Characters: Kirk, Sulu, McCoy, with appearances by Spock and Giotto


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KLINGONS AND SWEET POTATOES

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A temporary truce has been called in the kitchen.

The hot oil has been cleaned up. Sulu and Dr. McCoy are working at the same prep counter under the hawk like gaze of one of the kitchen managers. While Kirk is sitting in the corner peeling potatoes and muttering under his breath.

"Can't believe this. It's like some crappy 20th century army movie." Kirk says, raking the peeler over an extra large spud with more force than is strictly necessary. "Peeling fucking potatoes."

"Mashed potatoes are an important part of Thanksgiving dinner, Jim." McCoy says rummaging through his pile of ingredients. "Someone's got to peel them."

"Yeah, but why me? It's not like the fryer melting was my fault."

"I'm actually kinda glad we're cooking the turkey the old fashioned way now." Sulu says opening an oven to check on its progress. He uses a long spoon to scoop up and pour drippings over the top of the bird. It's coming along nicely. "This way we get to have real stuffing. It always tastes better when it's actually cooked inside."

"But we're still going to make non-turkeyfied baked stuffing right?" Kirk asks, looking up from his peeling. "I want Spock to try some and he can't eat it if it's got turkey juice in it."

"Dude, I've got that covered." Sulu grabs a carton of mushroom broth and a bag of bread crumbs and holds them up so Kirk can see. "When we get to making gravy I'm going to make some from a mushroom base and then use the rest of the broth for the baked stuffing. This menu is totally Vulcan friendly."

"Except for the actual turkey and the scalloped oysters." McCoy says, finally finding what he was looking for.

"Scalloped oysters?" Kirk gives the CMO a questioning look. His face brightens when he sees what McCoy has found. "Mini Marshmallows! Toss that my way Bones."

"Scalloped oysters are traditional in my family," McCoy says, ripping the marshmallow bag open. "And these are for the casserole, not for you."

"What kind of casserole has marshmallows in it?" Sulu asks, leaning in to look.

"Sweet potato casserole." McCoy looks very pleased with himself as he says this. Kirk's head pops up over the doctor's shoulder as he begins to pour the marshmallows over his nearly complete dish.

"Bones..." Kirk whines as he watches the little white puffs of sugar cover the orange colored slices of tuber. "I can't believe you're ruining perfectly good marshmallows like that!"

"I can't believe he's ruining perfectly good sweet potatoes like that." Sulu counters.

"I'm going to bash both your heads against a wall if you don't shut up." McCoy grabs his casserole dish and inserts it into a waiting oven. "And don't think I'll go easy on you either! I'm a doctor, I can crack your skulls as much as I want and then fix you up later. When you're good an sorry!"

Kirk raises his hands in surrender and grins disarmingly. He opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the overhead comm.

"Bridge to the Mess."

"Spock?" Kirk says just as the klaxons go to red alert.

"Captain, your presence is requested on the Bridge. Three birds of prey have decloaked to our aft." The ship jerks sharply, sending the three men sprawling against kitchen equipment.

"On my way!" Kirk yells, then turns to point at Sulu. "Come with me. Bones, prepare Med-Bay for incoming."

"Don't have to tell me twice." McCoy snaps as they take off running.

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Nearly two hours later Sulu, Kirk and Spock are standing with the head of Security watching through a one-way window as two lieutenants attempt to interrogate their only Klingon prisoner. He's the lone survivor from the one bird of prey they'd managed to destroy. The other two having escaped by warping through a nearby nebula. The interrogation isn't going well.

"This isn't working." Kirk sighs, running his hands down his face. "We've been at this for over half an hour and he hasn't even blinked."

"These things take time, Captain." Lieutenant Commander Giotto says.

"We might not have much time. We're not in Federation space but we're damn close. I need to know what those three ships were doing out here." Kirk turns to Spock. "I don't like asking this but do you think you could get it out of him with a mind meld?"

"Melding with a conscious, non-consenting sentient being is tantamount to rape. This is not a combat situation. Star Fleet regulations on the treatment of prisoners are very clear on this point, Captain."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"What if we-" Sulu doesn't get to finish his thought because Dr. McCoy chooses that moment to storm into the observation room. He's holding something black and rectangular in shape which gives off the scent of burnt sugar.

"Klingon's won't attack, my ass." He growls making his way toward the entrance to the interrogation room. "I'll be expecting gravity to kick it any second now. Fucking space."

"Bones, how are things in Med-Bay?" Kirk asks sounding a little unsure of the situation at hand.

"Everyone lived, no grievous injuries." McCoy snaps. He slams his hand on the door controls, enters his medical override when the computer prompts him, then storms into the interrogation room. The lieutenants look up in shock.

"He can't... do that..." Giotto says as McCoy sends his interrogation team scrambling.

"It appears that he can." Spock replies. They all watch as McCoy drops the blackened dish on the table just short of crushing the Klingon's hands. The clear aluminum dish crashes loudly on the metal surface but doesn't break.

The doctor places his closed fists on either side of the dish and leans forward, his face inches away from the prisoner's.

"Do you know what this is?" He asks. His voice is soft and deep, certain death frozen solid. "It's a sweet potato casserole. My great grandmother's own recipe. It's not supposed to look like this. Do you know why it looks like this?"

The four men watch silently as the CMO continues to speak, staring down a Klingon, voice smooth like a razor blade brushing over silk. Sulu half notices their jaws going slack in the reflection of the one-way window, all except Spock whose eyebrow has completely disappeared under his hair.

At some point Giotto leans down toward the ensign operating the control panel, his eyes never leaving the scene playing out in the interrogation room and says in a low voice, "We're recording this, right?"

"Yes, sir." The ensign whispers back in awe.

"Fuck," Kirk says, "I didn't know Klingons could cry."


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