Kaname inhaled sharply as he watched her mouth work and her eyes fill and overflow. After a moment, her head slumped against his frame as she buried his face in his chest, her hot tears quickly soaking into his shirt.
Kaname caught her by her elbows before Yuuki could fall to the floor. He held her close feeling her rapid heartbeat against his chest and settled his chin on the top of her head.
Bringing one hand up, he ran his fingers through her hair slowly, knowing from long experience it soothed her when she was upset. He felt her scalding tears against his skin and waited for her to get out whatever poison which was eating her up from the inside.
Kaname's decision to offer her the choice to leave was pushed from his mind as he felt her heartbeat slow and her respiration even out. And when he felt her arms slide around his waist he smiled into her hair, delighted she wasn't standing stock-still with her hands plastered at her sides as she usually did when he embraced her.
He was lost in the moment of just being close to her. Pressing his lips to the crown of her head, he finally asked, "Please don't make you what? What was I going to say?"
Yuuki's voice was muffled as she spoke into his shirt. "You were going to tell me to leave. I don't want to, please?"
"And I don't want you to, but I won't watch you suffer anymore, especially since I am the cause. I could keep you here because of the vows we spoke to each other when we children and most of all for my own selfish reasons…"
She pulled away enough so she could look up into his eyes, her fingers clutching his sleeves.
"-because I love you and want to be near you and, yes, I want you, Yuuki," Kaname said in a fervent rush.
Yuuki felt her internal temperature rise a notch at this, shocked at his calm admission about his desires and the composed expression on his face, which was a stark contrast to his intense gaze.
He continued seeming to struggle with himself, "-so much. But you know that and that's the problem for you, isn't it? If you would feel more comfortable being away from me then you are free to go."
"Of course, my blood is always yours to take," he added in a calm voice, which said this fact wasn't in question.
Her legs felt weak and heavy and her heart slammed against her chest, making it difficult to breathe. "Onii-Kaname-sen-"
Clearing her throat with difficulty, Yuuki finally blurted, "Kaname."
His eyes widened in surprise at her drop in his honorifics and then a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Yes?"
She blew out a sigh, relieved that he was pleased at her use of only his given name and searched for words that make the last few weeks right, which would allow her to stay. He is the only thing I've ever wanted.
Even if he betrays me, I wouldn't care. All I see is him. She felt calmness wash through her that was bone-deep as she made her decision. Her eyes shifted from his luminous eyes and then to his neck and the wound she had inflicted.
"Are you hungry again?" He asked as he caught her gaze and she heard weary amusement in his tone as well as a darker undercurrent of desire.
Instead of answering, Yuuki reached up and stroked the gashes her fangs had left behind. She felt him tremble momentarily underneath her fingertips as he leaned down and held his hair aside to allow her better access to his neck.
Kaname's well-known and beloved face shattered into prisms as her eyes welled up at his offering. "No, I don't…"
She felt him startle at her words and then abruptly still when she kissed her marks on his skin, carefully laving them with her tongue. He gasped softly when the tip dipped into one of the punctures.
Yuuki stopped her ministrations at the sound, and breathing rapidly, placed her hands on his shoulders and moved into the circle of his waiting arms. I see only you, she thought with all her will.
She closed her eyes and concentrated all her attention on her fiancé, listening the tidal rush of his blood beneath her lips, the murmur of his respiration and the heat radiating off his smooth skin.
Yuuki felt something like an electric charge leaving her lips and seeping into his flesh. She could feel a shocked breath escape his chest and his hold on her waist tightened to the point of almost being painful but she continued concentrating on their point of connection, the feeling of something powerful leaving her and being transferred into Kaname's body. She barely registered a dull pain flaring on her neck.
After a few moments when only the sounds of the two embracing vampire's breathing could be heard in the room (as well as the ticking of the clock), the edges of the wounds drew closer together and finally closed completely under her lips. Nuzzling the fragrant hollow of his neck, which tempted her to the point of distraction the past fortnight, she inhaled deeply and heard him groan softly in response.
She sighed and smiled suddenly against his skin molding herself closer to his frame, but the grin turned into a look of surprise blushed furiously when she felt his erection growing against her belly and felt an answering bloom of warmth in the pit of her stomach.
She moved away slowly, training her eyes on his neck, to reassure herself that she hadn't imagined Kaname's flesh healing beneath her mouth and also as a reason to keep her eyes away from his lower body.
Though she wasn't entirely surprised, she was still awed to see the injuries were gone and were replaced by perfect white flesh on the long graceful column of his throat.
"Yuuki?" Kaname asked in a voice deeper than his normal tone, his wide in wonder. Yuuki shook her head slightly, always touched that he never showed any disappointment when she drew away from him when he became aroused.
She raised her eyes with difficulty to her brother's, the color of ancient blood, which caught hers and scanned hers for long moments. His gaze flicked to her neck and then back to her eyes again. "Thank you."
With a small sigh, he broke the spell and asked, "How did you do that? I haven't taught you how to heal."
Yuuki swallowed and tentatively brushed the pads of her fingers across one his high cheekbones, thinking of how best to answer.
At her touch, he exhaled and closed his eyes in gratitude at her small caress, pressing his face into her small hand seeking more contact.
It takes so little to make him happy and he wants me to touch him so much, Yuuki wondered in silent awe at how she could affect him.
"Tell me," he breathed, his eyes opening to reveal his eyes again.
She hesitated trying to think of how to verbalize what she had done. "I thought that if I could take away your pain and suffer it myself, I would… and somehow I knew that I… could. Is that how you did it? When you healed my wound?" She asked, referring to the time he had taken away her pain at the Ichijou's birthday party.
"Yes, but you did it so thoroughly you have the marks to prove it." He covered her hand with his and moved hers to her neck where she could feel the indentations. The same spot on her as it had been for him.
Her mouth parted in surprise and in response a minute smile appeared on his face.
"Why did you do it?" He asked, lowering his hands to her shoulders.
"Because I wanted to show you…" Yuuki answered, not able to finish her thought. She considered even this act of contrition to him wouldn't be enough to erase the hurt she had caused him. Nothing she could do or say would allow him to trust her after using him so shamelessly and going back on her word before he had left to go to the Council.
'It will be okay, Onii-sama. I will definitely return to your arms, Onii-sama…'
I'm too weak to keep my promises. All I do is hurt those I love, she thought now, covering her face in remorse.
"What, Yuuki?" Kaname lightly squeezed the delicate points of her thin shoulders as he watched her.
She lowered her hands. "How I feel. I can't lose you again."
Yuuki's chest hitched, but her words tumbled out nonetheless. "Brother, fiancé, it doesn't matter. I'm… in love with you and I don't care who you are. Can you forgive me?"
She had said all this as she stared at the carpet, knowing if she looked at his face she would lose control and start stuttering to the point of incoherency and these words were important, maybe the most important.
Long moments passed, the clock kept droning its logical, dry universe, an oblivious witness to the inhabitants of the suite.
Yuuki waited, staring at her bare toes, and instead of hearing the clock she tried to listen to the towering, silent man before her.
He wasn't entirely still, however.
She could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat and the tidal flow of his respiration with her new heightened awareness across the short distance between them. The sounds told her nothing; they seemed completely unhurried.
Yuuki finally hazarded a glance from beneath her bangs, unable to take the prolonged quiet.
Kaname wasn't looking down at her with a cold expression that told her that she wouldn't be forgiven as she had feared (and secretly thought she deserved).
Instead, he was looking away from her. She could see his profile he stared at the clock with a ghost of a smile. It didn't touch his lips. It was only a crinkling around his eyes.
Her brows creased in mystification when his eyes closed and he started speaking in a low, musical cadence, "My heart, which is your heart, sings and weeps in silence for thee. With this body, I shall comfort and worship only thee for all my days."
Yuuki went stock-still, recognition in her large luminous eyes as he continued, looking down on her face. "With gladness, I humbly offer you my blood to be your wine."
In her minds-eye, she saw the face of the man before her become younger, his lean cheeks becoming fuller with boyish softness, the way he had looked when he had whispered the same words to her when they were children.
She spoke the final verse, her high voice blending harmoniously with Kaname's deeper tone. "Forsaking all others, I give my life, eternal, to thee, my beloved."
Kaname exhaled deeply and lowered his forehead to rest upon hers. "There is nothing to forgive."
Yuuki's respiration became low and even as her gaze was dragged into the dark pools of his eyes. "Onii-sama, Kaname," she murmured, "You, always you."
At the hopeful, almost fragile, smile that appeared on his face at her words, she tilted face upward and pressed her lips to his. She was forcibly reminded of how familiar the smooth texture of his lips was against her own from the kisses she had shared with him so long ago.
Back then, it had been because of hunger for his life force, a need for nourishment, but now as she pressed her mouth more firmly against the supple curve of his lips, she realized even then it had been more. Yuuki had almost never sought out her parents for sustenance unless Kaname was absent. She hadn't been hungry for food but for him.
Another revelation bloomed in her mind and it was so simple she didn't question the truth of it. Despite all of her doubts of the past fortnight towards her brother and the nature of their relationship, she had sought Kaname for her need to drink. It had been an excuse, really. The artificial blood would have sustained her, though tasteless and uninteresting, but she realized the simple truth was that she couldn't resist being near him.
With this realization in mind, what started as a chaste kiss, quickly became humid and sensual when Yuuki traced her tongue along the seam of Kaname's lips, moistening it. In response, Kaname released a breathy moan against her lips and slid his tongue past her fangs to massage hers in turn.
So good, she thought in a daze as her arms slipped around his narrow waist and she became aware that his hands had moved from her shoulders and were working restlessly in her hair as he probed each fragrant crevice of her mouth. He drew back a little encouraging her to do the same and was pleased when she did so tentatively at first and then with growing confidence.
Kaname placed his hands on her shoulders and moved away, panting lightly. He smiled inwardly at the look of disappointment evident on her down turned mouth, which he noted with pleasure was reddened and swollen from his eager ministrations.
Yuuki cast her eyes downward in confusion. "Did I do something wrong?"
He placed his hands on her temples and lifted her head firmly upwards as he lowered his to her eye level. "It was wonderful," he assured her in a whisper.
Flushing deeply, Yuuki asked in a timid voice, "Oh… then why-?"
Kaname laid a finger on her lips to quiet her and watched her speculatively for a moment. "I stopped because I wanted to ask if you would be willing to do something for me." He removed his finger and though she couldn't see any nervousness in his serene features, his posture seemed tense.
"I want to please you, Onii-sama." Yuuki blushed deeper, if that was possible and added shyly, "Tell me how I can start."
"The sun is rising," he stated. Yuuki held her breath at the red flicker of desire that shone in his eyes. "Will you share your bed with me?"
Yuuki's met his gaze as calmly as she could at his calm request but she felt her head spinning lightly. She felt sweat pop out on her on her face as she considered the full meaning of his request. She decided to avoid giving him her answer for the moment to calm herself. "But it's your bed…"
"I had considered it 'ours', but you know quite well it has been 'yours' since you have come here," he interjected smoothly.
Yuuki flinched despite the complete lack of accusation in his tone. He was right. She had had scurried off to the master bedroom and the magnificent bed it contained before sunrise each day since she had moved in. She had never told him not to enter, but of course she hadn't needed to given her distant behavior towards him. He had slept on the graceful Victorian couch and she had felt another twinge of guilt at ousting him from his luxurious bed, though he hadn't shown any signs of discomfort at the sleeping arrangement.
Yuuki now focused on the gentle expression on his, face knowing he probably was guessing most of what was going on in her mind and felt a strange calmness fill her as she realized that she was stalling needlessly. I will do anything for you.
Out loud, she answered him in a voice that vibrated only slightly from emotion. "Yes, Onii-sama."
Kaname plucked her hand from her waist and brought it to his face, rubbing it against his cheek before he kissed the center of her palm. "You've made me so happy," he murmured, his lips brushing against her skin.
"I want to make you happy," Yuuki echoed, transfixed by his eyes over her hand, seeking hers, looking for hesitation.
Seeing none, he dropped her hand and lifted her slight frame up with ease, his arms supporting her shoulders and knees. Yuuki realized dimly that this was the way a bride was carried to her bedroom for the first time, and though she felt some nervousness at losing her virginity, the same peace pervaded her being.
A sense of wonder filled her as this is the last way she would have expected this evening to end, given her confusion and misery a few hours ago. She laid her head on Kaname's broad shoulder and pushed the door open with the toe of his shoe.
Kaname lowered her on to the bed gently and brushed his lips across her forehead before walking off to an imposing wardrobe and pulling open one of the drawers.
Yuuki watched him curiously as he pulled out something dark and laid it at the foot of the bed. Her cheeks burned again as she saw him undoing his shirt with his back to her, the sleek muscles of his back revealed to her as he pushed it off his shoulders, despite the dimness of the room.
Her breath speeded up at the sight of his perfectly sculpted form, but he seemed unaware as he folded the shirt neatly and placed it on the wardrobe. Her admiration of his body turned to tension when he began unbuckling his belt with a muted chink.
She shifted restlessly on the top of the coverlet and wondered whether she should turn away.
Hearing her, he turned his head over his shoulder and gave her brief rueful smile before making his way to the bathroom with his garment. Yuuki sighed in relief although she realized it was silly of her to be so prim when she was going to see all of him very soon, but she had to smile at his consideration of her nervousness.
Kaname returned from the bathroom with only a pair of sooty silk pajama bottoms, which she noticed with a suddenly dry mouth, moved fluidly over his angular hips as he walked towards the bed.
He sat down on the bed and gazed at her silently. Yuuki did her best to keep her eyes on his face instead of staring at his naked midsection and the contrast his pale skin made against the dark silk, making it almost glow.
She fidgeted and wondered if his perusal was his way of asking her to do something and she suddenly felt insecure about her lack of experience.
After a mental debate, she raised her upper body off the bed and extended an arm above her head to begin ridding herself of her nightgown but she was stopped when Kaname's hands caught both of her wrists.
Placing them at her midsection, he released them, and hugged her tightly. "Yuuki, I said 'share your bed', not 'make love to you'."
"But… I thought that's what you wanted, brother," Yuuki asked in a wavering voice.
Kaname didn't miss her emphasis on the last word and though he was pleased at her acceptance of him as both a brother and lover, he shook his head. "You have come so far tonight. You don't have to come all the way."
He smiled as her arms circled his waist and buried his face in her hair. "It would be good to lie down beside you. I've missed it."
Yuuki nodded, tears filling her eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time during the course of the evening. "Me, too," she agreed, recalling how many times she had climbed into Kaname's bed as a girl and fell asleep in his arms. She realized she was weary physically and had been soul-sick for too long for it to be the right time to give herself completely to Kaname, despite losing her doubts. She felt a wave of love for him because he had understood that.
Kaname kissed the top of her head and moved from her, stretching out on his side on the enormous bed, a small smile on his face as he patted the covers in invitation. Yuuki returned his smile and realized that seeing it was a rare but heart-stopping site and maybe now she would see it more. She took the position opposite him so she could lay her head against his chest, but Kaname leaned forward and whispered, "Why don't you turn around?"
Yuuki hesitated, and then complied, turning her back on him as she laid her head down into the goose-down pillow.
She felt Kaname move closer, snaking his arm beneath her pillow and bringing his long body into full contact with her much smaller one. She felt a brief rise in temperature as she registered his other arm coming to rest on her belly and his hard thighs cradling her bottom, but she relaxed when she felt him breathe into her ear, "Go to sleep, Yuuki."
"Goodnight, Onii-sama," she muttered, her voice already furry with sleep. Yuuki placed her hand over his and fell almost immediately into the first deep slumber she had in weeks.
Kaname fought his own exhaustion for a while longer. He inhaled the clean scent of Yuuki's hair and reveled at how right she felt in his arms, but eventually his eyes closed of their own accord.
"Beloved," he sighed before sleep claimed him entirely.