Jasper's POV

Had I blood of my own, it would have run cold at her words. Her emotions surrounded me, a chaotic whirlwind – confusion, guilt, despair, and … love? I nodded in agreement. As much as I wish I could avoid it, I knew this moment was coming. I was foolish to believe she could love me, that she did love me.

She sighed and began pacing in front of me "There's something you should know, Jasper – before anything else happens."

My eyes studied hers, trying to make sense of what she was saying. Before anything else happens? Did that mean something else was going to happen? "Okay," I said, apprehension leaking into my voice.

I couldn't help but watch her as she continued her pacing, her body moving gracefully – so different from her gait as a human yet so much the same. Her hair flowed down her back, the sun causing the red undertones to stand out.

She bit her lower lip and stared down at the ground, anxiety rolled off of her. I calmed her as best I could, but the anxiety was still strong. I approached her, taking her hands in mine.

"Bella, whatever it is, you can tell me," I murmured to her.

"I'm so selfish," she finally said. "You deserve someone who can give their entire heart, their entire soul, their entire being to you – someone like Alice. I can't give those things to you because they aren't mine to give – not completely anyway. I would give them in an instant if I could, but I just can't."

I removed one of my hands from her grasp and raised it to her face, caressing her cheek tenderly. "You are the furthest thing from selfish, Isabella. Even now, you aren't thinking of yourself, only others. I know what I'm doing, and even if you only had a tenth of your heart to give away, I would want it. It wouldn't change how I feel about you." I brushed the hair away from her face. "I want you to be selfish, Bella. Tell me what you want, and you can have it. Don't think about Alice or Edward or Jacob or anyone else. Just you. Tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen. Your happiness is what is important to me."

She turned her gaze downward as she bit her lip again. "I want you, but-"

I put a hand under her chin and lifted it up until her crimson eyes were staring into mine. "No buts, Isabella. Do you want me?" I asked softly but firmly.

"Yes," she whispered so quietly that if I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't have heard it.

I leaned down so that our lips were almost touching. I could feel her sweet breath on my lips with each exhale. "Then you shall have me," I said as I crashed my lips into hers.

Edward's POV

For the best; it was all for the best. I chanted the words in my head like a mantra in a vain attempt to convince myself of their validity. The house was quiet now – for the moment. The laughter and sounds of passion that had emanated from the floor below for the past two days were gone, as were the torturous thoughts that went with them. After Bella's episode – or perhaps vision was the better word – she and Jasper had left the house to hunt. I should have felt relieved to be free from their thoughts and actions for a brief period of time, but being the masochist that I was, I craved her presence – in whatever capacity I could have it.

I groaned as the door to my sanctuary was opened, and Alice flitted in uninvited. She moved gracefully across the room and sat on the floor in front of my couch, folding her legs beneath her. She studied me for a moment, her topaz eyes searching for something, but what I wasn't sure.

"How long is this going to last?" she asked finally.

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose between two of my fingers. "How long is what going to last?" I growled as I opened my eyes to glare at her.

"This wallowing," she said, motioning towards me.

"What would you have me do, Alice? Would you rather me leave? I don't know what else to do!" I spat out, exasperated.

She arched one of her black eyebrows and continued her scrutiny. "Of course I don't want you to leave."

"How can you stand it?" I asked her, running a hand through my hair. "How can you stand him being with her? He's your husband! Can't you do something?"

"Do what, Edward? Tie him to the bed? Force him to stay with me? Force him to love me? Force him not to love her? Don't you think this is killing me? Don't you think this is tearing me apart inside? But what can I do – what can we do? Nothing! Absolutely nothing. I don't blame her; I don't even blame him! I blame you! I told you not to leave her; I told you your decision would have dire consequences. I told you she wouldn't be fine, but you didn't listen to me! Your leaving is what started this entire thing. It was the catalyst. If you hadn't left, she wouldn't have fallen apart. If you hadn't left, Jasper wouldn't have felt the need to check on her. If you hadn't left, he would have never had the opportunity to fall in love with her! It was all you! You did this," she said, her voice breaking on the last word and tearless sobs shook her tiny frame.

Her words cut through me like a blade. Was I to blame? Had I pushed them together? I shook the thought out of my head. No, my leaving was a mistake – I knew that now – but I did it with the best of intentions. I wanted her to have a happy, human life. A life without shadows, without vampires, without me. Even now, I continue to hurt her. Perhaps it would be best if I left.

Alice growled fiercely, her eyes narrowing and darkening in anger. "Don't you dare leave."

"It doesn't matter. I'm not strong enough to leave again," I muttered darkly rising off the couch in one fluid motion. I couldn't leave, but I had to clear my head. Our meadow held such wonderful memories, but now it was tainted by the last words we'd spoken to one another there. Anywhere would be better than spending another moment in this bedroom. The memories here were unbearable. I sighed and walked out of the room, leaving Alice behind.

"Have a nice walk," she called as I hurried down the stairs.

Rosalie was sitting on the couch filing her nails as Emmett flipped through the TV channels aimlessly when I entered the living room. Rosalie looked up from her nails with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I asked her.

"Martyrdom doesn't suit you, Edward," Rosalie said coolly.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Rosalie."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't like her being with him, stop acting like a petulant child who's had his favorite toy taken away, and do something about it," she snapped.

"He makes her happy," I said simply. "All I ever do is hurt her. She's better off with him."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "You're delusional."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "No, I'm realistic. I've hurt her too deeply in the past. I stand by what I said; she's better off with him."

Emmett turned the TV off abruptly and faced me. "You don't really believe that, do you?" he asked incredulously.

My eyes narrowed. "Of course I do. I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't true."

"Your broken stereo system upstairs says differently," Emmett said turning back to Rosalie. "She still loves you. I don't know why you keep pushing her away."

"It is for her own good." I growled.

"Oh, but how silly of you, Emmett, to assume that Edward would keep anyone or anything in mind but his own righteous notions of what's best for Bella." She turned her piercing gaze on me ruthlessly, "Your unnatural penchant for melodrama and overreaction is what got you into this position in the first place, Edward. If you don't stop with all of this ridiculous self-loathing crap, you are going to lose her! And I, for one, do not want to spend the rest of eternity with your incessant brooding."

"I don't believe I asked you for your opinion, Rosalie. So kindly keep it to yourself," I hissed. "Since you brought it up, however, let me reiterate for you that I left her so that she could have a normal human life! Something you seemed to be all for at the time, if my memory serves correctly, and I believe it does. Wanting to keep her alive does not a melodrama make!"

"Touché, Edward, but last I checked you weren't God, only a scared little boy with a god-complex. Continue on with your self-deprecating tendencies if you must, but remember you'll only have yourself to blame when she's lost to you forever. If you wait too long; she may come to her senses and realize that you aren't the perfect Adonis she always imagined you to be."

"Shut up, Rosalie. For once in your life, just shut up. This is none of your business." I snarled as I left the house, slamming the door loudly behind me.

I ran fast and hard, hoping to clear my head, hoping to forget, hoping to be numb so the pain didn't feel so brutal. I ran with no destination in mind, my feet carrying me wherever they saw fit. The trees were a blur as I ran. It wasn't long before two familiar scents filtered in through my nose. I stopped, frozen in place. Unable to look away from the scene in front of me, but it was unbearable to continue looking.

A word fell involuntarily from my lips, causing the two figures to look back at me. "Bella."