Aerowena and Cullen Chapter 3

Frustration caused a sleepless night for Cullen. Sharing a room with other men and women of the Templar made relief impossible. It was improper anyhow, he reminded himself. And her admission made it even more reprehensible. To love her so completely, without return, was his punishment, he decided.

He stared at her, longingly, across the library. His heart ached, and yet he still lusted for her. He found himself fixated on her lips as she delicately gnawed on her lower lip while reading. He briefly closed his eyes and remembered their feel against his. So beautiful and so treacherous; so smart and so sweet as well. He wished any of her tenderness was directed towards him.

He'd seen her in the kitchens helping the staff. She sat sometimes, on the counter making the cooks laugh. She even got along with some of the other Templars, healing them when they were sick or helping the brothers make mead. How could he not love her, with her impish smile and sultry eyes? He found himself wondering how much of her kindness towards the Templars was by design.

Suddenly, he realized she was looking right at him. Then the hussy arched her back and stretched her arms, like a cat, over her head.

He had been hard all night and it hadn't abated this morning. It was tolerable, before, now he felt pain as it pressed against his armor. He shifted uncomfortably. A slow, knowing smile curved her lips and her head tilted in that way he adored so much. He had to get out of here. He turned and made his way outside for air.

Aerowena watched him turn on his heel and stalk out of the library. She had no doubts about why he had suddenly shifted stances. She had less than three hours until she met with Jowan and she had spent the better part of the morning hunting for Cullen, rather than relieve her…discomfort. When she felt the hairs on the back of her neck tickle, she knew he was watching her. She looked up to see him gazing so intently at her, it almost hurt to watch. Instead she stretched her hands over her head and stuck out her bosom. The next thing she knew, he was out the door like a Mabari war hound on the scent of darkspawn. She followed after him quickly as he made his escape outside.

Once again she had him outside, although today the grounds were teeming with Templars, enchanters and mages. She wondered if he must attend guard duty tonight and if so, where. And then Calliana, one of the other Templars, came up and put her hand on his shoulder. Before she could control her actions, she had cast lightening onto the girl's boots. The entire grounds stopped and stared at her, two Templars drew their swords and she stood there for a moment eyes wide. "I, um, oh dear, so sorry Calliana," she shouted across. Calliana was jumping up and down trying to cast off her boots. "Twas completely an accident!" Mortified, and terrified, she turned and escaped inside, but not before taking in Cullen's throaty laugh.

Tonight she was approaching the Templar quarters with a much different task, and with greater humility. She didn't feel bad per say, about the teeny zap she had given Calliana. It was just not a good idea to get on the bad side of the Templars. It wasn't as if she had hurt the girl badly, she justified. She'd barely used a hundredth of her power to cast the spell. It was a tiny shock, that's all, she muttered. Thank goodness she was on such good terms with the cooks. A bunch of honey cakes for the Templar knights made them ever so grateful, and Calliana very forgiving. Bring them honey cakes and they still stared at her as if she'd murdered a family and eaten the children, she sighed and curled her lip in distaste.

What had she been thinking? She'd had to put off her excursion with Jowan for yet another night to avoid suspicion. Fool girl, she fumed again as she closed her chamber door. She'd throw another bottle of Lyrium, if the First hadn't threatened her with pot duty, should she do so again. Instead, she sat on the bed and tried to figure why she had risked everything to cast magic on a Templar in full view of the entire Circle mages and Templars.

Jealous! She was jealous today. Cullen hadn't been able to stop grinning since this afternoon. He should have been more concerned for her safety. She could have been killed instantly by the nearest Templar if her magic had been stronger. Zapped her boots with electricity, she did! He laughed aloud again, garnering strange looks for the other Templars. So the little elf did feel something for him then.

Recently, he'd been thinking about his vows, his duties to the Chantry and Templars in more depth. His training had pitted him as her guard but also as her guardian. This is what many mages didn't understand. Templars were there to watch the mages, but also to watch over the mages. He believed in what he did, but for the first time, he doubted his vows were necessary and that mages were all ultimately destined to turn into something evil.

His whole life, Cullen had been devoted to the Chantry and the Maker, but, as he watched her and as his love intensified, he wondered how the Maker could expect chastity with this passion. How the Maker could expect sorrow with the promise of such joy.

Oh, if it were only lust and passion, he could understand, but this burning need, this passion was just a small part. These feelings he had for her confused his purpose. Everything he thought he knew was tossed aside and new realizations were enlightening him. For the first time he wondered what his life would have been had he been given any choices.

He suddenly needed to see her now. To find out if her jealousy meant something, anything - to find out if he meant something.

Aerowena lay in bed trying to think of a way to get to Cullen. She wasn't likely to seduce him from across the tower, no matter how much magic was at her disposal. In fact, she wasn't likely to seduce him if he was standing right in front of her naked and throbbing, if the last two encounters were anything to judge by. "ARGH!" she pounded the bed in frustration with her feet.

Normally, she was quite calm and collected. Lately, however, her sexual frustration was reaching new heights. Her personal frustration wasn't helping much either, and to top that off, her emotions were suddenly confusing as well. Closing her eyes she drew a steady, calming breath and exhaled slowly. Sexual frustration could be relieved in a number of ways, but she was determined it be with him, not with another, and definitely not alone.

"I'll think of a way, damn you" she said loudly to the ceiling.

"Think of a way for what?"

And just like that, Cullen was standing in her doorway. Briefly she closed her eyes and mouthed a thank you to the Maker.

"I would have thought you never to speak to me again, after last night and today." She knelt on the bed and placed her hands meekly in her lap. It's meekness he responds to, she told herself. She looked down and deliberately fidgeted with her hands. Meek and shy is what he needs? Meek and shy is what he'll get! She looked up at him, shyly, through her lashes and heard a satisfying intake of breath.

"Oh goodness! You're…um… in…my apologies…the door was…" he turned to leave.

"So help me Cullen, you walk out that door and I'll paralyze you!" She boomed. Forgetting everything she had just told herself.

Cullen stopped and turned around, his face matching hers, angry glare for angry glare.

"You know that casting any spells on a Templar can be punishable by death!" he hissed through his teeth, turning to shut the door, "Even threatening can get you locked up in the Circle dungeon! You mustn't say such things where it can be heard, even in jest"

She leaned forward letting out a long angry breath, trying to get her emotions under control. "I! Will! Not! Spend! Another! Sleepless! Night! Alone in this bed! With only my hands to comfort me!"

His face looked as though she slapped him and a flush started from under his armor. It spread quickly to his face and the desire and need that flashed in his eyes almost took her breath away. For one brief second he appeared to walk towards her and then he turned as if to leave.

She lashed out without thinking and warded the door.

He slowly turned, drawing his sword.