Disclaimer-I Own neither Naruto or Bleach

Just as Kenpachi was about to open the cage he was stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist. The hand was soon joined by another as the former captain and The blonde were sent flying across the room. The sound of footsteps was soon heard as both look towards the person who flung them. Neither expected the assailant to be a beautiful redheaded woman standing at 5'6" with her hair we reaching her waist, shining emerald eyes, firm breasts that had to be at least a C cup,bare long slender legs, all packed into a hospital gown. The only thing that scared them was the angry glare she was directing at Kenpachi.

"Who the hell are you woman and why did you start me from opening that cage I wanted to fight that giant beast in there!" Kenpachi said returning the glad to the woman.

"I should be asking you that especially since you're trying to kill my little boy Naruto by releasing that monstrosity over there." She said pointing to the Kyuubi right behind her who was now even more pissed that his latest escape plan was foiled it by this newcomer.

"I too would like to know the identity of the person who ruined my escape plan even if they are sexy woman." Kyuubi said with anger and lust in his voice.

"Yeah me too and what do you mean by my little boy." Naruto said adding his two cents in the conversation.

"Oh sweetie I know it's been years but surely must recognize me your beloved, and beautiful mother Kushina Uzumaki." Kushina said as she hugged Naruto forcing his head into her firm chest while also cutting off his circulation.

"Well that's nice and all but I need to get back to opening up that cage now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to work."Kenpachi said as he began walking back towards the cage.

Realizing he was about to continue the task Kushina leapt forward releasing her son from her death grip She tackled Kenpachi to the ground sending him face first again into the metal bars.

"Oh no you don't buddy boy I just finished telling you that if you do that it would kill my sweet little baby Naruto and I won't allow you to do you to do that Mr. jingle jangle." Kushina said while Standing on top of him and shaking his head causing his bells to jingle getting a few laughs from Naruto and Kyuubi.

After Naruto stop snickering he walked over to Kushina with a serious look on his face and looked her right in the eye asked. "Why? If you're my mother and why did you allow the fourth Hokage to seal the Kyuubi inside of me and do you know the loneliness I've had to deal with because of that monster the angry stares, parents keeping their kids away from me, half the people didn't even knowledge my existence like I was nothing now you tell me why would you let the fourth Hokage do this to me!"

After hearing this Kushina began to tear up and gave a loving hug to her son. "Oh no I can't believe this was done we hope surely which your father's name and his skills as a legendary seal Master of people would love you as we hoped they would. I can't believe it if I would've known this I never would've let your father seal Mr. red fluffy buns inside you."

"Wait I thought the fourth sealed the Kyuubi inside of me? You don't mean, no it can't be, the old man would've told me if he was." Naruto said as he began to get lost in just what Kushina had just told him.

Seeing the doubt on his face Kushina smiled and answered the question that was on his mind. "Yes Naruto the fourth Hokage, a.k.a. The yellow flash, better known as Minato Namikaze is your father. Although if the old man is the person who I think he is I wonder why he didn't tell you this earlier? He'd better have had good reason otherwise when he kicks the bucket I'm going to kick him in the crotch hard!"

After hearing this both Naruto and Kyuubi covered their private areas for mental and physical protection. Kenpachi would've covered in this except that Kushina was still on top of him.

"Well this is nice and all but the mind getting off of me red." Kenpachi said with a irritated growl.

" Oh, ha ha my bad." Kushina said while getting off of him and scratching the back of her head. "Now where were we? Ah, yes your father sealed to Kyuubi into you Naruto because he had faith in the villagers and Sarutobi to look after his son."

Accepting her answer Naruto asked his next question that was on his mind."Hey mom I was wondering how exactly are you here anyway?"

"Oh that, well after the grueling eight hours of labor you gave me." Kushina started while giving a glare to Naruto that sent chills up the spine. "I lost a lot of blood plus the stress of having the Kyuubi attacking the village weakened my body to the point where the doctors could no longer help me your father came to me and told me what he was planning. I won't bore you with the details but we both knew that there might be a chance someone trying to influence you into removing the Seal so we came up with a plan to stop that from happening. Your father put my soul into a Seal that was put on your blanket this Seal would make a second defense in case someone else tried to remove the main Seal. Also it would allow me to appear as I am now to help you out in case that happened. But that still leaves who Mr. scarred face over here is. So who are you anyway?"

"I'm Capt. Kenpachi Zaraki leader of the 11th division the strongest division also known as the Zaraki squad and I am a Shinigami." The captain said as he saw Naruto and Kushina backing away the cage that held the Kyuubi. "What Up with you two?" Kenpachi asked while looking at that two now scared Uzumaki members.

Fear was evident on the face of the two Uzumaki's faces as they literally looked dead right in the face.

"Um Mr. Shinigami, sir you're not here to take my soul to the underworld are you?" The Uzumaki's said they cowered near the cage containing the Kyuubi.

"So Shinigami huh?Just because you sealed me in doesn't mean I let you finish the job bring on you son of a bitch!" Kyuubi said his eyes glowing red and baring his fangs.

"I didn't put you in here idiot! I think you have me confused with the other guy you know purple faced, grey robe, white hair, sharp teeth, has a cool knife though" Kenpachi said while stroking his chin trying to remember more about the false Shinigami.

"Wait a minute, if you're not the one who see it the Kyuubi in me then you must not be a real Shinigami then so just who the hell are you?" Naruto said as he pointed an accusing finger at Kenpachi.

Getting irritated Kenpachi walked over to Naruto lifted him up to his face and said"Listen here short man I already told you who I am. Besides the purple guy said that there was more than one type of Shinigami well that's basically what he said anyway."

Seeing her child in danger Kushina acted quickly removing her hospital gown twisting it so it was reminiscent of a whip. Running forward she tackled Kenpachi to the ground and began to hogtie him with her gown and caught Naruto before he hit the ground.

"Oh my poor baby did not mean man hurt you?" Kushina said as she held her son's head to her naked bosom suffocating and embarrassing him.

"Hey untie me you crazy bitch!" Kenpachi yelled as Kushina was again standing on top of him.

"Oh yeah that's what Kyuubi likes, shake it baby."These were the ramblings of the Kyuubi as he watched the spectacle before him especially taking in the nakedness of Kushina.

"Hey fuzz butt stopped checking out my mom and can you please put some clothes on mother." Naruto said angrily as he finally escaped the mounds of his mother.

Her motherly fury dying down Kushina realized her state of undress and simply shrugged. "Listen son, I'm a Kunoichi therefore I have to use everything at my disposal to do my job. Besides I'm hot and sexy so I have nothing to worry about just like I told little Anko that girl is going places. But I digress Naruto listen because Mr. cute little child attacker here we don't have as much time as we could have." Kushina said as she glared at Kenpachi. "Your father believed that someone was behind the Kyuubi attack he didn't know who but from what he could tell the attack was only the beginning. Your father and I both have faith in you to stop whatever this person has planned."

"Sounds like a good fight to me I'm in." Kenpachi said grinning ear to ear.

"This is a family moment so just stay down and keep quiet!" Kushina yelled as she stomped Kenpachi's head into the ground with her foot.

"Mom I don't know if I can do this, I mean I wasn't the best student in class, I barely know any Jutsu, I'm not that smart, and I completely suck at Genjutsu so how on earth by supposed to stop this person if they can control the Kyuubi." The young blonde said as he lost more and more faith in himself.

"Hey, nobody controls meI'm the fuckin Kyuubi no Kitsune, all cower before me and my sexy evilness." Kyuubi Said as his anger rose at being called somewhat of a pet.

"Everyone except dad and the Shinigami that is." Naruto said mockingly to the giant beast.

Laughing out loud Kushina spoke between giggles. "Good one son. Now as for your skills don't worry I wasn't the best of my time either but I grew to the great Kunoichi you see today. Also I'm so proud of you sucking at Genjutsu, the Uzumaki blood must run strong in you. We Uzumaki don't need no fancy illusions missions or good chakra control, we'll just send giant water dragons, water sharks, and water kitty's at our problems. Also what do you mean you barely know any Jutsu?!"

Panicking Naruto explains."It's not my thoughts Kakashi sensei didn't really teach me much except tree walking."

"Okay but what about your godfather Jiraiya surely he taught you something." Kushina asked.

"I have a godfather!" Naruto shouted shock evident on his face.

"What you didn't know that either! Okay now that makes three people whose asses are going to have a foot enema courtesy of me." Kushina said feminine fury rising once again. "Naruto your godfather was supposed to watch out for you after we were gone but apparently he wasn't doing his job, dirty old perv probably was trying to get laid. Anyway he is one of the legendary three Sannin the toad Sage he was also your fathers teacher, he's easy to find in a crowd even easier in a bathhouse. He's a big guy with long white hair, a wart on his nose, wears kabuki clothing and please, please do not allow him to perform his introductory dance you'll thank me later. Find him and force him to train you if he doesn't agree just tell him he'll tell everyone you know about the peanut butter and the gerbil incident."

"What the hell can happen put peanut butter in a terrible?" Naruto asked him confused.

"Dammit boy I told you about this already, remember how me and Gobi tortured the mermaid king into surrendering by spreading peanut butter on his ass hole and then we let a demonic gerbil have at him, ah yes, good times I remember also trying that on Nibi with a normal gerbil." Kyuubi said while reminiscing about the past.

Everyone just stared at Kyuubi after he made that statement slightly disturbed at the things he has done.

"Well anyway just tell him that and you should get your training you need to become strong Naruto stronger than your father even if you have to use the power of fuzz butt to do it. And remember Naruto your not only a Namikaze your an Uzumaki also." Kushina said proudly.

"Thanks mom I'll remember it always." Naruto said tears in his eyes.

"Enough's enough when are you going to get off of me women?" Kenpachi said getting fed up with the whole naked woman standing on top of him situation.

"Fine fine." Kushina said as she got off of him. "Happy now."

"That's better now it seems to me that shorty over here needs all the help he can get so I'm gonna help him even if that means if I have to make the sacrifice of fighting many strong opponents, giant animals and other crazy shit this world has." Kenpachi said happily.

"How can you possibly help me with anything?" Naruto asked not knowing of how foolish his question was.

Getting angry Kenpachi released some of his Reiatsu causing both the Uzumaki's to fall to the ground using his immense strength he escaped his bindings. "Listen here punk even though my overall skills were the lowest of the captains I've more than made up for it using just my raw power so keep quiet and listen to what I have to say."Lowering his Reiatsu Kenpachi helped the two up.

"Okay you can help." Mother and son said fearing for their lives.

"Good now that we've reached an understanding tell me why the hell are you two fading away?" Asked Kenpachi while pointing at Kushina.

Looking at each other Naruto and Kushina realized they were slowly fading away. Naruto was slowly starting to disappear beginning with his hair while Kushina was becoming completely transparent.

"Well it looks like we're just about out of time Naruto your headed back to the real world while I am going to rejoin the real Kushina in the afterlife, remember what I've told you and good luck." Kushina said as she gave her son one last hug.

"Wait woman I would like to give you a gift that very a few have ever received . You shall be the first human in 600 years to experience the Kyuubi Twister. Kyuubi said with pride waiting for Kushina to come closer and accept his gift.

Kenpachi and Kushina looked at Kyuubi questioningly while Naruto became red with rage. "Damn you Kyuubi! How dare you even think about doing that to my mother." Naruto yelled.

"Hey I get lonely in here, do you know how long it's been since I've been with a female of any kind even you pathetic humans. Besides she might just enjoy I haven't heard any complaints so far."

"That's because you were choking them." Was Naruto's reply.

"Okay this is getting annoying just tell us what the hell this Kyuubi Twister is already." Kenpachi asked getting annoyed once again with the bickering of these strange and annoying people.

"Fine listen well mortals so you should one day tell your descendents of my legendary pleasure technique the move that brings all female this to Nirvana." Kyuubi began.

"Get On With It Already!" All three occupants yelled at the great beast.

"Okay okay geez you're excuse me for trying to line up your miserable pathetic lives. This move is only accomplishable by someone of my stature and greatness. Using my third, fifth, and seventh tails I insert them in a triple helix formation in the pussy of my current lover or rape victim whatever the case may be. While simultaneously inserting my first, fourth, and ninth tails into their ass. Using my second and eighth tails I massage their breast while shoving my sixth tail down their throat. Twisting the tails gives immense pleasure to them causing them to cum. Afterwords they passed out and you're free to do whatever the hell you want to their body." Kyuubi finished within a nostalgic look upon his face.

Everyone just looked at Kyuubi with some utter disgust upon their faces trying to process just who in the hell could enjoy such treatment. Looking at each other they nodded their head's and shouted. "Your Sick!"

"Oh sure I am the sick one. Was just exactly how many moves do you guys have named after you?" Kyuubi replied slightly angry.

The responses were not what he was expecting "none, seven, thirteen."

Still disturbed Kushina gave him some parting words to everyone. "Naruto three final things you need to know, don't trust anyone over 40, please don't follow Jiraiya's family motto, and I want lots and lots of grandchildren at least one named after me if I doesn't meet when he's famous enough."

"Mom what is Jiraiya's family motto?" Naruto asked quizzically.

"Hooters Hooters Hooters Yum Yum Yum, Hooters Hooters Hooters on a girl that's dumb. Now Kenpachi I want you to be sure to look after my baby or your ass well be the fourth one my foot greets in the afterlife. As for you Kyuubi I have only one thing to say you are the most..... ." those were the final words of Kushina Uzumaki as she faded out of existence.

"Well seeing as she's gone I think I better finish her sentence unleash what she was trying to say was that I am the most beautiful male specimen she has ever seen."Kyuubi said ignoring the slight sweatshops forming on the back of Naruto and Kenpachi's heads.

"Well that was fun but now how the hell do we get at here if I'm going to start your training?" Kenpachi asked as he can to his head to look at the boy who was no longer there." Oh great now he's gone now what we did?"

"Allow me to tell you that tale of how I got my rank I was born in a den made of the bones of ….." Kyuubi began but was soon interrupted.

"Not interested I'm taking a nap." Kenpachi said as he lied down and began to snore.

(Outside the Seal Konaha Hot Spring)

Jiraiya was still slapping Naruto attempting to awaken him but the boy refused to rise." Wake up, wake up I say, you've got to be crazy if you think I'm going to let old man Sarutobi find out I killed Minato's son." Jiraiya yelled shaking and slapping Naruto attempt to save his own ass.

Naruto feeling pain and vibrations through his body finally opened his eyes and saw the face Jiraiya.

"Oh my God he's alive, he's alive and that means I can continue my research and book!" Jiraiya screamed to the heavens.

Standing up Naruto stared at the strange man whooping and hollering until he realized his state of undress. "What happened to my clothes! Why am I naked! Oh my God this must be what they were talking about could happen at the Academy. I knew my good looks, smooth skin, baby blue eyes, and perfect butt would eventually get me into trouble but not like this." Naruto stammered as he realized just whom this old man was and yelled the appropriate two words. " HELP PEDOPHILE!"

Chapter end

There now another chapter done the next one will probably come out when I'm on my vacation as I won't need as much sleep. I'd like to give thanks to the following people for their suggestions

for body parings and remember I need more bodies

Majin Hentai X

Samuramon

backdragonfire

gameroy