Cullen and Aerowena –Chapter 13 – What is More Terrifying? Embarrasment or Blood Magic?

He'd been to the Circle to be with her. His guilt had overwhelmed him these months and he just needed absolution or some atonement. He realized that the night she said she loved him, or implied it anyhow. He couldn't accept anything like love after he'd killed three innocent people. So he'd been to see the First and lay in wait for their judgment. But it appeared his joining of the Wardens was atonement enough. He felt a small measure of guilt release and all he could think about was coming home, to her, to the possibility of her.

And then she'd stood there, everything he'd been terrified of at the Tower and everything he'd learned was dangerous and forbidden lay exposed.

Cullen stood there in stunned silence while Callie picked up the knife and laid it on the desk. "Things aren't so black and white, Cullen." she sighed heavily, "Maybe they never were. Has it occurred to you the Chantry might be wrong about a lot of things?"

Yes, dammit, it had occurred to him. He wasn't a clueless idiot, despite what some may think. "Blood magic, though, Callie. It's everything we were taught and more. I've seen it."

"I've seen it too, Cullen. Lest you forget I've been with her months longer than you. She isn't them. She's smarter and stronger and she has so much compassion."

"How long…? Who?" He couldn't get the right question out.

"It doesn't matter. Don't you get it?" She sounded fed up. "She did what she had to do, to save the world. And from most of what I hear, she did a lot she didn't have to do." Callie leaned against the table and crossed her arms. "All these months she's wanted you; wearing one disastrous dress after another, spending far too much time preparing scents than practicing magic, as she should. She's had that magic at her finger tips. Magic that could control you, that's for certain. If she was dangerous, she could have used it the night you left, or hundreds of times before that. Think about that before you go about judging people blindly."

Watching her walk out the door Cullen couldn't get the words out of his head. 'Could have controlled you'. She could have, he realized. And she never had.

Tonight Aerowena was determined to look like a queen. She'd keep her head held high and brush off any accusing looks he cared to give. She picked out a dress of pure silver with white fur edging. The sleeves were long to hide her arms, but they came off the shoulder and flared magnificently. She tied a brocade white belt around her hips and slipped on a pair of blue slippers Leliana had left for her. Tonight she would stand proud and armored. She'd even worn her hair up with pearls encircling the bun. At some point she realized she was dressing for herself and not him for the first time in months. She was armoring herself with the one thing she knew dazzled the world. Dazzle them with her beauty and they couldn't crawl into her skin.

She also realized that she felt the old Aerowena clawing at the inside of this very conservative dress. 'Just lower the top a little' the voice taunted. Pushing the cleavage down further, she marched down to dinner.

Aerowena never felt out of place, despite the fact that she was the only one who dressed for dinner every evening. Most of the Wardens, even the mages, wore their training gear or armor. Eventually, most paid her no mind when she came to dinner, but a few stared. Cullen just looked lost in thought.

She sat down directly opposite him, poured a goblet of wine and drank it in one gulp. She felt regal and righteous and let him drool over her...'Hic'

"Pardon" Cullen said looking up.

"Nothing… I …'hic'" she felt her face flush.

Cullen smirked "You were saying?"

"Oh, blast it." She muttered and lowered her head to eat.

'Hic' , the giggling started at the far end of the table. She sniffed, loudly. Men giggling indeed.

She held her breath and counted to thirty. 'Hic'

This time the giggles carried randomly through the dining hall.

She sighed and poked her tongue against her cheek, staring at the far wall. "If you're all quite…'hic' done"

Now there wasn't a soul not laughing out right.

She picked up her fork and ate daintily, ignoring the laughter which began to settle down a few moments later.

'Hic'

Cullen was laughing so hard he hadn't touched his food. She looked down at her plate and secretly smiled. His laughter was so welcome to her ears, that she almost begged another hiccup to come. She opened her mouth and belched instead.

"Oh dear maker", she thought. Oh no! She didn't think that, she said it. Horrified, she stared at her plate and saw Cullen out of the corner of her eye fall off the bench laughing.

Instead of leaving, which she wished to do at this point more than anything in the world, she filled her cup with more wine and gulped that down without a breath. The hiccups at that point were moot because the room began to sway. She looked into her cup to see if it had some strange brew, but it was only wine. She'd had wine a hundred times and nothing affected her like this. Some small part of her brain told her to stop, but instead she filled her glass with wine again and drank like a soldier on leave.

Now she hiccupped and giggled at herself. Cullen was watching her with interest when she suddenly picked up her potato with her fork and flung it at his head. It landed with a wet sound smack in the middle of his forehead and then rolled to the ground.

Cullen sat there staring at her in disbelief. His eyes were wide with shock and a little anger. Aerowena, however, dissolved into so many giggles she thought she'd never get air.

Then she sat up straight and grabbed her fork. Looking right at him she took a forkful of meat bent the tip of the fork back and flung it at his shocked expression. It landed directly onto his cheek and slid down onto his lap. "Oh that felt good. Almost better than that time you put your tongue…"

"Wena!" Callie admonished, laughing and heading over to their table.

"What," Aerwena asked innocently, blinking "He knows where he put his tongue. Don't you Cullen?"

"You're an awfully interesting shade of red, Cullen. I've thought about making a dress of that color, you know. Cut just to here…" she pointed just between her breasts.

"Yes, yes, that sounds lovely, Wena." Callie gripped Aerowena under the shoulders, and drug her towards the door. Aerowena lay motionless with her feet dragging along the stone, one slipper falling off as she was pulled unceremoniously from the room. So much for dignity and drooling, she thought, as she saw Cullen smiling.

Lying in her bed with the ceiling twisting and turning, Aerowena smacked her tongue against her teeth. "Callie" She screamed. "OH no Callie"

Callie came running in with a water soaked towel. "Maker what now? " She asked breathlessly.

"I think I've lost my teeth. I can't feel them t'all." She flashed Callie every tooth in her head, and barring one at the far back, they all seemed to be present and accounted for.

Callie pushed her friend back down onto the bed and put the rag against her forehead.

"'Id ya shee?" Aerowena was grinning under the towel. "Threw a potato at his head, I did. Served him right. Jackass! All judgey and judgmental with his judgey looks and his judgy hair. Haven't turned him into a fwog…fog…frog, but actsh like I did anyhow! Going to zap him within an inch of his life, I am. Zap his bootsh!" Aerowena sat up and started to get up and was pushed back down on the bed.

"Lemme 't 'im. Gaht to zap his bootsh!"

"Yes, zap his boots in the morning dear." She lifted the towel at the sound of soft snoring and quietly left the room.