread and working on them. Fifteen all together. Fun little writer's exercises. I also went through and reedited the previous chapters so hopefully they are a bit more readable.

I LOVE this one. It is very different from my original plan for it and i'm glad. All of these together, I hope, will tell a post-series story. Though, poor Tomoyo, she seems to be the receipent of my angst.

Hope you enjoyed it.