Ta-da! It's been a while since an update on this fic. Hope you enjoy. Thank you to all the wonderful much loved reviewers: shinigami sakura 2000, takers dark lover, TVL, DK, Esha, HBKShawnMichaelsDX, TakerTakeMe, xMayhemx, Souless, and Animal Luvr 4 Life, thank you all! :D

Death to Het

Chapter 5: The Rescue Part 1

With a crazy glimmer dancing in Jeffs' green eyes he pressed the knife harder drawing a yelp from both Miz and Morrison and…who else was screaming? Jeff stepped back in surprise when Maria flew down the stairs shrieking wildly. She grabbed het Morrison and hid behind him.

"What the hell is going on!" Het Miz wanted to know. Maria opened her mouth to answer but her reply was cut off by a thunderous bang from upstairs. Jeff narrowed his eyes at her and drew the knife away from slash Morrisons' face.

"Maria, what's going on?"

"They're here!" She sobbed. "They're trying to get in!"

Het Miz and Morrison raced up the stairs and through the house finding het Matt already dragging a dresser to barricade the door that was starting to splinter. The two of them grabbed furniture and helped Matt in his efforts to keep whoever was on the other side of the door out. Matt sighed and wiped sweat from his brow, some of his dark curls frizzed out around his face. Morrison went to the window and peeked cautiously between the slats of the blinds. His eyes grew wide when he saw several slash musi on the porch and using Festus as a battering ram.

"They found out we have our slash selves!" Morrison chewed on his lip wondering what to do next.

Outside on the porch Shawn ordered Mark, Glen, Cody, and Ted to take Fesuts aka the battering ram to the back door and try there. Meanwhile he and Hunter were trying to come up with alternate ways to get into the house should the back door also be barricaded.

"Oh I know!" Slash Matt clapped in excitement when an idea came to him. His brother crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him wondering what stupidity he had came up with this time. "We can burn the house down!" He was answered with a slap in the back of his head from slash Jeff who glared daggers at him.

"NO!" The rest of the slash musi all shouted at once putting a damper on Matt's plan.

"Maybe we can find a window." Slash Randy suggested. Everyone looked around at the windows on the house and noticed that they were all barred. The musi exchanged confused glances wondering just why the windows were all barred. As if sensing the questions Matt piped up again with explanation.

"Ya'll wanna know why the windows are barred? Well if the het musi are in some ways similar to us then het Matt is afraid that pirates will come through his windows and steal him away and make him their bitch cabin boy. But it's not all his fault. Jeff is afraid that robbers will come through the windows and steal his secret stash of dru--"

"Gummy bears." Jeff interrupted pinching his brother to make him shut up. "If het Jeff is anything like me then he's afraid people will steal his gummy bears."

The other slash musi just stared and a few shook their heads.

"Well what did ya'll think I had stashed away?" Jeff replied indignantly. "I'm takin' lessons from Punk on how to be straight edge." Several slash musi including Punk laughed. Jeff pouted.

"We're getting off track here." Shawn reminded everyone as he turned back to the notebook, raising eyebrows in surprise when he saw Hunters devious plan to get into the house. He lowered his voice and said to Hunter: "I didn't know you knew how to make bombs."

"I make bombs all the time. I plant them in Vince's office…but they never seem to work. I think Gremlins live in his office and they screw with my creations." Hunter scowled and shook his fist at the sky and shouted. "Damn Gremlins!"

"Wha?" Punk wondered looking at JBL for answers. He just shrugged.

"Never mind." Shawn said waving his hand in dismissal. "What about a basement window? Maybe we can find a basement window or…maybe…if we can get Rey to come over we can get him down the chimney. He's small."

At the back door Glen and Taker were arguing again. Ted and Cody taunted Festus while he stood idle on the steps with flies buzzing in and out of his gaping mouth.

Het Matt, Miz, and Morrison had already shoved the refrigerator in front of the back door so trying to break it down with the impact of Festus's skull was useless. They had also boarded all the basement windows so when the slash musi tried that route they found it also cut off. Hunter still thought his bomb idea was good but Matt argued that if he couldn't burn the house down then Hunter shouldn't be able to bomb the house down.

That's why slash Rey found Shawn Michaels calling his cell phone and interrupting his trip at the spa with Batista. They were supposed to be one of the search parties out looking for Miz and Morrison but when Batista saw a spa he got distracted and dragged Rey after him.

"Hola!" Rey answered his phone. "Wait…huh…I can't hear you…my exfoliating cucumber-melon cream is clogging the phone." He wiped his gooey phone on Dave's towel and tried again. "Ah, mi amigo Shawn Michaels! You found them? Oh no Dave and I didn't get distracted by anything…please believe me I take this mission to heart."

"Good then." Shawn said gruffly. "We need you here at the het Hardy's house. We need to get in and right now we're looking at sending you down the chimney."

Rey frowned. The thought of breaking into someones house via chimney was less appealing than staying here in the spa with Dave. They were already scheduled for pedicures later on and Rey hated to miss it. Dave had beautiful toes and slash Rey secretly lusted after them. But he had made a commitment to Shawn and his war against the het musi and everyone knows Rey Mysterio is a man of his word.

"Alright." Rey sighed. "I am on my way. Adios!"

Rey plucked the slices of cucumber away from the eyeholes of his mask, stole Dave's towel, and wiped the cream from his mask. He ran his fingers over it pleased.

"Hey Dave, feel my mask." Rey found Dave's hand and brought the fingertips to it.

"Ooh, soft as a baby's ass." Dave replied.

"Mi amigo es muy loco." Rey mumbled under his breath. "Who would touch a baby's ass? Please believe me, I wouldn't."

"Did you get them away?" Het Jeff barked as Matt came down the stairs looking frazzled.

"They're still outside but I don't see how else they can get in." Matt collapsed onto the bottom step and held his chin in his hand. "This is worse than pirates coming through the windows."

Jeff nodded his agreement.

"But what is even worse that pirates is going to be JoMo's face." Jeff leered and carved the letter 'J' into slash Morrisons' cheek as he cried. Slash Miz rambled on encouraging his lover to be strong.

"Shut him up!" Jeff bellowed as Miz yelled louder and louder distracting Jeff from carving his 'N' next to the 'J'.

"What am I supposed to do!" Matt griped storming over to his brother.

"Oh I don't know." Het Jeff spat sarcastically. "You had no trouble thinking of ways to try to kill me."

"It's just a storyline." Matt rolled his dark eyes.

"But we are musi, what is kayfabe to our real selves is truth to us. Our lives take on whatever twists and turns the writers have for us. When they're not using us we can actually go about our own business, but that doesn't mean what they wrote with us goes away."

"I'm confused." Matt said scratching his head.

"Just get on with it!" Jeff snarled.

"So…what we're doing right now. Are we in a story or is this just us doing stuff in our free time?"

"Matt, quit trying to think. It's detrimental to your health."

"How?"

"Because I'm going to maim you!" Jeff hollered waving the bloody knife at his brother. Matt grumped as he searched for something to do to Miz. He found a small t.v. in the storage closet of the basement and dragged it out and blew dust from the screen. He plugged in it and flipped around until a smirk curved his lips.

"Perfect." Matt said leaving the t.v. in front of Miz. He found duct tape and taped his eyelids open so he was forced to watch the program Matt had selected.

"What is it?" Jeff asked curiously.

"Mary Poppins marathon."

Pleased, Jeff carved the last letter onto Morrisons' cheek leaving his initials in crimson: JNH. Jeff and Matt laughed as slash Miz and Morrisons' screams mingled together.

So will the slash musi get into the house? Will Taker and Kane ever stop arguing? Will Hunter get to build his bomb? Rofl. Will Rey ever get to have his fantasy with Dave's toes? Teehee. Review please and thanks!! Mucho love!