A Glitch in Perfection
By et3rn4l d4rkn3ss
Chapter Five: Desire
Thursday's usuals came and went; Friday was no different. But with each passing day, Rukia's anxiety grew. By Saturday, Rukia was positive her brother's requisition had been a request for her to accompany him to visit her sister for the first time. Just thinking about what followed Saturday made her nervous. Well, not just nervous. She had other thoughts about the situation as well, but they bounced around in her head too wildly; she was unable to pick up their constantly changing frequencies and isolate the thoughts into anything concrete. Sadness was definitely in her confusing mixture of feelings. Sadness, for the remembrance of her sister's death, for knowing so little about her sister, for the missed opportunity of having a sister, and for the pain her brother must have been feeling.
Especially for the pain Nii-sama must be feeling…
Saturday's dinner had been especially uncomfortable. Rukia tried to make conversation with Byakuya, hoping somehow, their discussion topic could have lead to Hisana. In response to Rukia's effort, Byakuya made none. Rukia left dinner early, annoyed and unsatisfifed, and stalked out the Kuchiki manor to find Renji
And she did. He was sprawled out on Matsumoto's floor; Baldy hugging his stomach as a pillow; Matsumoto on her bed—the sake they drank leaving bold, apparent stains on the cheeks of all three.
"So much for that…" Rukia muttered, walking over to Renji and smacking him on the forehead before dragging him up. Ikkaku rolled onto his side, muttering something inaudible.
"Uhh…" Renji groaned on their way back to his room, his feet dragging loud uneven steps in the silent hallway. "My lovely Byakuya. Please, no more paperwork for me. Okay, darling?" Rukia had to laugh, especially seeing that stupid drunk grin on Renji's face.
"Sorry to break it to you, Renji, but somehow, I seriously doubt him knowing you have such feelings toward him is going to effect the amount of paperwork he assigns you," she giggled, before adding, "darling." Rukia kicked his door open with one of her feet. "Let's hope he has no business with you tonight." She laid Renji down on his bed, letting out the huge breath of air she had taken into her lungs, as if more air in her lungs could make supporting Renji's weight more effortless.
She lied down beside him, taking the spot Ikkaku placed himself, though lying beside Renji for Rukia held a completely different meaning than it did for Ikkaku—if it had any meaning for him at all in the first place.
To Rukia, Renji was the memories of home. Of sweat, hunger, and the fields of wild weeds. The sweat from their childhood games under the hot afternoon sun. The hunger that pushed them to strive to get to a better place. The wild weeds that surrounded them as they grew up. The memories so distant, and yet still as vivid in her head. And who was Byakuya to take all those things away from her? Who was Byakuya, a complete stranger to claim her his sister?
Life had been so simple when it was just Rukia and Renji back in the days when they were still in Rukangan. When the only thing that seemed to matter was having enough food to keep them from starvation. Those days had been so carefree. There was nothing to worry about. No paperwork to do. No need for Rukia to force herself to use "appropriate" language. No noble family to represent. No rules to obey. No laws to comply to. No responsibilities. No duties to carry out. No humans to protect. No sister to mourn. No Byakuya.
No Byakuya…
Rukia found the urgency to turn to her side and clutch at her chest. The thought of not having Byakuya in her life introduced unqualified stabs of pain at her heart. She gasped, surprised she let herself allow Byakuya to hold such significance in her life. It had never occurred to Rukia before, but when the thought came to her mind, there was no way she could deny it: Life would still be pretty simple for the most part… If her feelings for her brother could be discarded.
She curled up her legs; she could feel the calm, assuring heat of Renji's body, and his steady breaths and occasional murmurs she was unable to piece together into words. And then she heard the door open. She sat up with a jerk of her body, and a ripple of guilt washed through her, although she was unsure whether her guilt was for the sharing of a bed between a boy and a girl, or for being caught thinking about her feelings for her brother, or for, in the first place, ever having such feelings. The sound of the opening of the door was a jolt back to reality for Rukia—the way things were supposed to be, in contrast to her fantasies.
Rukia felt like she almost coughed up her heart and then forcefully swallowed it back down when she came to recognize the figure that crowded the doorway. Despite the cool breeze that came in through the window, her face felt hot—burning—Rukia knew she was blushing and secretly thanked the sun, the gravity and the laws of physics for the existence of night.
"Nii-sama?" After what must have been more than ten seconds of unbroken eye contact between them, Rukia spoke first, her voice weak and abashed.
"Rukia." Was her brother's reply. He walked over to the bed, stopped, backed up the table, dropped off a pile of paperwork, and then back to the bed. Rukia quickly detached herself from Renji and scrambled clumsily to her feet. She kept her eyes on the ground, her feelings a mixture of embarrassment and misbehaviour. His eyes remained on her. Before Byakuya gave them a chance to proceed into another staring session, he grabbed her by the hand and started speedily towards the swung open door.
If a kiss between two lovers could be described to be fireworks, then the acquaintance of their fingers would be some serious roman candles. Rukia's heart pounded with the touch of his long icy fingers on her own warm ones. She took a look at Renji over her shoulder, and with much resentment, she was forced to discontinue contact between her brother and her.
When he had reached the door, Byakuya felt a tug from the warm little hand. Afraid he was unaware he had been hurting her, his grip loosened measurably, and her hand slipped out. He turned around. Rukia had rushed back to Renji's side, pulling the navy blue covering over his body, and tucking in the sides where the wind could possibly pass on a cold to him. He looked away, not wanting to look—not wanting to know.
It's rude to stare… He told himself.
But he knew there was more to his semblance than he let himself believe.
Byakuya could not let his fingers not crave for the touch of hers. He could not calm his heart down from its irregular beating.
In the front foyer, with an expressionless expression he did such a good job at holding, he dismissed his sister for the night. Rukia apologized with no lack of sincerity.
He noticed her hair, sticking to the nape of her neck from the humid summer air—her neck so exposed. For a second, in his head, he pictured the feel of her hot breath on his own neck. He felt hunger. His hand, as if with a mind of its own, reached out to her, but it only took him a short moment to realise his own action. And he stopped, withdrawing with immediate constraint. He saw confusion in her eyes, before it was shortly overcome by exhaust.
"Good night, Nii-sama." She turned, and then walked off to her own room. He watched her go. Her raven-coloured hair tracing the outlines of her back, as like his eyes did.
He desired her.
1. I'm so sorry! I haven't updated in so long, right? Well, here it is, chapter 5! After I got back my result for my first unit test in physics, I completely eliminated the computer from my life... cuz I got... SO BAD. But I just got back my second unit test today, and I did really good! :D So... I decided to update!
2. Sorry, it's short, but I'm bad at writing long chapters, and lately, I've been feeling so... out of words...? I have to start reading books again! Hehe...
3. Who wants to become a vegetarian? I do! lol...
Anyways! Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always, and if you didn't review, please do! Love u all! :)